“Have you lost your mind?” Jane laughs as I grab my bag ready to head out for our lunch date and I consider that question for a brief moment. Maybe I have, but I’m excited to meet someone else who knows Marshall, silly really.
“Let’s just get in the car, soon as we get there, the sooner it’ll be over” Pushing Jane towards the drivers side of the car, I get in quick before I change my mind, hurrying her along to start driving.
“I’m not happy, you promised me day drinking.” She’s scowling at me.
“Jane there will be day drinking, I’m yours today. I promised” I’m not going to break my promise just a quick detour then onto the drinking.
She scoffs before speaking again “No, you’ll take one look at the rapper and I’ll lose you. I’ll have to drink on my own”
Jesus Christ and I’d thought Marshall was needy, mind you Jane isn’t usually like this so I make a mental note to revisit this later, something must be going on.
We pull up outside the studio thirty minutes later and the security guy hiding out across the street approaches us, looking intimidating but soon smiling when he recognises us and waves us through the large gates.
“Are you coming in? That’s Denaun’s car isn’t it?” she looks away, tapping her nails impatiently on the steering wheel. “No! I’ll wait here” she’s quite abrupt with me and buries her face in her phone, ignoring me.
I’m greeted inside by a flustered looking Marshall in the reception area, there’s a lot of people milling around here today, a complete contrast to the last time I came here and it was just us two “Quick in here” I’m yanked by my wrist around a corner and into something that was left out of my tour from before and what appears to be a cleaning equipment closet “Er Hi” I greet him.
“What are you wearing?” he spits out at me. “Its a dress Marshall.”
” No it’s a fucking jacket, what are you wearing under it?”
“Fuck off Dad” I try to yell quietly at him, I like my dress, it’s a little short granted but it’s cute and I don’t get to dress up often.
He starts yanking at the belt around my waist, trying to pull it apart and I clutch at it trying to hold the two sides of my dress together whilst laughing uncontrollably.
“Fuck” he hisses out, eventually giving up trying to pull my dress apart. “Where are you going dressed like that?” He really does sound like a flustered dad.
“Jane and I are trying to go day drinking and you are holding us up.” I’m beginning to lose my cool with him.
“No fucking way, not dressed like that. I’ll get you some sweat pants to wear under it.” As amusing as this is I’d quite like to get my day drinking started so I push him away and reach for the door handle.
“How about a quickie?” he changes tactic, his hands roam up under the illegal dress and his palms feel rough and warm against my ass and I’m tempted for a second, then he grabs my hand and shoves it down his sweat pants, my hand coming in contact with his hot, firm dick I palm him lightly watching his eyes roll back in his head but I don’t make any other movement, I try to hold back the giggles as he opens one eye, glaring at me “For fuck sake Jas it’s a dick not a fucking flower, tug on it” and so I do, his yelp of surprised pain causes the giggling fit I’ve been holding in to finally escape.
“That was out of order, bitch” pulling my hand out of his sweat pants, I pat his dick lightly
“Why are you behaving like a horny teenager?” I recognise the look on his face that means he’s about to blow up but instead I’m saved by the door to the closet suddenly ripping open and a confused looking Denaun catches me trying to get Marshalls wandering hands up and out from where they’ve landed under my dress again.
“Afternoon Jasmin.” Squeaking out a greeting in return before stumbling out of the closet into the reception area “Hey Denaun, Jane is in the car waiting for me. Why don’t you go see her? Trying to kill two birds with one stone, if he’s weird about seeing her, then that’s what’s up with Jane.
He looks out in the direction of the car before he turns, mumbling something about confusing ass women and walking off slowly.
I need to get out of here and have a conversation with Jane.
“Marshall, hurry up.” A large voice booms out from the office opposite and Marshall swears behind me before following me out and dragging me unceremoniously behind him into the room.
“Now your in trouble” he smirks at me. What the fuck? I need to abort this mission right now. But it’s too late. I felt brave earlier now I’m feeling cowardly.
“Jasmin, this is Paul! Paul... Jasmin” holy shit he’s huge! he towers over me by at least three feet, maybe more. His height intimidates me but I stand my ground and politely shake the meaty fist waved in front of me. My dress feels really short now.
“Lovely to meet you Jasmin, I just needed to meet the woman who tamed the wild beast here” I laugh and Marshall bristles with anger beside me “I ain’t been tamed”
I shrug my shoulders “He’s a pussy cat really, purrs like a kitten, don’t you pet” Grinning at Marshall while he looks at me like he’s going to murder me.
