Lia
The front of the school looked unfamiliar. Just like everything else.
I was in the parking lot of what was supposed to have been my daily sight, standing there, absorbing every detail of my surroundings. I went there almost every day and yet, like my home, I forgot everything about it. It frustrated me deep down. How could I forget things that were so significant in my life? People. Places. Who I was. What I liked.
The memories of it got lock into the deep end of my brain. Leaving me to wonder what it could have been like.
I stand there, awkwardly looking around while people were staring at me, some pointed at me, whispering to their friends something that was probably addressed toward me. It made me uncomfortable but that didn't seem to bother Chaeryeong and Ningning who were by my side brightly smiling at me, gesturing for me to go inside the school. The girls had mentioned multiple times by now that their little group was really popular around school but I never thought it was that much. I kind of assumed they were a little bit exaggerating but looking around I now regretted my fast judgment. Everyone was staring, some bear big smiles as I walked by, some had looks that could just kill. Maybe I was right about the bitch side. Damn it.
I was so nervous, my palms were sweating. I had noticed that when I was stressed I would rub my thumb against my index finger and I was doing that right now. I tried to stop instead focusing on walking toward the entrance as normally as I could so my limp wouldn't show too much, I didn't want to attract the attention even more but it was no use. I miserably failed.
Various people greeted me; some teachers, some students. Telling me one name after the other. The classes we had together or the personal connection we used to have but after a while all these new pieces of information mixed in my head. I already couldn't remember.
Rushing me away from the tumult, Ningning showed me my locker, the password was pretty simple: 6543. It had nothing inside, Ningning had brought everything home once I was out of the hospital for me to catch up on the classes.
Every day was a new experience, today included.
I put some of my books in my locker and looked around to see if people were still looking at me. There were some occasional looks but everyone was back getting busy with their daily lives, it felt a bit freeing like a weight had been removed inside my body. How could have I bare being the center of attention before? Was I that different from what I felt like now?
As I was about to put my attention back to my locker my eyes met others staring right back at me. Shining orbs. The cat eyed girl behind the glasses quickly averted her gaze though, closing her locker and walked away.
That was...odd. Plenty of people had stared at me but there was something different about that one. I couldn't pinpoint what. I couldn't explain it. Her eyes looked at me differently.
Maybe I knew her before? Maybe she was a friend?
I closed my own locker, taking a big breath. Time for class.
-
Yeji
She was here. She looked at me and...nothing. She didn't recognize me.
I began to slightly panic.
OK, I was in full panic mode.
Tears began to form in my eyes.
During the past two months, I tried to gather as much information as I could. It was not easy since no one talked to me but I'll be damned if I didn't try.
However, news traveled around quickly in high school and with the four gossip queens as friends, the news about Lia's amnesia took less than a day for everyone to be informed of.
And just moments ago, she didn't recognize me. I didn't expect her too. Frankly, in the beginning, I have hoped. The girl with amnesia who only remembered her secret lover. Straight out of a romantic movie. But it wasn't one.
I debated on what to do during these past two months. Once I'll see her again, should I tell her about us or not? How should I tell her? Will she think I'm crazy? She'll definitely think I'm crazy.
A weird ugly nerdy girl telling her they used to be lovers. Best case scenario she'll laugh and walk away. Worst, they'll burn me at the stake.
What should I do?
Maybe it was a chance for her to start new.
Be happy without hiding. Lia was probably better without me.
Her life was better without me in it. It was better if I left her alone.
Nonetheless, every time I saw her I couldn't help but stare. My body paralyzed as my thoughts kept debating on an impossible decision. She had the right to know who she used to be.
Monday, I stared. Tuesday, I stared. Wednesday, I stared. Thursday, I stared. She caught me multiple times. I looked away every single time then I looked again. She must think I'm a freak.
What should I do?
-
Lia
The week passed way too quickly. It was already Friday. High school was exhausting. How "old me" managed everything? I didn't know. Plus she was a cheerleader, thing that I couldn't be anymore. Nevertheless, I still went to practice to support the girls.
