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### author's note ###
please listen to オレンジ (Orange) - 7!! on repeat. you won't regret it. it matches this chapter, the feeling i mean 🥲
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Two weeks.
It's been two weeks since I get myself to Kobe.
Two weeks away from Atsumu, Suna, and even Osamu.
Two weeks being at my hometown to heal this wound.
I get off the cab once it stopped in front of the entrance gate of my college. Today, I'll be attending class as usual after missing it a few times.
I looked up at the big painted building. I felt nervous to be in class since we'll be having a merged class; where I will meet Atsumu later.
I took a deep breath and walked passing by the entrance gate.
It was almost to fall season in Japan, and the weather was quite chilly that day. I tucked my hair behind the ear, slowly making my way towards the class.
I could see people walking here and there around the campus, spotted few couples walking with their hands held firmly.
Oh, I missed that feeling.
I arrived here back in Kobe last night, yet I stayed at a cheap motel near to the campus. Honestly, I wasn't fully prepared to meet people. My emotion was still unstable as I was still trying to heal. This time, it'd take a longer time than I expected.
Two weeks with no phone signal, just enjoying my time with my family, went to the waterfall with my cousins, and just have fun. Two weeks without thinking about him, someone I used to love. Two weeks... Without seeing him.
The first thing I get once I arrived here was countless missed calls and texts. There are mostly from Atsumu, Suna, Osamu, and even Mika. Some of the committees and Inarizaki members also sent me messages asking if I were okay.
I felt grateful to have people who care about me. Really.
I continued walking, heading towards the wooden bridge, only to be stopped when I saw the figure of a person who was dear to me. There he was standing looking at me.
Miya Atsumu.
I clenched on my sling bag's strap, hesitating if I should just pass him or turn back. I felt nervous. It's been two weeks, two bloody weeks.
He was there in his mustard hoodie, one that I have once worn to campus. He looked surprised when he saw me, hands slipped in his hoodie pocket. He took his steps forward, slowly approaching me.
I averted my eyes when he stopped right in front of me, his eyes latched on me. I saw him stretching his lips into a smile from the corner of my eyes. "Hey" he greeted me softly.
His voice. I missed hearing that. But he sounded different. It's just different.
I remained looking everywhere but him, ignoring his greeting. He chuckled at how I acted. "It's really a surprise to meet you here" he mumbled, eyes didn't leave me. He forced himself to keep the smile on his face, even though the silent treatment I was giving offends him.
He cleared his throat, "Can we talk for a while?" he asked, causing me to turn my head to look up at him.
I missed being this close to him.
"Just one last time... Please..." he pleaded as he stared at me in the eyes. I looked at him, scanning the face of a person who I loved so much, more than everything. Someone who I used to dream about having a life together. Heh.
I pursed my lips and hummed. Atsumu flashed a relieved smile. "Let's sit over there and talk" he referred to the wooden bench placed under the cherry blossom tree near to the entrance gate. I turned my head behind and hummed again.
"It's been a while" he was the first one to break the awkward silence. I held my hands together, fingers intertwined with each other. My heart couldn't stop from racing. Why does my heart feel so heavy? Why do I feel so nervous?
I hummed, nodding my head silently. He kept the smile on his lips still, "How long was it again? Maybe two... Or three weeks? Could even be four" he cackled awkwardly. I let out a sigh. "Let's get to the thing that you wanted to say" I mumbled. The smile on his face faded and he sighed, humming after.
"I know you've been avoiding me. You didn't pick up any of my calls, not replying to my messages, even had me inboxed" he begun. I hummed, giving him a quick and short response. He stared at my side for a few seconds before adjusting his position on the bench, sitting facing to the front. He held his hands together and cleared his throat.
"You know... You no longer have to do that" he said. I quirked an eyebrow. I didn't get what he meant.
"I'm dropping out of college"
I quickly turned my head to look up at him, eyes widened as I was too surprised with that sudden decision of him. I furrowed my eyebrows, implying a why at him and he read me well.
"Too many things happened while you were away. I got benched and that had father to go feral on me. Me gotten benched was unacceptable for him... He even asked me why, what actually happened to me" he scoffed, faking a chuckle. "And I told him that I was acting like that because..." he hesitated. "Because I just lost a person who I love so much" he pursed his lips. "But he was being stubborn, he didn't understand the pain I was carrying. He said that I willed to ruin my career in volleyball just because of this break-up. He didn't know how painful was it for me"
My heart raced faster. The nervousness in me kept rising.
"And that made him to come up with an idea of sending me abroad... To Brazil" he looked down at me.
And that's how my heart broke into pieces. Abroad? Brazil? For what?
"I'll be starting a new life, a new career in volleyball there" he uttered.
My eyes started to get wet. Why do I feel sad? Didn't we end it in a good way? It's been two weeks, y/n. You should have been okay by now. Why are you tearing up?
