I woke up feeling like total shit. After Darren had left, I twisted myself back into the silk sheets, but the sound of his ownership kept ringing in my ears.
Even in death, you will always belong to me.
At least if he were dead, I could finally enjoy a life of celibacy.
After twisting and turning for several hours, wondering where he was and who he was killing, I finally gave up and went for a shower. As I washed, I contemplated the idea of escape if Darren were ever killed. I knew he lived a dangerous life, one where death was constantly knocking at his door, but he probably had that bitch in his pocket, too. I'd really only had a glimpse of what Darren was capable of, how cruel he could be, and I knew eventually the rest of that veil would fall, and I'd see the demon I knew he was. Yet I wanted to cling to the man—the one who could be tender and caring, and the one who could make my body erupt with volcanic sexual bliss. I'd rather deal with him than the demanding bloodthirsty crime lord any day.
Listening to him mention that his brother was about to have a baby with his wife weirded me out. The idea of bringing a child into this life sickened me. This was no place for something so innocent. But what was even more unsettling was the fact that Darren was going to be an uncle. To think of him as any kind of family man felt out of place and unrealistic. I didn't exactly see him as the nurturing loving type, but hey, Darren was full of surprises.
After my shower and breakfast, Holly and I went jogging on the beach in our bare feet. The water felt nice as it splashed against my legs, keeping me cool as I ran. I was quiet, trapped in my thoughts, while we kept a good, even pace, and even gave Hank and Blondie some good exercise as they kept up behind us. We circled the entire island, which I found was at least fifteen miles around. Holly and I had run along the beach before, even took a jog with Darren a few times, but I'd never been able to circle the entire island until now. When we headed back to the house, we walked waist deep in the water, giving my core and thighs a nice run for their money. By the time we made it to the front door, my feet were killing me from lack of support. In the end, it was worth it to get to run in the water.
After a quick lunch, Holly and I went for a walk through the island, with proper shoes this time, and I was content on trying to forget Darren's words. It was Thanks-fucking-giving, and that asshole had the nerve to tell me the day before that I would never see my family again and to bring them up would mean their deaths. Stupid motherfucker.
Today was supposed to be the day of giving thanks, of remembering everything you had to be grateful for. Did I even have anything to be grateful for? To be thankful for? I was alive, technically, but should I even be thankful for that? Some lives were simply not worth living, but I couldn't necessarily say that about my own. At least I wasn't a drug dependent sex slave in a Mexican brothel... yet.
Eventually, we came across the place where I remembered hiding the branch I had used as a makeshift bo the day I accidentally hit Holly in the face so many weeks ago. It was still right where I left it. As Holly and I walked, I nonchalantly picked it up and started twirling it in my hands. Holly regarded me curiously as she watched me play.
"Where did you learn to do that?" she asked me.
"Bōjutsu training," I replied. "The only weapon I ever mastered."
"That's awesome. Show me!" Holly beamed, her eyes twinkling with excitement.
I looked back at my guards who were about fifty feet behind us, wondering if they would object. After a few seconds, I finally decided fuck it.
"Step back then," I said, and Holly immediately obliged, giddy like a five-year-old.
Taking my time, I warmed up with some figure eights, twirling the bo over my arms and across my body. The motion felt good, almost as if I were stretching muscles I had forgotten about. Once I'd warmed up, I practiced a few tricks, spinning the bo above my head over my open palm before twirling it behind my back, over my leg, and around my neck and torso. Every move was flawless, calculated, and precise. I hadn't lost my touch after all.
When I was comfortable and had a good grounding, I performed an old form I used to compete with, winning me several first places. My movements were still just as sharp and strong, though I lacked my usual speed from lack of training. All my kicks and jumps and punches came out well enough to obviously impress the shit out of Holly. When I was done and out of breath, Holly jumped up and down like a little kid, which in turn, made me smile. It was nice to see someone happy with me for my talents.
"Oh, my God, that was so freaking cool! You're amazing, Jaden! Darren has no idea how lucky he is to have you."
"Thanks," I said, trying to hide my smile.
