I was thrown off balance with my thoughts. At one hand, I had ignored this man from the very start because I did not want to feed into this sensual yet lustful side of myself. I hated the thoughts, I made up in my head when I was alone. I hated the arousal and instant attraction, I had started feeling towards him. I was not naive, I simply remained quiet and observant of my surroundings. The logic in my mind was I was no longer a virgin so what was the point. Without a doubt, I knew he was right. I— had participated but when he started calling me Anna, I tried to pullback but it was too late. I had kissed him back with no intention that it would go farther into him deflowering me. The only reasoning that made me glad, I could finally visit home. Something, I knew would never have been possible in years and years or even till my death. I couldn't tell if Lord Hugh a genuinely nice person or perhaps he was a nice person with a motive. Whatever his motive had been, they seemed to benefit me as well. I realised me being intimate with him, would grant me many favours. I had watched my aunt Ruth toy with white men for years or rather any men who held larger value. When I'd witnessed Beatrice being with Lord Hugh, I became aware of the fact that I was hindering the possibility of a good life for myself by keeping my legs closed. It sounded shallow but proved to be right when I begged to visit my family after one night of him being with me.
For a very long time, I hated the thought of living my aunts life of adultery. I had always assumed my mother had been sold off but I was wrong. Before I left home for this nanny pursuit. Aunt Ruth had finally sat me down and told me in detail what had happened to my mother. I had to live with the knowledge that a white man had dehumanised my mother in every possible way then left her for death to devour and take away. Panashe and William had given everyone a tad bit of hope that things could be different. At the thought of my mother I knew it wasn't. It did not take away the fact that they were horrible people. I was still distraught by the revelation. Coming here I thought I could be different, I had really assumed I could but I was wrong. I wanted to save myself for marriage and marry, it seemed even fate had different plans for me. There was no point in running away from something that was well instilled in my bloodline.
"Are you alright?" Lord Hugh questioned on top of me. "Are you having second thoughts?" His eyes were a much darker green in the dim set up. I shook my head as I allowed him to kiss me. My stomach revolted with disgust for myself. My lust and disgust fought for dominance within me. His lips were soft and his touch gentle. I reminded myself he was a womaniser and he knew exactly what he was doing. His hands were experienced within the way he touched me. He was gentle with every kiss caress and stroke. I still flinched at the spasm of having him inside me. It still felt foreign, my eyes threatened to water as he pushed for more. I became moist with each stroke. He stretched me to a capacity, I had no knowledge of holding. He laid kisses on my neck and bare chest. It was soothing. I refused to make eye contact even though he seemed to be searching for it. His torso was chiselled, his veins more visible as he held his weight up as to not entirely rest on me.
Undeniably, it felt good. My thoughts ran off to a different place. I held onto his strong shoulders as he ploughed into me. I whimpered beneath him, a thought immediately crossed my mind. I was disappointed within myself. Watching him groan and compliment me, I was disappointed within myself but my lust wouldn't allow me to properly process those thoughts. I decided to forget all this overthinking and focus on him.
"You're so so beautiful!" He groaned out of breath in my ear as he took me. I opened my legs wider allowing him full entrance into me. He was a good looking man, I watched as his forest green eyes flickered towards every angle of my body. His hands softly massaged my breasts. I felt myself finally relax and enjoy the moment with him. He was well endowed, I could never deny that. I felt it that night and I felt it in this moment. He hit places I did not know existed within me. He had this smirk that turned into a smile every-time we kissed. His blonde locks fell in between our foreheads as our tongues fought for dominance. He fit so perfectly in my like a hand in glove. I was slowly adjusting to him, it was bittersweet pain. He made me involuntarily moan and make sounds I did not want to. I never wanted to give him satisfaction of knowing he made my body weak with absolute pleasure.
My body betrayed me. My lips betrayed me as I gave into saying his name in repetitive ecstatic whispers. They gave natural and it seemed like motivation to him. Every-time I did, he went faster and harder. I closed my eyes every-time we kissed. His fingers flicked over the buds of my aroused nipples. It was leading me to a place I had no knowledge of. As if we were running a race and suddenly we'd hit a finish line. I had never felt this way before. I felt myself tighten around him, he groaned heavily. Before I knew it, I felt as if my body had fell off a cliff into a pile of tingling ecstasy. A sensual release that made my whole body shake in calculated motions of pleasure. I found myself not having control of myself or the things I was saying to Hugh. I found myself hypnotised by how good it felt before everything suddenly went numb. My whole body tingled as I felt Hugh release inside me. In slow motions he moved in and out as his cum dripped out of me. I had never felt anything like it, just like that I was addicted to this man. I opened my eyes one more time to watch him watching me.
