To all ships - The oversized volatile pitcher™ Is not just a big slingshot! It is our main weapon against Graf Zeppelin's Jehovah witnesses!
Albacore - You're surprisingly talented with using the oversized volatile pitcher™ for defensive purposes, but I just don't feel comfortable handing you a building sized slingshot.
Atago - For inspiring Bismarck, you will be leashed.
Ayanami - Just because you're a ship, that doesn't mean you can or should tank cannons with your face. Go to Vestal for repairs.
Belfast - You will not use Enterprise 1 to satiate your public humiliation fetish. This is not a suggestion.
Bismarck - Do not punish subordinates by forcing them to nude in public. Indecency does not faze anyone in this base.
Enterprise 1 - hydrogen peroxide gets rid of blood. Just get cleaned up. - If it wasn't for your honeymoon, or Belfast screaming seventh heaven inside your bedroom at night, I'd have believed that this marraige was doomed from the start.
Enterprise 2 - That is what you get for being a cheap skate and refusing to give us the rats. Since imprissoning you seems quite useless as a punishment, we will be sending you on a raft into the pacific.
Formidable - You may not make an entrance using homemade bombs. - You may not use homemade bombs. - True, a nuke is not a homemade bomb, but you still may not use them. Especially to make an entrance.
Graf Zeppelin - For sneaking in those actual Jehovah witnesses in our military base at night, we will find you, and you will discover the horrors of pyre crucifixion.
Honolulu - Your suggestion that Roon is the reincarnation of Satan will be thuroughly investigated.
Hornet - Don't kill Belfast for deviling Enterprise 1. Besides, if anyone is doing the "defiling," it's Enterprise.
Illustrious - No, you may not flash you oppenonents as an destraction. Congratulations on being the cauze for the most seizures ever in human history.
Javelin - DD guns are not a safe way to start campfires.
Jean Barte - The last thing Purifier needs is a rival. I want this base to remain radiation-free. I can imprison you over this.
Kaga - I know that the Jehovah are annoying, but we will not declare war on all of Christianity. - Nor will we be waging war against god. - or all of religion in the world.
Laffey - Do not raid the vatican secret archives just to see if you can succesfully do it. - Well. so, you can. Now you know. congratulations.
Prinz Eugen - Bismarck does not have the authority to force you to skinny dip, even if you enjoy the process.
Sheffield - You may not use the Jehovah as ammunition for the oversized volatile pitcher™.
Taihō - The admiral fanclub is to seize the construction of the holy church of commanderism immediatly! - We will not train those new Jehovah to "spread the good word of our lord and savior the commander."
Tirpitz - When Bismarck is trying to punish you by ordering you to skinny dip, you're allowed to tell me. - put your clothes on first, and then go to me second!
Z23 - I consider you to be the "normal" one of the destroyers. Therefor, I must ask; Why are you friends with Laffey and Javelin? I've overheard their masterplan to quite literly melt all your braincells with a semiconductor laser.
Zuikaku - You do not have six future wifes, even if they agreed to it. - Don't play the homophobe card on me, I know you're straight. I still have half of the burned marraige proposal you wrote over 7 months ago.