I laid on my side on Darren's bed facing the door, waiting for him to come back even though I knew I would be asleep before he did. Because I was a good girl. I did what I was told when I was told. I didn't question. I didn't complain. If I could be good, I wouldn't disappoint Darren. I wouldn't have to go back to the basement.
Just the thought alone had me nearly bursting into tears.
I sat up from the bed and turned to take my sleep aids when the door opened. My heart skipped a beat, but it was only Clive. Disappointment flooded my heart.
"Miss Jaden, please get dressed to go outside," he said.
I blinked once before immediately getting up to go to the closet to change. Ninety-nine percent of Clive's orders came directly from Darren, so if Clive was asking me to get dressed, it was because Darren told him to. I quickly changed into a knee-length black sundress with three-quarter sleeves and a pair of black flats before hurrying over to the door. I knew Darren didn't like to be kept waiting.
Clive and Owen escorted me downstairs and out toward the patio. I didn't ask where we were going. They wouldn't answer, and I would find out soon enough.
But when we stepped outside and started to make our way over to the shed, I felt my heart rate kick up. Only one thing went on down there; it was bloody and gruesome, and I wanted nothing to do with it. The last time I was down there had been brutal. I'd witnessed my first murder of what was likely to be many in my future, and still, it haunted me.
I followed Owen down the stairs of the trap door while Clive trailed behind. Below, the same familiar faces filled the room as last time. Scott stood in the corner with a hard glare in his eye while Clive and Owen moved to flank me. When my eyes finally locked on Darren, I felt myself freeze from the look he was giving me. Oh, God, what had I done? Was I in trouble? But then his eyes fell to the man sitting in a chair next to him. He was bruised, bloody, but still breathing for some reason. Why had Darren kept him alive? Did he want me to witness another one of his second-chance murders?
But as I looked into the eyes of the man on death row, I saw something familiar. It was something I didn't want to remember, but my memories refused such a luxury. Emotions I had not felt in the longest time suddenly flooded my body as I came to recognize the face, allowing a voice to play in my head over and over again.
Can't be too careful...
Can't be too careful...
Can't be too careful...
Motherfucking Jared.
Anger like I had never felt before burned through my veins like acid. I felt my lips pull back from my teeth, revealing a scowl bordering on animalistic while my nails bit into the palms of my tightly clenched fists.
Why the fuck was this guy still breathing?
When Jared's eyes finally found mine, the stupid fuck actually started laughing, and it only made me seethe more.
"Hey there, hot stuff. Miss me?" he barely croaked out with a gurgled chuckle.
"Is he your traitor?" I asked Darren, my eyes still on Jared.
"Yes."
"Then why is he still alive?"
"Because I've decided his life is not mine to take. It's yours."
My head instantly snapped to Darren as my mind filled with confusion. Mine? Nothing was mine. Everything was his. Everything.
"What?"
"Come here, Jaden," he ordered and pulled a gun from the side of his hip.
I went to him without hesitation, my heart pounding out of my chest as I found it difficult to swallow. When I was at his side, he slid a magazine holding what looked like one bullet into the gun and held it up. A silencer was attached to the barrel.
"There is now one bullet in the mag. I'm giving you one chance to pull this trigger and put the bullet in Jared's head. But I want you to understand that I'm not forcing you to do this. You can refuse if you want, and I will allow it this one time. But just know, if you take this gun and you do pull the trigger and end his life, you start walking down an entirely new path, and there is no walking away from that. Ever. Do you understand?"
I was suddenly having a hard time finding my breath. I looked down at the black USP 45 Tactical, and it dawned on me that I actually knew what kind of gun Darren was holding. I knew of its excellent accuracy, the perfection of the craftsmanship, and the fantastic reliability it garnered. I also knew it was a .45-caliber pistol with a threaded barrel to allow the grip of the silencer.
I had never been shy around guns. I grew up around them. My dad hunted and was an avid shooter and proud gun owner. I followed in his footsteps. When you obtained a license to carry concealed, you had a responsibility to educate yourself on that type of weaponry, and I made sure I was a fucking scholar in that area.
I was never afraid of guns. They were nothing to be feared. The only reason to be afraid was when someone had their finger on the trigger and was pointing it at you. But the presence and existence of this particular firearm wasn't what had me alarmed; it was what the man holding it was offering me to do with it.
