(RPOV)
"Rosemarie Hathaway, are you even listening to me?!!!"
"Don't call me by either of those names because neither of them are who I am!!!
"Then pray tell, what name do you use?"
"I go by Rose, simply Rose. Absolutely no Hathaway, not ever."
"I don't care what name you go by. My question is, did you hear a word that I just said to you?!"
"Now why in the living hell would I be listening to you, out of all of the people in this world, why you? Just get your ass the hell out of my room Janine!! I don't want nor do I need you here, or anywhere else that is anywhere within a hundred million miles near me for that matter."
"Like I have ever given a crap what you want or need!! You don't matter enough, to anyone, for me, or anyone else, to care anything whatsoever about you you little blood whore!!!"
With just a few thoughtless and careless words she had just hurt me more than I had ever been hurt before by anyone. Well, anyone except for Dimitri of course. He has always been able to hurt me more and cut me deeper than anyone else in the whole entire fucking world. Including Janine Hathaway, shockingly enough.
All of which is an accomplishment in and of itself considering how much she has hurt me over my lifetime. Ninety-nine point nine percent of the time without even being present. Hell, without even being in the same fucking hemisphere.
I guess that old saying is true, 'those you love the most CAN hurt you the worst.'
And since I love Dimitri more than life itself, more than anyone that I have ever even known. That means that he can hurt me worse than anyone and everyone else in the whole entire world. And he had hurt me so much, that if the wounds had been physical, then they would have killed me a long, long long time ago.
But it was more than obvious, at least it is to me, that he just didn't care. All he could see and think about was his precious duty to the fucking moroi. And spending his off duty time with that scar faced bitch Natasha Ozera.
I would call her a man stealing whore, but apparently, he had never really been mine to steal to begin with. So she couldn't exactly steal someone who was running headfirst right to her with arms and eyes wide fucking open.
How fucking dare he to tell me that we should deny ourselves any-fucking-thing? When he sooo obviously wasn't denying himself from fucking that bitch, Tasha 'slut and whore' Ozera.
"How dare you speak to your mother that way!!"
"I didn't!!" I growled and snarled at her, which visibly shocked her, just as my words probably had as well.
"I spoke to YOU that way, and you are most definitely NOT my fucking mother, you have never been my fucking mother!!! And you never fucking will be my mother!!! Alberta is and always has been my mother!!! And she always will be!!! You were just a walking, talking, screaming, hateful, vile, vicious, viperous, poisonous and malicious incubator and that is all that you will ever be to me!!!"
"R..."
"Shut the fuck up and get the hell out of my room!!! Don't make me have to say it again bitch." Like hell I would give her the respect, that she soooo doesn't deserve, by calling her ass a fucking guardian.
"How dare..."
I stood up from where I had been sitting, nonchalantly but broken heartedly, on my bed and stalked my way towards her. She was not going to try to intimidate me anymore, I was far too fucking hurt and angry to even allow her to try.
I had tried taking the high road by asking her nicely to leave, but apparently that wasn't working. She was much too immature to act like an adult. So since she wouldn't listen when I asked her nicely to leave, I will MAKE her leave. No matter what it takes. And if she still wouldn't listen to me, then I will make her leave... the hard way. The very hard. Fucking. Way. If I have my choice about it that is.
Once I was in her face I looked down into her eyes since she was almost a full half a foot shorter than me. And said something to her that I had been wanting to say to her for years and years and years.
"Do you actually think that I give a shit about what you think about me? Do you really think that I can stand the fucking sight of you? Do you really think that I truly give a shit about you or anything that you have to say?"
Looking up into my eyes she said, "I am your mother, and you have to do as I tell you to. You have to respect me."
I scoffed. "Bitch, please. As I said, you are not, have not ever been and will not ever be my mother. And respect has to be earned, at least mine does, I don't just stand here doling it out for free. And you have not ever done anything to earn my respect. And just so you know for sure, absolutely nothing about you matters to me. You may be a good guardian, according to some very stupid people, but you are a terrible person and a fucking pathetic and atrocious excuse for a mother. Now, would you like for me to throw your ass out of my room myself? Or would you like for me to call for some of the guardians and have them come here and then get them to throw your sorry, completely pathetic and useless ass out?!! Could your precious reputation with the other guardians and novice's around the world hold up to that kind of disgrace, humiliation and dishonorment?!!!" I asked angrily but quietly.
