Lana's P.O.V.
I take a deep breathe and lift my head up from its resting place on my knees. Slowly I stand up and go into a bathroom to splash cold water on my face. Then I go to meet my mom at the front door.
"Hey sweetie! How is Aaron today?" She asks.
"He's been doing good today. We got matching tattoos." I say slowly, testing her reaction.
"Oh! That's so cute!" she replies smiling.
I smile back and we walk up to Aaron's room in silence. As I open the door I watch Aaron close my laptop and he has a huge smile on his face. Did I mention I hate surprises? And when my friends buy me gifts. I just feel like I won't ever be able to repay them.
"Oh Aaron!" My mom says while running over to give him a hug. She's kind of like his second mother, considering his parents ran out on him.
"Hey, Mrs. J." He says smiling.
"I brought us dinner! Well Chinese food..." Mom said. She never considered any kind of take out food a real dinner. But she snuck it in here for us.
"Thanks mom!" I say reaching for a piece of chicken.
We spend about an hour or two just sitting and talking. Most of it's spent eating but none of us mind the comfortable silence that seems to fall between us.
I glance at the clock. "Shit! It's almost nine!" I say standing up quickly. Visiting hours end at eight and even though the staff don't mind when my mom stays a little longer then she should, I do.
"Mom you gotta leave..." I say looking down at her. She must see my urgency to talk to Aaron alone so she nods her head and smiles at me. Then she stands up and gives me a hug and a kiss on the cheek then walks over to Aaron and does the same to him. Then she grabs her bag and before she walks out the door she turns around and looks at both of us one more time.
"I love you both!" She yells.
"Love you too!" Aaron and I yell back at the same time.
As soon as the door slams shut behind her I start to cry again and I turn to Aaron. He's already moved over on his bed, creating space for both of us to sleep tonight.
"Hang on, let me put my PJ's on, once I lay down I'm not getting up again." I manage through tears.
I grab my sweats and a baggy plain white shirt that must have been Aaron's at one point and make my way into the bathroom. As I pull on the sweats and the shirt ,I grab my toothbrush and run it over my teeth a few times. Before opening the bathroom door and climbing into the space next to Aaron. I put my head on his shoulder and turn my face towards his horrid hospital gown. It still smells like him.
"I'm sorry Lana. I'm so sorry." He whispers into my hair.
"D-Don't apologize Aaron. I just.. I don't want to think about it yet. I don't want you to ever leave me." I whisper the last part and squeeze my eyes shut as even more tears threaten to fall.
"I know....." He whispers. Then he takes my chin with his right hand and makes me look him in the eyes. "Lana, I don't want to leave you. I hate the fact that you'll be all alone down here without me. I hate that I have to do this too you. You know that. I didn't want this to happen....... But everything happens for a reason... " he says.
"I don't care what the reason is.. " I whisper looking away from him. "I'll give up whatever life changing event could come from losing you. Just to keep you." I whisper.
Aaron sighs. "Lana....... You know that can't happen."
That did it. I feel like waterfalls erupted behind my eyes. "I-I-I-I k-k-know.." I murmur turning my head back down to Aaron's chest.
He kisses the top of my head. And I can feel his tears just starting...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Aaron's P.O.V.
I guess it hit me finally. That I'm dying. That I'm not going to be there for Lana anymore. That I'm not going to be here with Lana anymore. I have been. for six years. Six years ago if you had asked me about Lana and I, I would have just said 'Oh she's in my class and we get along but we don't talk much."
But then one day she came in looking pretty depressed. So I walked up to her.
Flashback-
"Hey.. Are you okay?" I ask.
She looks up at me, straight in the eyes and starts to cry. "N-No." she whispers.
I pull her into a hug. "It's okay, whatever it is I'm sure it will get better. Do you wanna talk about it?"
She shakes her head and starts sobbing into my chest. I rub her back.
"Shhhh.. shhhh.. everything is gonna be fine." I coo.
We just stand like that for a while, her tears stain my shirt, but honestly I don't mind. I don't know how much time went by but she finally looks up at me with piercing blue eyes, almost identical to mine.
"Your name is Aaron.. right?" she asks.
"Yeah, and you're Lana, right?" I ask.
"Yeah that's me.." She whispers.
"Right. Well if you ever need someone to talk to Lana, you can come to me. I'll always help you. Pinky promise." I say holding out my right pinky.
She looks at me and then my pinky. Then she lifts up her left pinky and entertwines it with mine.
*End Flashback*
I didn't even realize how hard I was crying until I felt Lana shaking on me.
"Lana, are you cold?" I ask quietly.
"Yeah, a little." She responds.
I reach down and grab the blankets that are bunched around our feet and pull them up around us.
"W-we should get some sleep... I can't stand to see you cry anymore." I whisper.
She snuggles closer into my side and I wrap my arm around her. Wanting to hold her there forever. Suddenly I get this feeling in my stomach. Something isn't right.. I look around the room and see the walls in the fading light. I let out a breath. And kiss Lana's head, I take a second to breath in her shampoo and her scent. She smells of apples. I will always remember that smell.
I lay very still for about an hour. Lana drifted off a while ago but I can't seem to shake the feeling in my stomach. My hand twitches and brushes Lana's arm. She looks up at me.
