There's nothing like a kiss from someone cute.
That's what Buford's father had told him when he was really little, before the man had run off with some bottle blonde and left him and his mother alone. And really, Baljeet was the cutest person Buford knew. It wouldn't go well with his image if people knew he thought like that. He was glad there's no such thing as mind readers. Hopefully.
The kiss in question had been so... Small. Insignificant. At least, it should have been. They'd kissed on the lips, and yet he was hung up over a tiny, fleeting on-the-cheek kiss. Maybe it was how innocent it had been, so sweet and so kind. Maybe it was because he'd been in a good mood, and hadn't been expecting it. Maybe it was because Baljeet had looked so happy, so relaxed. Maybe he was starting to like the affection.
It didn't have to mean anything... Well, that's what he told himself. It was just because he'd lost his father at an early age, and his mother was working almost all the time. He never got much attention at all. Having Baljeet smile at him, hold his hand and kiss him every day was like some kind of miracle.
'Buford!'
'Huh?' he snapped out of his thoughts, glancing up from his untouched dinner plate to his mother, who frowned at him. 'Sorry, what?'
'I asked why you're not eating,' her blue eyes, so much like his, were filled with concern. 'Are you feeling alright, sweetie?'
'I'm not hungry.'
His mother let out a sigh and picked up his plate, placing it on the counter. 'You're going to regret it later on, you know,' she mumbled as she turned back to him. 'You look a bit sad. How was your day?'
Buford just grunted, getting ready to leave. His mother stopped him with a well-aimed comment. 'That Baljeet kid seems to be around more often, lately.'
'Uh,' it wasn't a question, but he felt like he was obligated to answer. He swallowed with difficulty and looked away, unable to lie to her when they had eye contact. 'We're trying to be more friendly, y'know, without all the bullying.'
His mother smiled and exclaimed at this, but Buford said nothing, downing his glass of water and standing up to go to his room. He wouldn't ever be able to tell her about him and Baljeet. He couldn't mention the mission, so if he told her, he'd have to say he liked the kid. And his mother wasn't exactly... Well, she was a homophobe. No way of putting it lightly.
Because of this, he'd convinced Baljeet (and their friends) not to say anything to her. Baljeet had been surprised, and had exclaimed that he'd thought women were more lenient towards that sort of thing.
Buford thought it'd be easier telling his mother they were just really close friends than saying, 'Oh, he's just a guy I'm dating then going to absolutely destroy so the fucking secret that your fucking ex decided to rape me doesn't come out. Oh? You didn't know? Maybe because I didn't fucking tell you! Contrary to popular belief, I don't enjoy making people's lives hell! Especially my mother's!'
He began to leave the room, but just as he reached the door, his mother spoke. 'Buford,' she said softly. 'You know I'll always be here for you, right? No matter what.'
His hands tightened into fists, his thoughts immediately going back to when he was younger. When his mother had left him alone with that... thing. Had ignored his crying, told him he'd be fine, and then just fucking left. She'd walked straight out the door to her stupid book club. He remembered running up to the window and watching her as she got into her car and drove away, whispering, 'please, don't go, don't leave me with him!'
He could still hear the man's dark laughter as he snapped back into reality, back into his kitchen in the here and now.
'Yeah, right,' he muttered to her statement, and walked out.
Xoxoxo
Later that night, Buford was on his bed staring moodily at his TV, not really watching it, when the phone rang. His mother was in the shower, so he rolled over and picked up the receiver from his bedside table. 'Yo?'
'Buford!' Baljeet's voice came through, the volume startling him and almost making him drop the phone.
'Hey, Buford!' another voice said, and he realized it was Phineas.
Confused, he muttered, 'what?'
'Three way calling is ingenious, isn't it?' Phineas gushed. 'You're on speaker over here, by the way. Ferb's listening in too. Say hello!'
'What are you, my mother?' Buford heard Ferb's voice mutter, and he grinned slightly.
'Okay, so it's a three-way call with four people,' he summed up, switching off his TV and laying back down on his bed. 'What do you guys want?'
'Well, we were thinking-' Buford was momentarily distracted when his mother, who'd evidently gotten out of the shower, turned on the TV downstairs. He zoned back in to hear Baljeet finishing with, 'it will be fun! Do you want to?'
'Uhm, sorry, repeat all that? I got distracted.'
Baljeet huffed, but Phineas and Ferb both chuckled. It was Ferb who ended up explaining. 'We were thinking the four of us could go to the amusement park tomorrow. Isabella has some kind of Fireside Girls meeting so she can't make it. It'd just be us guys.'
'Sounds good,' Buford stood and began to make his way downstairs. 'Just let me ask Mom.'
There was a chorus of 'okay!'
His mother was sprawled out on the couch when he approached and asked. She smiled and ruffled his hair, telling him it'd be good to get him out of the house for a while. He scowled and shoved her hand away from his hair, tromping back upstairs. 'Mom's okay with it,' he said into the phone.
