𝙸𝚗𝚜𝚙𝚒𝚛𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚍𝚊𝚢: 𝚂𝚎𝚕𝚏 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚒𝚜𝚗'𝚝 𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚏𝚒𝚜𝚑, 𝚒𝚝'𝚜 𝚒𝚖𝚙𝚘𝚛𝚝𝚊𝚗𝚝.
Still huddled on the floor, thinking about what happened to me in the past, why I had head trauma and, consequently, lost my memory, I decided to call Mr. Lakshminathan, after all, he and Mrs. Lakshminathan should know that I remembered.
"Hi Sivaangi, did something happens, darling," Mr. Lakshminathan asked attending the call.
"Yes, is Mrs. Lakshminathan there with you," I asked getting up, drying my tears with the palm of my hand putting the phone on speaker, and changing clothes. I wore a black and white striped crop top with black pants and a pink cardigan. In the end, I wore white sneakers.
My outfit:
"Yes, she is, but what happened," Mr. Lakshminathan asked concerned.
"Wait for me, uncle. I'm already on my way, I need to talk to both of you," I said and I hung up without waiting for an answer from him.
"How are you, dear? Your face is all swollen. What happened," Uncle asked. I was at Ashwin's family house, sitting on the couch with my head on Uncle'slap, while Aunty brought me a cup of tea to calm my nerves. Since I arrived, she kept asking me questions, which made me realize that she was really worried about me, while Uncle said nothing, and just stroked my hair.
"Yes, I'm fine," I confessed staring at them, "Excuse me if I'm disturbing you, coming to your house at this time of night, but I needed to get this anguish out of my chest and don't worry. I will also talk to my parents."
"It's okay darling, consider this as your home. But we are seriously concerned about you," Uncle spoke up, and I sighed and got up from his lap and settled myself on the sofa.
"I remembered what happened to me," I confessed in a low voice, "I remembered how I lost my memory." I looked at the faces of the two whose skin color had turned pale.
"You remember," Aunty asked sitting beside me.
"I needed to tell someone that my memory was getting back. I wanted to calm myself down, and didn't want to react in a bad way," I said.
"All right," Aunty said and she looked at Uncle, perhaps happy to know that I had reacted in the best possible way to this situation.
"And are you going to talk to your husband, Ashwin about it," Aunty asked excitedly and my joy was suddenly disappeared by hearing that name?
"Don't say his name," I said pouting.
"Why? What happened between you," Uncle asked concerned.
"Nothing, you guys don't have to worry. We have already decided what we want for both of us," I said putting my head on Aunty's shoulder.
"And what would it be," Aunty asked stroking my hair.
"Each takes care of their life without the other. We will file a divorce, and we will not talk to each other anymore," I comment already feeling the tears welling up in my eyes and cry forming a lump in my throat.
"And are you ok with this decision," Aunty asked worried, just as Uncle appeared to be.
"It is clear," I laughed quietly, fighting tears, "Ashwin only thinks about his well-being. I have no space in his life, just as he had none in mine."
"It is still 8:00 in the night, and I will go to my parents' house, and tell them I remembered. I think they will be happy that I remembered, after all, right," I questions but I haven't been answered. Both Uncle and Aunty looked at me, disappointed, but I didn't care, he was the one who gave up first. Seeing that I became a nuisance for both of them, I turned my back and went directly to the door, being stopped by Aunty's voice.
"Why are you giving up on him," Aunty asked desperately.
"Because he gave up first. He didn't think about the consequences of his actions. I got tired of convincing him so much," I said not looking at them, "I got tired of humiliating myself trying to make him realize how much I love him and care about his health. He cheated me," I said controlling my tears, "Sorry, I have to go, take care."
Upon arriving at my house and telling Amma and Appa everything, seeing that they both were worried about me, seeing their hope, because I was remembering, made me realize how unfair I was with them two days ago. But the good thing was that I had fixed everything, at least with them. They only mattered to me. After Amma and Appa distracted me, after all, they noticed something wrong in my mood, technically I begged to be able to go to my room and lie down.
I lay on my bed and took a deep breath. I don't know what I would do now. I still have to talk with my boss and apologize for him not being more efficient to continue the treatment. But I don't want to and I won't even think about it now. The only thing I will think about now is to find a way to do justice to all the abuse Arjun put me through. I closed my eyes, but I couldn't sleep. The last memory still tormented me. Even though I didn't want to admit it, Arjun took some of the peace out of me a few days ago, but he made me realize how wrong I was to spend my time and give myself up to something that had no future.
Ashwin never cared about me. If I ever believed that, I wouldn't have been in this situation right now. My eyes filled with water and I had to take a deep breath again to keep from sniffling. I wanted to be wrong. I really thought I could change him, but in the end, he hurt me in a way that I didn't know was possible, and at that moment I cried. I cried softly, I cried with hatred for him for making me go through this.
"Are you sure you took everything," my boss asked me while I analyzed all my files?
"Yes," I smiled, "And thank you for understanding and not criticizing me. I am very grateful for you." I said making him smile.
"Don't worry, Sivaangi, it's okay. You're going back to the Fresh Start Clinic, aren't you," he asked.
"Of course, it's the best decision to make," I said, realizing that silence had been installed. My boss wanted to tell me something but maybe he is afraid of my reactions. But what really bothers me is knowing it's about Ashwin and I really don't want to talk about him.
