a flower can blossom in winter
I arrived in New York with a question to myself that goes: how will I survive life as a beautiful young adult?
At first, I incessantly joked around about how I was only here to find someone special. But boy, did I know what to joke about, 'cause here I was... being the happiest I had ever been.
Focusing more on having to survive life by becoming successful in all aspects, I had crossed out the idea that it was okay to only live it because of the voices of the cruel world that hollered something entirely different.
I was happy before, but something lacked and that made me kept on searching places for that one intangible thing I hadn't even got any idea of. But being born into privilege, I was grateful to set foot in Manhattan—a borough that took the form of a missing piece in my life's intricate puzzle.
This had been the longest time I was living far from the norm that the culture back home had instilled in us. If I didn't leave Manila, people, who weren't a family, would straight-up say that there's no money in flowers—that floristry wasn't a real job. Closing my eyes and dared not peek; those were the same faces who'd buy flowers as gifts for every occasion.
And on the other side of the spectrum, you'd come across the people who would say that people with privilege weren't built to feel not a single ounce of failure, misery, and pressure because of the outdated reasoning that money could magically solve anything when it actually couldn't.
If money could buy someone a brand-new brain to replace an overthinkingone, a brand-new skin to accommodate brand-new feelings, brand-new eyes toreplace a dull vision with colours, a brand-new heart to replace bruised one,and a brand-new dream to replace a broken soul—only then I'd be committed tothink that when there's money, there's new life.
I mean. . . I wasn't that devastated with my life. But I also wasn't in a clear headspace. Two different things could be quite kindred. You know?
And today that I was biking my way around the city to go to the flower shop, the haze in my head was slowly clearing up. Great thing that flowers, a chameleon, biking, and the city made it easier for me.
"I'm in New York, I work in a flower shop, got a sixty-year-old retired maiden and a cat chameleon with an attitude as my best friends, and a dreamy guy who'd treat me to a burger at a Michelin-starred restaurant. And... well? I am definitely living the life!" I exhaled with a complacent smile.
Kahit mas lumala ang foot traffic dahil sa holidays, dinama ko pa rin ang little biking moment ko, continuing as the lead in my own chick flick blockbuster movie. That when the camera's pulled closer to the sky, funky music would start, and I'd be the only distinct laid-back civilian who was pedaling her bike in messy trails en route to Daily Bloom.
It was our last day of work this year. I couldn't wait to just enjoy the holidays in the city!
Yeah, but first... close and secure the shop.
"Hey. Uncle Jer left something for you yesternight. Iniwan ko sa workbench sa cold room. You might want to check it out," said Julio when I entered our closed flower shop.
"Yeah, sure. I'll check it." I nodded. "But where's Auntie?"
"Gone to Uncle Benj's house. Why?"
"No reason." I shrugged. Tinanggal ko ang strap ng bag ko at saka pumasok sa cold room. When the door opened, it instantly revealed a matte-black paper bag with a prestige logo and a white flower that exuded luxury all over the place.
I hooked the paper bag on my hand and marched back outside to glare at Julio. Poor, confused, and innocent Julio, he watched me paraded past him to set war across the street.
Jerry was there, cleaning one portion of a countertop like he always did. Perfect! I ended my parade beside him and set the black luxury on the surface he had just cleaned.
"Why are you giving me a Chanel?" I asked incredulously. "What's... what's this?"
Jerry's brows perched in confusion. Oh, so much innocence belonged to every element of his face.
"A... Christmas... gift?" he slowly answered with utmost caution, his eyes tried to make a run for it.
"Yeah, right." I rolled my eyes. "This shit's expensive. You should've invested the money to your insulin—wait... are you diabetic?"
"I'm not."
"'Kay. Good for you, buddy. But still!" I shot him a reprimanding look like I was the one older here.
"Are you not informed? I'm rich," he replied in a deadpan voice that I couldn't calculate if he was serious.
"Fine, whatever." Napabuntonghininga na lang ako. "I'll accept this only because you aren't diabetic, and because I appreciate you taking time to shop for your favorite person—"
"Again, not my favorite."
"—in New York City. So thanks very much, Mr. Jeremiah." Nakapikit kong hinila iyong paper bag at saka na nag-bow sa kanya. "Have a great day! Adios."
