*Disclaimer: Cultural information was gathered second hand so apologies for any mistakes or discrepancies.
First part has no sexual scenes. That is on the second part*
A Friendship Through the Ages [Straight]
Mumbai. High school. 10th Standard.
"Psst. Hey. Hey."
Shruti turns to give her classmate a deadpan look. Rather than be embarrassed this girl has the audacity to simply jerk her head to the left. Shruti simply rolls her eyes and silently groans. Fuck her life.
She fully intends to ignore the girl but that's when a pencil hits the back of her head. She knows this because she feels it and picks up the tiny weapon from the floor. Thankfully the teacher still drones on at the front of the class. This time her deadpan look is a glare but still her classmate persists. With no other choice since well, it could be a compass that's aimed at her next, she lifts her elbow causing it to nudge against the guy next to her.
He turns to face her, his hazel eyes catching the light and causing the flecks of green in them to glow. His skin is a light golden colour contrasted by his dark hair and he has those strong features slowly starting to come in as he progresses through puberty. Okay so she totally gets why someone would throw a pencil (or a compass) at another person for him.
But it's just hormones and a good looking boy. Shruti can pretend she doesn't notice it for the sake of her own sanity.
She shakes her head and slides over the note.
Since this is the billionth time this has happened, he doesn't look confused anymore. Instead he unfolds the little paper under his desk and reads it. Shruti's pretty sure she already knows what it says but she leans in and reads it anyway. It's only when he looks up, she realises how close they are and despite her rapid heartbeat at it she makes a gagging motion which causes his lips to tilt up in a smile.
"Another one to add to the fan club," she mutters, "how many is that now?"
He just shrugs nonchalantly and folds up the note, keeping it aside.
"I don't know. It doesn't matter anyway."
"Seriously?" whispers back Shruti.
She knows he's straight. They've watched movies together. No gay man stares at Katrina Kaif like that. So why the reluctance. Is it...because of her? No. No way. Her and him. Of course not.
"Yeah why?"
She narrows her eyes at him as he looks away.
"Dhruv..." she drawls. They've known each other since preschool and been friends from first grade. She knows when he's hiding something.
"Okay fine," he sighs after only a few minutes of her silence.
Shruti smiles in victory. Cracking him has always been easy for her.
"It's Sara."
"What's Sara?"
Sara Kapoor is maybe one of the prettiest girls in their grade. If he has a crush on her then he's not the only boy, there's a long line of them. It's also a bonus to them that her parents are pretty liberal. They let her colour her hair, they let her wear makeup that's not just kajol and they even let her bring over boy friends which is basically their equivalent of dating. It also doesn't help that Sara is nice (a little vapid but sweet nonetheless). Despite all the attention, she's not like one of those bitchy mean girls. Shruti hates her but also kind of wants to be her.
"Sara is you know," prompts Dhruv.
It's been a long day. That's the only reason Shruti can explain why she's still confused by his words.
"She's what?"
"My girlfriend."
Shruti can't suppress her snort of laughter. As it escapes her kids around them glance their way but then look back as they fall silent.
"Does she know that?" she finally asks Dhruv.
A lot of guys in their grade claim to have girlfriends but if you ask their supposed girlfriends they'll say they don't even know the guy.
Dhruv just shoots her an annoyed side glance and mumbles, "yes Madrasi, she knows that."
Shruti's back goes straight at the insulting slur. Yes her family is from the Southern state of Tamil Nadu and yes she is dark skinned but she's not from 'Madras'.
"Don't fucking call me that," she hisses back now just as pissed off with him as he seems to be with her.
Fine, whatever.
She was only teasing him. He was being mean and she won't take it. Not from him.
*****************
Like with friends, their feud doesn't last long. In fact by the end of the class when the bell rings and they start packing up their books, he pokes her in the side.
"Hey S. Come on, Shruti don't be like that."
She just ignores him and continues packing away her things. Zipping up her back and squatting away his pokes and prods.
"Shruti. Shruti," he sings but with great difficulty she ignores him and the looks they get from around them. Before she can walk away though with a huff, he pulls on her backpack and jolts her backwards into him.
So much taller than her, he easily puts his arm around her shoulders and shakes her until she has no choice but to squeak at him to stop.
"I'm sorry," he says sincerely.
She rolls her eyes and let's it go. Only because she wants to know all about him and Sara. The gossip is too good.
"You can make it up to me by buying me a Cadbury bar," she demands since the price of her forgiveness really is only feeding her addiction.
"Alright you got it," he grins, letting her go and walking with her towards the front gate of their school.
"So why does everyone not know about Sara and you already?"
Dhruv is so quiet for a moment that Shruti thinks he didn't hear her but when she glances up she notes that he has a slightly guarded, hardened expression on his face.
"Because," he starts, "Sara's parents are liberal but not that liberal. They don't like me or my mom."
Understanding dawns on Shruti. Ah. Dhruv by all accounts in their world should coast by with his good looks, good grades and having the luck to be born with a penis. However the one thing valued in their society that he lacks is a 'good' family lineage. His mom was a famous actress in her day who even went off to do movies in Hollywood. The scandals soon followed after that. She dated a white American producer which was unheard of at that time and then a few months later when she returned having broken things off with him, people weren't too kind. Of course it doesn't end there with an interracial relationship. She quickly married an Indian TV network executive, some say suspiciously too quickly, because after a very short period of time into their marriage she had Dhruv. Officially they claim him to be born in wedlock but anyone with eyes can see that he is definitely bi-racial or at the very least not that network executive's son. Still nobody's going to challenge them so instead they very quietly shun him. Naturally Shruti doesn't agree with it. He's done nothing wrong. She doesn't even think his mom did anything wrong but alas, this is the society they live in.
"Shit dude, I'm sorry," she hopelessly states.
"It's fine. I don't care. It's not like we'll get married or anything."
