MADELINE
The light creeping through my drapes wake me up.
I open my eyes to see Bucky's face in front of me, his eyes closed as he sleeps silently. His metal arm is around my waist and his face is only inches from mine.
I watch him as he sleeps.
I remember the nightmare from last night and him coming to wake me up. I remember how it calmed me, him being this close to me. How it felt right although I know it shouldn't.
I remember my nightmare. Him and Steve, both dying as I watched, me being the cause of it.
As I think back to the nightmare my chest hurts.
I try to focus on Bucky in front of me and I study his features.
He is beautiful. His hair is long and he is so different from Steve, but he is still just as beautiful. His chest is bare, the dog tags lying lazily against his skin and the bed, and his dark hair is framing his face. I study the stubble on his cheek and his perfectly defined jaw.
I think back to what Steve told me about Bucky being the darker version of himself and after last night, I understand. Bucky was able to calm me down and comfort me.
I haven't had a single nightmare since being with Steve but I knew, I just knew, they would return the second he left. And they did.
But Bucky was here for me and the second he held me close, they disappeared again. I slept peacefully for the rest of the night.
I know I shouldn't feel this way and it makes me feel instantly guilty. I love Steve, more than anyone I've ever known before, and that won't change. But I love Bucky too. It's just in a slightly different way.
I move my gaze down to his naked chest. In a lot of ways he looks like Steve.
The biggest difference are the scars embellishing his shoulder, surrounding the metal arm.
I know from the past that his arm is uncomfortable for him.
I know it's kept him from wearing t-shirts and tank tops for a long time, because he was ashamed of the scars and the history that arm brought with it.
I study it closely.
The metal plates meeting each other, the red star resting on it, like a threat of the past.
The faded scars that look like tattoos, telling a story. Like each of them holds their own meaning, a memory. And although they all might be painful, they all still define Bucky and the beautiful mess he is.
I lift my finger to his shoulder as I trace them lightly.
I don't even completely realize I'm doing it, entranced by the beauty of not only him but his past, and what he considers his flaws and mistakes.
I only realize once I feel him shift and I see him open his eyes abruptly as a reaction to my touch.
I retract my hand quickly as I look up at him embarrassed, having been caught doing something I probably shouldn't have.
His gaze meets mine and I am once again caught in those steel blue eyes of his. They're staring into my soul, reading my mind. Or at least, that's what it feels like.
He just looks at me for a while and I smile at him.
"Thank you for being here last night," I say.
He smiles at me softly, "I will always be here."
It makes my stomach flutter and I get the urge to pull him close to me, wanting to feel him against me, his skin against mine, but I refrain.
"I know. But I want you to know that it means everything to me."
His eyes are still on me, meeting mine intensely. He doesn't say anything but I see the emotion in his eyes. His jaw clenches ever so slightly before he bites down on his lower lip.
As his gaze moves from my eyes to my lips I feel a familiar tingle inside of me.
He is so close to me right now. Pulling him to me and kissing him would be so easy, it wouldn't even take effort. But I know I shouldn't, I know it's wrong.
I look down to his mouth, his teeth still sunk tightly into his lips, and a sigh escapes my lips as I think about what it might feel like to kiss him.
That makes him glance back up, scanning my face.
I'm lying in a tank-top and panties and he is almost naked, only in briefs. In any other situation this would mean something entirely different than it does right now.
I know he just came in here to comfort and be there for me last night. I also know I'm currently dating, and very much in love with, his best friend.
I clear my throat before I speak, "So.. What are you doing today?"
He gives me a short smile, "Looking after you. And then, probably some training. That's all I seem to do at the moment."
I laugh a little, "Alright well, we can train together after breakfast, then. It'll distract me from Steve being gone."
As I mention his name Bucky's eyes dart to the side and he moves to get out of bed.
Before he leaves my room he says, "Meet me for breakfast in 10 and then we'll go training."
Once again I'm left alone in my room but this time my thoughts are on not only Steve, but Bucky as well.
...
When Bucky said yes to training together he didn't actually mean together.
He's lifting weights at an almost insane rate, staring angrily at himself in the mirror.
I move to the floor where I usually practice my powers.
I'm closing my eyes in an effort to focus but the sounds coming from Bucky are too distracting. He's panting each time he does a curl, or at least exhaling loudly.
It's not annoying but it is distracting.
I try to think back to yesterday and how the energy surged through me.
I remember what I was thinking about when it happened and although I know the risk, I try to get back to that same spot.
I think about the vision again but nothing happens.
I move my hands about, frustrated, and little electric currents flow out but nothing like yesterday happens.
As I glance towards Bucky again I get an idea.
I close my eyes as I stand in the wide space of the gym and think back to the nightmare I had last night.
"Madeline, you need to get to safety now!" Steve yells to me as he fights off the aliens surrounding him.
"No," I say calmly, releasing energy towards an oncoming hoard of them. I watch Bucky as he tries to fight them off, a machine gun in hand.
"NOW!" Steve yells at me but I stay in place.
"I'm not leaving you, Steve!" I scream back as I glance at him and I see the worry in his eyes.
As the aliens come charging at the three of us, both Bucky and Steve try to fight them off, unsuccessfully.
And once they are both overrun I realize I have a choice to make.
I can save one, but not both.
As I hesitate for even a second, I lose both of them in an instant.
I come back to reality as I feel the energy enveloping me. I open my eyes to glance down, realizing that I am, once again, raised above the floor.
This time I won't let it control me.
I move my hand to my face, studying the blue energy surrounding it, and I move it downwards in a quick movement. It lifts me upwards instantly.
I move myself around a couple of times as I get the hang of being in the air like this, flying, the energy being the source.
As I launch an energy attack towards another punching bag lying on the floor, it once again shatters into tiny pieces.
This makes Bucky finally look up and notice me, reacting immediately to what he sees.
He runs towards me, horror and shock on his face. As he reaches me and is about to speak I put my hand up, silencing him.
"Don't speak. I don't want to lose it again," I say as I glance down towards my glowing body.
His mouth is agape as he watches me move around the gym.
Once I finally feel like I'm sort of in control of my movements, I move myself slowly back down to the floor and land gracefully.
Finally. I'm tired of being dropped from the air.
As I land and take a deep breath, the glow disappears.
Once I'm back to normal Bucky rushes towards me. "What the hell is going on Madeline?! What was that?!"
"I don't know Buck. But it felt really fucking good."