I heard him groan as soon as I walked off. I knew I was his favorite. He's just saying that, like always. He's slowly warming up and he's doing perfectly fine. And I really appreciated his gift, I just got overwhelmed about it.
Maybe I'd give him an extra gift: a wife.
Or a flamingo. I had a flamingo.
Pagkatapos naming bumili ng Christmas Tree noon ay araw-araw ko nang ginambala ang mundo niya. Bitbit ko pa sina Archer at Julio para full force. Lagi namin siyang sinasabayan mag-dinner. Noong una ay ayaw pa niya, kunwaring naiinis, pero kalaunan naman ay nakahanda na kaagad ang kakainin namin dito sa tavern bago pa man kami dumating.
I didn't want to take credit for it, but Jerry's gotten pretty happier these days. Sure, he's a natural sourpuss, but he's slowly becoming a cherry. And that's progress! Ang next naman niyang title na aabutin ay 'strawberry.' Ayt, lezgerit!
"Sorry, I'm late."
Auntie Tonette arrived looking rather unprepared. Her hair's a bit of a mess, she didn't put on her usual modest makeup, and she's dressed too casually without her winter jacket. Too casual, as in, an oversized polo shirt.
Julio was occupied with his own task to care. Pero ako, pinanood kong kumilos si Auntie. There was something sketchy, but I couldn't quite pinpoint which yet!
Pinanliitan ko siya ng mata. Her hands were shaky, she couldn't get a good grip on the watering can. When she tried to pour water on the plants, it went everywhere but the greens!
"Hey, Auntie, you know, you should really aim the water at the plants. But what do I know, hmm?" I told her in falsetto followed by a perfectly-staged shrug.
My eyes still hawked for clues. Auntie shyly nodded and timidly pressed her wet hands on her polo shirt. And that's when my eyes widened in realization. "Aha! It's the shirt!"
Mabilis nilingon ni Auntie ang pamangkin niyang si Julio, na wala namang pakialam sa amin. Nanlalaki pa rin ang mata ko nang mahila ako papasok sa cold room. Ang isa kong kamay ay naiwang nakadikit sa dibdib ko.
"Oh, will you please calm down!" natataranta niyang suway sa akin. Her cheeks flushed red.
"You came from Uncle Benj's, ano? Don't lie. Julio told me so."
God, these old people were too much work. I might have to hire a nanny soon.
"Galing nga ako ro'n," she said with a defeated sigh. "Isang gabi lang naman—"
I interjected with a very breathy gasp. Her blush intensified to a glowing color of red while her eyes were deeply hinted with shy happiness.
"Auntie, you filthy animal!" I grinned and pointed at her accusingly.
"Snooki! I'm not filthy..." nakakunot ang noo pero nangingiti niyang sabi. Pagkatapos ay bumulong ng, "animal lang."
Oh? My? Gosh? Dalaga na talaga si Antonette!
Naglapit ang mukha namin at magkahawak-kamay kaming humagikhik. A little girl's bonding moment that I'd swear to cherish.
When we calmed down a bit, I brought Auntie's head to my shoulder. While caressing her hair, I said, "Mana ka na sa 'kin, Antonette. I'm proud. But you have to take it easy, 'kay? Brittleness of the bones is directly proportional to age. And you aren't aging backwards, so remember that."
"I know, Snooki. I know," she said lovingly and I smiled.
Auntie Tonette and Uncle Benj—no matter how crazy their love story started, the crazies were what made it so worth it in the end.
But a story like that wasn't for me. Come on, handang-handa na akong magmahal! 'Wag naman sanang paabutin ng tadhana na tumuntong kami ni Archer ng sixty years old bago magkatuluyan. Hindi ko kakayanin, mahihimatay ako! Legit.
"Malapit na kayong matapos?" someone from outside asked.
"Not yet. Pero pwede mo nang nakawin si Snooki."
I heard a distant laugh. "I can wait."
"Nah. Just go get her, man."
Maarte kong nilagay ang parehong palad sa dibdib at saka nag-twirl. I batted my eyelashes and told Auntie, "Sinusundo na ang reyna. Paalam. Hanggang sa muli, or shall I say, mamayang gabi at the rooftop."
"Go." Auntie shooed me. I pinched her cheek eagerly it paled a little where my fingers left. She's so cute whenever she frowned.