The week was intense and tiring but my family, friends, and therapist supported me the best they could. Helping me through it with reassuring words and little gestures.
There was one thing that kept bothering me though and that had been consistent during the entire week.
I didn't accord it too many thoughts at first because other people kept looking at me too, except that, she kept staring at me during the entire week. The girl with the glasses. Every time we crossed path she would look at me weirdly.
Other people were looking at me with curiosity like I was a freak. But not her. There was something totally different in her eyes, some... sadness maybe? I didn't know what really. It was very confusing. We had some classes together and every time I caught her staring at me but she was quick to divert her gaze.
And minutes ago, I had caught her again. We were in our literature class, she was sitting on my direct right and I felt her gaze on me. Omnipresent. I was determined to ask her if something was wrong, except, the minute the bell rang she fled the room.
I huffed in annoyance, a bit exasperated, limping into the hallway.
Lifting my head, I saw Ningning coming toward me.
"Hey, I texted you but you didn't answer. I got worried," she said with her innocent concerned eyes.
"So...Sorry. I think it...it is on silent mode. I do not really know how to use it yet," I confessed a bit ashamed.
"It's the exact same one you had before though," she said, tilting her head to the side.
" Guess I forgot about that too," I sighed.
"I'm sorry," she apologized, patting my back.
" It is o...ok," I said sadly, rubbing my forehead.
"Are you okay? Are you having another headache?" she asked with concern, starting to examine me from every angle.
"No...no it is not...t...that. I...I'm okay," I stuttered.
" What's wrong then? " she insisted, furrowing her eyebrows. Even like that, she was still cute, like a kid in a grown-up body.
" I..."
Truth was, I've been internally debating in whether or not to tell her or the girls for quite some time now. Suddenly the situation seemed ridiculous.
" Come on, tell me. Maybe I can help you,"
When I turned my head toward her. I was met with the cutest puppy eyes ever. Damn, that kid.
"Ok,"
She smiled brightly, eyes glowing. She nodded furiously, gesturing for me to go on.
"There is this girl. She...she keeps star...staring at me. She...never...speaks, just...stare. Never speaks. Maybe...I...knew her...be...before," I managed to let out after some time.
"Well, you didn't hang out with anyone besides us that I know of but...describe her,"
"Uh...ok...she is t...tall, she has glasses. A...aviators gla....glasses and..."
"Ohhh," she interrupted me.
I fixed my eyes on her with expectation but before she could even open her mouth, Yuna joined us. Immediately taking our hands and leading us toward the cafeteria.
" Let's hurry, girls. I'm starving ,"
Once we got our food, we sat at our usual table. Chaeryeong and Ryujin were already there, arguing over some cheerleading problems. I started eating my French fries in silence, still intrigued by glasses girl.
Ningning gently put her hand over mine. I lifted my head confused.
" Don't stress over Yeji, it's nothing."
"Yeji?" Chaeryeong intervened, arching a brow " What about her? What did she do?" she continued sharply in an aggressive tone.
I was starting to get nervous by the tone she took. Why did Chaeryeong react like that by just the mention of her name?
"She's been staring at Lia since she came back," Ningning replied, patting my back.
"That fucking weirdo," Ryujin huffed, looking around the cafeteria in anger "That's it! I'm going to beat the shit out of her this time,"
"Wo...wo...Girls, ca...calm down. She just loo...looked at me," I let out, trying to calm her. Why the sudden uprising?
"Lia, sweetie," Chaeryeong said, looking at me straight in the eyes, at that moment she kind of frightened me. I could see why people looked away when she passed by. " You need to stay away from Yeji Hwang."
" Why?"
I was so confused. What the hell was happening?
"That girl is no good, ok. She's a...an asocial monster. No one loves her and no one can. She is also a very deranged and extremely perverse individual... "
" She's a fucking lesbian," Ryujin blurted out, cutting Chaeryeong.
Silence fell on the table. So, glasses girl...Yeji. She was...gay.
Wow, that was definitely not what I was expecting.
...But why did she kept looking at me?
_
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