'Sweet!' Phineas sounded excited. 'How about we all meet at Ferb and I's place at midday, have lunch here and then go?'
'That sounds good,' Baljeet replied. Buford grunted in agreement.
'MOM! I'M HOME FOR A VISIT!' Buford heard screeched into the phone, and he winced and held it away from his ear slightly.
'Oops, that's Candace,' Phineas chuckled, but he sounded kind of nervous. 'Better go before she skins us alive.'
'It's the pregnancy hormones,' Ferb muttered. 'See you guys tomorrow.'
'Bye!'
There was a click, and then it was just Baljeet on the other line. An awkward pause ensued, before Baljeet cleared his throat. 'You know, if you do not really want to go, you do not have to.'
Buford rolled his eyes, knowing the smaller boy wanted him to go desperately, but he knew that Buford wasn't great at handling their relationship in public. He was kind of touched at Baljeet's consideration. Part of him didn't want to go, but he hadn't been to the amusement park in ages. 'No worries, I'll go. I'll pick you up on my way to Phineas and Ferb's?'
'Okay!'
Buford could hear the smile in Baljeet's voice. 'I'll see you tomorrow, then, squirt.'
'Squirt? Really?' Baljeet faked an angry sigh. 'Will you ever stop with the demeaning nicknames?'
'Not a chance.'
Xoxoxo
The phone ringing woke him up around nine in the morning. He groped for it and pressed it to his ear, eyes still shut. 'Who the hell are you and why are you ringing me at this ungodly hour?' he snapped. He was grateful his mom was at work. If it'd been her day off, and the phone had woken her up, she'd be screaming her bloody head off.
'Buford,' Ferb's voice was as calm as ever. 'Sorry at the early hour, but Phineas and I can't make it today.'
'Why the hell not?' Buford sat up, rubbing his eyes tiredly.
'Candace wants us to go shopping with her,' Ferb sighed.
'Ferb, I really don't want to be in the car with her if she's driving,' Buford heard Phineas' voice whine in the background.
'I'll drive,' Ferb replied. 'Anyway, sorry about that Buford, although this will give you and Baljeet some alone time.'
'Great,' Buford replied in a flat voice.
'HURRY UP, YOU TWO! I WANT TO GET BREAKFAST ON THE WAY!'
'Jesus,' Buford grumbled, after rubbing at his sore ears from the screaming. 'Is that your sister? She hasn't gotten less high-strung at all, has she?'
'She has a bit,' Ferb sighed. 'But, you know, hormones.'
'Right...' Buford scratched his chin, wrinkling his nose at the stubble he found there. 'I'll see you at school, then.'
'Alright, see you later.'
Once Ferb had hung up, Buford called Baljeet to give him the news. He knew his nerd would already be up, even at this time of the morning, and hitting the books. After a few rings, there was a click and Baljeet's smooth accented voice answered. 'Hello, Baljeet speaking.'
'It's Buford,' he didn't bother pausing to make the customary greetings. 'Phineas and Ferb pulled out. You still up for this afternoon?'
'Sure,' Baljeet sounded less enthusiastic than he should, and it took a moment for Buford to realize the boy was distracted, probably solving complex equations at the same time as talking to him. 'Where should we meet up, then?'
'I can just walk to your's, and then we can walk to the park,' Buford offered.
'Okay,' there was a pause, and Buford could perfectly imagine Baljeet struggling to pull himself away from his homework. 'I will see you later?'
'Sure, bye, 'Jeet,' the bully grinned.
'Bye.'
Xoxoxo
So whatever this is? It better not be to hurt Baljeet. Because no matter how much of a friend you are, Buford, you will regret it.
Buford pressed a hand to his temple, letting out a sigh. It was late afternoon, almost dusk, and he and Baljeet were just coming back from the House of Horrors. Ferb's warning ran repeatedly through his head, becoming louder each time Baljeet held his hand, or gave him a kiss on the cheek.
Other than the annoying little voice in his head, he was having a good time. A great time, in fact. It was almost as if they were younger, and not caught up in this stupid facade. Of course, every time Baljeet did something couple-y, it ruined the fantasy.
He couldn't help but hold back. Baljeet was always the one to initiate the contact, always the one to take things further, even if that further was just a kiss on the lips rather than the cheek. He hated it, hated doing this to his best friend. If there was a God, he was so going to hell.
Baljeet pressed a quick kiss to his cheek and hurried away, claiming he needed to go to the bathroom. Buford was left standing in the middle of the amusement park, surrounded by people, and feeling unbearably alone.
He watched all the happy couples walk past him. One boy had his arm around the girl next to him, and she was smiling as she leaned into him. Another were holding hands and laughing about something. There was even two girls who were obviously a couple, cuddling on one of the park benches. He hated them all. Well, maybe not them, but what they reminded him of. Him using Baljeet. Screwing him over. Royally fucking up his life.