Pagkalabas ko, nakita ko si Archer na nakasandal sa upuan ng bike ko at pinatutunog-tunog pa iyong bell. Sa loob ng shop ko kasi iyon ipinarada dahil sarado naman na kami. Mabilis siyang umayos ng tayo pagkakita sa 'kin, medyo nawalan pa nga ng balanse. Bahagya akong natawa.
"Before I forgot, what did you get me, Snooks?" mapaglarong tanong Julio and my smile went away. Alam kasi nitong hindi ako magwa-wild 'pag nandito si Archer.
"Headache."
"Well, you do give me shit tons of it every day. How about you think of something else?"
"There's nothing else." I bumped my shoulder to his when I walked beside him. He chortled, giving me a light pat on my head.
Archer smiled a bit as he watched us. I blushed every time I saw him wearing as casual as jeans, simple shirt, and a winter jacket. Because it felt like in this way, he wasn't as someone too far-flung for my reach.
He stretched out his arm and reached for my hand. Nagpahila naman ako kasi why not. Pagkalapit ko ay pinalis niya ang buhok na humaharang sa mata ko.
"Should we go now?" His other hand traveled the small of my back. While my hands, as owned by a behaved young lady, only rested patiently on the exterior of his winter jacket.
"Oki," sagot ko at nangiti naman siya sa pagpapa-cute ko. Pinisil niya ang pisngi ko kaya ngumuso ako.
"Yeah, yeah. You two are in love, and I'm single. I get it." Julio acted to be in great distaste. "Pwede na kayong lumayas."
I bragged a smile of bliss right before I grazed the just-cleaned floor to walk out of the shop, pulling Archer behind me. Nahiya naman ako bigla kaya binitiwan ko ang pagkakahawak sa braso niya.
"Snooki..." natatawa niyang tawag at saka muli akong hinila palapit. "Lapit ka sa 'kin. Maraming tao."
Lumalakad na kami nang tingalain ko siya. "Porke't wala lang sina Auntie in sight, ganyan ka na."
He chuckled and his hand on my shoulder pressed me tightly onto him, kissing me lightly on my hair. "Now you know why I often want us alone. A month with you is passing by like days and I want to spend it wisely."
I grimaced and rolled my eyes on his mushiness so to hide my kilig. Kasi naman, ayaw niya pang dumiretso sa ano... singsing. Kahit ako na ang bumili, oh, luluhod na lang siya. Char! Magpaalam muna siya sa mi familia.
He dipped his head to say more. "If you must know, ikaw rin ang dahilan kung bakit hindi kita malambing tuwing nando'n sila."
I lightly nudged his torso with a growl, but he seemed to have grown more amused with me instead of toning it down. But, meh, liked it. I loved us like this, my grimaced lips tugged into a fleeting smile.
Tumuloy kami sa paglalakad para mag-last minute grocery shopping for the ingredients of eggnog. Because tonight, we'd get together for Christmas Eve at the rooftop as how I planned it. At dahil ayaw akong pakawalan ni Archer, partner ko siya rito. Ewan ko ba sa buhok ko, hindi na umikli. I so hate it. Like, when will this end? Ugh. Keme!
No, please, Lord, don't take this away from me! I was kidding! You know I was definitely kidding.
Not long after, the night aged and I was still with Archer. Every day was just like how he promised me. All-day, every day kilig-service for me, only me, this whole month he was off work.
Masaya lang tuwing kasama siya pero nahihiya pa rin talaga ako minsan. Kasi, for starters, sobrang crush ko talaga siya! Sagad sa bones! I really didn't want him to get turned off of me even in the slightest way possible. I was still always myself around him, and I loved it for me. But random moments would catch me off guard with an outpour of questions whether this was all an illusion or was Archer really, finally, mine?
Tulad ngayon na malapit na naming matapos ang set-up dito sa rooftop. He was at one corner, near the railings, sorting out the dangling light fixtures. If I didn't fly here many months ago, who knew what he could be doing in that version of our lives? Who would know what I could be doing?
Would we be loving someone else?
I jumped behind him for a scare, but he was so focused on the light fixtures that he didn't notice me until I tugged on his jacket.
