Warning for alcohol abuse and suicidal thoughts.
Katya was still way too drunk for this.
She gathered her clothes from the strange woman's bedroom floor. The woman whose name she couldn't remember at six in the morning. Last night she was good enough company to forget Natasha for a while. If Katya didn't focus too much and drank enough alcohol and closed her eyes while the woman kissed her, she could almost picture it.
But then the sun rose and Katya saw how her red hair color was slightly off and wasn't nearly as fiery as Natasha's. That's when the guilt crept in, the guilt she had slept with another. Five years had passed, but it would always feel like cheating. Because nobody could ever replace her fiancée, no matter how hard she tried.
The thing was, Katya didn't want to replace Natasha, but the pain got so much sometimes that she had to try and forget her. It never worked. She'd always show up in her dreams or in a memory flash playing behind her eyelids.
It had been five years and Katya Petrova was still hopelessly in love with Natasha Romanoff.
Tokyo was crowded, even after the Snap, and Katya pulled her hood over her head to block the loud noises and bright morning sun. Her weapons she had left in her own apartment. Tokyo was her base of operations, the farthest away from home she could find. This was also one of the only countries she hadn't been with Natasha.
The nightlife was lively and the busy city distracted her during the day and the nights she didn't work. On the nights she did though, she didn't wear the short dress she wore now. No, at night she wore her suit, staff on her back and knives and guns on her hips. How Tokyo police hadn't traced that vigilante back to the Russian woman living in one of the better neighborhoods, Katya had no idea.
Maybe they expected her to have brown hair still, like she had with the Avengers. But it was blonde again. Like Katariina, like Natasha loved so much. Also because brunette Katya had lost her fiancée and blonde Katya still had her in another life.
She knew she was being pathetic, but this was her life now. It existed of alcohol and blood, anything to distract her from reality and from the hole in her chest. She simply didn't care about anything anymore.
Katya's neighbor came out of his apartment when she put the key into her own lock. She tried avoiding his eyes, but the Japanese were always friendly and didn't say anything about the state she was in. She was pretty sure she had scared the young man away a long time ago. She could see in his eyes he feared her, even though she had never done anything to make him that way. The smell of danger hung around her.
''Kon'nichiwa,'' the man greeted with a kind smile, ready to leave for work.
Katya gave him a curt bow and repeated the words, the smile falling off her face after the door of her apartment fell into the lock. She sighed, looked at the insane mess inside and fell onto the bed, wishing she could sleep. But sleep didn't come easy anymore.
She dragged herself into the shower, ignored the hickeys on her chest and tried to wash the shame away and swallow the nausea. She did not want to throw up today. Making some coffee for herself after showering, she sat down on her bed, opening the laptop she had stolen from a guy on the street somewhere in Europe before she had permanently settled in Tokyo.
Her phone lay next to her crossed legs. It was number three this month already. She kept changing her phone and number every week to prevent anyone from finding her. For some reason, they had never pinged her laptop. Probably because she had forced a Japanese hacker under gunshot to install the best firewalls for her.
During the days, Katya looked for her next targets, did all the research she needed to determine where to go the following night. She hadn't just landed in Tokyo to get away from home, but also because the Japanese mafia had grown in power since the Snap. The Yakuza ruled the streets when it came to crime. Drug trafficking, prostitution, human trafficking, illegal gambling, nothing was too crazy for them.
She had her sights on the leader of the local syndicate; Akihiko. And tomorrow night, she knew where he would be. The only thing she had to figure out was the best way to go at it. Where were alleys she could hide? Places to escape? How many guards would he bring?
With the curtains closed, Katya did her research on her bed, avoiding eating anything until she felt she wouldn't throw up. She needed to sober up and gain some strength for tonight, when she would need to slip into the office of a club owner of one of the best clubs in town. Because in his vault, the gang had some of their money stored. And with some, she meant a lot. Stacks and stacks of paper money that would burn nicely.
It was a backup plan in case she couldn't manage to take out the leader tomorrow. At least they would miss some money.
For her plan to work though, she would need a new outfit, a very skimpy one. Because the only way to get into the office was to be let in, and to get that far, she had to seduce the club owner. And since all her dresses had been worn already or were stained with blood, she needed to go to the shops, great. Twirling her long hair into a bun, stuffing money and phone into the pockets of her long coat, Katya opened her umbrella and hurried to the one shop she had always gone to here.
