DRARRY - Wonderful Wheezes

By dothechachaslide

4.1K 256 74

Harry Potter is the only one who can save Weasley's Wizard Wheezes. And Draco Malfoy is the only one who can... More

Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Epilogue
Author's Note

Chapter Eight

225 15 1
By dothechachaslide

"Up and at 'em Weasleys!" Harry called, walking through the hallway and banging on their doors.

He heard a large thwap from behind Ron's, and waited a moment before opening it up.

Ron was still wrapped in his blanket, fallen halfway off the bed with a grimace fixed on his face.

"Mate," Ron said, "what the hell are you waking us up for? The sun hasn't even fucking risen."

"Quidditch match," Harry replied, then he swept out of the room on his way back to the kitchen. He'd decided to take Malfoy's advice. Today, he wasn't going to think about the shop at all.

"I said QUIDDITCH match today!" he bellowed. "Front row seats for Puddlemere United."

"Fuck you, Harry!" Ginny shouted back, and he decided that was confirmation enough she was awake.

He was humming to himself as the bacon cooked when Ginny finally stumbled in. She was wrapped in her fluffy polka-dotted dressing gown, glare so pronounced he was sure he'd still be feeling it tomorrow.

"Well, don't you look ravishing?"

She sat at the table, barely managing to prop her face up on her hand, red hair falling over her eyes like a sheet. "You're the worst housemate ever. Ron agreed it wouldn't take much for us to kick you out, just a couple jinxes and maybe a nice," she yawned, "Imperius."

He laughed. "Yeah, good luck with that. I've made breakfast."

When he sat a plate and mug of tea in front of her, Ginny took a long sip and sighed. "I take it back. Maybe we'll use the Imperius so all you do is cook for us, and the rest of the time we can keep you in the cellar with Kreacher. I could live with that, I think."

"Ah, good plan."

"Thanks."

Ron walked in a few minutes later, looking much more refreshed.

"Merlin, what's up your arse?" Ginny asked as he spun Harry around in a circle, dipping him low. Harry laughed, shoving Ron away and to a seat.

"Our Harry forgot to mention one key detail. Puddlemere is not playing just anyone, oh no, they're going up against The Ballycastle Bats."

Ginny slammed her palm on the table and pointed at Harry. "Yes! There is absolutely no way the Bats lose. In your sad fucking face, Potter!"

"Everyone beats the Cannons, I don't know why you're so determined to hate PU."

"It's not about the Cannons," Ginny insisted.

"No, it's the principle of the thing," Ron agreed. 

"You're both ridiculous. The game starts at 8, so you'd better be ready to watch your hopes and dreams die before we leave at 7."

Ginny groaned. "Why do you hate us? We have never been anything but kind to you. Took you in for the Holidays, let you eat mum's cooking, I even sucked you off once."

Ron immediately clapped his hands over his ears, miming a gag. "Oh, that is rank."

"And yet you're going to make us get there an hour early just to sit in the stands and freeze our arses off?"

"Yep!" said Harry brightly, ruffling her hair as he walked past. "Half an hour left to get ready, and I expect you to be out right on time. We're not missing even a second."

He heard Ginny sink to the floor in defeat, and then Ron's voice, muffled through the walls, asking, "You really put your mouth on his—" Harry could imagine the accompanying facial expressions and gestures to Ron's point across.

"Just because you're sad no one's ever wanted to do that to you..." The rest of the sentence he didn't hear, as he went back to his room to change into something more Quidditch-Appropriate.

ϟϟϟ

"Oi! Is that you, Potter?"

They all turned around in their seats at the voice, and Lee Jordan laughed delightedly, bounding down the stands towards them.

"Ron! Ginny! I didn't know you lot would be here."

He looked better than the last time Harry'd seen him, but that had been just a month after Fred's funeral. His jacket was wrapped tightly around him, face covered in blue and gold paint.

Ginny's mouth flicked up at the corner, and she shaded her eyes from the sun with a hand to look up at him.

"Well, you know, no excuse to miss watching Puddlemere get some of their confidence knocked out of them."

"You wish."

"You'll be eating your words later, I promise you."

"You really think Wood will let a single quaffle pass him? The man's unstoppable, and I should know."

"Even if that were true, your chasers won't have time to win. Jones'll catch the snitch within an hour, I guarantee it."

"Is that a bet?" Lee asked, delighted.

Ginny's face looked markedly less confident at that.

"You want to join us?" Harry asked. "I'm feeling a bit outnumbered with these two."

"You traitor!" Ginny turned to Harry. "We only let you sit with us because you promised us sausage on a stick. We're not letting you corrupt the group."

"I delivered, didn't I? Despite the fact that it's eight o'clock in the goddamn morning and you've just had breakfast, are you or are you not eating a sausage right now. Is it or is it not on a stick?"

"That's beside the point."

"You know, I think I will join," Lee told Ginny, sitting. "It'd be a lot harder to see your lovely face from across the pitch, wouldn't it? Though I suppose Omnioculars have to be good for something."