Those are all fair points and he says it in a casual enough tone but Shruti can see how it cuts him. She wishes she could do something to change it but she can't. All she can do is be his friend.
7 years later
"Shruti! Hey, I didn't even know you got here! Grab yourself a drink okay? I'll be right there."
Shruti gives a thumbs up at her friend and wades her way through the crowd to the drinks table. She pours herself some vodka and adds a dash of Coke when Sara appears again.
She places down the drink and hugs her friend tightly before letting go. Sara's really gone all out with the party. She has the lights dimmed low, a disco like ball projecting colours around them and plenty of drinks. The furniture is pushed back too and she's hung up some streamers or something as well.
Shruti never thought her and Sara would be friends, in fact she didn't really think she'd meet anyone from high school again. The one person she thought would keep in touch didn't and then well...life moves on. Except she came back to the city after college and as luck would have it the company she got a job in is also the same one Sara works at so they sort of drifted together and are now not just colleagues but friends.
"So why are you having this party again?" asks Shruti with a laugh and takes a sip of her drink only to wince. Too much vodka but damn her cup is full so she'll just have to tough it out.
"Babe, do I need a reason?"
No that's true. Sara is a true party girl. Shruti follows her social media and Sara definitely has a full social life. It's maybe one of the reasons they're only friends, not best friends. There's no way Shruti could keep up with Sara.
"No, no you don't that's true. Is Jay here?"
Jay being Sara's on-off boyfriend. Shruti's not sure which stage of the cycle they're in right now and she doesn't want to put her foot in it by saying something to piss off Sara.
"Oh you know he's around here somewhere. He's finally being good for once. Last week he bought me this fabulous necklace so well, of course I had to forgive him."
Shruti wisely doesn't comment and instead sips her drink. Jay being good just means that he's not chasing some other girl...yet.
"But hey listen," conspires Sara, "guess who might be coming tonight?"
"I don't know? Who?"
"Guess!"
Shruti just guesses some random E-list celebs since Sara somehow does know some of the low famed ones. But to all her guesses Sara just shakes her head, the excitement growing in her until she can no longer contain it.
"Dhruv!"
"Dhruv who?"
"Dhruv from high school! You know like my ex-ex-ex-ex...ex-bf? Weren't you guys like super close friends?"
Shruti feels her heart drop like an anvil to her stomach. Dhruv might be here? Her body freezes as her thoughts race. There's no bad blood between them. They just lost touch which happens. The last she heard he was going to study in America so with the time zone gap and distance and everything they just stopped talking. Though why does the thought of seeing him again make her heart race? Is it excitement or nerves or pain? She can't tell. It's too confusing.
"Oh yeah," she manages to hallowly grit out realising Sara's still waiting on her to say something.
"Okay well, he said maybe so we'll see. Anyway, enjoy the party babe, I've got to go mingle."
With that Sara flounces off, leaving Shruti dazed and confused. She takes gulps of her drink, sucking it back like it's water and slamming the empty cup down. What if things are too awkward? What if it's all weird and not the same anymore? She can't do it. She needs to get out of here. Shruti pushes past people, blindly trying to make her way to the exit when somehow she ends up in the bathroom.
Still at least it's a quiet place. Alone in the brightly lit room, she can only faintly hear the pulsing music outside. She runs her hands through her hair, taking deep breaths to calm down as the alcohol churns in her gut. This is fine. Everything's fine. Nothing to freak out over. It's only Dhruv. She knows him. Or well, she knew him. What if he's completely different now? Maybe he'll think he's too good for her now. That thought stabs her heart but she pushes past it. If she tries hard enough she can pretend that that's just the pain of losing a friend for good this time, not something else ridiculous like love. She stares at herself in the mirror and wipes at the smudge of eyeliner under her eye.
It's just Dhruv, she repeats.
He'll be just the same old Dhruv and even though she looks a lot different now, she's still the same old Shruti. Nothing has to have changed.
With that Shruti finds the confidence to return to the party. Wisely she chooses not to drink any more hard alcohol for the time being, instead grabbing a beer and joining in with a group conversation between some colleagues she recognises from the office. That first half an hour she can't help but keep glancing around and watching the door for anyone resembling Dhruv to walk by. However as time ticks by and it doesn't happen, she slowly starts to relax even as somewhere in the back of her mind she feels disappointment. It might be the healthiest thing to say but the alcohol definitely helps her to forget about that small, insignificant part.
Hours pass by. At one point she starts dancing with a bunch of people in the centre of the room- a makeshift dance floor. Then getting too hot, she moves to the balcony where the smokers are. One of them offers her a drag but she refuses. She's tried it but it's not been something she could get into, health risks aside. Instead, Shruti takes in the view of Mumbai and muses to herself. Even though the city is still full of life, it's late and she should get home. Her mom has an annoying habit of calling early mornings on Sundays which even on a normal Saturday night when she's home, she tends to sleepily talk through.
It's been a fun night though and she's glad she came despite the minor blip of anxiety she faced hearing her old school friend's name. Perhaps it's good in that case that she didn't run into him. It's probably better this way to have their fond childhood memories and leave it at that. With one final sigh, Shruti turns to go back into the apartment, find her coat and leave which is when she collides straight into someone.
Luckily they aren't holding any drinks so nothing spills but she can't help note that the arms that steady her are attached to a very nice chest. She gazes up suddenly those lustful thoughts freeze in place. Of course this happens. Of course she's not that lucky.
Dhruv.
It's funny how he's still the same. Still tall, still got that head of beautiful dark brown hair, still got those pretty eyes. The only thing that's really changed is now he can grow a proper beard and he's certainly filled out his frame nicely. Those sharp masculine features a promise in his adolescence have been fulfilled.
"Sorry," he mutters, releasing her and sidestepping her to lean over the balcony railing.