"Marsden, do you really like me or are you just sympathizing with the overwhelming and indisputable feelings I have for you?" I frowned. He was so painfully dreamy he was unintentionally making me feel like this.
His shoulder drooped along with the falling of hands. Laughter escaped his lips it deepened my frown. Leaving what he was doing, I was engulfed in the warmth of his body. He met my eyes with the clear announcement of the words I always loved to hear.
"I can tell you exactly how I feel for you, Snooki. But we both know what normally happens next, so I'd rather keep it until we're completely alone."
Yes, we kiss. A lot.
"What do you mean? We're alone... uhm... now." I pouted, pupils ran sideways in a shy wishful glimmer.
"No, we're not." He chuckled and tapped the tip of my nose before turning to his work, leaving me out in the cold again. Parang isa lang, e!
Sakto namang narinig ko ang hiyaw ng kadarating lang na si Julio na siyang may dala ng pagkain.
"Eyyy... Merry Christmas, humans! Booze is the gift of holidays, and I brought 'em!"
What a flower-blocker! And I thought Elon was the worst—but that might still be true. I'd know when we go home to Pinas.
The uncles and auntie caught up to us a minute later. I didn't know if it was a good idea but we still sat on the floor to eat, picnic-in-the-park or surprise-suyo-of-Archer-Marsden kinda style.
"I'm sorry! This is my idea. But you will all get a coupon from me in return. Milk for the bones is on me. So that's good, right?" I defended preemptively.
"I don't think it's milk that I'll need. We'll all die in hypothermia before anything worse happens." He shook his head before he chugged down his eggnog.
"We have a rather powerful outdoor heater, Jer! Is everything ain't really enough for you, huh?" I exclaimed dramatically. "And you ask yourself why you still don't have a wife," sabi ko ng kunwaring pabulong pero ipinarinig ko talaga.
Sumingkit ang mata ni Uncle Benj nang humalakhak. Si Auntie naman ay tuloy lang sa pagkain dahil siguro sanay na siyang ganito kami ni Uncle Jer.
At my right, Archer extended his arm around my waist and dipped his forehead on my shoulder. I heard him laugh. But suddenly Auntie's eyes found him and turned stern. Eh. Inggit lang siguro.
Buong gabi, nakabilog lang kami sa ibabaw ng mattresses at nakakumot ng comforters. Sa gitna namin ay ang mga pagkaing pinagsamang take-outs at luto ni Auntie. 'Di rin nawala ang eggnogs na kami naman ni Archer ang nag-prepare. But we also had champagne courtesy of Julio.
Nagtawanan lang kami buong gabi dahil tungkol sa pag-aasawa ulit ni Jerry ang halos naging topic namin. Walang inantok sa aming anim dahil kahit noong lumalim na ang gabi, gising pa rin ang city. It was alive more than ever. Most people were in a very festive mood like us, and the vibe of the city did not disappoint in supporting each celebration.
"I already produced enough kids and have had quite enough heartbreaks. Why would I need a wife when I have a tavern to run?"
"Uncle, listen, I don't think you fully understand what love is. So, shall I humor you with a love song?" purred Julio. A champagne flute slipped between his fingers, casually swirling the red in it like a Mr. Suave.
"Nah. I was born alone, and I certainly could die alone. I'm good."
"See, even the nature of life and death itself, Uncle doesn't understand!" Nakaturo pa si Julio kay Jerry habang tumatawa.
Maybe it was the bourbon that slowed the time, but as it ticked slowly, emotions gushed out as I looked at each faces of the people around me. Sa likod nila ay ang malayo at malalabong kislap ng ilaw sa city buildings. I focused on their smiles, and how it quickly changed depending on who was talking or what we were talking about.
Julio, I believed, was a bit drunken. Ang daldal na niya, e, tapos si Jerry pa ang trip. Tingin ko tuloy gusto nang umuwi ni Jer at matulog na lang.
Jerry seldomly smiled, but his eyes spoke his emotion. He passed down his tough love from his daughters to us who were left in New York. As long as his eyes gleamed of what seemed like a state of happiness, I could care less about his grumpy persona.
Auntie Tonette and Uncle Benj were finally happy together. Malaya nang nakakakilos si Uncle ng panlalambing dahil nahuli na niya ang kiliti ni Auntie na sa wakas ay pakakasalan na niya sa susunod na taon.