The owner greeted her kindly, knowing her by her fake name by now: Yua. Because even though Katya looked European, her Japanese sounded so flawless and without accent, she could easily pass for a Tokyo-born woman. Her parents simply moved here from Russia at thirty years old.
''Ikaga nasaimashita ka?'' (Can I help you?) the owner asked Katya softly. If she had an opinion about the job she suspected Katya bought these outfits for, she didn't show it.
''Īe, kekkōdesu. Watashi wa tada sagashiteimasu,'' (No, thank you. I'm just looking) Katya answered carefully. The woman nodded and left her to it. Creating an alter ego and slipping into her skin came natural for Katya. A spy had to be a lot of people, and Yua was incredibly kind and soft, but had a wild side, kind of dirty, which only came out at night.
Katya twirled around in front of the mirror, the dress skintight and showing all the right things. It barely reached the bottom of her butt and showed a lot of cleavage, which was exactly what she aimed for. Her eyes jumped over the deep scar on her shoulder and the one in her leg, a greeting gift from Natasha from Serbia.
''Kore onegaishimasu.'' (This one, please) Katya placed the dress on the counter, payed for it and dragged herself home. Her stomach growled so heavily, she had to stop at a small diner. She ordered the first thing on the menu, chewing and swallowing without tasting anything. A TV played on the wall across from her. She listened to it but kept her eyes on her food.
The newsreader told the guests about all the drama and sadness in the world. Nothing new, lots of missing person's cases nobody paid attention to anymore. Katya's mind drifted off, but she got punched in her stomach when a very familiar name reached her ears.
Tony Stark.
Her eyes flickered to the TV on their own accord. And there it was, the news article. Tony Stark arriving at the Avengers Compound. Nobody had seen him in five years, so this was big news. According to the newsreader, other Avengers had been seen entering the Compound too, like something was happening.
The wooden sticks in Katya's hands trembled, blood draining from her face. Everything rushed back, all the memories, the laughter, the jokes. Blindly, her hand grabbed her bag and she stumbled out the tiny restaurant, people staring at her weirdly.
Her lungs wouldn't fill with air, her heart drilling out of her chest. She forced the memories back to where she had stored them far away, but they couldn't be pushed back.
Luckily, her apartment was close. Katya ran up the stairs without seeing anything, threw the door open, rushed to the bathroom and threw up all the dinner she had just eaten. Tears streamed down her cheeks as everything hurt and she felt so hot sweat dripped down her forehead.
She flushed the toilet when her stomach was empty and curled up into a ball on the cold tiles. All the pain rushed over her in waves and she simply let it happen, once happy memories threatening to tear her apart now. Flashes of green eyes, her fingers through red hair, those full lips that tasted so good, rosy cheeks if she managed to make her blush, their naked bodies pressed together.
Katya let it all in, wishing it would finally destroy her. But the seconds passed and she was still conscious and alive. How many times she thought about ending it, but she never did, because it isn't what she would have wanted.
Long after it had turned dark outside, Katya forced herself up. Sliding on that mask got easier every time she did it. One second she was the broken Russian without a home, and the next she was Yua, the nice girl looking for innocent adventure, full of dreams and hopes.
Curling her hair and putting on heavy makeup, Katya forgot about her episode slowly. She ripped the tag from the new dress and put it on her very thin body, her hipbones sticking out much more than they should.
Fortunately, it didn't rain anymore, so with her long coat wrapped around her body tightly, Katya made her way to the luxurious nightclub, heels clicking on the stones. She had done her work, the bouncer recognized her and let her in without having to wait in line. The man inside took her coat and hung it on the rack, the loud music making it impossible to say anything to him.
Katya let the sounds take over her brain, it was impossible to think in this noise, exactly how she liked it. This bar had some of the best drinks she had ever tasted, so she started drinking immediately, finishing the first glass within seconds, ordering another one quickly. She didn't need courage for her mission, but she needed to feel better, lighter.
The club was dark and lights flashed heavily, but it was easy to spot the club owner. He sat in the VIP area on the balcony, overlooking the crowd, his eyes hungrily sweeping over the people. This would be much easier than Katya expected.
Cringing at the thought of having to force herself onto men, she carefully scanned the crowd for her victim. Not a perfect crowd tonight, but a duo danced in the middle of the dancefloor, desperately looking for any female attention. The only reason Katya went over there was because the club owner, Akio, had a perfect view of her. She already stood out with her pastel blue wig, but this would be perfect.