He seems tense and distracted but she can't believe he doesn't recognise her. She might not have grown much upwards but she's grown sideways in a few areas. Curves that she longed for as a teenager are the same ones she curses now as an adult, the long hair she used to have is now cut shorter with fashionable layers added in and most of the time she's even got down the secret to clear skin.
All in all there has been a transformation but it's not such a dramatic one as to warrant complete unrecognition. Half of her urges her feet to move towards the apartment and just leave now, to take the easy route out and forget about the incidence. The other half of her, the nostalgic part, advocates for sliding up to him and playing coy. That part of her is also a lovestruck fool. So Shruti compromises. She decides to at least make a polite introduction. By his body language he'll reject it but at least she can tell herself she tried and that time has just made him a jerk.
"Dhruv," she says, making her way to his side.
He snaps his head to look at her and barks, "what?"
She recoils in shock, having known this would be a possibility yet nevertheless unprepared for it.
"Sorry," he sighs immediately after seeing her reaction, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't be rude. Hi, yes I'm Dhruv. Do we know each other?"
He actually then sticks his hand out for a handshake. Shruti blinks at him, gazing from the hand up to his face. Witnessing that, her confidence somehow returns and she's transported back to when they were kids again.
"You owe me a chocolate bar for that," she states, smugly.
His hand drops and he stares at her in confusion. She raises her eyebrow and crosses her arms. That must be when something clicks in him since his arms open and he grins wide.
"Shruti!"
"Finally," she states but her words are muffled as she's tackled in a bear hug. She screams against his shoulder however despite the muffled yell she's really delighted. A frosty or awkward reunion is what she expected not this. Not to be embraced so wholeheartedly. Unable to help it her lips pull into the widest grin she can manage as her chest pounds with excitement.
"Dhruv," she calls when he squeezes even harder, the asshole, making it hard for her to breath.
Luckily he's feeling merciful since after one squeeze he lets go with a laugh.
"Shit dude, I totally didn't recognise you. You look damn good," he comments scanning her head to toe.
Shruti looks away in embarrassment, her cheeks feeling hot. She does look good. Just probably not the type of good he's used to.
"Whatever," she states with a roll of her eyes, trying to remain nonchalant, "I can't believe you didn't recognise me though."
"Hey, it's been a long time. And you, I don't know, did all this," he states gesturing in the air at her general direction.
She shakes her head and lets it go. At least she knows that he thinks that time has aged her well.
"Yeah it's been a while but I see you still kept touch with Sara," she teases but with a kernel of truth in there. Why did he keep touch with Sara and well...not her? After a few months of dating it was she who was there for him as he cried about how Sara was dumping him despite 'not caring about her'. And yet he apparently talks to her and not Shruti?
"Don't be like that," he replies with a nudge, "it wasn't like that. One of my friends knows her and she found out we'd be in town for a few weeks so she invited me to the party. It's not like we were talking everyday or anything. Plus you could have kept in touch with me you know."
That is true. It's as much on her as it is on him. But they really did try though between classes and fitting into college, they just started talking less and less until one day it just became comments on each other's posts.
"Yeah I'm sorry. Things just got busy you know."
He nods, "I do know. But let's catch up now. Beer?"
She shakes her head. She's done on alcohol for the night and as much as she wants to continue this, she should get home. The city is relatively okay right now but if it gets too late it can become a dangerous place.
"Can't right now. I should get back home. But let's exchange numbers and if you're still around in the city we can get some coffee or something later."
"Yeah sure have my number but you're right it is late. We should get going too. Let's share a cab, you still stay with your parents?"
Shruti shakes her head. Her parents after college went back to their home state to look after her grandparents and after a lot of fighting they gave in and allowed her to stay in Mumbai, working and living with her female housemate. They visit often enough though, sometimes unannounced, as if trying to catch her doing something they deem as immoral but more often than not, she's stuck in the office or on her way home with some take out.
"No I live only a few streets down from here actually but you know it's late and..."
He nods well aware that although she can do a lot of things, unfortunately walking alone at night safely isn't one of them.
"Okay well let's go anyway and we'll wait with you for your cab then get ours."
" 'We'?" asks Shruti.
Did he come with a friend or something? Who is he referring to?
"Right, you haven't met her yet. My girlfriend, Natasha. She's inside, come on I'll introduce you to her."
From somewhere inside Shruti she hears a faint 'thud' and a prickle of disappointment but she refuses to investigate the sensations further. If she opens that can of worms then there's no telling what secrets will spill out.
"Oh no that's...." her voice trails off as he takes her hand and tugs her through into the flat. She knows she should break out of the hold and tell him she has to leave, anything to stop herself from meeting this knockout girlfriend but she can't find the words. His hand in hers feels comfortable and nice. It's only when he breaks their contact she realises that they've moved across even away from the main living room. They're at a narrow hallway where three pretty women are giggling and laughing.
"Natasha," calls Dhruv, causing them all to give him their attention but it's the tallest girl who fully faces him.
Natasha has brown hair subtly streaked with highlights and low-lights that glimmer and shine even in the badly light hallway. Her features are poised and elegant set against her light unblemished skin. She's slender too and is dressed in an outfit that just looks expensive. All in all, Shruti is not surprised that she's almost too gorgeous to look at. Even if that pretty face is twisted up in annoyance.
"What Dhruv?" she snaps and softens only just a touch seeing Shruti nearby. She doesn't linger on Shruti too long as Dhruv takes her elbow.
Shruti slides down a little to give them the illusion of privacy at least. The rest of Natasha's group just give her a nod and slide by Shruti towards the living room. Clearly something is up with them and that's probably also why Dhruv was looking so pissed off earlier.
"Nat, don't do this now. We can talk about it later," he warns in a low voice that's not quiet enough to stop Shruti hearing. Still she can be a polite friend. Maybe this is the opportunity she needed, maybe she should use this to leave?
"Do what Dhruv?-"
"Er, I'll get going now then-" interrupts Shruti softly which is when she gets hit with two laser beam stares.
