The silence in the car was not just excruciating, no, it was suffocating.
None of the two guys in the car dared to move a muscle in any way.
Sapnap was still sitting behind the steering wheel, his reddened knuckles on the wheel were reminding the boy next to him that he wasn't dreaming, that it wasn't a fever dream.
It happened.
And Sapnap realized it soon enough as well.
"Fuck", he breathed and laid his head down on the steering wheel.
A single tear was running down the cheek of Karl, mixing with the almost dried blood. He was trembling, chewing down on his bottom lip so much that it almost started bleeding too. He tried to prevent the whimper slipping from his lips but it was strenuous.
The smaller boy turned his head to the side a little bit, his initial nervousness and sorrow turning even harder. He sat up straight and his hand was shaking as he tried to reach forward to the brunet in the passenger seat. "Karl? Can I?", he asked.
Sapnap's voice was having a startling soothing effect on Karl and he slouched, burying his head down in his hands. "You can't go back there", he suddenly said, his voice surprisingly audacious.
The boy in the drivers seat pulled his hand back at his tone. He watched how Karl's shaking became subside and how he tilted his head back into his nape, revealing his messed up face. Blood started to run down his neck as it was mixing with his tears.
"We should go inside and clean you up", he ignored his sentence, running circles around it to avoid thinking about leaving his mother alone with his father.
Karl only hummed and opened his door to put his feet down on the pavement outside, only to find out that he was scarcely able to really stand. He was exhausted and just wanted to get inside, into his lovely bed.
He felt his presence next to him, turning his face to him afterwards. His state was his fault, it was Sapnap's fault. He looked so sickly and it was solely his own fault. Karl gyrate his head forward again and teetered towards the house. Sapnap walked quickly after him.
He helped the taller boy with getting out his keys, he helped him after he had complained so many times, said so many times that he can walk on his own but he still had helped him with walking upstairs.
So many thoughts were running wild in Sapnap's mind as he slowly sat the boy down on the bed.
Karl had enough reasons to end whatever they had. This all wasn't good for him and definitely not healthy. Sapnap was not good and not healthy for him. God, he was making that boy suffer so much.
"You look like you want to throw up", Karl croaks.
Sapnap looked up to find his friend looking back at him. "Can I help you clean your wounds?", he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.
Someone would say that the tension was so thick that you'd probably be able to cut it with a knife. But the situation was not in any way awkward. They were both completely exhausted and Sapnap felt so much guilt, it was eating him alive any time he looked at the blood smeared face of his opponent.
The smaller boy immediately stood up as soon as he heard the brunet slightly humming in permission. He was in the bathroom within seconds, his hands shaking as he wetted a towel. Suddenly, all his feelings were running up the way his throat. It was like someone lighted a fire in his chest and the smoke was finding a way out of his body, out of his chest and he let out a slight sob as his lip started quivering. "Fuck", he mumbled and wiped the few tears off of his cheeks.
He walked back into Karl's bedroom and sat down on his bed next to him. His hand was still shaking a little bit as he lifted the towel to wipe the blood off of the brunet's cheek gently. Sapnap felt the intense stare on his face, how he regarded him with such an interested look. The smaller boy jumped at the sudden touch of tender fingers on his own cheek, wiping over it slightly.
"Did you cry?", the taller boy asked wistfully.
"Maybe", Sapnap answered rather sheepishly.
Suddenly Karl's hand wandered to Sapnap's hand, pulling it away from his cheek, causing the smaller boy to budge nervously. As soon as the brunet intertwined their fingers, it felt like a stone falling down from his heart and it fell down heavily into his stomach, untangling a sigh out of Sapnap. He thought he'd shove him away because honestly, he had all the right reasons to. It was delirious for the smaller boy that Karl was still talking to him, looking at him and touching him. And god, it felt so good.
"I know what you're thinking right now", the brunet spoke up.
Sapnap still had his eyes shut, his hands quell in the tight, yet soft grip of Karl's hand around his.
"It's not your fault, Sap. You told me to never come to your house without telling you. You told me, you warned me", he placed his one free hand up at his cheek again.
"It was my choice to drive to your house and it was my choice to climb up to your window. Don't you ever dare and think that it's your fault again".
"It is my fault. If we wouldn't know each other, if we wouldn't be...", Sapnap stopped himself talking.
Karl was biting down on his lip again, his thumb running softly over the smaller boy's cheekbone.
"You told me not to come to your house because you didn't want this to happen. I know you never wanted this to happen, you never wanted me to meet your father in any way. But I still did, I still came over to you and I'd do it again. I would always do it again if it means that he'd stop".
"W-what? Karl, you're crazy, stop fucking car-", he cut himself off again after he had stood up in his sentence.
The brunet stood up as well.
"Were you really about to say 'stop caring about me?'", it's barely a whisper, mostly just a subtle movement of his lips.
"And what if I did? Would you finally stop it?".
Karl stepped closer to Sapnap and cupped his face, again a tight grip with a lace of softness and a look of affection in his eyes. "Never".
The smaller boy lifted his hands up as well, placed them down on the two hands on his cheeks.
"I don't deserve you".
"I am in love with you".
Sapnap didn't stir. His hands on Karl's didn't stir, his eyes didn't stir. Nothing. "What?".
"You heard me", the taller boy said seamlessly.
His opponent pulled his hands back down. They were shaking again.
"Can you say that again?", he asked faintly.
A soft smile spread across Karl's face. "I love you, Sapnap", is voice was filled with fondness and it was combusting the smaller boy.
His hands found their way back on Karl's cheeks as he pulled him into a fervently kiss. They were melding into it, so enamored and sunken in each other's presence. It was dazing for both of them and Sapnap's heart started to beat so loud in his ears as he felt the brunet lean more into the kiss, eagerly pulling at his pullover so they were walking backwards towards the bed.
As Karl felt the bed behind his legs, he slowly sat down on it, pulling the boy he loved with him. He was squirming underneath him, his hands shaking yet again as he cupped Sapnap's face and pulled him more down. A soft moan slipped through his lips as he felt the other's tongue entering his mouth. The smaller boy's grip on his waist hardened and he hunched him up a little bit, deepening the kiss again, only to let him fall into the mattress afterwards. Sapnap was still hovering over him, looking down at him with dilated pupils.
"You tell me to stop whenever you feel uncomfortable, okay?", he asked.
"I never feel uncomfortable with you", Karl babbled, his mind fogged by the way his pants were getting tighter.
"You're so cheesy", Sapnap giggled slightly and leaned back down again, connecting their lips in another scorching kiss.
------------------------
Hey, thank you for reading chapter twenty nine! I hope you like it :D
Stay healthy & I love you so much <3
Twitter for updates: cyleedd