Darren was offering me a chance to kill someone, and not just anyone—the man responsible for my life as it was now. The man responsible for taking me from my family for not being able to handle rejection and placing me in a hell I never wanted to acknowledge was real. The man responsible for not only my suffering, but also for my loved ones' and for countless others I didn't even know of. The man responsible for raping Kayla in front of my very eyes with a smile of satisfaction on his face as she screamed. A man who had taken part in delivering so much misery to others that I doubted one death for him would be satisfactory.
But even though he was Darren's traitor, and traitors didn't survive in Darren's world, I found it odd. Even though this man was responsible for my coming into Darren's ownership, he still wanted him dead. If I was to be given the opportunity to kill him, I needed to know why I was the offeree.
"You want me to kill the man responsible for bringing me to you?" I asked. I had to be sure this was what he wanted.
"How you came to me makes no difference. You're mine now, and that's all that matters," he answered definitely.
I looked down at the semi-automatic in his hand and went into consideration again.
"What if I say no?"
"Then you say no, and you go back into the house and ready yourself for bed. You will not be punished, nor will I treat you any differently. Nothing will change."
That was it. Like it made no difference to him if I said no. Life would resume as is.
"And if I say yes?" I asked.
"Then you say yes, and we move on to a new phase in our lives. But only if you think you're ready."
Two decisions. But which one would make him happy? Which one would please him the most?
"What do you want me to do?" I asked, hopeful he would tell me exactly what he wanted and expected.
Darren glared at me, his tone harsh and unapologetic. "I want you to make a fucking choice. Make a decision for yourself. You decide, Jaden, not me. Kill him or don't. It makes no difference to me. Jared will die either way. I just thought I'd offer you the right of first refusal."
My eyes went back to the gun he held in his hand. What do I do? I didn't want to question his motives any further. I needed to make this decision on my own, and the thought had me conflicted as fuck.
And then the sound of gurgled laughter filled my ears again.
"Come on, Darren. You're really going to let the little pumpkin kill me?" He chuckled, blood coating his yellow teeth. "Surely, you can do better than that."
My eyes turned to him, lit with instant rage at his words. How. Fucking. Dare. He.
Soft chuckles and smiles from the men around us surrounded me, and I felt myself coming undone, the stitches that held my restraint together slowly ripping apart from the seams. I wanted to lash out, to fight, to maim, to full on fucking rage until I was exhausted and satisfied, and as my body shook with fury, it became harder and harder to contain it.
I could feel Darren's eyes on me, his brow raised like he was waiting to see if I would react. If I would take that kind of shit from Jared.
He chuckled again. "Sorry, sweetheart, but I just don't think you have it in you. Leave it to the big boys who can actually pull—"
I didn't allow him to finish his sentence. Instinct took over as I swiftly turned my body into a reverse sidekick and slammed my foot straight into his mouth, knocking him right out of his chair. The moment my foot made contact, the most beautiful sense of fulfillment washed over me. The taste of revenge lingered on the tip of my tongue, its sweetness filling my mouth like honey. I hadn't lost it. It was still there, waiting to be found.
Jared grunted loudly, and I felt myself moving in on him, my clenched fist rising to strike, but Darren grabbed my arm and held me back. Jared was instantly righted back into his chair, coughing up blood and spitting out fragments of his teeth. I didn't think his mouth would be working properly after that. I moved toward him again, my fists shaking to plunge them into his face, but again, Darren held me back.
"Say one more fucking word, and I'll make you swallow the rest of your teeth," I threatened.
Holy fuck, did I just say that? Were those my words that just came from my mouth?
I looked back up at Darren, shocked and horrified at what I had just done, but the look he was giving me did not suggest disappointment. It was pride. He smiled down at me as if I was everything to him, and it filled me with hope.
Darren held the gun up again one last time, and it blew my mind that there was a smile on my face. But then the moment was ruined by the soft laughter emanating from Jared's fucked-up, bloody mouth.
"I hope you enjoy the rest of your life, baby," he mumbled with a cracked chuckle. "You're both so welcome."
I suddenly felt something snap inside me, like a rubber band finally giving way to its pressure.
I never wanted to hear that fucking sound again.