"I thought you were asleep." I whisper.
"Not yet... I'm just thinking." she says sighing and laying her head back down on my chest.
I pull it back up.
"Lana.... You know I love you right? You're the best friend I ever had." I didn't mean to say it in the way of actually being in LOVE with her. But I mean a normal guy can love his best friend with no other feelings. Not me though. I had to fall for her.
She smiles slightly. "I love you too Aaron.. You're the only best friend I ever want." she says kissing my cheek.
"Goodnight.." she whispers.
"Goodnight Lana." I whisper back, kissing her head once more and interlocking her tattooed pinky with mine before drifting into a deep sleep......
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lana's P.O.V.
The sunshine poking through the window and directly into my face isn't what wakes me up early the next morning.
It's not even the doctors and the nurses yelling and screaming. It's the nurse the rips me from Aaron's side. Separating us for eternity. It's like I can feel time stopping, and the two of us being torn apart.
I then realize what's going on. The steady beat of Aaron's heart that has been perfectly fine for days. Is gone. It's been replaced by a steady beep.
"Aaron....?" I whisper.. One of the nurses turns to look at me with pity in her eyes.
My tears start to fall. "AARON?!" I scream. Nobody pays attention to me, I stand there violently shaking and sobbing as they bring in the crash cart and try to resuscitate him.
The heart moniter just keeps going with that damn steady beep.
"Come on Aaron... Don't leave me. Not today please please please..." I whisper still sobbing..
Time seems to stop. I watch the doctors try, and try, and try, and try... but then slowly one of them backs away and hangs up the paddles. Slowly all the nurses and doctors back away from Aaron's bed.
"NO! AARON!" I scream hitting my knees. "You promised. You promised.. you promised...." I whisper to no one.
I throw my head back and let out and endless sob. I cry for hours. I make myself sick, and I don't even care. My heart is broken into a million pieces and my best friend is gone. I pull myself into my chair next to his bed and grab his cold hand. I curl over the bed and just cry. I cry until all I see is blackness.
-------------2 hours later---------------
"Ms. James...? Ms. James..." I hear someone say, while shaking my shoulder lightly.
I look up to see Aaron's doctor. "We have to take care of him.. I'm sorry you have to leave." He says not looking me in the eye.
I turn back to look at Aarons body.
I take in his face.
His bald head.
I remember the way his blue eyes pierced mine as he told me he loved me last night.
I take in the little mole on his forehead.
The way his tattooed pinky is just waiting for me to take it.
I take in how the vein in his hand still stands out.
And how small he looks laying on the hospital bed.
"Aaron..... no.. I miss you already.. .. " And I can't help but cry again.
I take his tattooed pinky in mine, interlock my right hand in his left hand, and stand up and lean over his bed.
His hands are cold. As I press my lips to his cheeks and forehead for the last time I take a deep breath and try to catch what is left of his smell. His smell is impossible to describe, but to me it smells like home. I slip my hands out of his and squeeze my eyes shut, trying to picture him laughing.
Trying to hear his voice.
Taking time to quickly grab our picture from his table, my bag from my corner and my supplies from the bathroom I make my way out of the horrid hospital.
The pain in my heart is undescribable.
I plug my headphones into my iPhone and hit play.
One Direction's Moments came on... And I lost it again.
Its exactly everything that I didn't want to hear, but I couldn't bring myself to change it. The song is absolutely perfect.
"Shut the door, turn the light off
I wanna be with you
I wanna feel your love
I wanna lay beside you
I cannot hide this even though I try
Heart beats harder
Time escapes me
Trembling hands touch skin
It makes this harder
And the tears stream down my face
If we could only have this life for one more day
If we could only turn back time
You know I'll be
Your life, your voice your reason to be
My love, my heart
Is breathing for this
Moment in time
I'll find the words to say
Before you leave me today
Close the door
Throw the key
Don't wanna be reminded
Don't wanna be seen
Don't wanna be without you
My judgement is clouded
Like tonight's sky
Hands are silent
Voice is numb
Try to scream out my lungs
It makes this harder
And the tears stream down my face
If we could only have this life for one more day
If we could only turn back time
You know I'll be
Your life, your voice your reason to be
My love, my heart
Is breathing for this
Moment in time
I'll find the words to say
Before you leave me today
Flashing lights in my mind
Going back to the time
Playing games in the street
Kicking balls with my feet
There's a numb in my toes
Standing close to the edge
There's a pile of my clothes
At the end of your bed
As I feel myself fall
Make a joke of it all
You know I'll be
Your life, your voice your reason to be
My love, my heart
Is breathing for this
Moments in time
I'll find the words to say
Before you leave me today
You know I'll be
Your life, your voice your reason to be
My love, my heart
Is breathing for this
Moment in time
I'll find the words to say
Before you leave me today..."
I breathe out as the song ends.
"I love you Aaron...." I whisper to no one as steady tears continue down my face.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am gonna be completely honest I cried writing this. Ugh. Well I mean next chapter is the One Direction chapter!!!!! :) you guys every time i listen to Moments from now on I'm gonna be reminded of this and I'm gonna cry. meh. it was worth it. Updating right nowww! <3
-HayLoHoran-