"Ashwin will be out tonight," he revealed staring at me. I opened my eyes wide and opened my mouth in amazement. It can only be a joke.
"What?! He cannot leave, he's still dangerous," I exclaimed, "You can't let him out of here. Ashwin is going to do something bad to someone after leaving the asylum! He will never change and you are stupid to give him a vote of confidence."
"I can't do anything, Sivaangi," he said clearly startled by my reactions, "It is the board that decides."
"But he ran away once," I said.
"Yes, but then he didn't do it again and he hasn't hurt anyone since that day," he added making me roll my eyes.
"All right, the problem is no longer mine," I said in a short and thick voice but I immediately regretted it.
"Sorry, I shouldn't take it out on you," I said.
"Isn't the day a good day," he asked me sarcastically.
"You can not imagine how much," I said making him laugh softly, which made me happy, in a way.
"I'll be going, I have more things to solve," I said saying goodbye to him and going right after that to the office to pick up my other things. I wouldn't work here anymore, so they wouldn't need anything about me either. To my bad luck, the passage that gave exclusive access to my room was forbidden, so I had to deviate from the path that passed through Ashwin's room. When I reached the hall, I saw the same security guards as always. Everyone gave me half a smile. They seemed to be calm. I wish I was also.
I passed them, but when I came face to face with that door, something made me want to stop because he still hadn't left. The reality fell before me and I realized I would be stupid if I went through that door. I don't want to know about him anymore, just as he doesn't want to know about me. We were not made to be couples. He's not capable of loving anyone and if I don't get rid of that loving feeling for him as soon as possible, I'll end up getting hurt even more. I went to the end of the corridor, sighing relief when I saw the secretary. I want to get out of the asylum as soon as possible.
After passing through the doors of the Waverly Hills, I breathed a sigh of relief to take that weight off me, but soon I was tortured to see that my car was in the same place that I had, when I saw Ashwin spying on me for the first time, when we started consultations. I scolded myself for thinking about that idiot. He could come home and get along with his parents, or he could kill again. I don't want to care about that, after all, he didn't mind discarding me whenever he wanted.
As I stood in front of my car, I felt his gaze on me. I knew it was him. I knew he was staring at me. Unfortunately, I knew. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. But I didn't bother to look back at him. I no longer deserved a crying session to see that he still affects me. I started the car and drove home as fast as possible. Nothing better than showering and watching TV at a time like this.
The next day to my surprise, Mr. Lakshminathan's uncle knocked on my door right after I had my breakfast, full of pictures of us, but not like the ones Ashwin showed me, but pictures of us during our wedding.
"What are you doing here, uncle? Showing me more pictures. You don't need your son to show me enough," I said thick enough.
"No, Sivaangi, darling. These pictures your mother asked me to give you. Do whatever you want with them," he said and I took the photographs from him but I didn't look away from his face.
"You are being very immature in making that decision," he said suddenly.
"What? Get away from him, for simply not wanting to be in the middle of so much confusion that he left me? I know what I'm doing. Thank you very much," I said and I was more nervous than Uncle was still looking at me.
"Don't be so ungrateful, Sivaangi, he can't have been that hard on you," he said and my nerves were on the edge, all of a sudden, they burst into tears again, and soon he saw that my eyes were watery, making him sigh.
"What did Ashwin do to you," he asked.
"Don't say his name please," I whispered weakly, "I don't want to know more about him. It'd only been a day, but if he was selfish enough to kick me out of his life without any explanation, then I don't want to know about him anymore."
"You know Arjun wants this, don't you," he increased his tone of voice, "You know he wants to separate you guys since the time he fell in love with you." I nodded trying to control the lump in my throat.
"Then why do you let him do it," he asked me tiredly.
"Because Ashwin gave up first," I raised my head to face him, "He told me himself. At that moment my feeling were all mixed up, and I was tired of convincing. And, if he doesn't want to see me, I won't fight it either please, I already decided. I'm going to get back with my life from what it was before all of this."
"Are you sure," he asked and I just agreed.
"I hope you know what you're doing because when you regret it, it will be too late," he said as he looked at me, waiting for a confession from me, but I said nothing.
Then he sighed and left, leaving me standing in the middle of my room with all of my wedding pictures and all my anguish. And it was at that moment that I screamed, screamed with all my strength to expel what was choking me. I screamed for knowing that both uncle and aunty were disappointed in me, and also for remembering that I still love and care about Ashwin, even though I knew he didn't feel the same way and knowing that I should hate him, but I don't and I can't.
Here's the next chapter. Ignore the typos and grammar mistakes. Comment down below what you think about this chapter? What do you think about Sivaangi giving up on Ashwin? What do you think Ashwin is going to do after he is released from the asylum? I know already said this last chapter but I have to thank you guys again for the fifty-five followers. I thought both of my stories wouldn't reach that high, and I would merely just get 10 reads and 5 followers or something, but you guys gave me huge support, and I couldn't be more thankful. Gratitude is the only word I can use to describe my feeling right now. Ok, I'm going to stop rambling and wrap up my note. And, sorry if I couldn't meet your expectation for this chapter but I will try my best for the next chapter. Feel free to comment on suggestions and feedbacks. Big hugs and kisses to all my readers and voters. Love you guys so much!!