Nessa
I've been keeping in contact with the older woman who gave me her number. She said her name was Chantel, but she doesn't mind what I address her as.
After that incident it just seemed like more of Powell's men started popping up and showing that they were around. They were obviously waiting for the perfect time to kill me.
"Girl why are you wearing all black? Don't you think that's kinda stupid?" Brittany questioned as she puckered her lips.
"For the 100th time, I'm going to a funeral," I reminded her. "Maybe you should wear black too. It'll match that black eye Jeremiah gave you the other day."
I could feel her stare a hole at the back of my head, but simply ignored it.
"Your dad is actually letting you go back there?" Zara asked in shock while I nodded my head.
I had to beg him. Literally, beg him with tears in my eyes just so he could allow me to go to Tino's funeral. He kept declining my request to return, even when he knew how close Tino was getting with me.
He told me I was only able to go if I allowed him to place an ankle bracket on my leg so he can track my location. I agreed to his plea.
"Bitch, your dad is becoming.. what's the word?" Zara made a quizzed face, "Controlling."
"He's been like that ever since I came back. It's like he's expecting something to happen or he knows something will." I stared myself in the mirror to take in my appearance.
"Maybe he's hiding something from you."
I didn't think too much about it, but now I was starting to feel that maybe he was.
"Before we go to the funeral can we stop at Jermiah's place because this Regina bitch keeps posting him on her story and i'm not having that shit," Brittany snapped, showing us the video on her phone.
"Are we going over there so you can finally break up with him?" I asked with hope in my voice.
"Girl, hell nah. We going over there so I can beat that hoes ass. Who the fuck does she think she is to kiss up on my man. ON IG LIVE TOO? "
"This is embarrassing," Zara said, taking the words right out of my mouth, "But whatever, we can go there, but quickly so we can head to the funeral."
We all agreed on that plan and made our way down the steps. Before I could even touch the door knob dad came out of his room with his uniform on.
"You have to be back by 9, are we clear?"
I stared at him, nodding my head, while he pulled my leg up to make sure the tracker was tightened around my ankle.
He than slipped the key into his pocket, so I wouldn't be able to take it off unless he was there to do it.
"I love you baby, enjoy yourself." He stood up, hugging me tightly before pressing a kiss on my cheek.
I pushed past him and finally walked out the door.
"Nessa, don't be like that. You know I just want you protected. I don't want to put you in harms way."
His words caught my attention and I turned, quickly facing his way. "You want me protected? You wanna just now protect me? Where was this energy months ago when purposely sent me to live with May? When was this energy when I almost got raped? Dad WHERE WAS THE FUCKING ENERGY?"
I could feel myself getting heated, but I controlled my emotions, shaking his statement off.
He stood in the corner with his mouth parted. "Ja'Nessa, I will not allow you to speak to me that way. At the end of the day I fucked up, but i'm your father. So talk to me like it."
He stared even harder this time. "You stayed down there for a few months and became a totally different person. Just because May and her parents allowed you to do whatever you wanted does not mean you get to that here. Don't test me Ja'Nessa."
•••
We were finally at the funeral and to my surprise, there were more people here than expected. Even Tino's mom was here with a couple of his friends.
I stood in the back row, beside Brittany, who had a busted lip from getting her ass beat. We went to Jermiah's house and caught him getting head by some girl.
Britany threw a brick at his window and jumped through fast as hell. At first, she was winning and rocking the girls shit, but Jermiah was basically protecting the other female so no hits would slide across her face.
I tried not to involve myself, but I yanked him off so they could continue fighting and they were throwing heavy shots at each other.
The other girl was putting in more work with her fist though. She beat the hell out of Brittany and we had to drag her out the house before another track was pulled off her head.
"I miss my baby boy so much," Tino's mother spoke into the mic and I couldn't help but scoff.
The woman left her son for dead and only showed up at the funeral because she heard that the Westerphern Baptist Church wanted to help her family out by donating some money.
A few other people went up to speak, and one of them happened to be a close friend of Tino's.
"Tino was a good friend," The girl started before looking down at her feet, "He helped me sneak out of the house once, taught me how to wrap a blunt, and one time he got the whole class high off of brownies."
"Ouuu, he's fine," Zara complimented, eyeing a guy, who was far ahead of us. We zoned out the girl who was speaking.
