Saturday, October 31st- 9:20 p.m.
As the night grew later, the team fell to the same thing it always did- a circle in the living room. We'd shifted to a different room this time around as the usual living room was still full of other bodies, but we found ourselves in a circle in the gaming room.
Tonight's game carried over the same rules as last time, being more of a truth or drink than truth or dare. I'd brought my own cup with me this time, knowing exactly what question would be continuously thrown at me.
And I was right. Every single time it landed on Ashton and me, we'd taken a shot. The same question was being asked, just rephrased a different way.
"What are your kinks, Annie?"
"Who's freakier, you or Ash?"
"What was the most surprising thing she asked you to do?"
"What's her kinkiest thing?"
We'd opted to drink every single time, hoping eventually it would prove to them neither of us were going to answer.
Ash was about five shots deep, me only about three, but both our tolerances had died off a bit from our absence from drinking. we were both very far from being considered drunk but I would say I definitely felt a little tipsy.
I wasn't paying very close attention to the questions, rather leaning back on Ashton's chest instead. At this point when it landed on either of us, we picked up the cup, knowing what was coming anyway.
After a while, Andrew stood up from the circle, announcing he would be back.
"Don't attack a girl upstairs while you're gone," Calum commented in a snarky way.
"Ah, man, fuck you," Andrew commented back, walking farther away.
"Can't tell me I'm wrong," Calum shrugged, taking another sip from his cup as the circle went back to the previous conversation.
It landed on me and Ash again, making me sigh as I leaned forward for our cup.
"Wait, wait, no," Aj stopped me from across the circle. "That's not my question."
"Oh, god, and what could it possibly be rephrased as this time?" I asked sarcastically, finding no humor in this.
"No, I don't care about that question," he assured me, making me look at him skeptically. I held our cup still, waiting to hear what other shit he would manage to come up with.
"I know you won't tell us what kinks you do have, but that just means you're a virgin, right?" he asked, everyone's attention on me.
"No, I'm not," I laughed back, setting down the cup. I could feel the pain between my legs from last night, knowing the only other person who could possibly be thinking the same thing was sitting behind me.
"So you slept with Ashton then?" he continued on.
I shrugged my shoulders, not giving them a yes or a no. "It's not my turn anymore."
"Oh, I see how you're playing this game," Aj replied cockily, leaning back in his spot with a smirk on his face.
"Ya know actually, I think I hooked up with your best friend at the end of sophomore year," I told him, trying to recall a name. Aj stopped his smirk as he looked over to me silently.
"What was his name?" I finally asked, snapping my fingers as I tried to think.
"You mean the team captain that graduated last year?" Calum offered up from the other side of the circle. "Owen?"
I snapped and pointed in his direction. "That one."
Aj sat silently, shaking his head a bit in disbelief.
"We all have our secrets," I told the circle, leaning in to spin in. "None of you actually know me like you think."
"Yeah, apparently," Luke laughed from the corner. I bit my lip a bit as I remembered he was here, making me embarrassed that I hadn't just bit my tongue instead of getting defensive.
"Wait, Aj... She's the hook-up Owen was talking about?" Mikey laughed from beside him, hitting him in the arm as he obviously recalled some part of something the previous captain had said.
"Oh shit," Aj swore, covering his mouth with his hand for a moment as he obviously recalled something too. He slowly looked over to me, dropping his hand to speak. "You're the hook-up he caught feelings for."
"What?" I practically yelled back, completely confused as to what he was saying.
"He kept talking about some hook-up from right before he graduated that he actually wanted to be with but she ghosted him," Aj filled me in. "You're the hook-up."
I laughed to myself, bringing the cup to my mouth to drown out the information I was learning. I shook my head, trying to remember what time of year that hookup happened.
"Oh yeah, I remembered why I ghosted him," I finally spoke up. "Someone tried to rape me and I couldn't imagine sleeping with anyone after that, so I had to ghost him so I didn't have to explain."
Something about the alcohol in my system ruined my filter, making me say things I never normally would. The whole circle had gone quiet, no one saying anything as I looked back down to the bottle.
"Oh, would you look at that? It's your turn Calum," I spoke, refusing to let the silence stay. "Uh, who's the last girl you slept with?" I spitballed, just wanting the conversation to move on.
"I don't know," Calum said, rubbing his hand across his forehead as the tension in the circle grew. "I guess that girl I took to homecoming."
"Aww, she was pretty," I smiled, proud of him for finally getting a good one.
"Yeah, I guess," Calum shook it off, obviously realizing I was trying to push the conversation along.
I felt Ashton wrap his arm around me, pulling me back against him as a shield from the looks I was getting. Calum leaned into the circle, spinning the bottle to move on from the energy I had created. Eventually, the circle fell back to the normal antics, the bottle avoiding me as we continued.
