𝙸𝚗𝚜𝚙𝚒𝚛𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚍𝚊𝚢: 𝙵𝚘𝚛 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚢 𝚍𝚊𝚛𝚔 𝚗𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝, 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎'𝚜 𝚊 𝚋𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚍𝚊𝚢.
I immediately regretted the moment when Ashwin came to stand beside me. He said nothing, showed nothing. It seemed whatever he did, whether he was going with me or not, it seemed that he didn't care about those two girls, including me. Ashwin seemed to be more ignorant than before. His carefree posture, his eyes roaming that place as if he was relaxed and his mocking expression only made me hate me more for still loving him. We were going to my home. When did I become so stupid?
"Did you go back to the Fresh Start Clinic," he asked with looking at me.
"Of course! In fact, I shouldn't have left that clinic," I said and I cut him off when I saw that he wanted to say something else. I wouldn't let him affect me.
"You were an idiot for trying to kill those two girls. You just left the asylum. What were you thinking? Look at you, it's all bloody. What will I say if someone sees you that way," I asked angrily.
"You won't say anything," he replied angrily. I took a deep breath so as not to lose my head, ignored him, and continued walking, knowing that there was no other option.
"Are you going to ignore me now," he asked me in a sad voice and I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Who does he think he is? Tell me to walk away from him with no explanation, asking me to give up helping him, who is my own damn husband, and now ask that??
"Oii, pondatti," he called and I blushed hard, but thank god it was dark and he didn't notice. I just wanted to turn around and give him a huge hug, but I'm still mad at him. Man, he's bipolar, one side he is angry and then suddenly turns romantic.
"Sivaangi," he called me, but I pretended not to listen, causing him consequently, to pull my arm tightly and because I was not prepared for so much force, our bodies collided with each other, making our faces barely separated. I looked into his eyes, which were filled with tears and lovingly, and I was shocked. But I just shrugged it off telling myself he doesn't actually love you, it's just his drunk since doing this.
"Let me go," I pushed him while my eyes were filled with tears, "Do not touch me. You don't have that right," I changed my tone of voice, letting emotions spread throughout my body.
"We are just going to my house so that I can bandage you, while you wipe your bloody face and hands so that no one notices anything," I said as I pointed my index finger at him, "You no longer have the right to ask anything about me and much less look for me. Now I'm the one who wants you away." My voice failed and I had to shut up so things wouldn't get worse. I didn't want to cry in front of him.
With a sigh, I kept walking and realized that it took Ashwin a while to follow me again. Maybe he was wondering if it was really worth it to continue to follow me, but I wouldn't care if he didn't. We went into the house and I immediately sent him to wash his face while I took the bandages and other medical supplies. As I walked over to the couch where he was, I was able to ask myself again why am I doing this, after all, I have to get rid of everything that is about him. I sat in front of him, straightening up with calm and patience I was cleaning his bruises. There were many in different places on his face. I wonder how he manages to stay conscious after all this, but I soon remembered that he is a murderer besides being cold-blooded.
"What are you thinking," he asked when I started to run my hands over his face.
"That you should go," I said at last, as soon I finished stopping the blood that ran down one of his bruises.
"I know you don't want that," he said. Before I could remove my hands completely from my face, he took my hands and put it back where it was before.
"What do you want from me, Ashwin? Do you want me to remain in love with you while you continue to play with my feelings? I am not your little doll to do as you wish," I said and I pulled my hand from his face.
"I never told you that you were my little toy," he muttered sadly perhaps.
"Oh no? So why did you just tell me to walk away from you, with the lame excuse that I would be leaving Waverly Hills soon? Do you want to play with me? Out past Ashwin, you made a point of forgetting that. You already forget that you loved me and," I sighed, "I don't even know why I'm saying this, but I wouldn't mind losing my memory if I had you, that's how much I love you, but you don't even understand. I am gradually able to remember things and I even remembered how I had the head trauma. I remembered practically all the details even our wedding. I wish I could have told you, but I can't because of the simple fact that you're an ignorant idiot. I had already admitted my love for you, so since you can't feel anything, why don't you leave me alone and go live your life without me just as you wanted to?"
"For the simple fact that I don't want to let you go," he looked at me seriously, "No one can understand my head, Sivaangi. I am called a psychopath by many and I don't care. But I can't give you what you want. I am not the romantic boy, you're remembering, anymore. I kill people, I take pleasure in it. I consider it my escape valve, but even so, I am human. I realized that I can't live in this cruel cold-blood world without you. I need you to survive, you're my lifeline. And even if you don't love me anymore, I care about you, I can't let you go again ever. I love you. I love you so much. Won't you say it back to me again," he asked breaking down crying. I have never seen him cry this hard.
I shrunk my body. Even though I knew Ashwin was lying and it was his drunk sense of talking, I couldn't deceive myself and say that his words did not have an indescribable impact on me.
"I want you to go," I said, trying to wipe the tears that streamed down my face.
"Sivaangi ma...," he stared, but I didn't let him finish.
"GO AWAY, ASHWIN PLEASE. I NEED TIME," I shouted and Ashwin saw that this was not the right time to insist, " I already took care of your injuries so I think you better leave." He sighed, giving up, and stop up, Before he could get away from me, he crouched minimally and whispered hugging me, "I am not giving up on you, Sivaangi. I will make you come back to me, and just remember that if any guys come and talk to you, they will not remain alive. I love you." He kissed my forehead and hugged me tightly, I wanted to push him away, but my heart won't let me.
Then he left, leaving me huddles in the same place hugging my wedding pictures, feeling silly for being vulnerable like that.
Pretend this scene was a little bit like the video below!! Watching this video made me cry even though I know it isn't real!!
