"I'll be going then... have a good sleep."
Earth looked back a last time over his shoulder to Vee, who had already fallen asleep, before walking out of the bedroom and taking his things. He had spent the past hour trying to get all of his stuff together since he couldn't sleep anyway and with the sun rising outside the window, it felt good to leave now. Sleep wasn't in the available reach today anyway, so getting everything in his car and going to university early sounded like a plan.
Carefully, he closed the front door, his backpack over one shoulder and the travelbag in his other hand, trying to be as silent as possible. Even for a Thursday morning when everyone would either head to work or to lectures, it was still quite early, the digets showing just 6am and with that still two hours before Earth's lectures would start. Slowly, he made his wade out of the apartmentbuilding and to his car that was parked right next to the building. It didn't take him long to put one of the bags in the trunk while is backpack got placed down in the passenger seat while he started out to front window.
What should he do now before is lectures would start? The university wasn't even open right now and even if he took the longer route there, it still would be closed off. Going home then?
He could slowly feel his head shaking. Facing Pan this early in the morning, especially when there was a full day of lectures in front of him wasn't the brightest idea. Not only would it keep himself from focusing at all on the things he would have to know in the upcoming exams, but if he was really honest... Earth didn't feel ready yet. Yes, he wanted to end the relationship, but no matter how cold and indifferent Pan had been towards him for the past time, it still wasn't easy to end a relationship. There were always also positive memories he had, many times when the younger had made him smile or when they were starting to go out with each other. It just didn't feel right to reduce the relationship to the bad things that happened and how it would end, just because they had fallen out of love. It wasn't fair towards the other. Rather than foreever keeping it as a negative memory, as a haunting past, Earth would rather prefer to end it on a good note and to be greatful for the things he learned while being with Pan.
After thinking a moment longer he started the car, leaving the parking lot of the apartment complex and heading out in the still quiet streets of bangkok. There weren't many people yet on their way to work, so getting from one place to another wasn't hard. Earth had remembered this one coffee shop Mix and him had gone to while hanging out, a really cute one that opened early and had a variety of nice drinks and sandwiches. What would be a better way to start the day then getting something nice to eat and enjoying yourself before the hectic and stress of university life would start again?
It only took him around ten minutes to find the place again and parc his car closeby, taking out his wallet before locking the car and making his way to this hidden gem. Mix and him had been in the neighbourhood when the other suddenly proposed going to a place he came across while sitting in a nearby parc and studying. Seemingly he prefered studying outside in the nature rather than in a closed of room, but thinking back to the small space in their apartment that Mix was living in... he could surely understand that. And well one of those times he had walked past here and got himself a drink, liking it so much that Mix would come back again and again. And even after just trying their food and drinks once, Earth had completely fallen for it. Being such a foodie, he just couldn't help for a sandwich that was like a cesar salad... but as a sandwich. And that paired with one of their iced peach iceteas? What could he want more in the world to start a day?
"Oh... it's you again , " The owner chuckled when seeing Earth enter the door to the small coffee shop, that was basically like a greenhouse in the middle of bangkok, the entrance and counter in a normal house, with the seating area being situated in the greenhouse. It was hard to imagine a place like this, and if someone had told him about this, Earth surely wouldn't have believed that such a place existed. But then again... sometimes you only believe things when you have them right in front of your eyes.
"Swadee khrap , " he politely greeted the woman in her thirties, that was just giving him a grin and then looking around.
"Oh Nong Mix isn't with you today... what a pity."
"Haha yes he is busy... I just was awake quiet early and thought this was the best way to start the day. You food is just too tasty."
The woman couldn't hold back a laugh, her short hair swaying a little with the movement of her hair, and the prominent dimple appearing on her right cheek.
Beside their prices being reasonable and their offer being really good, Earth had to admit that it was the unique concept and the the owner's attitude that first made you want to take a seat here. There were just those people that made you instantely feel at home when you met them, and she was surely one of those. It felt more like going to a friend's coffee, even if you had never been here before.