"Good Lord, Nora you're some type of drug!" Hugh muttered rolling over to his side of the bed. I stared at the ceiling not knowing what else to say. I felt tired, happy, fulfilled all these mixed feelings but a small dent of regret was making itself known within me.
"Lord Hugh—" he cut me off.
"Not so long ago, I was simply Hugh now it's Lord Hugh. Please..." He made a banter pulling me closer.
"I don't think you were supposed to..."
He knew exactly what I was talking about.
Smiling he shrugged, pulling me closer. "Nothing will occur."
"What do you mean?"
"Just trust me Nora. There won't be any baby. Learn to trust me and we should be okay." With that he laid a gentle kiss on my forehead.
I remained quiet. Lewis was still sound asleep in his cradle. How had he managed to sleep throughout all that noise. My moans, his grunts and skin slamming again skin. It all felt loud to me and I felt embarrassed for the others in the next room.
"How long will we be staying?" I asked changing the subject, I felt sticky in between. I desperately needed a bath but I was exhausted and sore.
"A week, then we'd have to come back. I have a lot on my hands. Over 300 delegates from England, Scotland, Wales and Ireland will travel to the office of the Prime Minister to call for the immediate abolition of slavery throughout the British Empire. Suppose from there on, a lot will occur. You will hardly see much of me with constant travel and my duties as the son of duke of Winchester."
"Don't give yourself a pat on the back, I wouldn't miss you."
"You enjoy hurting my feelings don't you?" He smirked. I shook my head, I had lived without him all my life why would I suddenly care for his whereabouts? It did not move me.
"I'm sure Beatrice would."
"Of course."
"It's best you do not mention this to her. I do not like unnecessary conflicts. I do not care for what you do with her. I simply ask that you please me, I please you and we forget about it as soon as it's done."
"Well, you're a woman of short words."
"Suppose, I am." I shrugged getting up, I pulled the white linen sheets with me. Before leaving I couldn't help but turning back. "How do you feel about all this slavery ruckus? They've been promising to end it even before I was born but here we're twenty-two years later. The royal family is full of hypocrites."
"You're twenty-two?"
I only stared at him in disbelief as I held a tight grip on the sheets that covered my bare body. He seemed most comfortable walking around bare, I saw no flaw. I still found myself self conscious around him. He had seen and been with many others.
"Is that the only thing you heard?"
He chuckled running a hand through his blonde hair. "It's perfect that's all."
"For what?" At this point I was confused.
"The royal family, you're calling hypocrites are my family imagine when I tell them—"
I knew he was being sarcastic, I simply ran with it. "Tell them that the slave girl, I slept with thinks you're hypocrites. You'd have to be extremely brainless to go around confidently speaking in that fashion."
Hugh smiled.
"You're right but from the looks of things by august 28th it should be done. I promise."
"If not then what?"
"Hit me in the face!"
I rolled my eyes.
"Twice!"
"Has anyone ever told you that you're such flunk Hugh Armstrong?" I said shaking my head in disbelief as I headed towards the washroom. Within a few minutes, he had me over his shoulder tickling me. There was absolutely nothing I had pure disdain for than that. "I'm giving you a royal order to say it to my face."
"Royal order? You're not some prince!" I laughed in his face.
"Third cousin counts right?"
"Not to me." I shrieked when he tickled me for that comment.
Before I could respond we had Lewis cry in his cradle. We both knew, alone time was over. I somehow convinced him, I desperately needed a bath and he had no choice but to spend time with Lewis. He seemed aggravated but nonetheless took it. I suddenly had a good feeling befriending the son of a duke wouldn't be so bad. I thought of all the benefits I'd have none of them sexual. He was somewhat tolerable, I could handle that. I couldn't wait to tell my aunt Ruth that she was right, a white man was controllable as long as I knew my place. For my mother's sake, I'd never give into foolery of any romance.
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