I made my way, to the place where I realized my feelings for him. The only difference this time, was that we were no longer friends.
He stood there leaning against the wall. He was looking at me, I stared back. Still, I couldn't read his face. The same emotionless look plastered on his face.
It was no longer boring; it was just terrifying. I don't know what else was that plain face hiding. What more dark secrets were hidden behind the mask he wore on his face.
"Ayanokouji Kun.." I called him in a low voice. I just couldn't raise my voice; I was too scared just at the thought of him now.
He looked at me with those golden eyes, devoid of any emotions. I could feel myself sinking in a deep abyss of his mind.
"Kamuro" he called out to me, unaffected by the fact that I was shivering while looking at him.
"You... you betrayed me?" I asked him, with a faint hope. That what I was thinking was not true. It was just another lie my mind has made to cope up with her death.
He just kept quiet and made his way towards me. I instinctively stepped back, making him halt.
He looked at me, "Say Kamuro, why did you step back from me now? Are you perhaps scared of me?"
I didn't know if he was mocking me but, his voice sounded very genuine.
"Why wouldn't I be scared of you.. you are responsible for that person's death." I said remembering the conversation I had eavesdropped.
He just sighed and leaned against the wall, "I heard about your sister."
At this my heart started beating faster. Was this the response of my nervous system? I don't know, but still a single mention of her made my body numb. I had moved on from her but still, my heart was clutching at her mention.
He looked at me and said, "Give me one compelling reason your sister deserved to die."
At this my eyes widened; anger consumed me.
"What do you mean by that, I couldn't have done anything. I don't even know how she died. I was going to celebrate my birthday and I was waiting for her to come home but she never returned. She didn't deserve it."
At this point no tears were left in my eyes. Only pain was visible in them.
The pain of being betrayed by my parents. The pain of being betrayed by Ayanokouji Kun. The pain of being betrayed by my own mind.
I didn't know anymore; I just wanted this pain to end.
"Kamuro, have you ever felt regret that you were born in this world?"
I turned towards him; he was just staring at me. I didn't answer him and looked at him, he moved closer to me.
"I have felt regret only once in my life, when I wasn't able to see the person who cared for me again."
As I heard those words from him, an unknown feeling rose in my heart. I was feeling pity at him for some reason.
He was no longer looking at me and turned away.
"You know Kamuro, you keep saying that I was the reason that I killed Matsuo. I was responsible for his death?"
Kamuro flinched at hearing those words. It was as if she was imagining his death, being burned alive. She shook her head and looked back at Ayanokouji who was now looking at the sky.
"Since birth I have been raised as if I am a devil." He said still looking at the sky.
He looked at me and said, "Kamuro even the kindest and purest of hearts can't stop someone's death, what right do I have to stop someone from their fate as a devil?"
He finally turned to me, "Death is something even I don't have monopoly on, death is part and parcel of life. I couldn't stop matsuo's death even if I wanted to, so I don't feel guilt at all. "
At those words I froze, how could he be so casual about death. Does he even know how I felt? I understand he has not had a bright childhood himself but does that make mine any less significant.
"You... why are you trying to expel me... I told you didn't I. I have no interest in telling your secrets to anyone." I said gritting my teeth.
He turned towards me and said those words, which proved that he never considered me as a friend.
"I don't trust you and probably I never will."
I grabbed his collar; he didn't make any move to stop me.
"You... then all this time we met and talked, was that all a lie?" I asked him the dreading question. If he was to say 'Yes' than I don't think I could move on from this.
I looked at him to which he stared with no emotions and said,
"Yes, I've never trusted you, or anyone else."
My voice broke, so did my hold on his collars. Tears were threatening to fall but I held myself and asked, "Am I just like everyone else, a mere pawn for you?"
To which he just kept silent, I wanted to hear it from him. But he didn't speak at all. I stood up wiping my tears and was about to exit when he spoke in a voice only audible to me,
"I would be lying to myself if I said, you were just a mere pawn for me."
I turned back to look at him, he was no longer looking at me and was busy staring at the setting sun.
"Kamuro, don't let your past define you. I've tried my best to escape from my past, but I can't find the courage to. It has now become a part of me. I'm scared to lose the only thing which defines me."
I looked at him as he said those words. That was a very simple advice, but hearing it from him was different. It was as if he had planned for all this, he knew what to say at which moment.
He walked towards me, and stood in front of me with those cold eyes, "I can't trust you, so I can't let you stay in this school. So, save yourself while you can, or you will lose everything in the process."
With those words he walked away, leaving me looking at the sun which had now almost set.
He was right but, "Ayanokouji Kun..."
His footsteps stopped; he was listening.
"You are right, I should really leave my past, behind shouldn't I?"
I didn't hear any answer, nor I wanted to. I just wanted him to listen.
"Then why can't you?" I asked and turned towards him. His back was still facing me. He kept silent not answering me.
I laughed genuinely in a month; how naïve I was. He was right, why was I still stuck in my past? I have always hated my past, then why was I clinging to it? Why not just let it all go?
And so, I let it all go away, and finally faced Ayanokouji Kun with determined eyes,
"Ayanokouji Kun, you are trapped in a cage, and the key is in your own hands, you just have to grab it and open it. Why are you still hesitating?"
Yes, I've been naïve all this time along. Why was I denying my feelings for Ayanokouji, even after knowing he had no choice in his butler's death yet I still blamed him. Now this won't happen. I will save him from this darkness.
I can't deny it anymore, but I care for him. Even after knowing that he might be responsible for someone's death I still love him. I embraced him, to which he stiffened. But I tightened my embrace on him.
He was about to speak but I cut him, "What if I prove to you, even in this cruel world, there are still people whom you can trust? People who won't betray you?"
At this he turned towards me, making me break our embrace. I chuckled seeing his emotion less demeanour and caressed his cheeks, there was no use lying to myself anymore. I've always loved him, and I will continue to. I don't know what was the reason for her love, but maybe similar situation we both were in.
Trapped in cages built by the world, waiting to escape.
Then why not escape it together?
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(A.N. So guys, this was the whole point of this novel, to complete the kamuro's route. Now both Ibuki's and Kamuro's development is over.
Now then who will Ayanokouji choose between Kamuro and Ibuki lol. To be honest I myself haven't decided who is going to end with him from this two, we have to wait for few more volumes.
And don't worry I didn't forget Sato, she does have a crush on him after all. I won't be writing Vol 7 according to the original novel as Ryueen and Ayanokouji Fight has already happened. So thanks for reading.)