"Hey, Dad." Albany pops up behind her father with an upset look on her face. "Sup little apple what's the problem?" N.Y asks picking up the kid. "Well... You're a guy right?" N.Y laughed. "Well I believe so."
"And you've dated guys and have been through stuff with them right?" She asks again with a small giggle. N.Y scowled. If this baby has some sort of lover at the age of 8- "Yes... I have? What are you getting at here lil' apple?"
"Well... I got boy problems." Mass who had just entered the room choked on his coffee. Then started directly at Albany. "YOU WHAT?!"
"Well... Two of the biggest bullies in my 3rd-grade class have a crush on me. And they keep fighting over me and it's kinda weird. I don't know what to do." Mass dropped his dunkies. "Holy shi-oooooot that sounds terrible!!" N.Y said giving Albany a big hug. Glaring dead at his brother. "I know dad! And... I thought at first I liked Jackson. But now I think I like Anthony. FEELINGS ARE CONFUSING!!" She yelled pounding her small fists on her father's back. This New Yorker is gonna kill these kids. "Well, ya know Uncle California knows a lot more about this sort of stuff than I do hun. Maybe try bringing this up with him? I mean he did make a lot of Disney movies." Albany nods before kissing her father on the cheek. "THANKS, DAD!!" She quickly skipped away to find California. "Mass. Get the god damn gun."
"New York. We are not doing this shit again."
"YES, I AM!!"
"NO, YOU'RE NOT-"
~Meanwhile with Albany~
The small capital walked down the hall playing with her skirt a bit and just wandering around. "Albany!!! HI!!" Trenton said with a huge smile and a wave. "Oh! Hi Trenton!! What's up?" Trenton shrugged moving closer to Albany. "Nothing much~ Just finished doing some chores."
"Chores suck."
"I know right!!" Trenton liked Albany for quite a bit. They just thought she was nice, funny, cute, always had a pretty smile and those beautiful blue eyes... They even had tints of green and brown when in the right lighting. The two had so much in common. Only if they had the chance too... "I've been thinking ya know... I've been having lots of boy issues and stuff and can't really think straight. I... Don't know who I like. You know Jackson and Anthony in our 3rd-grade class right?"
Trenton groaned a bit, he hated those two. They always picked on him. "Yeah... Why? Did they hurt you or something?!" Albany giggled, Trenton was just if not more protective of his friends than her father. "Oh, no silly! It's just they both like me. I don't know what to do about it..."
"Boys are stupid." He replied bluntly, "If you chose one, chances are the other may start bulling you because you didn't pick them. Then if your boyfriend finds out about it, they'll fight the other. Causing their friend group to join and those friends to join. Eventually leading to an all-out war at school. So don't pick. I'll protect you apple!!" Albany grinned. "Thanks, blueberry!!"
Who needs boys when you've got the best best friend in the world?
WHOLESOME-
*Speaks New York*