"Wait, give us a minute," demands Dhruv and from his growled tone, Shruti chooses her battle carefully and decides this is not it. That's all on Natasha. She can deal with that one. So with a muttered, 'fine', Shruti goes back to her position and pretends to people watch while still eavesdropping. It's not like Dhruv wouldn't tell her anyway, she reasons.
"I'm serious about this Dhruv."
"Okay then let's go home and we can talk about it. Come on, baby," his voice is softened now.
"No. I don't want to leave yet. And you can go to a hotel, I don't want you sleeping under the same roof as me tonight."
Shruti swallows her gasp as she feels her eyebrows shoot up. Of course she wants to stick up for her friend but she also wants to give this Natasha the benefit of the doubt. Men can often do dumb shit even if they are your friend so she has to believe that there's a reason Natasha's so angry with Dhruv.
"Nat, seriously? Again?"
"Yes. Again, Dhruv," condescending spits the other woman, "and you can come back in the morning when you're ready to apologise and make things right."
"Natasha," he growls and then there's silence.
The pause goes on a touch too long, making Shruti curious. She turns to satiate that curiosity and instantly regrets the decision. Natasha's tongue is down his throat, his hands around her slim waist and they're certainly creating some steam around them. They're both so good looking that watching them feels like she's viewing a TV or movie. It's enough to almost make her forget that that's her friend she's watching. The spell is broken when they pull apart though and Shruti can pull herself together to school her expression. She wipes away the look of betrayal, swallows the lump in her throat and blinks back the prickling of tears at her eyes. Even as she does all this, Dhruv and Natasha are still focused on each other, the passion entwined with anger to create a sizzling electricity in the air around them.
"Don't forget you're still mine, Dhruv," she whispers to him.
To that he responds with, "not if you keep acting like a brat."
There's a smirk that plays at Natasha's perfectly painted lips which causes a silent exchange of words between that resulting in Dhruv's gaze growing deeper in what Shruti reluctantly classes as lust. Then the spell is broken as Natasha leans back, rolls straight her shoulders and gives one parting command, "now fuck off Dhruv."
The loaded statement is said softly and punctuated with an air kiss though it is far from teasing or playful. Shruti doesn't understand it though Dhruv clearly does. It seems that's their way of saying goodbye since he straightens and turns to face Shruti.
She spins quickly back around to keep the act that she's not been listening though she's not fooling anybody. His fingers press against the middle of her back, urging her to leave.
*******************
She doesn't end up taking the cab.
To clear their heads and to have time to talk, he offers to walk her back to her place. It's an offer she takes up since she has many questions for him. Everything from what he's been doing for the past few years to what he's been doing for the past few minutes. And she thought Sara's relationships were crazy!
"Okay just ask me," he finally sighs as they exit the building onto the main road.
All that time from getting their jackets to leaving Sara's to going down in the elevator they'd walked in silence.
"What do you mean?"
"Shruti, come on. You're not fooling me. I know you. I know you heard what happened between Natasha and I and I know that judgemental look on your face."
Shruti gasps and whacks his arm, "I am not judging you. I'm just....trying to understand."
Dhruv runs a hand through his hair before digging it into the pocket of his jacket.
"I can see that. Our relationship can be complicated."
That sounds like an understatement to Shruti but what does she know? She's an outsider looking in though from the outside it does not look good.
"What were you guys even fighting about?"
"It's a bunch of little stuff but this one has been a big ongoing topic for a while."
"Oh?"
"Yeah, you know I'm finishing my postgrad in Law this year right?"
She didn't but nonetheless Shruti nods.
"Well Nat wants us to get married."
Shruti's eyes go round. Holy shit when did they get so old? But it's true, a lot of her college friends are getting married now and even her parents have been nudging her to agree to let them find her someone. But they've been doing that since she first started college so she just thought it was their usual schtick.
"Ah and you don't want to marry?" she asks.
It's not really uncommon for guys their age to not want to be married right now. Not for girls either but nobody really regards the opinions of members of her fellow sex in their society.
"I do but it's just not the right time. I still have to find a job here and I want to come back and settle in a bit more before we talk about marriage and all. Plus if I'm being totally honest, Natasha, I just- I don't know if Natasha is the person I want to marry."
As much as that news should make Shruti feel some sort of joy all that comes up are bubbles of pity for Natasha. She can empathize with the poor girl for when feelings are one-sided or when one person feels a whole lot more than the other, things can be complicated and sad.
"Dhruv," she starts, "you should tell Natasha that if you're not on the same page about it. Don't lead her on, it's not fair. If she loves you and you don't feel the same you need to tell her."
Instead of soberly considering her words and getting them through his thick skull, Dhruv just snorts a dry, sarcastic laugh.
"Oh S, you're too sweet you know. It's cute how you think Natasha loves me. Did it look like she loves me?"
The question is rhetoric and Shruti can't help but match his sarcasm, "it didn't even look like she likes you. Well...more than physically."
Natasha's not blind, of course she can see Dhruv's physical appeal. It annoys Shruti how it seems that that's all she sees. Dhruv's more than his good looks just as she's more than her conventionally unattractive ones.
Rather than peacock at being told he's clearly handsome, Dhruv sadly shrugs his shoulders.
"Some days I'd agree with you on that."
It's on the tip of her tongue to ask him why on Earth he's with her then. Surely there's a limit to good sex if it's attached to a termultous relationship as their's looks to be. However very wisely Shruti holds in the loaded, exasperated question. It's really not her place to question his decisions and seeing him already so down right now makes her want to uplift the mood again. The easiest thing of course is to take a trip down memory lane. She brings up a childhood incident of theirs and instantly Dhruv's face lights up as he smiles in nostalgia.