All she could see was what I wanted her to see, and I was showing her nothing but a calm passive façade. One that was far too quiet, passive and calm to actually be that way. And if she had ever known me, or anything whatsoever about me, then she would have known that. She would have been able to see that, but since she didn't and never has known me, she couldn't see it.
If she had ever truly known me, she would have known that it was times like this that I was at my most dangerous and deadly. But she didn't know any of that either, simply because she hasn't ever really known anything whatsoever about me. She'd never even tried to know me. She'd only ever tried to distance herself from me; physically, mentally and emotionally. And she had done such a stellar job at it too, I must say.
She had done such an amazing job at it that I didn't give a shit about her or anything whatsoever to do with her anymore. Anything that I had ever felt for her, aside from hatred, disgust and disdain had shriveled up and died many many many years ago.
I know that I had a hard look on my face, as I stared her down, because I could feel it. But I was fucking pissed, not to mention badly even viciously hurt. And she was so oblivious to me, my needs and my feelings that she couldn't even tell. Or I guess I could just say that she just didn't and never has cared. She had after all just said that she hadn't ever cared about what I wanted or needed. So why should I care anything whatsoever about her or what she needs and wants? Why would I ever bother to put myself to the trouble of giving a single shit about her? When it is sooo obvious that she does not and has not ever given one about me.
Although she had never needed to tell me outright that she had never cared anything whatsoever about me because I had always known it. I wasn't stupid, regardless of what she and several others throughout our world thought about me, I was actually very smart. Smarter than ninety-eight percent of the people that I had ever met thought that I was. Or that they were. Hell, for some unknown reason, if people think that you are stupid, then they are much more willing and likely to say just about anything around you. That had been proven to me on more than one occasion over the years. Especially where the royals are concerned. They didn't think that anyone but them had a brain anywhere in or around their damn heads. So around anyone else they didn't care what they said or how they acted. Which has proved very useful to all of us over the years. Especially to me.
"If you do either of those things then I will disown you." She actually had the fucking nerve to threaten me with a look of triumph on her face.
I almost laughed in the bitch's face, this fucking bitch actually thought that she had me there, that she had called my 'bluff' and won. The only thing about that was the fact that I wasn't bluffing, not in the slightest. I had been taught that I didn't ever have to bluff, I could do anything that I set my mind to. That I had the power in every type of situation. And I had set my mind to getting this bitch the fuck out of my room and the fucking hell away from me forever. Stupid bitch, stupid stupid stupid fucking bitch. I almost felt sorry for her, because she had no idea who I truly was or what I could truly do to her if I really wanted to. As I said, I almost felt sorry for her... almost... but not quiet.
I gave a mixture of a mirthless chuckle and a scoff before I made my retort to her so called 'threat'. "You gave me away physically and legally the day that you abandoned me here at the academy before I even turned five fucking years old. So you go right ahead and 'disown' me, it wouldn't be a damn bit different to what you have already done to me Janine."
She looked shocked at my words. "How did..."
"Ohhh, how did I know that you did that?"
She nodded.
"I have known since I was eight fucking years old!!"
"But how?"
"Janine, I realize that you aren't that smart, that you never have been, but thanks to you I have grown up on this campus. Which means that there is not one single part of it that I don't know like the back of my own fucking hand. Not even the secret tunnels underneath the entire campus all the way out to the ward lines, not the secret passageways that run throughout and interconnect all of the buildings of this campus. Not the old forgotten watch post cabins out along the ward lines that also connect to the tunnels, not the cell blocks, not the entire basement levels, not the attics, as well as the ventilation, heating and air systems. All of which means that it wasn't at all difficult for me to get a hold of my personal file. And make a copy of it so that I could study it at length whenever I damn well pleased."
"So you have known where I was and how to get in touch with me all these years?"
I scoffed at her look of shock. "Of course."
"But you never tried to contact me."
"Why in the livinghell would I?! When you have made it more than abundantly clear, tome and everyone else in our world, that you wanted absolutely nothingwhatsoever to do with me. When you abandoned me here without even so much as abackwards glace or another thought. You also made it quite clear that you neverwanted me or wanted me around you. So, once again, I ask you why in the livinghell would I ever waste amoment of my time or a speck of my energy trying to force you to give a shitabout me or what happens to me? Whywould I ever care about you, what happens to you or about anything concerningyou at all?"