"Miss Jaden," Hank called. Holly and I both looked over at him. "Put the stick down, please."
I sighed in defeat. And there it was—my reminder.
"What do you mean, 'put it down'?" Holly said, suddenly angry. "Didn't you see what she just did? She's incredible!"
"That is beside the point. Mr. Davis does not want her to get hurt."
Holly furrowed her brows in disbelief.
"Holly, it's okay. Don't worry about—" I tried, but she continued on, actually cutting me off.
"Get hurt? She's obviously very capable of handling herself."
"We have our orders. Mind your own," Hank said sternly. "Miss Jaden, please." He nodded.
Without further argument, I dropped my makeshift bo to the ground and pulled Holly away to continue our walk. She folded her arms, a frown line immediately forming on her forehead as she walked with me, clearly upset by our little exchange.
After a while, Holly and I took a break and sat down, leaning our backs against the palm trees. At least, it was a beautiful day. The sun was out in full force while an easy breeze blew through my hair from the ocean. At moments like this, I found myself actually able to relax and find a small moment of peace.
Hank and Blondie stood by about a hundred feet away, actually giving Holly and me some privacy for once. Weird. Holly eyed them carefully, and I could see the wheels turning in her head. She had been on the island just a few weeks, but she was already starting to pick up on the strange ways of my life and this island.
"They follow you everywhere," she said quietly as she stared at them. "Why?"
"They're supposed to watch over me," I replied.
"Why do you need to be watched, Jaden?"
And here comes the digging. Fuck.
"Because I'm in recovery, and Darren wants to make sure I'm always cared for."
"Jaden, you've recovered. Fully."
I shrugged, trying to blow off her concern, but my heart was beginning to pound with unease. If Darren thought for even a second that Holly was on to him, she wouldn't make it off this island alive, and I would not see her end up like the gardener.
"I know, but Darren can be overly cautious sometimes," I said casually with a shrug. I didn't want to give her the idea that I was anything but unsurprised by Darren's behavior.
Holly folded her arms. "You and he seem to have a strange relationship," she stated.
I raised my brow in surprise. "That's awfully judgmental of you."
"Well, he's never around to spend time with you, yet your life seems controlled in almost every way. I mean, it's friggin Thanksgiving, and he's not even here to celebrate with you."
"It's just a stupid holiday, Holly. He has more important things to do," I murmured.
"Stupid holiday?! More important things to do?!" Holly shrieked in shock. "Jaden, this stupid holiday is about giving thanks for the things you have and to appreciate what surrounds you. How can he not see that it's an important day to spend with the people he cares about the most?"
I sighed in irritation, pinching the bridge of my nose to get myself together. Here I was, trying to defend Darren to protect Holly, and it was the stupidest fucking argument I've ever had.
"I don't know what to tell you, Holly. You're welcome to voice your concerns to him, but I imagine they will fall on deaf ears. He's a very busy man."
A flash of red fell over Holly's face as she blew the air out of her cheeks in frustration. It almost made me laugh.
"So he's too busy to care about you, is that it? You'll accept his name on your own skin, and then sit around waiting for him like some kind of doormat?"
I raised an eyebrow at her. "Careful, Holly. You wouldn't want this doormat to punch you in the face on purpose."
Holly huffed and shook her head, waving off my threat. "I just don't get it. He's always so stern and intense whenever I've seen him, and every time you come back from finally spending time with him, you seem different."
I furrowed my brows. That was too specific of an observation from her; to know she was paying that much attention to me made me uncomfortable.
"Different how?"
"Sad different. Defeated almost."
Fuck.
"I mean, from the way it seems, it's like you don't even like him."
Double fuck!
"And the choker around your neck that you never seem to stop fingering never leaves your throat. Why is that, Jaden?"
I hadn't even realized my fingers were grazing along the smooth metal around my throat. I'd caught myself doing it once or twice, but apparently, it was a lot more than I thought. I didn't even know why I played with it.
I shrugged again. "It was a gift from Darren. I like wearing it."
Liar.
