A/N: Guess who's back!
Freedom!
Finally, after so many weeks of torture, so many disastrous days and an insufferable month of chaperoning the new girl, I was officially free from the shackles of Roseanne Park and no longer needed to be her personal school guide. I was a free woman and suddenly the air was fresh, the birds chirped happily and the sky was blue. All was well.
I was both delighted by the fact, as well as exhausted from having just gotten back from Irene and Suho's stupid wedding. Honestly, who the fuck drops the big news when the wedding is just the next day? To say I was perplexed would be an understatement.
You see, right after baby loser and I finished cleaning the disaster at the perfume store, Irene's annoying ass decided to tell us the little detail she'd forgotten. And by little, I mean the huge bomb of the fact that they were getting married the next day. Is it just me or is that as crazy as it sounds?
Anyway, back to what I was saying in the beginning, I was exhausted and lying prone on my bed while thinking back to the events of the day, and how terribly wrong everything had gone thanks to none other than baby loser herself. If there's one thing I'm pretty sure of now, though, is that Irene is definitely never coming back to town now that she's met disaster master Roseanne.
At least I had fun.
I remember arriving at the venue and immediately thinking the wedding would fall nothing short for ostentatious, which isn't surprising in the least bit if you've ever met the couple. The back garden of a luxury hotel was beautifully decorated and filled with a bunch of snobs, whom I guessed were all related to Irene somehow, because out of the two of them, she was the only one with class who could actually afford such a place.
I was all alone because Lisa said she couldn't stand to watch her life-long crush marrying someone else, especially a woman she never liked, so I decided it was best to not push and leave her alone. I didn't ask Haruto to go with me either because I'd rather have someone look after Lis in case she needed something. That girl cold be a lot to handle when she was sad, so much so that I even allowed Yugyeom's stupid ass to stay the day with her. He didn't stand a chance anyway.
So there I was: completely uncomfortable in fancy clothes at a fancy wedding I didn't even want to attend to begin with, and my day was already ruined. Baby loser arrived about ten minutes later and, unfortunately for me, she'd be my date for the day because Irene still had this ridiculous idea that we were together; can you believe that? How absurd!
But when I turned around to greet her, I'm pretty sure my eyes opened wide as saucers because nothing could've ever prepared me for what I saw: Roseanne was wearing an off-shoulder pink dress that was so tight I could appreciate every curve of her body, and so short I could relish on the marvelous sight of her beautiful long legs, yet long enough for it not to be tacky. I would be lying if I said she didn't look absolutely mesmerizing right then and there.
But beauty can only do so much, and when I noticed the scrapes and scratches on her knees, as well as the compression bandage on her ankle, I remembered just how much of a fucking klutz she was. And of course, why not, she was still wearing those big ass thick-rimmed glasses that made her look at least four decades older. To top it all off, she was my responsibility for the day, which meant only having to listen to her incessant chatter all morning, but also making sure she didn't cause any disasters. Talk about an impossible mission.
Sighing defeated, I took her by the hand and we walked out of the lobby into the big garden where the chairs were evenly distributed leading up to the altar, and where everything was covered in delicate flowers. I surveyed the area trying to look for empty seats that weren't too close to the altar and it was proving to be a little bit difficult because, surprisingly, the place was packed with guests. I guess I never knew those two were so popular.
We settled for some seats in the middle row, and I immediately noticed how tense and inpatient Suho was, staring at his pocket-watch every once in a while and I wondered if he was really that eager to see Irene, or if he just wanted this whole entire circus to be done with once and for all. And If I knew my brother well, it was definitely the second one.
At some point I felt baby loser staring at my side profile intently and it was starting to make me feel awkward so I turned around to face her but she diverted her eyes immediately and I didn't miss the subtle pink blush coating her cheeks. Furrowing my brows, I thought she was acting strange until I felt a slight tugging on my arm which made me realize we were still holding hands, our fingers entwined and all, and I immediately pulled out of her grip.
"Sorry" I mumbled.
But she didn't say anything, and instead we fell into another uncomfortable silence.
The string quartet started playing a soothing tune and everyone knew the bride had arrived. One by one, each and everyone of us got up to watch her stride her way down the aisle – everyone except baby loser, whose glasses had just fallen on the ground. I'm starting to think she should really get lenses.
It's honestly unbelievable the way she's always doing some shit at the most inappropriate times – almost as if she does it on purpose or something. Rolling my eyes, I tried my best to ignore the weird girl crouching down to look for her glasses but, of course, she wouldn't let me. Long story short: Irene's heel got stuck on Roseanne's dress while the latter was still on the floor, and she ended up tripping and falling on her face right before she reached the altar. It's safe to say none of us could hold in our laughter except for baby loser, of course.
