For a while
I can't help but wonder
how it feels
to be safe in your
own skin
For a while
I have wondered
what it was like
to be content
with what you have
To embrace flaws
to hone courage to fail
and try again
Often, I wonder
what it feels like
to be someone
other than
who I am
Because I've come
to realize
that I have been
all along, mistaken
I am not living
the best I can
I could be more
—so much more
But I often wonder
what it would feel like
if I stopped trying
and regress back
to who I am before
Would it be better?
Would I regret it?
Would my soul lament
something not meant
for me, all along?
I wonder
—I could only do so
For a while
I have been wondering
how good my life will be
if I could just
stop destroying
what others built in me
For a while
I wonder
if I have not been born
would the world
be a better place
without me?