Tuwing tumatawa ay laging sumusulyap si Uncle Benj kay Auntie. Napansin ko pa iyong kamay niyang hindi nilubayan ang kamay ni Auntie simula nang makarating dito. I felt happy and secured for Auntie because of that simple gesture. They were definitely going to be each other's golden rock through and through.
Each of our days was numbered. Some lived a hundred. Some lived a second. No one didn't have to count for it. But for Auntie Tonette and Uncle Benj, may they only count their aureate mornings in bed together, their afternoons with the flowers in Daily Bloom, and their scenic sunsets viewed from a flower farm where they should grow older together.
"I love you," mouthed Uncle Benj when Auntie looked at him.
They could keep on counting for things that made the weight of sorrow render powerless, and until they didn't have to realize that when the numbers added up, it would be the numbers of nothing but a worthwhile lifetime.
I wanted that, too.
"Hey, Snooki?" called Archer tentatively.
"Hmm?" Nakatingin pa rin ako kina Auntie at Uncle. Kainggit, e. Saan kaya makakabili ng gano'n?
"Spend the New Year's Eve with me?" he asked. I listened distractedly.
By this time around, lahat kami ay in pairs na nag-uusap. Siguro kung wala si Julio ngayon, umuwi na nang tuluyan si Jerry! O kaya naman, tulog.
"Yeah, sure. Pero 'di ba iyon naman ang plan talaga? Magse-celebrate ulit tayong magkakasama?" Nagtataka kong tiningnan si Archer.
"I mean... Ah, shit," natatawa at mahina niyang mura. Iniwas niya ang mukha niya. "Will you spend it with me?" pag-uulit niya. Inangat niya ang mata niya para salubungin ang nagtatakang akin.
"Uhh... with me only?" he added. "Tayo lang dalawa."
He was so shy! Nangiti ako at pinanggigilan ang pisngi niya. "Sure, sure! Bakit hindi? Let's ditch them oldies." I kidded.
Hindi niya inalis ang kamay ko. Nagsalita lang siya habang mukha siyang pufferfish kasi s-in-andwich ko ang mukha niya sa palad ko.
"Everyone knows I'm gonna ask you. All's set and done. Sagot na lang ni boo ang hinihintay ko." Mapaglaro siyang ngumiti.
He knew I'd get shy whenever he playfully called me like that! Ibinagsak ko tuloy ang kamay ko pero kinuha lang niya ito.
"Oo na nga! Saan ba 'yon? Anong plano mo?" nagmamasungit kong tanong. Kunwari lang. Never ko naman yata siyang masusungitan dahil sa pagkagwapo niya. Pero tingnan ko pa, baka 'pag nagbuntis na ako sa panganay namin, maging moody ako. Not sure.
"We have a hotel suite accommodation that overlooks the Times Square. We can watch the ball drop from there."
Woah. I mean...
"Tayo lang... dalawa?" mabagal kong tanong habang ang tibok ng puso ko naman ang bumilis. Napatulala ako. "You... and me? Alone?"
"Snooki," humahalakhak niyang tawag. Ipinatong niya ulit ang babà sa balikat ko. "Why are you stunned? It's not like we haven't been alone before."
"Ah, like before lang ba?" Agad akong nahimasmasan, e! "Usual-usual, gano'n? Akala ko kasi may matured roles na tayong gagampanan." Nahihiya at nag-aalangan akong tumawa habang pinaglalaruan ang laylayan ng buhok ko.
Lumayo siya para tumawa naman nang malakas. Napangiwi ako noong napatingala pa talaga siya sa katatawa.
"You really have a habit of making my chest pound like crazy, haven't you?" He grinned at me afterwards.
"I'm just making sure, ano!" Umirap ako and even flicked my hair. "Gusto ko kasi 'pag kasado na. Kapag may gown na at lakad ko na lang ang kulang!"
He descended his forehead near my cheek again. Having dazed eyes and playful lips, he said, "Let's be patient. We'll wait for it, yeah?"
Ang mainit na hininga niya sa pisngi ko ang nag-utos sa akin na tumango. Medyo nakiliti pa nga ako, pero pinigilan ko ang sarili ko na mag-react masyado kasi nandito si Auntie. Baka mainggit.