Irene's bitchy face was priceless.
After Roseanne's word vomit of silly apologies, the ceremony finally began and needless to say, it was boring as fuck. Once the vows had been said, the kiss had been kissed and all that romantic crap was done for, we moved to the other side of the hotel's garden for the reception, which would also be held outdoors. If I'm being honest here, everything looked really beautiful, but don't tell Suho I said that.
All I wanted at this point was to go home, that's why when the guests were all gathered around the couple as they sliced the cake, I stayed put in my seat just drinking some champagne and brooding because, not only was I forced into attending this stupid wedding, but apparently Irene wanted me to propose a toast and pretend we were one happy little family. What a load of shit.
"Here you go, unnie" baby loser's voice interrupted my musings.
Looking up, I met her gaze and she was already looking at me with a smile while she placed a small plate with a slice of cake in front of me. I looked at it for a moment and then back up at her and frowned.
"I didn't ask for cake."
"I know" she shrugged as she sat down next to me at our table, her smile never leaving.
I stared at her as she basically devoured her own slice and I realized the way her cheeks would puff out with food made her look like a squirrel or something. Cute.
"Thanks" I muttered softly.
She just smiled at me and continued eating.
About half an hour later, when people were scattered around just talking and enjoying the live music, I took a sip of cold water and cleared my throat, for it was already time for my toast. Getting up, I clinked my champagne glass with a knife to gather everyone's attention.
"Annyeongaseyo, I'm Ji –"
But my speech never happened. The moment my eyes caught a glimpse of baby loser standing in the far corner near the pool, my senses immediately turned to high alert and my body tensed with anticipation. She was walking towards me – towards our table, to be specific, and I could tell she hadn't realized the presence of a waiter behind her, who was holding a tray of champagne glasses and giving them around to the other guests.
Oh shit.
Without even thinking about it, I put my glass down and ran towards her as fast as I could in order to stop the impending disaster. However – and luckily for me –, baby loser stepped to the side right on time to let the waiter walk without stumbling. I heaved a sigh of relief at that.
...but good luck never lasts long with Roseanne, now does it?
You would think I'm making this shit up and believe me, I wish that was the case, but no. The reality of this whole chaotic scenario is that Irene was standing at the other side of Roseanne, which means baby loser bumped against her and fell to the ground on her knees, successfully knocking Irene over, and guess what happened? That's right, she fell face first inside the pool with a big and loud splash.
And that's when I did the only thing that seemed right in that moment: I took Roseanne by the hand and dragged her out of there, running for dear life. But hey, at least now I'm pretty sure I won't have to see Irene and Suho's stupid faces ever again. Silver lining.
I fell asleep after a while of reminiscing in my bed; I was so tired I didn't even change into my pajamas. There is something about sleeping with the comfort of knowing that you're officially free from the thing or person who's been giving you a headache for a month straight that just feels utterly satisfying.
Honestly, let's think about it and look at the big picture here: I wouldn't be responsible for Roseanne's shortcomings and wouldn't have to take all the blame for her disasters anymore. I wouldn't have to listen to her stupid and meaningless conversations with Jennie, or her annoying jibber-jabber in my ear that just wouldn't stop, or even her annoying ass singing all day every day. I wouldn't have to hangout with a pathetic nerd who's a menace to society, and I wouldn't have to worry about whether or not she's walking a little too close to a wet surface.
No sir. From now on I was back to being Kim Jisoo: a hot and proud lesbian who can take naps freely during recess without a care in the world, because I was no longer in charge of a stupid little girl who had done nothing but bring back luck to my life since the day I met her. I was myself again, and I would surely enjoy it.
-
The weekend was over and I was fully rested and ready to go back to school and have a normal day for once in a very long time. I got up from bed and took my sweet time getting ready, making sure both my hair and makeup were on point; I put on my uniform and walked downstairs with a smile on my face until I took a look at our clock on the wall and realized it was eight o'clock, which is when our classes begin, and I immediately panicked. I was definitely going to get yelled at again.
So much for a normal day, huh?
Sighing defeated, I took my backpack and ran as fast as I could to the bus stop, even though I knew I was already late as fuck. To my non-pleasant surprise, Chaerin was back in town and she was definitely not happy with me; I recognized the flare of her nostrils and the scowl on her face, and I didn't need to hear a word from her to know I had to go to the vice-principal's office. Great, just great.
Even though today's punishment wasn't as severe and hard as painting the school walls had been, I still didn't think it was fair for me to have to stay after school to clean up the entire campus. What about me screams janitor in the making? Fucking hell.