They keep talking while walking to Shruti's apartment complex, not just about childhood but also about their own respective experiences at college. Dhruv's being in America was naturally different to hers but there are more similarities than they expect. They're laughing quietly as they pass the security guard thoroughly engrossed by a video on his phone at the front of Shruti's building. Taking the elevator up, Shruti can't help but feel that old connection she had with Dhruv returning. This time though there's a deeper, richer flavour to it, a sign of maturity perhaps? She can't say for sure. All she knows is that it makes her want to know every single little detail about him and not just the facts but his thoughts and feelings too. Unfortunately that's when they get to her front door. He gives her his phone number then steps back to let her open her door.
"It's been nice to see you again Shruti. I'd hoped you'd come to Sara's party but I wasn't sure. I missed our friendship. I missed you a lot," he admits.
"I missed you too," she responds reactively and then hesitates.
"So where are you going now? Did she really kick you out of your own place?"
"Yeah," sighs Dhruv, "she'll throw a fit if I go back there tonight. I don't know, I'll find a hotel room somewhere for the night or bunk with a friend."
The types of hotels that would let him stay for a night with no luggage certainly aren't the good kinds and well...she's a friend. She also has a free couch so what's the harm?
"I'm a friend," she states, "I have a couch, some pillows and I'll even find you a blanket. You can sleep here tonight if you want? My roommate's away for the weekend too."
He pauses for a moment, his expression blank, making Shruti wonder whether she's crossed some invisible friendship line. Thankfully he slowly nods and concedes making her internally sigh in relief.
"Thanks, S."
And then stops suddenly at the entrance and faces her with a serious expression.
"You'll also make me breakfast in the morning, right? I'm thinking hot dosa and sambar."
She snorts a laugh, hits his arm muttering, "it's sam-bar uncultured swine and yeah right. There's cereal. You can have that and go."
He laughs right along and allows her to push him through into the quaint but cute apartment.
Even after Shruti hands him a blanket and some pillow they both stay on the couch chatting. She's changed into more comfortable clothes, the make up is wiped off and her long hair is thrown up in a messy bun which has more strands poking out than remaining in. Dhruv just thinks it's cute how comfortable she is just being her. He wasn't lying when he said he'd missed her friendship. He could have really done with her support for some of the shit that's happened the past few years. Shit he supposes, he could still tell her about now. She understands him and his family problems better than anyone else he knows.
"I wasn't going to go to America at first for college," he blurts out.
Shruti blinks at him with those big, soulful eyes of hers, her brain kicking into gear at the change in direction of their conversation. He takes her slow nod as a sign to continue.
"I thought I was in love with Sara. Back then. I wanted us to go to the same school. But she didn't want that and she didn't want...me.-"
"Dhruv," she whispers a hand on his forearm.
He relishes in the comfort but it's not necessary. The pain of Sara, although he spiraled a little after her, he got over a long time ago. He wouldn't have gone to her party if he hadn't.
"It's fine now but I just started getting obsessed and wondering why she didn't want me. Then I got this idea in my head. I thought I needed to find him which is also one of the reasons I decided to go to the US."
"'Him?'"
"George Williams. The guy people say is my real father."
When her hand falls off his in shock, he can see her jaw has been dropped as she then whispers, "and?"
Dhruv just shrugs, "nothing. I got there, found out where he lives. I went to his house during one of my semester breaks but I...I couldn't do it. I saw him. It's true, I do look just like him, just a browner version. But I couldn't do it. He didn't want me. He didn't fight for me. He didn't even try to see if I was his! So fuck him. I have a dad. A father who treats me like his son even with all the rumours. So I walked away."
"Good," she affirms with utmost conviction, "he didn't deserve you anyway. If he wasn't willing to step up and be a father to the child he helped create then yeah, fuck him. And I don't get why people are so obsessed by this whole thing anyway. It's not like your mom had an affair and even if she had that's not your fault. People are just so ridiculous about these things."
It's ridiculous to her how a breakdown of a relationship is seen by their society as some big failure like an affirmation that young people cannot be trusted to make their own decisions about who they want to be with. Life is just like that. It's full of ups and downs and you can't predict how things will be five or ten years down the line (no matter what horoscopes say).
Dhruv pats her shoulder saying with amusement, "it's okay, relax. Cooldown, S. Attitudes are changing so at least it might be better for this younger generation. But I think maybe it's what drew Nat and I together."
"What?" she asks.
"Her parents are divorced. It's not the same but we share some of the same feelings and thoughts and experiences from our childhood. She's also one of the few girls that aren't ashamed to be with me. She's not as bad as she seems. She has a lot of nice qualities about her and-"
"Dhruv," interrupts Shruti, "I'm not saying she's a bad person. You don't need to justify your relationship to me. But I do want to ask you, if you both aren't in love then why does she want to marry you?"
As much as she thinks they're wrong for each other, it's not her decision to make. She can't control who he's with even if somewhere in her she wishes it's with her.
"She's actually totally against the idea of marriage but she also wants to be an actress. And well, with my dad's TV connections and the fact that she thinks they'll respect her more if she is married then it makes sense to her."
Ah, nods Shruti in understanding. Well, people have been married for less.
"You think that's a good enough reason for you to marry her?"
She's curious. Could he be the type to just settle like that? Does he not want the love and trust that she craves in a person before marrying them? Even if he is the type to think it could come after marriage, does he really believe he can find that with Natasha?
Dhruv inhales loud and exhales slowly considering her words and from the frown on his face, it's not a good conclusion.
"No. It's not but we're not all lucky like that. Sometimes we just have to take what we can."
She shakes her head in disagreement and leans in. A hand on his in comfort.
"We don't have to. We all deserve love Dhruv. Someone who sees us for who we are and loves us for just that. Not out of loneliness or pressure or some other social or monetary advantage."
He flips his palm over, their fingers interlacing while he watches it. Her gaze is on his shiny, full head of hair close enough she can smell the generic shampoo he uses. Then suddenly he looks up and that's when she realises how close they are to each other, how intimate this all is. The city noises are dull and in this dim room, it's just her and him. The green in his eyes blaze against the golden brown and with the guard he normally has up being down Shruti sees the raw hope and desire behind the impressive wall of man.
