Warnings: mentions of suicide, hallucinations
Brett sits in the white room with an uncomfortable robe, the collar starts makes his neck itch. He kicks his feet back and forth as he stares at a poster on the wall. He can hear his mother's voice speaking in the room next door, the quiet chatter making him curious and impatient.
"You seem a bit upset, prince."
Brett looks over to the frog sitting next to him. It's head was a bit tilted to the side and staring wondrously towards Brett who smiled and patted the frog on it's head. "Yeah I am a tiny bit upset." He fakes a frown to make his point more clear although he only ends up laughing.
"Why is young prince upset?" The frog speaks once again, hopping closer to Brett in hopes to cheer the boy up, and it does work because Brett gathers the frog in his arms and smiles even wider.
"Mum is telling some man that I'm not well. It's so absurd!" Brett exclaims, expanding his arms out in a rather dramatic emphasis. "She just doesn't understand me!" He buffs, crossing his arms and legs and rocking his foot back and forth impatiently, all while rolling his eyes.
"That's mean." The frog responds to Brett's behavior, clearly unamused by it, as well as unbothered. It's almost as if it's used to it at this rate. "You should kill her."
Brett shoots a glance towards the frog, the rocking of his foot stopping momentarily as he's registering the frog's words. "E-Excuse me?" He's saying in disbelief.
"Suffocate her."
The images are flashing in his mind before he is even able to think. He's seeing it in front of him. How he'd grasp the pillow tightly in both of his hands and shove it into the face of his mother, pushing hard against the skin and the fabric, making sure to leave no room for oxygen. Brett quickly tries to clear his head from such thoughts but he can't seem to. He's imagining it all more clearly. How she'd fight against him using all her willpower only to fall into the floor unconscious and in need of emergency care. But he wouldn't give it to her. Oh no he wouldn't, he'd smirk down at her simply.
"What the heck is wrong with me." Brett's whispering to himself, trying to surge the thought to the back of his mind.
He was 17 going into new experiences and making new memories as well as going through those weird high school things people go through. He was going into it all head first with zero preparation. He was expecting for Eddy to break his heart in some sort of form, or he was expecting to be stressed beyond belief juggling his violin dreams and his homework. However he never knew he'd be in this white building, dressed in the itchiest robe with his mother talking a lot of awful crap about him.
There was a loud knock on the door at that moment, which caught him completely off guard, and he stumbled a bit back onto the rather hard mattress. A doctor entered the room, dressed in a plain blue shirt that had small bear designs on it and some white pants: the standard look for a doctor.
"Hey Brett!" She says, sounding way too enthusiastic in Brett's opinion, "My name is irrelevant character because the author is too lazy to give me a name! How are you?" She sits down next to Brett, making sure the door is closed before asking any more questions, even so, Brett is uncomfortable around her forced smile.
Brett shrugged. "Fine I guess." He looked away from her face, instead he concentrated on the ceiling. That stain looked like a pineapple. Was it made from a pineapple?
"In order for this to work, you'll need to speak to me of anything you're thinking. What are you thinking about Brett?" She asks who flipping through a few pages of her clipboard.
Brett shrugged once again. That was a question reserved for Eddy and Eddy only.
"You'll be staying here for the next week until we see an improvement, alright? If you need anything, I'll be here to help you, or you can speak to another nurse, alright?" She says with her forced smile, before getting up to leave. "Also, I am told there is a man waiting for you in the reception area."
Brett nods at her and waits for her to leave, listening to the clatter of her heels walk down the hallway and diminish into a silence. Once he's sure she's gone, he hurries to open the door and go into the reception area, completing passing over his mother who was waiting for him. Someone else— someone he considers more important— is waiting for him.
He rushes past other patients dressed in the same white robes as him, while he makes his way passed the double doors, panting ferociously with a smile spread across his face.
"Eddy!"
-
Brett drinks from the aloe vera flavored water (much to his dismay yet Eddy wouldn't let him leave until he finished at least a fourth of the bottle), letting his head rest on Eddy's shoulder.
Everything was quiet in the moment, he could only hear Eddy's breaths against his ear and the soft rustling of the trees nearby, it was peaceful in both minds at least.
"A week huh?" Eddy finally says, turning his head to look at Brett, who had long since closed his eyes to focus his attention to the sound of Eddy's heartbeat. It was a slow rhythm, it was melodic in a way, soothing him down to the core. That's just the effect Eddy had on just about anyone. Brett hummed in response to Eddy, moving his head to Eddy's lap to be in a much more comfortable position.