“Em get out!” I feel Marshall annoyance as Paul orders him out of the office, fear creeps slowly up my spine in response. I sit down, quietly wishing the tension in the room would disappear its hurting my head. Marshall marches over and kisses me harshly forcing his tongue into my mouth, I feel like he’s marking his territory but he pulls away just as quickly, smiling and to my disbelief Marshall turns and walks out without a word, leaving me at the mercy of the big guy now sitting next to me. I smile sweetly at him.
“Could have gone my whole life without witnessing whatever that was” he muses smoothing down his shirt and jacket. All I can think is where the hell do you find clothes to fit an actual giant.
“No need to look so worried Jasmin, I don’t bite. I need to set my mind at rest. We probably have five minutes before his patience runs out and he’s back in here.” he seems still to be friendly enough towards me as I nod my head slowly, bracing myself.
“I came here to have Marshall get you to sign an NDA, as you can imagine my suggestion went down like a lead balloon” he grins, I know Marshall would have hit the roof on that one and weirdly enough I don’t feel as offended by Paul as I think I might have been. He’s looking out for a friend and colleague and its difficult to get mad at that.
“I can imagine! Paul my only knowledge of an NDA comes from reading Fifty shades of grey” we both laugh at my expense and I’m also strangely okay with that.
“But as a Doctor, I took an oath regarding patient confidentiality and its so ingrained in me that I would never think to break that or use it against anyone. Even now when I’m no longer practising medicine.”
I try to explain that selling Marshall out is not high on my list of priorities “Not even for money, if you needed it for your husband”
“No, not even then. Besides I don’t even know how I’d begin to explain any of this” Marshall has obviously been a chatty Cathy today and filled him in on Jack. I’m being surprisingly tolerant with these questions. My eyes scan Paul’s face slowly, this man has known my ‘not’ boyfriend Marshall for a long time. And I only see concern on his face.
“Your scars are visible, what happened to your husband is visible but Marshall, his scars aren’t visible. This conversation is just for us, you understand?” my hand grazes over the exposed scar peeking out of the top of my dress.
“Yes, of course”
“He’s not had the best of times with the important women in his life, don’t get me wrong he’s given as good as he gets at times but where the fairer sex are concerned he’s damaged too, his confidence, forget all that dick waving he does that’s his coping mechanism.” I know what I know about his mom and ex wife from the Internet, but he’s never mentioned them to me and I wouldn’t want to pry.
“I’m just surprised that you too aren’t together, yet he seems to trust you. He’s willing to get hurt in order to give you what you need” ouch, that stings a bit but the truth always hurts doesn’t it.
“He knows fully where he stands in my life, I’ve never lied to him Paul” he smiles. Maybe I’m not being kind to him at all, I do consider his feelings there’s just nothing I can do about it.
“What if someone else comes along and can give him everything he wants, he’ll want more from you eventually.”
“Then I’d let him go” my chest feels tight and I swallow the saliva building in my mouth, nausea washes over me at the thought of him being with someone else.
“Just like that? You’d give him up like he was nothing” Oh Paul, you dipshit. Such a typical response from a man.
“No, not nothing. He means a lot to me and it would hurt but if it was the best for him then I’d gladly do it” of course I would, I couldn’t hold him prisoner for the rest of our days if a woman came along and could truly give him what he needed.
“Jesus, your so fucking selfless” he sighs heavily. “You’re wrong about that Paul, I’m selfish not selfless. Since I met him my life has improved so much, more importantly Jack’s life has improved. Its like there’s light around me now instead of constant darkness. I don’t want to lose that” I’m honest there’s no point in being anything else.
Paul laughs “A receipt for the truck is what got me here today, couldn’t fathom why he spent so much money on a damn truck”
I can’t do anything other than smile about the damn truck “Its a lifeline that truck. The possibilities are endless and Jack loves it. Can move himself and his chair in and out and has given him back some independence. Its the most thoughtful gift I’ve ever been given. He’s got a good soul has Marshall, don’t ever tell him I said that though, the size of his ego is a constant source of amusement for me “
Paul laughs again, booming around the room and smacking his thick thigh “I see why he likes you so much Jasmin. I think I like you too”
I think I like this giant of a man too.
A commotion sounds outside and hurricane Marshall crashes back through the door “Times up Paul”
Paul and I glance at one another before laughing lightly. Marshall looks confused and angry.
“Jasmin do you need money?” what the fuck, I feel like he just turned on me. I stand, ready to walk out. “I’ve never asked Marshall for money and I never would Paul. I would rather sell everything I own then ask him for money. I sold my fucking horse and my car to get extra funds. We don’t need his money” I’m being rude and pointing at Marshall but I don’t care, how dare he be nice to me and then accuse me of being underhanded.