"Dhruv," she whispers in wonderment.
She's had boyfriends before but they haven't been him.
His eyes flicker down to her lips, long eyelashes brushing the tops of his cheeks. When he looks back at her, she notes with great disappointment that the shields are back and what's worse is the painful pity now coating his features.
"I have a girlfriend," he says, leaning back and placing them distance again between them.
Right. A pretty, fair, tall, slim girlfriend. How could Shruti have forgotten? He certainly has. And he shouldn't, of course but it just reminds her that she's nothing like his girlfriend. She's strictly a girl that's a friend material, not girlfriend material. Not for guys like him.
The stab of rejection is too much for her. Especially with him watching her cautiously. She needs to gather her splayed guts and retreat to a private place to put herself back together.
"Shru-" he starts.
"I'm going to bed. You should...get some sleep too."
Not giving him another choice, Shruti rips her hand away from him and hurriedly walks to her bedroom. Diving into bed, she prays the morning will fix everything.
*********
Dhruv's mind is still a mess when the bright sunlight hits him square. He checks his phone, noting that it's still very early. There's no sounds coming from Shruti's room so he figures she's not awake yet. He wouldn't be either if it weren't for the sun and the eventful evening. Natasha, he can deal with. Their fights and constant bickering isn't anything new. But Shruti?
He's known Shruti for so long and in all that time, despite their parents being suspicious, nothing had ever happened. Ever. Last night was the first time they even got remotely close to it. Admittedly when he was a teenager he had had too friendly thoughts about Shruti. Briefly he'd wondered what if they had crossed the line of friendship but he never acted on it. Which had been a blessing and relief at the time. Him and Shruti were good as friends. Are good as friends. He doesn't want to ruin that. Besides, he'd never seen her after puberty as anything more than a friend. He can admit she's pretty. She's curvy, short and has those big appealing eyes however he'd viewed that all objectively. Now...Well, he's not sure what to think.
The phone rings just as he's pondering what the almost kiss means for them.
He flings his arm blindly out onto the desk to grab the ringing device. Thinking it's Natasha, he answers it wearily.
"Hello?"
The person on the other end gasps slightly before hesitantly saying, "sorry, wrong number."
The call is immediately cut and Dhruv rolls over to try escape reality for a few more minutes when annoyingly the device rings again.
"Hello," he answers with sleepy irritation.
The same voice again now more firmly demands, "who are you? Where's Shruti?"
Oh shit. Dhruv pulls back the phone to confirm the terrible realisation that he's picked up his friend's phone.
"Hi, sorry. I'm Shruti's friend. One second, I'll get her. She's just in the other room," he rushes out.
As he pulls the phone away he can hear some muttering and murmuring which he hopes isn't too bad. He would hate to land her in hot water for a simple mistake.
He knocks on her door, calling her name softly to which she answers still in her sleepwear. Dhruv has no time to take her in adorable appearance because as soon as her eyes go to the phone he thrusts out at her, everything about her goes on high alert.
"Hi, Ma," she says and then quickly rushing out, "I'll call you back in a second."
Cutting the phone call, she glares at him, ignoring the device when it rings again.
"Dhruv!" she grits out, "what the hell have you done?! Why did you answer my phone? My mother is going to kill me!"
He takes a step back with arms open trying to do some damage control. He knows her parents can be overprotective. She's an adult living alone and they're weary of her having male friends let alone male friends who stay the night.
"I'm sorry!" he cries, "I didn't know I answered it by mistake."
"Oh my god. What am I going to tell her? She was already yelling at me. My parents are going to kill me. How could you?!"
"I didn't know! I answered it by mistake. I'm sorry-"
"This is bad, this is so bad!-"
"Shruti, chill. I'm sure it'll be okay."
She spins around from her pacing to glare at him. Woops. Wrong move. Her anger has a new course and it's headed for him.
"No it's not. It's not going to be okay, Dhruv. My parents are not like yours. My life is not like yours. Do you know how privileged you are?! How many things I'm told I can't do that you can? Don't you dare tell me it's going to be okay."
"Alright I'm sorry. Maybe it's not going to be okay but I'm not that privileged. How can you say that?"
She makes a pfft noise of disagreement.
"I have been your friend for so long but you don't see past yourself. Have you ever asked about my past boyfriends or dating life? Or about my relationship with my parents? About any of my relationships? No, you just want everyone to keep on pitying you because your rich, actress mom had you with a rich, white man. Oh no, the horrors of your liberal parents letting you do whatever you want."
He flinches back at her statements. That's not fair. He doesn't do that. He's a good friend. He just assumed they were things she never wanted to share with him. How is he meant to know she wants to talk about that stuff?
"Hey, that's not fair. Why are you being so mean? I told you I'm sorry for answering your phone but it's not like your parents are literally going to kill you."
"They're not. But my life, the way I want to live it, might be over. You just wouldn't understand."
Dhruv feels his own anger rise. Is she serious? They're her parents. They love her, he knows that much at least. She can just talk to them and he's sure they'll calm down. Why does she have to be so dramatic? Her life isn't over.
"You're right. I guess I don't understand. And I don't understand you anymore. Like trying to kiss me last night, what was that?"
She doesn't speak for a moment. Her jaw clenching and chin jutting up in defense. Clearly he's hit a nerve because even from his distance he can see the tears pooling in her eyes, except he doesn't know what it is exactly that he's said that's causing that reaction.
"That was a mistake. Obviously. Just like trying to rekindle this friendship was a mistake."
If that's how she really feels then fine. No more friendship.
"Fine," he states, gathering up his things quickly, "consider this mistake rectified."
He tugs open the front door and steps out of her house and out of her life. Only she doesn't let him leave without one final word.