He stared at me for a minute with a sad look on his face before he forced a smile to hide his sadness. "I know I shouldn't bring this up but I just want to talk about this... One last time" he cleared his throat. "That night... I didn't do it" he shook his head slowly. "I really didn't. Maybe you forgot but I once said this to you; I might be a dick, but I will never fool you. I said this when we watched the movie at your place"
"I didn't really abandon you, neglect you, ignore you. I was there... watching from you afar. I have never begged someone but I did it for the sake of you. I begged Osamu to help me out; passing you the medicines when you were sick, drive you here and there, to ensure you that you eat well, rest well, and live happily. I did that behind you because you're still my girlfriend even how mad I was at you. You're still one of my priority and I can't just let you be just like that. It's just... The ego always won me over. I can't help but to feel disappointed in you when you told me what happened between you and..." he stopped for a while before continued, "Suna".
He took a deep breath and looked up at the blue-ish sky, smiling softly. "I also did think of having my own family with you, y/n" that's how I dropped a tear.
"Just picture how my children call you as their mommy" he pursed his lips, bowing his head. He let out a sigh, "I told my mother about you. I told her about you a lot. I even told her about how I wanted to make you as my wife, I even started saving up" he chuckled.
"Hurting you was never a thing that I enjoyed doing. More like I don't want to see you in pain, but too bad, I'm a normal human too... Who tends to make mistakes over and over. I'm sorry, y/n. I really am. I'm sorry for causing you nothing but heartbreaks" he sniffed as his tears fell. "Ah, shit..." he quickly wiped them off.
He held his hands tighter, head was still bowed. He cried silently next to me, wiping off his unstoppable tears with his hands.
He then turned his head to look at me, the crying mess. "The months I spent with you... Were great" I cupped my mouth, eyes locked on his. "I've never loved someone as hard as how I loved you. I couldn't find myself open up my heart for someone else. I just love you so much" he sniffed. "You were the reason for all my smiles and laughter. You were the reason why I chose to wake up and attend classes, never skip practices, and to always play volleyball. You were my backbones, my supporter, the one who I saw as my motivation to keep going forward. It's you, l/n y/n. It's always been you"
He buried his face in his palm, crying silently while I watched him, also in my own tears.
"I know you're still upset and mad at me and I understand that. It's just... I would like to say my apology once again. I really didn't do it, I'm very sure of it"
"Thank..." he stopped when he heard me sniffed out loud, unable to hide my sadness anymore. He furrowed his eyebrows, seemed to hesitate to say the next thing.
He sniffed as well and cleared his throat. "Y/N..." he called my name softly. "Thank you for giving me the chance to be called as your boyfriend. Even if it's such a short period, I loved it. Thank you for all the good things you've done for me. I'm very sorry for giving you the treatments you hate the most. I'm really sorry for breaking your heart, hurting you continuously. Thank you for..." Atsumu looked at me in the eyes.
"Thank you for considering me in your life..."
"I hope you will find your own happiness. I hope the person after me will treat you better than I did. I hope he won't hurt you, I hope he will make you smile all the time" Atsumu for a smile.
He crumpled his forehead as his tears couldn't find their way to stop from falling, the same goes for me.
He stared at me for some minutes before curving his lips into a crescent.
"I'm letting you go, y/n"
I felt like my world has just stopped moving.
That was the last thing I wanted to hear from him.
"Please live a happier life after this" he sniffed, wiping off his tears.
"Goodbye... My one and only... The love of my life"
My sobs turned out audible. I cried out loud, eyes didn't leave from looking at him through my watery, red, and puffy eyes.
"Please allow me to hold you one last time" he said, waiting for my answer. I didn't give him any response but I wanted him to hold me. I don't mind if he wants to hold me for a long time. I wanted him to do that.
I nodded my head slowly.
And he quickly pulled me into a tight hug. He cried again, holding me close to him. His hand held the back of my head, burying my face in his chest. He sobbed, his chest pumped faster. He cupped my cheeks, pulling himself away, and looked at me.
"My flight will be in two days. Please take care of yourself and eat well. Please don't get sick hm?" he pursed his lips before leaving a peck on my forehead. His lips were shaky. He wasn't as strong as he seemed to even kiss me but he was still insisted to do that for the last time.
He gets up and walked away, leaving me behind on the bench, still crying so bad. I turned my head to watch him walking towards his car parked not far from the entrance gate, until he got into his car.
I was at my biggest loss.
I lost the person I love the most.
I just lost someone who I knew I wouldn't get to move on that easy.
A figure came and stood in front of me before he knelt down on his knee, cupping my cheeks in his hands. He brought my face up to look at him.
Miya Osamu.
I couldn't stop crying. I cried out loud at him while he wiped my tears with his thumbs. He was giving me a smile before he pulled me into his arms, hugging me tightly.
I clutched on his sweater, burying my face on his chest. The pain coming from my chest didn't stop.
I hate this feeling.
I really hate it.
"It's okay, I'm here" he said, rubbing my back while the other hand of his stroking my hair gently. "Why Osamu? Why...." I asked. "Is it really necessary for him to be that far from me?" I clutched on his sweater tighter.
The male shook his head. "But he did this because he loves you" he replied.
"He really loves you that he had to sacrifice lots of things for the sake of your own happiness, y/n"
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### author's note ###
share your assumption on what's going to happen next. i would love to read your point of view 🥰
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