After I'd listened to most of the guys spill their guts, Ashton squeezed me once to get my attention. "Hey, I'll be back," he whispered into my ear.
I nodded, watching as he stood up from behind me. He walked off from the circle, and I didn't truly pay attention to where he went. I trusted him.
The bottle fell to me again, Mikey's smirk undeniable as he looked up to me from his spin.
"Say it so I can drink," I laughed, picking up my cup.
"What? You still won't say it even without him here?" Mikey pushed. "He won't find out."
"I'm not breaking his trust like that," I shook my head, keeping my voice steady with his doubt pushing at me.
"Hm," Mikey laughed under his breath. "Maybe you should."
I rolled my eyes. "Just ask it, Mikey."
"What's your body count then little Miss Anastasia Hemmings, if you're not the perfect little virgin we all thought?" he asked, changing up the previous question.
I looked down to my hand as I started counting, genuinely trying to think about it before I remembered Luke was here still. "Ya know what?" I said as I picked up my cup. "I'm not saying that."
"Why? You looked like you were counting there?" One of the other guys pushed from across the circle.
"Plus, Irwin isn't even here," another tacked on.
"Yeah, and I know he wouldn't want me to say either," I spoke before throwing back the shot.
"Damn, you're in deeper than I thought," Mikey rolled his eyes as I swallowed another shot of tequila.
"What the fuck's that supposed to mean?" I quickly shot back, waiting to hear whatever cocky response he would come up with.
"There's just-"
"Oh shit, Annie. What are you doing down here?" Andrew's voice filled the room.
My body immediately tensed, hating the way his voice replayed in my head. I felt so much more vulnerable without Ashton here. "What do you mean? I've been down here the whole time."
"Really?" Andrew shot up an eyebrow. I couldn't see past the evil to see if he was actually concerned or not, so I continued my snarky attitude.
"Yeah," I repeated, waiting for him to explain what the fuck he was on about.
"Oh, I just thought you were the girl walking into Ashton's room with him," he explained, pointing back the way he'd come.
I laughed, knowing Ashton doesn't just 'let' girls in there. "Do you think I'd fall for that? I'm not stupid."
"No, Annie. I'm dead serious," he defended himself, moving to sit back in the circle. "It just surprised me to see you down here when I thought you'd gone upstairs with him."
"I trust him, Andrew," I spoke before I could stop myself. "You're trying to fuck with me."
I leaned into the circle, spinning the bottle for my turn before he could respond again. I truly just wanted an excuse to stop the trust issues in the back of my head begging me to go find him.
He wouldn't do that to me... would he? He knew how hard it was for me to give myself over like last night. He wouldn't let another girl into his room knowing I understood what that meant... right?
"What's the question, Annie?" one of the defenders pulled me from my mind.
"Um, if you had to erase one person from your life, who would it be?" I spitballed the first thing I could think of. The looks I got were quite obviously picking up on my nerves, but the team member I'd asked just answered it like it was any other question.
The conversation continued around me but all I could focus on was how long Ashton had been gone. He never left me alone this long. He trusted me but he didn't trust everyone else. He always wanted to be there. Of course, I trusted him too, but it didn't stop the fact I was scared. What if he'd gotten what he wanted last night and was moving on?
All men had ever used me for was my body. What if this was just a long-term plan?
I picked at my cuticles as I tried to decide what to do. I didn't want to up and leave cause the first thing the circle would assume was that I didn't trust him, but I couldn't bring myself to sit here any longer. My thumb was practically bleeding at how much I'd picked at it- Ashton would have stopped me had he been sitting behind me like he had been all night.
I finally let the worst part of my mind getting to me, my fear taking over as I stood up. I grabbed my cup too, announcing I was heading for a refill before walking quickly through the house.
I immediately turned up the steps, heading towards his room with no control. I could feel the pain rising in my chest as I feared the worst.
But this was my Ash we were talking about. He would never do that to me... right?
I quietly reached the top step, striding down the hallway towards his door. So many happy memories existed within the other side of this wooden door- dancing to satellite, the mornings I'd woken up next to him, the aftermath of homecoming, the number of times we'd kissed through our smiles.
So many amazing things had happened within this room, and I was praying to God my mind was just getting the worst of me and it would stay that way.
But it didn't.
I pushed the door open quickly, wanting to see anything I was supposed to before anything had time to change. My eyes immediately fell to two bodies pushed together in the center of the room, his lips on hers.
My heart dropped, realizing Andrew and everything I had ever told myself about not trusting him had been right.
He pushed back away from her as his eyes fell to me in the doorway, his anger melting as he caught my glance.
"Angel."
That word was cursed now, cause for the first time ever, I agreed. You were the devil reincarnated, and you just destroyed any light I had produced.