I saved all my feelings and reactions after that night and until the evening of the incoming new year. In between the big events were my and Archer's own small but special moments.
Pumasyal kami sa city. We ice-skated on a rink of frozen water. We drank hot chocolate and snuggled. We shoveled three feet of snow out of the way. We saw the Rockefeller Tree.
Sometimes I looked at Archer when he was onto something like taking my photo. The background would blur out, and all I could see was him. Then I'd smile, not for the camera, but because of him.
He's been making me really happy. The kind of happy I never thought I'd ever deserved to have. The kind of happy that could make me exhaust all of my remaining wishes to my glittering stars to never end. And I really wished it wouldn't.
Or else, New York would suck. Char!
The new year was coming, and we sat on the floor beside the tall glass window of the hotel suite waiting for it. The lights in the room were off, but the glow of the city outside sufficed to let me see Archer's face.
I followed where the lights came from, and when I saw the far end of the city I told Archer, "Crazy thought and feeling, but I can see myself living here permanently."
"How's that crazy?"
"I don't... really know. It just feels crazy." Nangiti ako at ibinagsak ang tingin sa wine glass na hawak ko. "Siguro dahil meron pa akong responsibilities back home. I traveled on a whim, you know. I just wanted a change in environment for some thrills. But I didn't really expect I'd find something else here."
"Oh, you meant someone?" He smiled smugly. I rolled my eyes. "Babalik ka ba sa trabaho mo sa hotel niyo?"
"If I want a career boost, then I guess I have to. But I'm not sure." Tinaas ko ang wine glass sa labi ko at tinungga na ang baso hanggang masimot. Wooh, tagay!
"A lot of people wanted to reach the top and it's great for them, but I guess I'm not people. Because here I am, thinking what's even up there that I won't see anywhere else? Success? Fame? Fortune and more? Tell me, what?" I sighed. Archer was just giving me brief nods like he silently understood me. "I'm not Sharpay Evans. I don't want it all."
"Really?"
"Yeah. I only want you." Kumindat ako na siyang nagpatawa sa kanya.
I climb, I still do. I wanted progress, but I was already untroubled where I currently was. If I could find happiness in the middle, I might not stop from there, but I won't mind not reaching the top either. For all I know, no matter how far up I'd be from the ground, my own summit was my happiness and contentment.
"No, but seriously, I just want to put it out here that we can live wherever you want. I won't mind anywhere." He shrugged.
My heart raced, and my palms felt like sweating even when it was cold. Napatulala na naman ako sa kanya. Tama ba ang narinig ko? Pakiramdam ko kasi nananaginip pa rin ako hanggang ngayon.
"Ibig kong sabihin, iyon lang ay kung isasama mo ako." Humalakhak siya.
"Grabe. You love me talaga, ano?" tukso ko sa kanya at tumango naman siya. Nag-iwas ako ng tingin kasi tumiklop agad ako, e.
Lord, thank you po talaga! Sa next life ko, kahit hindi na ako tao, pwede na akong maging bulaklak na lang. Basta si Archer ay ano, ha? Alam niyo na po 'yon.
"Harang," bulong niya sa sarili at inalis ang mga baso at champagne bottle sa pagitan namin. Nang maayos niya ay inilapit niya ang mukha niya nang sobra sa akin.
Talaga nga namang may pa-bonus pang mga romantic flick scenes sa buhay ko, 'no? Grabe ang perks maging paboritong tao ni G.
Naiintindihan ko rin iyong mga bidang babae tuwing napapalunok sila. Syempre dala ng kaba at excitement. Ikaw ba naman ang may guwapong nakaabang ang mata at labi sa harap mo nang ganitong kalapit. Nakangiti pa siya na parang nang-aasar pero naaakit naman talaga ako.
"I love you, Snooki." He smiled. "Thank you for making me look forward to each day. I'm working on myself so I wouldn't easily bore you out." Humalakhak siya, but I didn't.
"I know I haven't said anything yet. But I think you already know it." Nahihiya akong ngumiti ako pabalik.
"I dream of hearing it, but I will never rush you." Ngumiti siya. "Take your time. Say it when you're ready. Nararamdaman ko naman."