Ginny went all red at that like Harry hadn't seen her do since she was in third year.

She started looking around the stands and then cried out, "Malfoy!" triumphantly.

Harry jumped, turning to where she'd pointed.

Malfoy was sitting several stands above them, but he'd looked up when Ginny called, and he waved curiously at her. So much for not thinking about the shop.

"What the bloody hell are you doing?" Ron muttered.

"Evening out the numbers."

"The numbers are even. Torture Harry all you want to, but why must you punish us?"

Malfoy's shoulders were draped in a large black cloak, a red bat seal pinned on one side of his chest.

"If Harry's going to make me sit through this," Ginny said, "there will be retribution from his favourite new colleague. Come here, come join!"

The rest of the nearby fans, who had all been pretending not to be listening in up till that point, leaned in closer with interest.

Malfoy moved slowly, his face impassive.

When he got to them, he stood regally by the railing for the pitch, his face not betraying anything he was thinking. "Did you need something?"

"Nah, but Harry here's a Puddles fan. At first, we had him outnumbered, but now..." She gestured to Lee in his blue and gold face paint and Malfoy's eyebrow twitched up ever so slightly.

"Ah. It's a shame, that."

"Exactly what I said. So, sit."

She patted the seat. Harry was on her other side, and Ron was next to him, with Lee taking up the other end.

"Oh."

Now Malfoy just looked terrified. Not, like, 6th year terrified or anything, but his face had paled and his eyes darted to Harry's face and back to Ginny's once. Actually, Harry was quite sure that if he hadn't spent years studying all of Malfoy's expressions in school when he should have been studying for potions, he would have missed the fear entirely, but it was there.

"Well." Malfoy looked at Harry again, and he realised with a jolt that Malfoy was asking for guidance. That somehow—at least compared to how he felt about the others—Malfoy trusted him. So...

"Sit," Harry said.

"It's just that I was with someone already."

Harry looked back to where he'd been seated before and saw a woman leaned back elegantly, a smirk on her cherry-red lips. She had on a pair of sunnies in the same shade, and flaxen blonde curls pinned neatly atop her head.

"Getting into trouble already, darling?" she called.

Malfoy rolled his eyes, but Ginny looked positively delighted. "Another Bats fan? She's more than welcome to join."

The woman was approaching them before Malfoy had a chance to invite her, propping one arm up on Malfoy's shoulder and jutting out her hip. Harry saw the way Ron's eyes trailed up her legs and felt an irrational pang of concern on Hermione's behalf. It wasn't like they'd promised to one day get back together or anything, but Harry had kind of... assumed that they would.

Malfoy sighed, but there was an amused light dancing in his eyes. "Astoria, I presume you recognise Harry Potter. That one there's Lee Jordan, and those two are Weasley's. Ginevra," he pointed, "and Ronald."

"It's Ginny, actually," Ginny said at the same time that Ron said, "Everyone calls me Ron."

Astoria's mouth curved into a small smile and she held out a hand to Ron, waiting for him to shake it. He did, hesitantly, and Harry wondered if the slightly horrified expression on Malfoy's face was because he noticed the glazed look in his eyes too.

When they took their seats, Harry somehow ended up next to Malfoy. He still felt uncomfortably close to the eye-fucking tournament going on just a short bit of space away, so after lots of eyebrow-wiggling from Ginny that he was pretty sure was supposed to convey how funny she thought the whole situation was, Harry decided to scoot further down the stands, if only because seeing Ginny in such good spirits had become something of a rarity.

Malfoy slid with him, looking grateful.

They were far enough away now that the others probably wouldn't hear them if they spoke, but that also meant that Harry felt compelled to say something to break their silence.

He cleared his throat. "Er, I take it you and Astoria aren't together, then?"

Malfoy laughed once, sharply, and a smile pulled up the corner of his lips. "Are you really that oblivious? Potter, despite what the prophet or my mother might think, I don't date women."

"You..." Harry's throat caught and he cleared it again, forcefully. "Right, then."

"Right."

They turned back to the game.

Hours stacked up till it was well past noon, then evening, then heading towards darkness. Lee was narrating over the official announcer, and it was almost more fun to watch Ginny and Malfoy pretend they didn't find anything he said amusing.

"Bats have the quaffle — oh, lucky that didn't last long — Wadcock, yes that is her real name ladies and gentlemen, you can trust that I asked, is back in possession — passes it to Bricks — not half as smart as one if you ask me — and the Puddles score!

"Jones seems to have spotted the snitch, but Williams is not far behind, thank Godric — he makes a dive — oh! Wood is hit right in the face with a Bludger despite attempts at a Sloth Grip Roll. Will this mean the end of his two-month dalliance with Witch Weekly supermodel Nichole Dendron? A promising turn of events for men of the UK.