I was wearing a black full-sleeved top with a grey skirt, with black heels. I was talking with my patient in my old office.
My outfit:
"And do you think you are progressing," I asked my patient?
"Yes, these days I have felt at peace, which certainly means my wife is at peace too," my patient smiled, making me smile too to see that he was happy.
"That's good. You really are much better. I am happy to be able to continue to treat you," I said smiling weakly seeing that he was staring at me.
"What made you leave this clinic, doctor," he asked.
"A new proposal that ended in disaster," I said. He nodded, perhaps trying to deviate from the subject.
"Do you think I can improve more doctor? I want to make my wife proud," he commented with a laugh. Wow, his wife is very lucky. If Ashwin was just like that! Hey, why are you thinking about him, stop it?
" You are really much better, don't forget to take your pills and soon you won't even need to come here anymore," I joked.
"I really want to get better," he smiled, "But I don't want to leave you in this state. You look depressed," I looked at him quickly and sighed.
"No, I'm not depressed. I'm actually quite well," I smiled gratefully.
"All is well then," he said as he got up.
I said goodbye to him and seeing him pass through the door. I would have to see two more patients and my head was already full. I have been in the clinic for exactly four hours, attending to more and more people. I just stopped for lunch. I'm exhausted, but I have to continue. I will not stop now.
Two hours passed and I was finally able to finish my shift. I sighed with relief and took off my lab coat, leaving it in its proper place. I took my things and put them in my bag. I smiled, knowing that it had been another successful day at the clinic. For me, I was doing very well and I was happy to do my best. Helping people with problems fills me with joy.
I went through the gates of the big building and started walking. My house was not so far from my work, which helps a lot, so I always go home walking. It also helps me think, to clarify my thoughts and feelings scrambled in my head. My conversation with Ashwin was still around me, and even though I think he wants to play with me, I can't help saying that I was feeling more and more alive inside me. If I had him by my side, we could put an end to the "Arjun" problem at once, but he doesn't care. I w up from my daydream as soon as I felt a drop of rain on my shoulder. I opened my arms, raised my face to the dark sky, and felt the rain intensify. I didn't care if I got a cold. I just wanted to feel the rain. This was one of the ways to cool my mind. Since I was a child, as I remember, I liked to feel the rain, thinking that, in this way, my problems would wash away from the rain. And I still believe that.
When I woke up to reality, I could feel my clothes sticking to my body and I could see myself attracting a crowd of boys. I was staying in the same place for a long time, thinking about what to do, when I felt my body was pushed to the side, holding me possessively and brutally and I no longer felt the raindrops. I opened my eyes wide, surprised, and when I saw it, I was in a dark alley. My subconscious warned me to run, or something would happen. But contrary to what I wanted, my body was pressed against the wall I was leaning against, and I shivered with fear. I was ready to scream, but I was stopped, by a hand that covered my mouth.
"Shh, shut up," I heard a voice and I instantly relaxed, "Stay calm, it's me. Do not move or you will get wetter than you are. Especially other boys are looking at you, and if you don't want me to kill anyone, don't move," I heard him say possessively.
"What were you thinking, Sivaangi? Do you want to get sick," he asked me.
"As if you care," I replied, unable to locate his face. So I had to raise my hands and feel around until I found his face. As soon as I did that, a light came on, perhaps from the headlight of a car that passed us, and I could see his eyes that were fixed on my lips.
"You have no idea how much I want to kiss you. These clothes are glued to your body," he said as he changed the subject and I felt one of his hands touch my waist.
"I don't think you deserve it," I said.
"Why," he asked.
"Because you wanted me away from your life," I said, "Well then, I also want you to stay away from me." I felt that he caressed my hip.
"I'm giving up on you and all the mess you caused me, Ashwin," I said. The silence predominated the environment for a while and I could hear the rain falling heavily.
"I told you I wouldn't give up on you," he said finally, "You may have, but I didn't," he said slowly, before kissing me, gluing our bodies.
I didn't want to be kissing him, but I felt it was necessary. After resisting for a few seconds, I gave up. He always managed to make me surrender. So I simply wrapped my arms around the back of his neck and returned his kiss. We stayed like that for five minutes, until we lost our breath. We had our forehead against each other, and I kept my eyes closed, wishing that Ashwin would love me right now, even though I knew it would be impossible.
"You still love me, Sivaangi, please come back to me," he whispered in my ear, causing me to raise my head quickly, and I got dizzy, and couldn't say anything. I tried to look somewhere in front of me, but everything seemed to be blurry. I shouldn't have raised my head quickly. I weakened and held on to Ashwin, who in turn held both hands on my hips, balancing himself.
"You are very stubborn, aren't you," he continued whispering in my ear as I tried not to lose consciousness.
I shouldn't have stayed in that rain for long.
"A-Ashwin..," I tried to say, but I was very weak.
"I'll take you home, love," he said and I listened before I felt myself being lifted. Ashwin carried me with my legs around his waist and my head on his neck.
I exhaled his unmistakable scent. Only once after all these months, I felt safe in his arms. And even if he returns to his arrogant self I know, I will enjoy this moment, because I feel that the storm will return soon. Something tells me that the nightmare is going to start soon.
Here's the next chapter. Ignore the typos and grammar mistakes. Sorry for updating late!! Comment down below what you think about this chapter? What do you think about Ashwin finally revealing his feelings to Sivaangi? Do you think Sivaangi will accept Ashwin?? Sorry if I couldn't meet your expectation for this chapter but I will try my best for the next chapter. Feel free to comment on suggestions and feedbacks. I deserve a lot of comments today since I took 5 hours writing this chapter!! By the way, I made a new cover for this book, tell me if you like it or not! Hugs and kisses to all my readers and voters. Love you guys so much!!