I squinted my eyes for a moment, realizing that it was Marq and right beside him was a head of dreads.
I could feel my heart skip quickly when I saw that it was Jovan. He was sitting around a few other people. Some that I was aware of and the rest I wasn't.
He really looked good. This was probably the first time i've seen him dressed more professional, but I guess it made sense for him to since we were at a funeral.
His eyes were focused on the preacher who was handing Tino's mother a wad of money. He hasn't seen me, but it was expected. It's crazy because I actually wanted him to just notice I was here.
"HELLO?" Zara snapped her fingers in my face, "Did you hear what I said?"
I shook my head. "No, what'd you say?"
"I said... Ouu, the things I would do to that man." She pointed her finger in Marqs direction."
"She also said she'd fuck him raw," Brittany added in, holding the roses tightly in her fingers. "Now that's a sexy man right there."
"Who?" Zara asked and Brit pointed, but I paid no attention to where her finger was going because I kept my eye on Jovan, who had walked out the area to pick up a phone call.
Now Maybelline was on the stage, which I found to be extremely unexpected especially since she was risking herself, knowing that everyone in the hood was aware of what she had done.
While she started speaking, I placed my items down and got up. "I'll be right back."
Excusing myself from the area, I walked out the same entrance Jovan went through, and moment I stepped foot away from the funeral, I felt someone grab my waist.
"Why you staring at me?"
"I wasn't staring at you," I quickly blurted as he took a step back, taking in my appearance.
He leaned against the bricked wall and stared over at everyone else, who we either crying or on the verge to do so. "Yea you was. I seen you when you came in."
He finally lifted his eyes off of everyone else and placed them down on mine. The whole time he looked at me I could feel my heart doing three-sixty flips, in repeat. My cheeks were burning drastically. I wasn't really sure how to feel.
"What's with the ankle monitor?" He finally questioned, snapping me out of my gaze and I lifted my leg up to show him.
"Is you wikipedia?" I asked with my arms crossed, seeing his lips turn up in a small smile at my response.
It was weird seeing him right now, but at the same time it wasn't. The last time we really had the chance to speak, it was beyond awkward since we clearly weren't on the same page. I'm just happy that we were both able to move past it.
He lifted my leg up to see if he could take it off of me while I just went back to staring at him.
"I thought you were in jail," I whispered, feeling my ankle sting a little bit.
"I was, but Sierra and his people got me and Draco out awhile ago," He slid my leg up a little higher so he could see better, "But im leaving again. Imma dip out of the city later. I'm really only still here for the funeral."
"Oh," I mumbled to myself lowly, once he was able to pop it off, "Well.. i'm gonna miss you."
He placed the tracker down on the table, keeping his eyes on me. It seemed like he wanted to say something, but he just kept it to himself.
I bit on my inner lip trying to keep my eyes from becoming glossy, but I couldn't help it. This was really going to be the last time I see him.
When he noticed, he pulled me tightly into his arms and held me as I wrapped mine around his. I could feel his heart beating fast, faster than mine actually.
"I'm really going to miss you," I whispered lowly feeling my voice crack up a little more from the hurt. My emotional side was starting to come out.
I genuinely had feelings for him. Feelings that i've never felt before and part of me was scared of it, but another part of me wasn't.
He didn't say anything but just held me tighter in his arms with his heart racing against mine, just leaving me to smell his moonlight cologne. I was expecting him to let go by now but he wouldn't.
"Nessa," He finally spoke while my tears streamed down my cheeks, "I love you too."
My eyes lit open and I tried to pull away from his hold so I could see he face, but he wouldn't let me go. I never knew how good it felt to be with someone until now.
"Which is why I can't let you stay here." He finally released the hug, but kept his hands plastered on my waist. "I'm leaving in two more nights and I want you to come with me."
I looked at his face to see he was serious. It seemed like he was genuinely thinking about it. I could feel that he actually cared and looking right now in his eyes I could tell he meant the words he was saying. "But my dad.."
"Fuck yo' dad Nessa. This ain't got nothing to do with him. This between me and you."
I nodded my head with a smile and my last tear had slipped out before we leaned in simultaneously, kissing each other.
"I have something for you," I told him with my fingers digging into my purse, which was filled with folded papers and unnecessary items.