"We've got a — USE YOUR BLOODY HEAD, WOOD! THE HOOP'S NOT THERE FOR DECORATION YOU FUCKING — "

"Dear Merlin," Malfoy murmured, his hands clasped in his lap, "do you think the whole stadium can hear him or just the few hundred on this side of the pitch?"

Harry hid a laugh behind his hand, clapping as Wadcock got the quaffle past the Bat's keeper.

"AND AS FOR YOU, YOU DODGY, HALF-WITTED, ARSEMONGER — " Lee continued.

"I thought you said you were a PU fan." Ginny's eyes weren't on the game anymore, and they hadn't been for a while now. They tracked Lee's movements as he stood up and leaned on the railing.

"I'm a big fan when they GET THEIR HEADS OUT OF THEIR ARSES AND PLAY THE GAME!"

She snorted, meeting Harry's gaze for a brief moment. Her face reddened and she leaned back against the mostly-empty stand behind them, cupping her hands around her mouth to holler, "Keep playing right like that, Wood! At this rate, you'll win me a bet!"

"Oi," said Harry, "it's not exactly his fault, is it? You'd be dazed too after getting bludgered."

"If only he was bludgered before every match," Malfoy said. "Then you could explain how he flies the rest of the time."

Ginny laughed delightedly at that, leaning across Harry to clap him on the shoulder. Malfoy flinched, looking startled but not displeased.

"If you really want to make good on that bet — " Lee sat back down — "I'm gonna need some basic assurance."

"Oh, like what, you great tosser?" Ginny asked.

"You know, what we're betting on, what the stakes are. Pretty typical stuff, my friend."

She scoffed. "What do you want, then? If you win?"

"Hmm, let's see. If you lose, I want..." Lee looked around the stadium, presumably for inspiration.

"Dinner," he decided finally. "You're buying."

They looked at each other, and Harry swore he could feel the weight of that statement simmer in the air. He and Ron exchanged a glance.

"And if I win?" Ginny asked.

"I'm sure we have nothing to worry about there."

"If I win," she pressed.

"If you win, suppose it goes the other way around. I buy."

"No."

Harry blinked, startled. He'd been sure Ginny was going to go for it.

"Something more impactful," Ginny said. "Something that's really worth it."

She paused, revelling in their rapt attention. Even Malfoy seemed intrigued. "I want you to streak through the Quidditch pitch." At his wide-eyed expression, she continued, "I suppose you can glamour your face if you like."

"You are always so kind," Ron murmured.

Lee stared at her, and then he snapped out of his reverie and said, "Whatever the lady wants. If that's seeing me without clothing, well..." Ginny reddened and began to protest, but he continued speaking over her. "Sure, I'd prefer other venues, but I have no complaints."

Which was a good thing, too, because the Bats caught the snitch just as they turned back to the game.

As Lee ran through the pitch stark naked—Ginny laughing madly and Ron wolf-whistling—Harry and Malfoy sat in silence, the space between them feeling a lot bigger than it had the night before. There was something about him that always made Harry feel as if he were talking to a stranger. It took Malfoy a while to warm up every time they spoke, like they had to start over from scratch.

"Well, it was nice getting—"

"Would you want to erm—"

They both froze.

"You first," Malfoy said.

"Oh. Er... would you want to go for a pint with us after this? Now, I mean."

He blinked, his gaze falling behind Harry to meet Astoria's. She gave them a wink, the finger she was trailing down Ron's collar curling possessively.

"I'm not... opposed."

"Great!" He hadn't meant to sound so enthused. "Well, we usually head to The Leaky Cauldron if—"

Astoria stepped in front of them, her long legs demanding attention as she hooked one ankle through the railing behind her. "There's a better place just off Holborn that we could go to," she cut her eyes to Malfoy, "Muggle. Not far from an apparition point."

"Sounds perfect," he said. "Up for it, Potter?"

"Er, yeah. Sure, why not?" He turned to the others. "Ron?"

"I could go for a pint. And it'll be nice to not have to put on a glamour for once. How 'bout you, Gin?"

She looked consideringly at the field below where Lee had been spelled in place with a team uniform thrown around him. "I might have a bit of a rescue mission first, but I'll be there."

Harry nodded, but when he briefly met Malfoy's eyes, he felt more out of his depth than he knew what to do with.

Finally, he managed to find his voice. "Alright, well, erm... to the apparition point, then!"

One step at a time. It was going to be a weird night.

Continue Reading

You'll Also Like

401K 7K 84
A Drarry Muggle AU Instagram story of how they started off as strangers in the same art class and ended as lovers. They had to try and hide things ab...
54.8K 2K 13
Harry Potter. The boy who lived. The man that can't die. The prophecy. "Neither can live, while the other survives." The only thing that could defea...
213K 9.8K 30
A few years after the Battle Of Hogwarts and Harry is getting married. To Ginny Weasley. He hasn't dated anyone else so why would he marry anyone el...
355K 11.8K 16
"You know what Potter... I think I'll take that offer," Draco began, walking closer towards me, backing me against the wall. "Wait, really?" I looked...