"Right. How did you even meet him anyway?"
I felt my stomach drop. Shit, I never thought I was ever going to have to come up with a bullshit story about my life with Darren. I needed to put Holly in her place and move past this.
"Ya know what? My relationship with Darren is none of your business so stop pushing. He's a busy man and doesn't always have time for me. I understand that, so you need to be, too. You're here to help me get back on my feet, not judge my life. Now, can we move on, please?"
Holly sighed in defeat. "I just wished he treated you better is all. He's a little scary sometimes, you know."
"Don't worry about him. He's mine to deal with, not you. You just focus on me."
"Okay, Jaden. Whatever you say."
And let's keep it that way. For her sake.
****
When Holly and I got back to the house, we were both instructed to clean up for dinner. Confusion swept over our faces as Holly never had dinner with me; it was only ever reserved for Darren. But we didn't argue.
When I was clean and dressed, Hank and Blondie escorted me down the hall toward the dining room, where, upon my arrival, I was wide-eyed and shocked. Holly was sitting at the table, across from my usual seat, smiling like crazy. But it wasn't just her presence that had me shocked. It was what was displayed all over the table.
Thanksgiving dinner.
There were bowls of mashed potatoes, stuffing, cranberry sauce, salad, vegetables, and even green bean casserole, plates of several different styles of dinner rolls, and sitting in the center of the table was a delicious looking already carved monster of a turkey.
"Hi, Jaden!" Holly waved from across the room. "Happy Thanksgiving."
"Wow." I gasped as I walked over to the table. "Did you know about this?"
"Nope, not a clue," she said. "Come on, sit down!"
I took my seat across from Holly. Even though Darren said he would be gone for a few days, I left Darren's seat at the head of the table open, just in case he randomly showed up,.
Holly and I quickly loaded up our plates with just about everything and even went back for seconds. We sipped on chilled white wine and enjoyed pumpkin pie with vanilla ice cream for dessert. It was, without a doubt, the best dinner I had ever had in my captivity. By the time we were done, I was so full I could barely move. Darren would have been very happy with my appetite for once. So much was still left, I'd hoped we could enjoy the leftovers for the next few days.
After dinner, we retired to the entertainment room and watched all the Thanksgiving Day parades from all over the country. I loved the parades, but they only made me think of family—the one thing I was never supposed to mention or probably even think of ever again. In a way, Darren was right, though not for the same reasons. I needed to forget them so I could focus on the task at hand, but no matter how many times I've told myself that, the memories always seem to slip through the cracks.
My dad had always found pride in carving the turkey when my family would get together for holidays, even though he was terrible at it. You'd think he had cut the damn thing with a hatchet or something. Sometimes, my brothers would hand him one right when he was about to get started just for laughs, and then one year, he finally indulged. Thankfully, my mom was the pro in the family when it came to barbecuing it. God, those were the best.
Jason and I were usually always late because of his job, but we always managed to witness my father's hack job of the poor bird. Jason worked at a tank plant as the man responsible for making sure the cannons went boom. Ever since he was a little kid, he loved to blow shit up. His hands had small scars caused by burn marks from handling fireworks and firecrackers back when he was young and dumb. He'd since then grown into an explosives expert. I should know. Bastard blew my world up when I met him, and now, another one had turned it to ash.
Fuck, I missed my family.
I fucking missed my best friend, too. On Black Friday, she and I would skip the stupid crowds and curl up on my couch to drink our weight in wine and watch all the Home Alone movies. It was another holiday tradition for us. Fuck, I missed that bitch.
"You okay, Jaden? You're crying," said Holly softly, as she looked over at me, her face washed with concern.
Shaking myself from my thoughts, I quickly wiped my face with my hands to find my cheeks were, in fact, wet.
"Shit, sorry," I mumbled. "I'm fine, I just... I just miss them."
Holly rubbed my arm in an attempt to comfort me, a sad look on her face.
"I'm sorry, Jaden. I wish things were different, but we can't change the past, unfortunately."
"I know."
But I can sure as fuck change my future.
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