A/N pls ignore if u see some mistakes, I'm just gonna edit it if I have a free time
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" How do you want me to do that?" Ningning replied " I love you Lia but this..." she gestured between me and Yeji and then around " This is...this....Arghhh..." she grabbed her hair in frustration "I don't know anymore,"
She sat back on her chair, looking conflicted and in that moment I thought I had broken her. She was staring straight ahead, lost in her thoughts but I could see the internal battle happening inside her head.
"Lia don't deserve to suffer any more than she already did," I turned my head toward Yeji who had stood up from her spot on the floor. She seemed to have gained some sort of new confidence "She almost died. She doesn't deserve to have her private life exposed any more than it already did. Neither does she deserve to be judge or hate for it. You're her friend." she finished in a calm voice.
Ningning slowly rose up and came closer to Yeji, an unreadable expression on her face. My heart was pounding in my chest. She stood in front of Yeji, looking like a child due to their height difference. Yeji was dominating her by a good head but it was Ningning who had the upper hand. She had the power to destroy us both.
"Do you love her? Really love her?" She simply asked, looking into Yeji's eyes with firmness.
Yeji seemed a bit taken aback by that question but wasted no time to answer without breaking eye contact.
"Yes...I do...with all I have,"
My heart did something in my chest that I couldn't comprehend and the warm feeling in my stomach came back. I inhaled deeply trying to control this feeling and to not let it be apparent.
I looked up at the girl who made me feel this way, it was the first time since I got to know her again that I saw Yeji being so confident and I got to say it kind of surprised me. It was so different from her usual self and yet it suited her well.
The two stayed staring at each other for a moment, Ningning assessing Yeji and her true intentions, and Yeji trying to prove she wasn't the person Yeji had in mind.
I didn't dare break the silence, I was so scared. My heart threatened to rip out of my chest at every beat. I was holding on, on the edge.
Finally, Ningning broke their staring battle and came toward me. She kneeled in front of me, delicately taking my hands. Her eyes looked into mine, all the anger in it earlier was gone, her eyes were sparkling as she seemed somehow sorry.
"You loved her too, didn't you?"
I nodded, unable to speak due to the lump that had formed in my throat. A sudden tear rolled down her face, taking me aback. " I'm so sorry," she muttered before putting her hands over her face, crying. I didn't know what was happening. Why did she react like that? I looked up at Yeji who was just as confused as I was. So I did the only thing I could think of; I hugged her tightly in my arms.
" It's ok," I whispered.
-
After comforting Ningning, I realized how late it was. So I texted my mom that I'll be late and Ningning proposed to go back home with me to be my alibi. Ningning swore to not say a word and she wanted to be kept in the loop.
Yeji was staying behind at the treehouse to clean up the mess but I knew it wasn't the only reason. She wanted to let Ningning and I talk on the way home without being an obstacle for Ningning to express herself. Also, she was kind of scared of Ningning, which was really funny to me but I reminded myself that Yeji saw Ningning as one of the people who hang around the people who bullied her.
" So you still don't remember anything?" Ningning inquired, walking alongside me, her arm wrapped around mine. I was glad she wasn't mad anymore. It didn't suit her, she was better as the innocent baby of the group.
"Nope,"
"Lia, can I ask you something really personal?"
It was the first time she asked before asking something deep, it never stopped her before. So I got a little concerned about what she might ask but I didn't want to lie to her anymore. It felt good to have a confident other than Yeji, someone who was outside of this relationship.
"Go...ahead,"
"Do you...do you love her again?....I mean...now that you lost your memory and all?"
It was a good question but a complicated one. Did I? Of course, I liked her but love? It was all new to me.
"Lia?"
I turned my head at Ningning.
"Sorry...I....It's complicated," I sighed. She nodded silently. We kept walking for a moment before she said:
"You didn't say no," I turned my head toward her, she kept looking ahead seemingly deep in thoughts " It's obvious that you care about her. When she had her little panic attack earlier, all that you cared about was her, not me being all mad and all. And you knew exactly what to do,"
"I did not know what to do. It was like a...instinct," I shrugged, still unable to explain how I did it.
"Your brain remembers,"
" What?"
"Your brain must remember how to take care of her," she proposed.
Maybe she was right. I may not have any memories but my body and my brain knew how to react to some things for example like how I knew which cereal to take on the kitchen isle or how I went to sleep on the right side of my bed. So why not with Yeji?
I looked at Ningning who kept walking ahead, looking at the ground. She seemed in her thoughts, her hands gripping firmly my arm like she was afraid to lose me. I was thankful it was her who discovered the truth, if it had been the others we wouldn't be walking with their hands around my arm right now.
"Ningning?"
" Yeah ," She raised her head, looking up at me.
"Are you ok?"
" I...don't know. I have to think about it," she sighed " I can't wrap my head around the fact that you and Yeji are...were a thing. I could have never imagined, I mean you...hated her. It's...weird,"
"Yeji is a good person you know,"
"If you loved her.. love her...she must be," she said, sending me a smile " If she makes you happy. That's all that matter ," she paused " I was never really homophobic to begin with,"
I looked at her in shock. Did she just?
"I saw this show on TV once, it was really informative," she shrugged like it was nothing but it warmed my heart a lot. I smiled happily, this kid was seriously so surprising in the best way possible and caring. It made me love her so much. She always had my best interest in mind even if she was sometimes misdirected. She wanted to protect me against Yeji, thinking she was hurting me. She had the best intention.
-
We walked up toward my house, laughing.
My mom opened the door before we even step foot in the alley. It was like she had been waiting for our arrival.
"Hi, Mrs. Choi," Ningning greeted brightly.
" Hi Ningning," my Mom replied without the same fervor, she crossed her arms against her chest and I could see something was wrong.
As we arrived at the door I could see that she had been crying, her nose and cheeks were red and her eyes were sparkling. When her eyes fell on me it sent me shivers. They were so hard and dark.
"Well, see you tomorrow at school," Ningning hugged me and kissed my cheek, waved to my mom and left.
" Go inside," my mom's voice sounded harsh and I didn't understand why. I called her to say I would be late. Plus, I had Ningning with me. So why was she like that?
I walked inside and when I arrived in the living room I instantly froze in place. The brown box was set on the couch, open. The pictures were spread on the floor and one of the diaries was open.
My mom entered the room quietly before sitting down on the couch taking the diary in her hands. She sent me a look that was enough to tell me she knew.
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