“No, Jasmin. You misunderstand me, I’m asking if you need help. I want to help out of my own pocket, not his” I feel faint, slightly foolish and sit back down quickly. Marshall steps forward but still says nothing “I’d like to help, maybe enough for the nurse so you can have another day off a week?”
I’m stunned.
“Thank you, its a really generous offer and I appreciate it so much. But we’re fine and we have our routine, I don’t want to disrupt that. My place is at home with Jack”
I realise after I say it, how that might sound to Marshall “His routine is important I mean” I whisper to the ground. Marshall says nothing, his good humour from before now gone. I’m such a bitch I just didn’t think. I don’t want to cause him any hurt.
“It was nice to meet you Paul” we both stand and he shakes my hand once more before walking out of the room giving us some space.
I pick his hand up in mine, lacing my fingers through his “I have to go, I’ll call you later” I say quietly. Marshall response is to pull his hand free and walk out saying “See ya”
I need several drinks.
Sometime later after several alcoholic drinks, I’m feeling brave enough to question Jane. “What’s up with you and Denaun?” she tuts saying she doesn’t want to talk about it.
“Have you guys split up?” I’m clearly not taking the hint here, I’m just feeling bad cos I hurt Marshall and he won’t answer my texts now.
“No” she says curtly “well apparently we were never together to split up” her arms cross across her chest. “Fucking prick.” She states firmly.
“What happened?”
“The fool asked me to be his girffriend” I’m lost now, I thought that would be a good thing.
“Well isn’t that a good thing Jane, I’m really confused now.”
“What would you know you’re in love with two men, you greedy whore.”
Wow she’s really upset and I’m going to let that comment slide for now because she looks immediately contrite and big tears splash down her face.
“We’ve been seeing each other for 8 months, I’ve thought of him as my boyfriend for months and apparently we weren’t on the same page. He was just dating me, I was a booty call” she cries louder. The alcohol we’d consumed fuelling her anger and tears.
“Jane its just words, he wants to be with you. He’s probably confused right now, you know men don’t think the same as us, their brains are too small.” She giggles “You think so?” She sniffs very unladylike.
“I know so, you silly girl.” She smiles, I think realising she’s been stressing over nothing really but he sure does seem to mean an awful lot to my friend.
Jane calls Denaun demanding he picks us up from the bar, which is great because I cannot fucking walk or stand up. My head spins while we wait. Jane dances to I don’t know what because there’s no music playing any more, she spins until she falls. Right at Denaun’s feet “For fuck sake, you two are out of it” he manages to pick a wriggly Jane up, throwing her unceremoniously over his shoulder “Nauny, I’m going to puke” she moans.
“Fucking hell, you don’t move” he points at me before rushing out with Jane.
My phone dings it’s Marshall saying good night I think, I’m not sure because I’m seeing double and it seems like a great time to invite him to Jane’s house. I mean that’s what I want to text but after sending five or six messages that makes no sense, he calls me. Shit now I’m in trouble.
“Hey” I’m trying to sound sober, “How drunk are you?” he sounds pissed off.
“Very, very, many Vodkas” I’m almost positive he laughs, my head falls forward, it weighs a ton to hold up now and I feel sleepy “Jasmin” he shouts, trying to get my attention and I squeal as I’m too suddenly picked up and thrown over Denaun’s shoulder “Drunken ass bitches” he murmurs. Marshall still on my phone I hold it giggling to Denaun ear “Marshall, it’s nanaun “
“Marshall has the cutest ears” I sing in Denaun’s ear. He snatches my phone out of my hand “Bro come take of your drunken ‘not’ girlfriend, I can’t handle two of them”
Smiling I pass out on the back seat of his car, the next thing I recall is standing under the hot water in the shower at Jane’s House. Marshall holding me up muttering about babysitting drunk women. Once out he leaves me standing and swaying wrapped in a towel and spying a hairdryer I laugh uncontrollably. A tik tok video I saw earlier swimming in front of my mind, so I pick it up and hop up on the dresser, my wet ass causing me slip off and giggling I jump back up and try again.
“What the fuck are you doing Jasmin?” Marshall eyes are on stalks as he watches me, legs wide open blow drying my pussy.
Heating up your dinner” I state.
*so I wrote this, tried to upload it and for some reason lost it all and it disappeared from word to. So with basic outline I had here is my second go at this chapter lol*
Wildest Dreams
By
Taylor Swift