"Dhruv?"
He turns.
"Since I won't be invited to the wedding, I hope you and Natasha have a great life together."
The bitter, deadpan delivery makes him believe that she's being sarcastic but whatever, it's not like he cares anymore even though his blood boils at the comment. They are officially over. She has one thing right though, she won't be invited to the wedding.
3 years later
"Are you sure you're going to be okay?"
Shruti waves off her housemate nonchalantly.
"Yeah, yeah, I'll be fine."
Although the casual tone implies she really is fine, it's a lie. But she doesn't want to worry her housemate over that. Her house hunting is not going well. The issue is that either people don't want her because she's divorced or because she's single. It's annoying and a huge pain in the butt. Her parents are still not talking to her. Her ex-husband's family...well, that bridge burnt even before the end of their marriage.
After her parents had found out about Dhruv staying the night, they hadn't believed her when she said nothing happened. Instead they'd forced her to leave the state and go back to them where they'd pressured her into a marriage she didn't even want in the first place. Suffice to say their plan had not worked out. Her ex wasn't a bad man. He was just equally as unhappy being saddled with her as she with him. His parents were the worst though. Finally when she'd brought up divorce although he'd been unsure about it, after it went through they were both happier.
Or she would be if she could find a place to stay. Coming back to Mumbai was a huge relief for her. Even if it has been another uphill battle. Finding a job, explaining her divorced status, finding a place to live and all whilst being cut off from her family hadn't been easy but Shruti knows the alternative and she'd rather not take that route again.
Her housemate leaves to go visit her fiance-soon to be husband as Shruti lets out a sigh and pulls out her phone. Well, this is her last hope. Dear God, let one of them have a place she can stay at. She goes through the list of her friends and with each one's regrets, her hope dwindles. Finally she has one number left on her list. Dhruv.
Shruti debates it.
They did not leave things on a good note and she fully confesses that it is a lot her fault. In her panic, she'd blown up at him but it had been a reasonable response given what came after. However, he made a simple mistake that could have happened to anyone. It's not his fault entirely. The phone rings at least. Expecting it to not be answered she's not prepared when she hears his voice down the other end. The years apart haven't seemed to have mattered for her body because just hearing him, the response is the same. Complete awareness. "Hello?" She forgets to speak for a moment, lost in memories.
"Hello? Is anyone there?"
Quickly Shruti snaps back to herself, "hello."
"Hello?" he laughs, "who is this speaking?"
"Dhruv it's me. It's-it's Shruti."
"Shruti," he says, softening his voice.
The relief is immediate. At least he doesn't have any ill wishes for her. She tries not to get her hopes up too much though. He might have forgiven her but the past can't be that easily forgotten.
"Hi. I..."
"I didn't think you'd speak to me again after...."
"I know. I'm sorry, I said things I didn't mean. It got a little out of control."
"I'm sorry too Shruti. I said things too I shouldn't have. I'm really glad you called though. How are you? I heard you got married and left Mumbai?"
Guess he didn't hear the rumours as well of her divorce and return.
"Actually...Funny story, I got divorced and I'm back. Surprise!" Her jolly tone is forced and he can surely tell.
"What?" he asks in shock. "Yeah. Actually...that's partly why I'm calling."
"Of course. What is it, S?"
"My housemate is leaving and I have to move out of this apartment. I've been searching for a place but people won't rent to me. I was hoping you might know someone?"
She holds her breath as she's met with silence. Then after a beat, wondering if she's overstepping her boundaries she tries to reassure him, "I'm a good housemate, I promise! I have a job too. I won't have crazy parties or invite people around-"
"Shruti, relax," he laughs, "I know you, remember. You're the good girl, I know."
Phew. Well at least he still thinks that.
"So do you know anyone?"
"Yes."
Her shoulders relax in relief, "do you think they'd take me as a housemate?"
"Yes."
Hope soars in her. Maybe she won't be homeless. Maybe someone out there is watching out for her after all and rewarding her for making the hard decision to call Dhruv again.
"Great! This is good Dhruv. Thank you so much. I'm so relieved, you have no idea. Thank you-"
"Hold on Shruti. Wait, the things is...it's me."
She's confused now.
"What's you?"
"The person who has an extra room. I do. You'd have to stay with me."
Her heart races for a totally different reason that's nothing to do with stress.
"Oh."
She thought he'd be married too by now. Is he living alone? Or are his wife and him in some kind of financial issue? As much as she'd hate to live with the two of them, she'll deal with it. It'll be hell for her but she'll get over it.
"I know your parents won't let you-"
"No, it's not that Dhruv. Um, would Natasha mind?"
"No why?" he questions until it clicks for him and clarifies, "oh Nat and I aren't together. We broke up that day actually after I left your place."
The questions pour in. Did they break up because of her? Did she cause that for him? Shruti likes that he's not with a person who isn't good for him but at the same time she doesn't feel good for possibly being the reason she broke them up.
"I'm sorry Dhruv if I-"
"You didn't! It was just a long time coming I think. But no girlfriend, no wife. So if you want you can stay here."
No girlfriend, no wife. He's single. A small whisper from the back of her head reminds that so is she. However she quickly stamps it out. They already almost tried that and it was a huge mistake that basically kept them apart for 3 years. She's not risking it again. They're going to be friends and housemates and she's just going to have to get over it. She is over it. Yeah, as soon as things settle down, she'll try dating again.
"Shruti? I know it's not ideal for you but-"
"I'll take it," she decides.
"Do you want to see it first before agreeing?" he teases, the warmth back in his voice like before.
It reassures her that this is the right decision. The only decision she can make really but still, the right one.
"No need. I'll take it and I'll take the offer to help me move in too."
Dhruv laughs loudly at that.
"I didn't know I offered that but buy me a Cadbury bar and you have a deal."
