A/N: WARNING! Self-insertion.
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You open your eyes to yet another, unfamiliar environment:
A small room- that was clearly an office once, due to a large shelf and old school computer get up that took over half of the space. There is a large, black, leather spinning chair to accompany it. The rest of the room is a framed, unmade bed propped up against the large, curtained windows, and two sliding mirror-doors that lead to a closet.
You were laying facedown on the plush, tan carpet that was sprinkled with bits and pieces of shredded paper- craning your neck to behold the messy room.
It was only when you subconsciously scratched an itch on your cheek, that you realized you were human again!
Suddenly, the door opens and in comes a strange lady with an armful of laundry. She shuts the door behind her before turning around and noticing you. Que the laundry being dropped and the lady jumping around and screaming. Kind of like that 'Oh Shoot A Rat' guy!
Can't blame the lady- you'd freak out too if a stranger was splayed out on your bedroom (computer room?) floor. Strangely, you did not feel the urge to freak out. Just examine.
Being on the ground, you analyzed the stranger from the bottom-up.
She was wearing pink slippers with tiny pandas in the print, pastel blue sweatpants, a green Attack on Titan sweater, and a loosely wrapped scarf with snow leopard design.
Her long, black hair was down- merely brushed out and nothing more, and she wore rectangular eyeglasses with bling on the edges.
Before you could blink, the lady reached underneath the right side of her sweater and-
SWEET MOTHER TERESA THAT'S A GUN!
Instinctively, you raised your arms.
"Don't move, or else." The lady threatened.
HOW THE HECK DID SHE SWITCH FROM BEING SCARED TO BEING SCARY?!?!
You beg her not to kill you.
"Then don't give me a reason to. I'm calling the cops."
Feeling confident, you remark that you'll tell the police that she threatened to shoot you. In response, the lady scoffed and started ranting at you.
"Don't you know where you are? This is the State of Arizona. We have what's called 'Castle Doctrine'. Plus you're the intruder here. And in this American household, I uphold the Constitution- including the Second Amendment."
"I don't know what any of that means, but I'm not the bad guy here!" You scream.
"Well neither am I."
"But you have a GUN!" you argue.
"I am one of the 72 MILLION people in America that LEGALLY own a gun. We're not all psycho mass murderers. We are law abiding American citizens exercising our gun rights!
The current president says 'No Amendment is Absolute' but that is bullcrap. The 13th Amendment freed the slaves. If one Amendment is taken away, then all the others- including the 13th will be taken too.
Also, I don't know if you've looked outside yet, but I live in the middle-of-freaking nowhere. There's coyotes, mountain lions, bears, rattle snakes, and javelina. Those can EAT YOU ALIVE if they wanted to. That's why I bought this gun- for SELF DEFENCE! (Also to ward off my stalkerish ex-boyfriend).
If you are a threat to me, I will defend myself. Please don't make me have to defend myself."
"I don't know how I got here, I swear!
I was reading some Attack on Titan fanfiction about becoming a horse and the next thing I know, I'm here!"
The lady hesitates.
"... What was this fanfiction called?"
"I don't remember, but it was by... Uh... Okami-something. I only know because 'Okami' means 'wolf' in Japanese and I'm a weeaboo."
"Okamisan7?"
"Yes! That's it!"
The lady immediately puts her handgun back in the holster on her belt and reaches a hand down to help you stand up.
"My apologies, dear reader."
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"So... can you send me back?"
Okamisan7 turns to you with a contemplative look. She had given you milk and an endless supply of your favorite type of cookies- partly out of hospitality, and mostly out of guilt. You had eaten several of them until you finally worked up enough courage to ask her that question (still shaken up over that whole gun ordeal).
"No, but you can send yourself back."
"I can?"
She nods.
"Just stop reading right now, log off your device and walk away. Simple."
"NO! I didn't mean that!"
"Ah. So you want to return to the reader-insert fanfic where you wake up in Attack on Titan as a horse." She concludes.
You nod.
"I'm afraid you can't do that." She sighs.
"WHY NOT?!"
You shouldn't have screamed but you were upset. Unbeknownst to you, Okamisan7 follows the Golden Rule to a T. So if someone shouts at her, she shouts back:
"BECAUSE SOMEONE DECIDED IT WAS A GOOD IDEA TO CHANGE THE ENTIRE FREAKING PLOT!" You were unsure if she was addressing you, herself or both. But nonetheless, you jump at the loudness. It was like her voice itself was a gun!
"AND NOW THERE IS NO PLOT- I CAN'T EVEN GET INSPIRATION FROM THE OFFICIAL CANON!"
*THUD!*
Okamisan7 bangs her head hard on the table and just stays there.
"I've been stuck with this writer's block for YEARS, (Y/n). I didn't even plan this through. I just wrote it out as I went along. I used the official canon as a reference, but didn't want to completely copy it. I never expected this fanfic to get so much attention as it did. I try my absolute darndest to make every chapter special and unique but it's never enough. I struggle to keep up with the updates but life kept getting in the way. And now, I'm a grown woman. But life has taken over and I feel so bad for neglecting this story that I had started in my teen years."
Timidly, you attempted to console the troubled author.
"I agree life sucks... that's why we read fanfiction."
Okamisan7 turned her head and smiled.
SCORE!
"Maybe... you could rewrite it?" You suggested.
"If I rewrite it, then all that work I did would be gone. Plus, there's too many things happening all at once. It's hard to keep track of and too much sensory overload." She explained.
"Maybe... I could help?"
"Thanks, but I think you've done enough damage- no offense."
You fell backwards. "OOF!"
"However," you sat up in anticipation at Okamisan7's statement.
"I live in a country where everyone should be free to have opinions and speak their minds and do what they want.
So though I may not agree, you do you. If you think you can help fix all the chaos in the story, then you can go and try."
You go to hug Okamisan7 in gratitude, but she abruptly shoves you away.
"KEEP YOUR SOCIAL DISTANCE!"
"Sorry! I'm so sorry!"
.
.
.
"So... how do I go back to the story?"
Okamisan7 pauses. Then she turns to you with a serious expression.
"It's already hard enough to write a fanfic with no plot, handle fourth walls, and find ways to squeeze vines, memes and various references in without disrupting the general flow of things in the story. Just don't question the logic of fanfiction. It will be for the better ok?"
"Oh! Ok."
.
.
.
"Why are you still here? The story needs you."
"I have a question."
"Shoot."
"Am I ever going to be in human form and interact with the Attack on Titan characters that way?"
"Nope."
You resist the urge to scream again- not wanting to experience more of Okamisan7's scary shouting voice.
"Why not?"
"Because then the story won't be SNK Various x Horse!Reader anymore, now would it? Emphasis on the HORSE reader. That's an idea for a different story. Don't like? Don't read.
...Or maybe you could write that on your own." Okamisan7 explained.
You black out again before you could answer.
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A/N: Thank you so much for 117K Reads and 3.6K Votes!!!!
I appreciate each and every one of you dear readers for the reads, votes, for following me and for adding this story to your reading lists (even after all this time). I apologize though- because there's over one thousand of you! That's soooooo many names! That's not a bad thing, but it makes it hard for me to do Special Shout Outs.
Here's what I got before my brain and hands died (figuratively):
Special Shout Outs to these dear readers for voting, leaving comments, following me, and adding this story to their reading lists:
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Again, I apologize if you weren't mentioned this time. I will get next time for sure though! And I also apologize if any names are misspelled.
Until next time~!