I snap back to reality. Did I just kiss Ben? I scream internally. What will Erica think. What will Ben think? What was I thinking?
Ben looks a little angry but his face is also mixed with confusion.
"Zoe, what..?"
I sigh heavily and plop onto his bed. "I honestly don't know Ben,"
"Remember when we used to be hella close? What happened to us? Hell, I even told you I wouldn't wait, and yet here I am. I have patiently been waiting for a year. I get it, Ben we're spies, and we are this close to graduation, but don't you ever wonder what else could happen?" He cocks his head to the side. "This isn't even about us is it? It's about what you wanna do when we reach the field. Look, maybe I don't even know what I'm doing, but you'll know when you get there, right?"
I gaze back at him, his eyes searching mine. I stand up abruptly. "I understand, you are so very laid back and ready, Mike is too, and shit, do I even have to mention Erica? So maybe I shouldn't worry about my future as a spy without putting my family in peril right?"
I storm out of his dorm room, tears nearly ready to fall from my eyes. And of course my dorm has to be a good five minute walk from here.