In one motion, I took the gun from Darren's hand, pointed the barrel at the ground to pull back the slide and push the bullet into the chamber, lifted my hand to aim, and pulled the trigger without a second thought.
The sound that left the gun was nothing compared to the sound that followed.
Darren furrowed his brows in disappointed surprise. "He was three feet in front of you, Jaden. How did you miss?" he asked me, irritated.
I smiled in response. "I didn't miss."
The bullet pierced into Jared's neck, shattering his jugular, and causing blood to spill all over him. His eyes went wide as he began to choke on his own blood, the gushing, croaking sounds he made only drew the corners of my mouth up higher. I didn't take my eyes off him until I saw the life leave his eyes. It was fucking perfect. Even Darren had a smile on his face with my slight deviation from his plan.
When it was over and Jared was dead, I released the slide to close again and handed it back to Darren.
"We done here?" I asked.
"Yes," he said gravely, taking the gun from my hand and holstering it at his hip. "Go back to the bedroom. I'll see you up there shortly."
I nodded and then immediately turned to head for the door, but before I could take another step, Darren snatched my wrist and pulled me to him. His hands gripped my face tightly and then leaned down to kiss me with enough force to strain my neck. But this wasn't a simple good night kiss. This was passion mixed with what felt like relief and excitement. Had I made him happy with my decision? Fuck, I hoped.
"Welcome back, princess. Fuck, have I missed you," he whispered against my face. I didn't know what he meant by that, but I didn't deliberate much when he released me, and I was escorted back up the stairs.
Each step I took brought me deeper and deeper into the understanding that I had just killed someone. For the very first time, I had personally taken a life. And Darren was right—there was no walking away from that.
I found my breath coming faster, weariness fogging my brain while the contents of my stomach twisted and churned inside me. Bolting forward, I grasped a tree, bent over, and threw up all over the bushes.
"Miss Jaden, are you okay?" Owen asked, his voice full of concern while Clive came to my side.
I spat out the nastiness on my tongue and wiped my mouth with my sleeve, the horror of what I had just done leaving me like the contents of my stomach just had.
"I'm fine. In fact... I'm great," I said, meaning it.
My hands were officially dirty now, bloodied with darkness and death. I was no longer innocent in this game. I was officially a legit player. No longer the sheep among wolves, but finally a fucking wolf with the marks on my arm and blood on my hands to prove it.
I suddenly felt alive now more than I had in a long time. I didn't know how to explain it or where it had come from, but knowing I had finally, after all this time, succeeded in one small portion of my need for vengeance was enough to ignite something I'd forgotten was there to begin with.
To see blood spilled in my honor by my own hand was a treasure to behold, and I planned to extort the shit out of it. I would not shy away from this; I would embrace the hell out of it. The goal was to become a wolf, and I was officially inducted, and it felt fucking fantastic. I hadn't felt this elated in so long, and I didn't want to let it go. After all the shit I had gone through, I'd somehow found myself again, and it was in the most unlikely place.
After seeing how pleased Darren was with my decision, I instantly knew he'd wanted that. During my retreat, I had forgotten why Darren chose me to begin with. I'd forgotten it was because of how strong I was, how resilient, and how goddamn challenging he loved me to be. That was the girl he wanted. And when I had pulled that trigger, he couldn't have confirmed it any better than the kiss he gave me afterward.
Sid's words suddenly echoed in my head from our conversation on the island.
"You can choose to be a victim, or you can choose to be something else entirely."
I was finally that something else entirely. I was the fucking phoenix rising from the ashes of her despair and taking flight into victory. From within the shadow of death, I was ready to breathe fire again.
I lifted my head from the bushes with a wide smile and looked into the darkness of the woods, seeing for the first time all the stars between the branches in the distance. Light could be found in the dark, and I was going to extract that shit like diamonds from a mine. I wouldn't lose myself in this. I'd conform, but I wouldn't forget. Not this time. That mouse of a girl Darren had tamed was irrevocably gone and would never be heard from again.
The bitch was back. And she was thirsty as fuck...
To be continued...
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Yayyy! You made it again! You've reached the end of this book but obviously no the end of Jaden and Darren story so there will be fourth book which I will be working on and I will be posting it soon.
Stay tuned