Uminit yata ang pisngi ko dahil doon. 'Di ko alam kung ano ang iniisip niya, e! Iyong ngiti niya kasi, parang nanlalambing na nang-aasar talaga.
Pero oo, sa tingin ko naman ay magaling akong humalik. Sa ganitong kagandang labi ba naman, hindi lang 'to panghigop ng sabaw, boi.
Tinampal ko pa rin ang braso niya at umirap. Hinuli niya ang kamay ko bago ko pa maibaba. He scooted even closer to me so there was no space between us anymore. Bale kung maisipan naming maglaro ng jackstone ora mismo ay hindi na talaga kaya. Gano'n.
"Snooki..." Naningkit ang mata niya sa pagkakangiting nanunukso.
"Yes?"
"Mahal kita," malambing na naman niyang sabi. His stare revealed his sincerity. The sparks of the muted fireworks in the sky were no match to what was in his eyes.
"I want this so bad that everything still feels surreal to me, Arch." My voice wobbled as I told him the truth.
"I kind of feel the same way, honestly. Pero totoo tayo, Snooki. And... uhm..." Napatungo siya sa kamay kong pinaglalaruan niya. Kumuha ng hiningang malalim bago ako muling tiningnan. "I know I never got to ask this way back, but I want to ask it now."
"I do," sagot ko kaagad sabay tawa. "Charot. Okay, go! Itanong mo na."
"Pasalamat ka wala akong dalang singsing," natatawa niyang banta. Pumuslit siya ng isang halik sa likod ng kamay ko bago nagtuloy.
"Snooki," he called. Long were our playful eyes had reigned until they all crossfaded into an earnest disposition. "Will you be my girlfriend?"
There was only one answer that I had been waiting to say. And it was a resounding, "Yes."
"Yes?" he asked with a hopeful look as if I would still hesitate a bit.
"Of course, it's a yes!" I reassuringly grinned and threw myself at him, rushing to vine my arms around his neck for a hug. I heard his chuckle and his hands that appraised their existence through their warmth on both of my waists, all the while securing me into place.
I rested my forehead against his, not minding the world outside counting seconds down that I barely even cared about.
Suddenly, time wasn't the most important element anymore, but our hearts that were in clear silent communication. The longer his smoldering eyes focused on me, the more it drove me to lose patience.
"I love you, Archer Marsden," I whispered. A sheen that visibly and quickly faded from the mist of his gaze told the narrative of his dream coming true.
And at the corner of my eye, the ball dropped and a beautiful chaos of fireworks stippled across the skies in technicolor. With that in blurry background, I closed my eyes and sunk my lips into his. Meticulously threading our breaths into a synchronized symphony, he deepened the kiss as an answer.
"In the heart of this overcrowded city, I am grateful that it was me that you first saw," he said. I opened my eyes a little in a hazy vision, but then he kissed me again and I retreated into a perfect darkness.
His supple lips kept on stealing my scant consciousness into dreamscape, exactly in a way that I would never crave for reality.
"I hope you'll let me marry you one day," he wished after we came into a halt to breathe. We opened our eyes.
"I will," I answered, still breathless. "Pero pwede ako today. Gusto mo?"
He decided to smile against my lips and with a low chuckle, his lashes swept my under-eyes as he consecutively showered me with feather-light, shallow kisses.
Ultimately, that made the noise in the world drown in the sound of my own heartbeat. A kiss one could only get from a love so expensive to win. A gentle movement of one's lips sultry for a heart that had been waiting a time too long since forever.
"Baka magsawa ka sa akin kaagad." I pulled myself away from him, hurting from our aching distance. Ngumiwi ako. Nag-aalala talaga ako, honestly!
"I am already twice as in love with you, Snooks."
"How about next year?"
"Hundred." He grinned while he intertwined our hands.
"The year after?" I challenged further. Scare him off, you know?
"Million," he confidently answered. And that was when I felt my heart fiercely melted, and my eyes moistened at the dawn of tearing up. Hinigpitan niya ang pakakahawak sa kamay ko.
"Archer, how about after we get married?" I asked, terrified of his answer. But when his eyes gave me reassurance, his lips gave out promises, and his hand on my jaw drizzled affection, suddenly, all fear started to dissipate. And then finally, he answered me with words.
"Then my love will be amplified to infinity."
f i n