I'm starting to think all this time that I've spent with baby loser has made me a magnet for disaster myself, because how come I went from having a nice relaxing Sunday to having a crappy Monday? Something was just not right.
Do you realize how annoying it is to get yelled at early in the morning by your school's vice-principal in his office? And as if that wasn't enough humiliation, our math teacher wouldn't let me take a seat, so I was forced to spend the entire class standing up in a corner like a fucking weirdo as punishment for being late to his class. I hate this damn school.
When the bell rang, I made my way to the cafeteria since I hadn't had the time to eat breakfast and I was starving. Taking my food, I walked with my tray and took a seat at the first empty table I could find, which was almost impossible because apparently, I wasn't the only one extremely hungry that morning.
Hanbin sat next to me and he wouldn't stop complaining about our disgusting cafeteria food and to be fair, yeah, it wasn't the best, but it wasn't as terrible as he made it out to be. Or maybe I just had no standards when it came to food. Whatever.
As I was saying, it looked as though all the students were starving that day because, as I looked to the side, I noticed how some of Bobby's stupid friends were sitting on the floor because his table was full of all sweaty and disgusting jocks and Chungha, who had been stuck to Bobby's side like a leech.
To make matters worse, Momo the weirdo ended up sitting with Hanbin and I because there weren't any other empty seats and she didn't really have many friends to begin with, so I gave her the chair next to me reluctantly. I swear the only thing that girl knew how to do was sit alone during recess and stare at Bobby from afar. Clearly she had a thing for him, so it's safe to say all the straight girls in this school are stupid. And the fact that he didn't even notice her staring? Ridiculous.
What kind of oblivious asshole must you be not to notice when a girl is into you? Teenage boys are so dumb.
I must admit not having baby loser following me around like a stray dog was a weird feeling. I had gotten used to her presence, but that doesn't mean I'm complaining. If anything, it was a huge relief to not have to worry about anything and for once I could actually enjoy my food in peace. I'm just saying, it was a little weird for the school to be this... normal that day, ya know? No disasters, no food fights, no paint flying off spraying the walls? Something was off.
Maybe Roseanne had killed all our teachers?
Nah, I doubt it. If anything, the only person she would actually manage to kill would be Daniel, who had become best buds with her. If you ask me, I'm starting to think there's something more than just friendship going on between those two, because why else would they be spending so much time together? And for him not to complain about her clumsiness? Something wasn't adding up.
As I was enjoying my delicious janchi-guksu, and my new freedom, I heard the one thing that could make all the blood in my body to turn ice cold. I hadn't heard that sound during the entire day and the fact that it appeared during lunch time only made matters worse, for my stomach turned into a knot. It was second nature to me by now to recoil at the sound of the voice of none other than Roseanne Park herself.
Why, why, why??
"Unnie, I was looking for you" she chirped happily with that annoying squeaky voice of hers.
Rolling my eyes, I turned my head to the side to face her and she was smiling at me.
"What the fuck do you want, baby loser?"
"Sooya" Hanbin whisper-yelled next to me, while elbowing my rib.
"What? She deserves to know" I countered with an annoyed huff.
Roseanne's eyebrows furrowed and she looked at me confusedly.
"Know what?" she asked, looking directly into my eyes.
I scoffed while crossing my arms over my chest and I looked up at her with a mocking grin.
"You forgot what day is today?" I asked. "And here I was thinking you were smart. Guess not."
Her frown deepened.
"I don't understand."
"Dude, just cut it off already" Hanbin tried to stop me but I ignored him.
"It's already been a month, remember?" I said – my eyes never leaving hers as I slowly got up from my seat and stepped closer to her face. "Which means I don't have to deal with your bullshit because I'm officially not your guide anymore."
Her eyes widened and I could see her defenses visibly crumbling when a sad look took over her eyes.
"Oh..." she captured her lower lip in between her teeth and nibbled on it nervously.
I let out a chuckle.
"So you do remember" I said, the smirk never leaving my face.
"What – what are you saying?" her voice cracked ever so slightly.
And that's when I stopped smiling and my whole semblance turned serious.
"That I don't ever want to see your stupid face again" I simply said. "That you're an annoying little girl who does nothing but get me in trouble and that I don't like you; I never did and I never will. We're not friends. Better leave me the fuck alone from now on."
"U-unnie..." she uttered barely above a whisper and I saw tears already spilling from her eyes, which she tried to wipe away with her hands but to no avail.
At this point she was already sobbing and I felt a strange pang in my chest, which I tried my best to ignore.
"See you never, baby loser" and with that, I walked away.