"I am really glad you liked it that much... I'll pack you a little extra, just wait a moment."
While she was preparing his drink and food, Earth took out his wallet and already placed a little more than the price on the little wooden tray, his wallet disappearing in his pants again before he went over to sit on one of the tables outside in the greenhouse, watching the million colours that the sky was bathed in at the moment and taking a coupleof pictures of it with his phone. If there was one thing he regretted, it surely was missing his camera and not being able to capture the moment in it's full beauty... Maybe, seeing this dream like piece of art was something that would wake him up earlier every morning, so that he could watch the play of colour from different places, until he was sick of seeing this harmony. Well... it was probably impossible to have enough of this, at least for a good decade or two. And that was a lot of time.
Once the owner was done with putting together his order, she carried it over to the table and the two of them ended up sitting together, her sipping on a coffee while earth was consuming his breakfast and was send to cloud nine by it. The way the salad, dressing and chicken played together and melted in his mouth, he couldn't help picking every little crumb and piece up from his plate and even ordering a second one because it was this heavenly. And while he was eating, Earth and the woman ended up talking a little, mostly about university and how the shop was going, a little small talk here and there but which didn't felt forced or uncomfortable. it was a nice change of scenery and conversation partner for Earth and if he was really honest, the talk made him feel a little calmer for the day.
The day was like every other one, one lecture following the next, a little static here, architecture history there, and a couple of design studies to round the whole thing up. The combination of lecture subjects was a little more to Earth's liking though, always being greatful that he had the physics lectures on monday and tuesday and the rest of the week being free from his worst subject nightmare. Some people would just sit in the lectures and pay little intention, but something in the topics today had him completely fascinated, the young man hanging on every word his professors were saying today. Maybe it was his tired brain trying to divert the attention or just him feeling good after the nice breakfast... maybe just both of it was the case. But Earth would never complain about something like that.
Though after the lunch break it slowly started to get harder with every passing hour, him starting to glance at the clock from time to time and his attention slowly starting to fade... until he had troubles sitting down at all in his last one of the day. Well it was almost 5pm already, so who could say anything. The other students weren't doing much better, some of them ssecretly checking their facebook or line on their pc's, others scrolling through instagram - anything that could help them somehow get through the lecture without falling asleep. Mr. Sanguandikul was known for making life a living hell if someone was caught falling asleep while he held a lecture, scaring the first year students so much that they would come with multiple cups of coffee or ice to rub against their skin just so they wouldn't get on his bad side. He was actually quite the nice professor, explaining things throughly while having clean and organised printouts that really made learning his matters easier then with many of the other things Earth had. But well... everything had a flaw, right?
"Don't forget to hand the assignment in next Tuesday everyone."
With that the professor ended the class and in an instant the other students started putting their things together and heading out, while Earth took his time, collecting his pens and the notebook in his backpack before getting up and walking out as well. His hands started to get a little sweaty with every step that he got closer to his car, and once he was sitting in there and leaning back, he couldn't help but sigh. Breakups had never been his thing at all, though he only had had a handful of them, if you counted today in. But realising that the person you were once madly in love with and wanted to have around every moment of the day... realising that person and you grew apart or that they wouldn't be in your lifes anymore, it was a hard thing to come to terms with. No matter if the relationships was full of fights or arguments, it was still normal to feel a little heartbroken about it, even if you were the one breaking up. At one point that person was the one you wanted to build your future with and being a little sad about a future you would never see and a future you that won't be the person you grow in to... for the better or the worse, it was hard. But well, breakups were rarely easy.
Earth was so deep in his thoughts that he didn't even realise getting home and parking at their apartment complex, only the moment that he was standing in front of their front door carrying his bags, that's when it hit him hard. There was no more pushing it aside or just saying that he had time for it... no, it was about to happen.
"Oh... you're home already...."