"Are you nervous?" Eddy asks, putting a hand into Brett's hair and running his fingers through the soft strands, careful to not tug too harshly on the small knots as to not hurt Brett.
Brett shakes his head, relaxing into Eddy's hold. "Why would I be?" He whispers.
Eddy shrugs, looking up towards the reddening sky. The sun would be setting soon, and it was giving the clouds an ombré like affect— you know, the typical kind of setting to have this kind of conversation, cliche— I know.
"I just thought you might be a bit nervous is all." Eddy says.
The silence between them during this moment is comforting, settling over them like a fuzzy warm blanket, giving both that lovely feeling of love as it danced and sprouted around their chests.
"You know you can lean on me." Eddy adds, looking down at his lap towards Brett, a bit afraid he had gone to sleep. But Brett proved he was awake with turning his head to stare up to Eddy with a small smile on his face.
"I am leaning on you," Brett says matter of factly, switching his position a little. "See?" He settles his head further into Eddy's lap, the back of his head making contact with the soft fabric of Eddy's sweatpants.
Eddy chuckles a bit, letting Brett hold his hand. "I mean— metaphorically... I'll always be here for you, you know that right?" He's whispering in a soothing voice, and Brett wills himself to close his eyes once again.
The fingers carding through his hair are relaxing his bones so dearly, Brett's sure he's turning into some weird jelly at this point. "You're unbelievable Eddy.. so unbelievable..."
"Do you trust me?"
"Why wouldn't I?"
"I was just wondering.."
"I'm afraid I'm going to hurt you."
Eddy furrows his eyebrows, looking at Brett with a confused stare, but Brett had his head titled to the side to watch the sun hide behind the horizon and watch the color drain from the sky into a dark blue and black molded together. But Eddy knew Brett more than he could ever know himself even. He knew him by heart, by soul, he knew him with his very life.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that." Brett says, and there's a crack in his voice. The salt water starts to fill up his eyes, and Eddy hates himself for thinking how beautiful Brett looks even with puffed eyes. He's so flawless.
"You've already hurt me Brett."
Brett turns to look at Eddy, just as a small cry erupts through his throat, and he caves into Eddy's chest, letting himself fall apart.
"Oh Brett.." Eddy whispers, kissing his head. "That's what love is.. we'll hurt each other however many times we want but in the end we'll only end up healing each other, don't you understand?"
But Brett continues to sob heavily, and soon.. Eddy blinks out tears of his own. Mixing both of their filthy salt water together was one of the most prized moments of their lives, as they share one kiss after another and a hug to a cuddle, it's during a moment when both are shaking and both are wishing for the world to simply eat them up, it's during a moment like this where they truly end up understanding one another.
Eddy's heart is rapidly beating against Brett's, and he lets himself dwell in the intimacy that both their bodies share.
"I'm yours." Eddy whispers into Brett's ear before he kisses his neck tenderly, making sure to hold him as close as he could when he does so. He plants a total of fifteen chaste kisses along his face and neck, imprinting every small memory of pain into his skin, and Brett returns the favor.
"So you're saying I can hurt you all I want?" Brett asks, looking at Eddy straight in the eyes as he holds his face with the palms of his hands.
"Precisely...as long as you heal me."
Brett laughs a bit, and then he throws his head back, letting his glasses fall off his face in the process. There's the Brett Eddy knows and cherishes. One who laughs for no reason except to let the happiness flow through him in rivers and waterfalls. He wishes he could be like Brett— ignorant to his own internal struggles. He wishes he could live his life without worrying over a small mistake he's made or of a choice he's about to finalize. Brett does things on a whim, and Eddy has come to learn that maybe he could do the same, it could be a lot more rewarding. If it hadn't been for Brett's hand that afternoon in the park, he doesn't even know where he'd be right now.
Probably dead.
He would've killed himself.
The warmth of a stranger's hand.
That's what had centered him.
Brett stands up from Eddy's lap, giving him one last smile before he's walking in the direction of the hospital doors, tears long wiped and snot gone. His glasses were once again repositioned on his face, not well aligned but good enough to be useful.
"A week?" Eddy calls after him.
Brett nods, pushing his hands into the pockets of his jeans.
"Will you be okay?"
Brett laughs. "Eddy, will you be okay?"
Eddy shakes his head, returning the sheepish smile. "You know I won't."
Brett's skips towards the entrance backwards, keeping his eyes locked into Eddy's even as he stands up from his place on the ground. "It's only one week Eddy! As long as I say the right things and act the correct way, they'll think I'm fixed and I'll be out of here!" He says as he enters the hospital, leaving Eddy alone with the moon.
He sighs and stares at his hands.
"I love you Brett."