"What is it?" He sat down wiping his hand across his eyes.
"Your notebook. Not the one I bought for you but the one I stole." I handed it over to him seeing him grab it and stare at the shredded cover.
"How you get this?" He held it tightly just roaming his finger around the bridled edges and observing each page individually.
"It was in the evidence room. I stole it back. I almost got caught of course, but it was worth it."
He chuckled under his breath just looking at it before holding it in both hands, and slowly pulled the pages apart from each other, ripping it in half.
My mouth dropped opened as he continued to rip it then let the wind sweep it off his fingers into the cold air. "W-why would you do that?"
He and I both sat down watching as the paper, filled with words, twirled around in the sky and disappear into the distance. "Because that's not me anymore. That's my past, and as long as I keep hanging onto my past i'll forever be hurt. And I don't wanna be hurt anymore."
I leaned my head on his shoulder while he wrapped his arm around me. A small smile crept up on my face and I could see it in his too.
"I love it here."
•••
"I AM IN LOVE WITH YOU," I shouted out in my singing voice, "You set me free. I cant do this thing called life without you here with me."
I pulled my hair back into a ponytail as I continued to sing, "CAUSE' I'M... DANGEROUSLY IN LOVE WITH YOU." I fell back onto my bed feeling a smile break free on my lips.
I continued to sing, but let the words roam in my head, with my eyes closed tightly. The only thing on my mind was Jov- My body instantly flinched when I heard my room door swing open, and the knob hit against my wall, causing an old hole to reappear.
"Where is it?" Dad asked, the moment I sat up on my bed. We shared looks with each other for a moment.
"Where's what?"
"Where's the tracker?" He scrambled for my legs, sliding me off the bed a little before bringing my foot up.
I wasn't dumb enough to keep the tracker off because I knew he'd react badly if he noticed it was missing. "It's here dad. It's here."
His face grew into complete relief when he saw that it was still wrapped around my ankle. For some reason, this made me a little relief too and I thought things between us were fine until he yanked my shirt up. "Ja'Nessa..."
"Y-yes?" I asked with a complexed tone. He clearly had seen something he wasn't fucking with, I just didn't know what It was.
"Ja'Nessa.. Ja'Nessa.. Ja'Nessa," He continued pestering with my name, but got louder each time.
"Yes dad?"
"Ja'NESSA, PLEASE, dont tell me that's a hickey on your neck?" He shot his eyes on mine, just waiting for me to respond.
I couldn't lie to him because he's an officer and knows how to pick that shit up, but I couldn't tell the truth either. "Um-"
"Something bit her. It was some sort of bug and I didn't make it any better since I tried smacking it off her neck. That's why it looks like that," Brit hurried to my defence.
My father took a glimpse at her and she stared back with pure confidence in her eyes. If anyone could lie, it was her.
He than turned his attention back on me and kissed my forehead. "I'm sorry baby, I just got worried there for a second. You know I don't want anyone touching you like that. It always reminds me of your Uncle Pa-"
"Okay dad...," I stated awkwardly with my fingers tied together, "I get it. Honestly."
He nodded his head and walked out the room, leaving me with my two best friends, who couldn't help but eye the hickey on my neck.
"Is it that big?" I whispered, bringing myself to the mirror and letting my eyes grow beyond size.
"GIRL, when did you get the time to fuck him? AT A FUNERAL?" Zara asked, clapping her hands together so she could hear all the details. "SPILL!"
I opened my mouth, ready to explain the situation to her, but Brit's words streamed right through mine.
"You worried about the wrong thing Zara. You even lucky I stuck up for you when your daddy came around. Yo' lil' nigga sexy and all, but whatever you got with him you need to cut it out. I promised your daddy i'd watch you."
"Girl, WHAT?" I snapped with a little confusion. "Brit you are not my fucking babysitter and you don't owe my dad any promises. You are a friend so STAY in a friends place!"
Zara nodded her head, simply agreeing to my statement. I didn't like that Brit and my dad were getting so close. I saw that shit from the jump, but ignored it.
"You know what. Get out my house." I ran over to my door and pointed my finger out of it.
"Are you serious?" She asked with shock in her voice, her hand touching her chest dramatically.
"NOW!"
•••