Months later
Dhruv's place is nice. Far nicer than anything she could afford by herself. That's the bonus of being a big time lawyer, she supposes. Though saying that it's not like he doesn't work for it. He does. He works almost every day of the week and if it weren't for her insisting on him joining her for her morning walks, he'd probably also just stay living inside too.
She is aware also that he undercharges her for rent. Her rent probably doesn't even cover all their utility bills but even with her insistence he doesn't accept anything more. She guesses she should be grateful. Afterall, it's the first time in a long time she's not scraping the last of her change or going into her overdraft at the end of each month.
She also has to admit he is a good housemate too. A little messy but nothing unbearable. The one thing he always does that annoys her is when he leaves his shoes in the middle of the entrance way rather than neatly to the side of the door. Wherever he takes them off, he just leaves them there. Then again, she knows she has her own weird traits that annoy him. Like how he always complains about her leaving the cupboard doors open. She forgets. Despite that, they've fallen into a fun camaraderie and Shruti's thankful for it.
The other piece of good news is that her parents are finally speaking to her again. Their conversations are painfully stunted and they don't ask her anything other than the usual, has she eaten, how is work etc. But that's okay. Baby steps and Shruti decides that this time, she won't be as much of a pushover. There's no reason for her to be scared anymore that she can't stand on her own two feet without them because she's done exactly that. And it feels amazing.
As per routine, Shruti comes back after visiting the market on Saturday. Saturday's are her turn for grocery shopping whereas he does the weekday shops. Normally they'll have dinners together with either one or both of them cooking or ordering take out food. She never enjoyed cooking before but doing it with a partner and not having to do it all the time makes it pretty enjoyable actually.
She spots Dhruv on the couch, on his laptop and assumes that rather than going into the office he's just working from home. Putting away the produce she has a craving for falooda and seeing as they already have the rose syrup, Shruti starts making it. She generously also makes one for Dhruv knowing it's his favourite. Her favourite is strawberry milkshakes and they have definitely debated that versus the more traditional falooda.
"Here Dhruv. It's hot today and I know you don't drink enough water. Have this falooda at least," she orders handing him the tall glass of creamy pink liquid.
He happily accepts it with a wide grin. She's about to sit down when a voice from his laptop makes her freeze.
"Dhruv? Who is that?" asks the female speaker. One that Shruti vaguely recognises.
Dhruv looks at her with wide eyes as she stares at him with the same look of surprise and bewilderment. Oh shit. Looks like she's done the same thing to him now as he did to her all those years ago.
"Dhruv?"
"Yeah, mom...I can explain," he stumbles out looking back to the computer screen.
Shruti takes a tentative seat on the couch at the opposite side to him and tries to huddle as close to it out of view as possible. She wonders if he's going to yell at her like she yelled at him. Or if he's going to kick her out.
"No need to explain, dear!" cheerfully announces his mom which shocks Shruti. That is not a normal reaction from a parent she would have expected.
"Mom wait listen-"
"You should have told me you have a new girlfriend! Finally, Dhruv it's been so long, your father and I were starting to get worried. But this good. Work isn't the only thing that's important in life, you know. You're getting old too sweetheart. Oh, Dhruv I'm so relieved."
Dhruv turns to her and shoots her a look she's not sure how to interpret.
"Er, yeah, sure mom."
"So introduce me! Let me see, who is she?!" excitedly calls his mother.
What the hell?!
Shruti glares at Dhruv. What is he doing?
Before she can whisper that he's already turning the laptop around for the camera to point at her and she has to hurriedly wipe the confused, exasperated expression off her face and replace it with one of humble shyness.
"Hi Ma'am," she politely greets.
His actress mom still looks glamorous even at her age. She looks like she could be Dhruv's older sister, not his mother. Her barely wrinkled face has an expression of contemplation on it though.
"I know you, don't I?"
Shruti glances sideways to Dhruv, wondering what he wants her to say. Thankfully he shuffles over to her and comes into frame. She tries to ignore how close they're sitting and how his big body is pressed close to hers. His arm goes around the back of her along the couch as he gets more comfortable. Although it doesn't touch her, she swears she can still feel it.
"You know her mom. This is Shruti. We went to school together."
His mom's eyes widen and a big, beaming smile spreads across her features.
"Shruti! Of course! Wow, look at you. You've gotten so pretty. I always knew the two of you would make a beautiful couple."
"Oh, uh, thank you Ma'am," she stutters out.
"Of course. You two spend time together. I'll call Dhruv later. And Dhruv, honey, make sure to give me Shruti's number. We'll talk, Shruti. Bye!"
WIth some air kisses blown towards them, the call is ended.
Shruti looks towards Dhruv. They're still sitting so close to each other but Shruti beats back the memories of the last time they were so close. She blinks at him in surprise. What the fuck just happened? Did he just let his mom believe they're together? And was she actually happy about it?
"Er Dhruv..." she drawls.
"I know, I know!" he sighs, taking her by the shoulders.
"You are going to tell her, right? That we're not a couple."
"I mean..." he hesitates.
"Dhruv!"
"What's the harm in pretending? For a little while at least?-"
"The harm is that it's going to hurt your mom. She seemed so excited for us to be together. Think what it will do when you tell her it's not true and you've been lying to her."
"Let me worry about that. Please Shruti," he pleads.
She bites her lip, still very unsure about playing this game. She can't imagine it ending well.
"Come on, help me out. You're not dating anyone right? Neither am I? It'll just be for a few months. And then I'll tell her we broke up but we're still friends."
"Dhruv, I don't know about this."
"It'll work out, I promise! Help me. She keeps trying to set me up with her friend's daughters and I need a break. Please, Shruti."
Despite still being undecided her body decides for her. Her head nods in agreement even as she struggles to vocalise it.
"Thank you, thank you, thank you," he chants, drawing her forward for a hug.
She reluctantly winds her arms around his back and pats it awkwardly. Oh God...hopefully this isn't going to be a massive mistake.