Without saying anything, she pushed her body in between the two men's, smiling innocently at the wide-eyed young man. He almost licked his lips but had too much respect for her to eye the cleavage she shoved into his face. Looping her arms around his neck and pressing her body against him, his friend behind her sandwiched her, grabbing her hips.
The urge to rip his arms off was strong, but Katya clenched her teeth together and kept smiling innocently. The guy in front of her stared at her face intently but she wouldn't give him the satisfaction of making out with him, so he did it for her, diving down and kissing her neck. Perfect, now she could stare up at the club owner who had already found her eyes.
She challenged him, letting the guys continue their assault on her neck and shoulders. The stare-off was so intense, but Katya refused to break it. Akio swallowed thickly and waved to his security guard, ordering him something she couldn't hear.
Katya smirked victoriously, waiting for a large man to interrupt this one-sided make out session she was enjoying now.
''Sumimasen, ojōsan? Jōshi wa kare no ofisu de anata no sonzai o yōkyū shimasu.'' (Excuse me, Miss? Boss requests your presence in his office.) A tall and broad man had tapped Katya on her shoulder, the two men around her backing off.
''Watashi? Hai.'' (Me? Okay) she answered in fake excitement, as if this came as a complete surprise while in fact, this was exactly what she came her for. Please let him not be in his office yet so she didn't have to sleep with him first. Hopefully she could slip in, set the money on fire and slip out again without ever meeting him in person.
She wobbled up the stairs in her high heels, really wishing she had taken a lot more drinks before doing this. But she needed to be sober enough to complete the mission.
The security guard pushed thick doors open on the first floor, the railing on Katya's left keeping her from falling down onto the dancefloor below. She giggled childishly when he let her into the office, telling her to stay put and that Akio would be there any second. The door shut behind him and Katya got to work.
She hurried to the back wall, trailing her fingers over the seemingly boring wallpaper. But when she had the right spot, pushed twice quickly. With a quiet hiss, the wall slid open just enough for her to slip through. Behind it was the huge vault. It was one of those with the six-foot-high, round steel door and the wheel you had to twist.
Lucky for her, she knew these vaults, had studied them for weeks before doing this mission. The bracelet around her arm wasn't just an accessory, it sent small electrical pulses through the lock, triggering a default and opening it, if she was right at least.
Katya didn't look over her shoulder but kept her ears alert as she unclasped the silver chain and stuck it to the lock. Pressing the tiny button on the side, she stepped back and waited five seconds, holding her breath in anticipation the whole time. It wouldn't be too big of a problem if this didn't work. It would just be a failed mission, nothing lost but nothing gained either.
Luckily, the lock did indeed blow and Katya could twist the wheel. She held her breath, praying her intel was good, but what she found didn't disappoint. Money stacked so high it reached her chest, bills of thousand dollars tied together into packages. Billions of dollars were stored here and it only took a spark to see it all go up in smoke.
Now, for fire, Katya had thought of that too. The small watch around her other wrist wasn't just a normal watch either. It had a small mechanism inside it that could cause a small explosion. Explosion means fire.
With still no sounds behind her, Katya activated the watch, threw it onto the pile and watched how it exploded before her eyes. It barely made a sound, but the smell of burned paper filled the air. Like a psychopath, she watched as it all burned, the flames dancing in her eyes. It was mesmerizing, destruction. There was something so beautiful to it.
Closing the vault door wasn't an option. The fire would consume all the oxygen within the steel box quickly, putting it out before it could burn through the first layer. The only thing Katya could do was close the wall of the office, hoping the room the vault was placed in, provided enough oxygen to keep the fire burning.
Hastily, she trotted back to the office door, peeked out carefully and upon not seeing any guards or other employees of Akio, snuck out the back door she knew of. On her way out of the club, she avoided the cameras and pulled the fire alarm at the exit. This building didn't have sprinklers, so it didn't harm her plan, but Katya didn't want to suffocate all the partygoers on the dancefloor or burn them alive. This way, they had enough time to get out before the fire spread.
With a small smirk on her lips, Katya walked down the dark alley, pulling the wig from her head and throwing it into the darkness, letting her blonde hair fall down. She could hear the screaming inside and on the other side of the building by the front door. It didn't bother her, all she felt was satisfaction that her plan worked.
Missions like these made her feel alive, got her heart beating and adrenaline running. The thrill is everything she lived for.
Way earlier than expected, Katya reached her apartment, kicked off her shoes and fell onto her bed. With the curtains closed from the daytime, she fell asleep on top of the sheets, exhausted both mentally and physically.
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A/N: extra chapter today because the last one was barely any different :)