When he spotted two guys flirting next to the candy floss stand, he observed them idly, not really paying attention. He wondered what it'd be like if he didn't hold back, if he threw himself into the relationship- and the mission- with as much passion as the two guys who were now making out. Maybe he shouldn't hold back. Baljeet was already aware something was wrong- he'd been asking Buford if he was okay every five minutes through out the whole day. If he didn't hold back, maybe the nerd would stop badgering him.
Or maybe he should just take Baljeet home. It was getting late anyway, and he was starting to get into a bad mood with all this musing. Unless he lightened up, the rest of the day would be shitty.
Baljeet appeared in his line of vision, weaving his way through the crowd. Buford almost expected the kid to get knocked over, but he seemed to be an expert at avoiding getting hurt. Baljeet came to a stop in front of him, and just as Buford was about to suggest them going home, the Indian held out a small stuffed animal toy with a bright red face. 'It is for you,' he said softly.
Buford's face went red as well, and he accepted the bunny without comment. It was an sickeningly sweet gesture, and his heart began to pound. He put it down to the embarrassment of being given a toy by his boyfriend in public. He guessed Baljeet hadn't actually gone to the bathroom. When he raised an eyebrow at Baljeet, the boy shrugged and said, 'you seemed so down.'
He was hit, yet again, with the fact that this kid was the sweetest person he'd ever met. For once, he initiated the contact and kissed Baljeet's forehead quickly, hoping no one from school would see them. He felt another pang of guilt. That sweetness might be destroyed when he finished the mission. What a waste.
Forcing a smile to his lips, he began to walk, letting Baljeet fall into step beside him. 'One last ride before we head home, I think,' he pointed in front of them. 'How about the ferris wheel?'
'You do not like that sort of stuff, though, do you?' Baljeet grinned up at him. 'Lets go on the roller coaster!'
Buford was stunned into silence as Baljeet grabbed his hand and began to drag him over to the relatively short line for the roller coaster. Baljeet hated these sort of rides, and yet he was willing to go on them because Buford hated the ferris wheel. The guy checking their amusement park passes raised an eyebrow at Baljeet's height, but he took one glance at Buford and didn't comment.
Once they were seated in the back of the ride, Baljeet's excited face fell, and he looked absolutely terrified. Buford rolled his eyes and handed him the bunny for comfort. 'The ride hasn't even started yet,' he tsked softly. 'And this ride is a cake walk compared to the one Phineas and Ferb built years ago,' he paused and sighed at the terror on his boyfriend's face. 'I have a spare hand if you want something to hold onto.'
Baljeet looked at him, surprised. Buford rarely said anything romantic. A tiny smile tugged at his lips, but it soon faded once the ride started and their coaster climbed to the top. Baljeet bit his lower lip hard, and his hands, one gripping the bunny and one gripping Buford's, tightened. They stopped at the top, and the coaster teetered, seemingly mocking them. Buford reached over and pressed another kiss to Baljeet's forehead, figuring if he could help the mission and comfort Baljeet at the same time, well, two birds one stone. 'Thank you,' he muttered, a bit embarrassed. 'For the bunny, I mean.'
Baljeet opened his mouth to reply, but the coaster suddenly dropped and all that came out was one very high-pitched scream.
Xoxoxo
Baljeet wouldn't shut up, but Buford didn't really mind. They were walking home, only a street away from Baljeet's place, and holding hands. He wasn't really sure what the kid was talking about, but the accent always calmed him down and made him smile. It was kind of endearing, really.
In a heterosexual sense.
Buford shook his head to get those fond feelings for Baljeet out of his mind. He was determined that they were only friendly, like how you'd feel towards a best friend who'd just bought you something you'd always wanted. Nothing more than that. And feeling... friendly towards his boyfriend would only make the mission harder. Better to stamp those feelings out now.
Once at the door, Baljeet handed him back the bunny and wordlessly reached one hand up to yank Buford's head down. Their lips collided in a heated kiss, and for once Buford let it last more than a few seconds (over a last week or so, he'd been keeping it limited to chaste pecks). After a few moments, Baljeet pulled away. His deep brown eyes were wide, and his chest was moving with each erratic breath. And just like that, he turned and went into his house without even saying goodbye.
Well, the kiss might have counted as a goodbye.
The walk to his house was a complete daze. He couldn't help but remember each moment of the kiss, and his hand found it's way to his lips without him even realizing. His mother greeted him when he wandered inside, asking about his day and raising an eyebrow at the bunny. Buford, still not really thinking clearly, gave her a smile and replied, 'good.'
He climbed the stairs, throwing a goodnight over his shoulder. His mother called up the stairs, 'are you hungry? Anything?' but she got no reply. An affectionate smile came to her face and she shook her head.
Buford collapsed on his bed and thought back to his date with Baljeet, because that's what it really was. He couldn't kid himself. Ferb had probably set them up on purpose, and he chuckled at the idiocy of it all. The bunny was still in his hand, and he stroked it's furry head idly. A moment later and he was snoring.