Pan looked straight at the older, sitting at the kitchen table when Earth was entering the apartment and placed his things down, of course after taking off his shoes an placing them next to his boyfriends'. He couldn't help the nervousness creeping in his pores or the way his hands grew even more clam than before, something he rarely experienced and could only remember once before: when he came out to his parents during highschool and was scared of their reaction. Back then the world hadn't been as open as now, and knowing that he was their only child and would possibly end their family line... Earth surely prepared for the worst case rather than the best. But to his surprise it went quite different from his expectatation...
*
"If I am honest... I saw you holding hands with this one classmate of yours before and when he came over here to hang out... well I thought this might be the case, but you never now , " his mother chuckled and Earth couldn't help but feel his cheeks turning red, a little embarassed how she had seen his first boyfriend and him months ago already... and his more than clumsy attemps to keep it a secret in front of her.
All the times that he would sleep over or the fact that he had a picture of them as his wallpaper... the list of excuses he tried to find to push a necessary conversation in the future rather than having it now grew longer and longer... until he eventually felt confident enough to stand to his sexuality. Of course, he could have just hidden it for... god knows how long, but then again... did he wanted to be open woth them. They were normally very nice and open minded, but getting used to their son brining home boys instead of girls and the growing amount of times when relatives would ask over the years just when Earth would get married or when he would introduce his girlfriend... yea that surely was the less pleasant part.
All through the time when his mum was talking though, his dad stayed quiet, not saying anything and only sipping on his coffee until Earth slowly looked in his direction and their eyes met. The boy gulped a little, his hands suddenly seeling clam by the thought of how disastrous his father could react, from throwing him out to stopping contact with him... or just disowning him...
"You better get someone who isn't as messy as you and will be nice enough to help out your mom when preparing food when bringing it to the cemetry..."
Earth's mouth fell open in ... a mix of shock in surprise over what exactly his dad had just said. He should find someone who is organised? Who would help with the preparations when they would go to their family grave to pay respect to their ancestors? That's it?
*
"Phi? Phi Earth?"
It took him until someone touched his shoulder and nudged him to come back to reality, his brain seemingly trying to avoid this for the tenth time today, and he finally snapped back out of his memory from back then. No matter how much he wanted to avoid this conversation... he didn't love Pan anymore. And continuing being with someone that he couldn't treta right... was just something he would never want to engage in.
"I'm sorry Nong, I just drifted a little away in my head , " he laugehd it off and then sat down on the kitchen table as well, right across from where Pan had sat a moment ago while waiting for the younger to take his place again. He couldn't help fidgeting with his hands in his lap, not sure how to bring this whole thing up...
Should he first talk casually to him? Like getting the conversation going and then bringing it up?
"You wanted to talk right, Phi? I'd rather do that right now then doing this forced small talk... , " Pan silently brought out and then looked him straight in the eyes.
Earth let out a soft sigh to hearing this, unsure if jumping right into it was the best idea but then again...maybe it was. Just getting it over with. Not pushing it any further away...
"I think it would be best if we break up"
<< Alright welcome to the end of another chapter :D This time it is a little longer (2665 words yay) uhh sooo...
I did follow @darksprinkles_321 advice and did like a chapter planning for this (until chapter 23 i think?) but then I completely lsot it and last chapter and this somehow weren't supposed to exist. I felt weird jumping from one 'action' scene to the next and wanted to have a little of just flowing energy scenes.... but now I don't know. This chapter feels weird. The one before (Chappy 14) too... but then again I don't like my writing so you guys are the better judges for this I think....
Did you like this chapter?
I always start smiling when seeing you guys comment and enjoying it... it is hard normally to feel a connection to the people that read my work and all of you keep me going... If no one was reading my stories, then I wouldn't write anymore probbaly... you guys inspire me to give my best for my dream to publish my stories one day (ofc with OC's and not as fanfictions) but still... if my writing can bring a little light to your life or make you feel something when everything is numb and dark... I am more than glad.
If someone of you ever needs a person to talk to or confine in, I'm always there to listen. You can just write me a message here (a private message) and whenever I can, I will answer you guys. Because the majority of us were in a dark place at least once in their lives and something or someone helped us out, so it is natural that I want to help people too, if I can.
Love, Ia ♡♡ >>