As I sit in the creaky, uncomfortable hospital bed, my memories slow creep back, and after several hours of boredom, I remember who it was. Who pushed me into the pool. I'm not going to tell Lane though. It might have nearly killed me, but they should come forward themselves. Not because I gave up their name. It's weird, but makes sense to me.
"Just one more night. I know your Christmas is tomorrow, but we want to make sure there's no underlying illnesses from the water flooding into your lungs." The nurse smiles sadly, and I nod, understanding that it's hard to let people know.
"It's okay. I'd rather know I'm not sick than have vomit all over my Christmas presents tomorrow morning," I joke, and she seems so relieved. We are celebrating Christmas kind of late, but we all got to spend some time at home during our real Christmas, so this is just the one being put on TV.
"Thank you for understanding. Do you want to move around a bit? It might take some time for you to start walking again, but you can meet some of the other patients," Nurse Olivia offers.
"Can I go see the little kids?" She helps me into the wheelchair, taking me down to where the kids are all playing in a room full of toys. I love kids more than anything. Before my family died, Kayla and I would go to the children's hospital and play with the kids and bring joy to their faces. A kind of joy I've been looking for since they died.
"Are you here to play with us?" A little boy with a bandana on his head asks and my heart breaks.
"Absolutely. I've gotta stay in this though." I smile, my heart filling with a feeling of kindness that hasn't been there for a few months. Innocent kindness like this doesn't exist at Palazio Grande. Not when a fifth of the girls are trying to compete for the same guy that you are and the other eighty percent are just focused on the guy they hope to win the heart of.
"That's cool. Cindy has to, too. You wanna play with her?" He points to a little girl in a wheelchair that has an IV bag attached to it, and I nod, heading over to where she is playing with plastic horses.
"Cindy, can we play with you?" I ask, and she turns away with the ponies, shaking her head, the wisps of auburn hair swirling around her head. "Hey, can I see the pink pony?"
"Her name is Lollipop." Cindy shows me the pony, and after asking what many of the ponies' names are, I break her shell and the little boy, whose name I learn to be Toby, Cindy, and I all play with the ponies Cindy adores. After a couple hours of role-playing with the plastic horses, I head back to my room, where they run a few tests and my walking abilities are not good. I make it maybe two steps before nearly falling flat on my face. If it weren't for the two doctors and three nurses, I would be stranded on the floor.
"Well, other than your inability to walk, your tests came back clean, but the doctor still wants to keep you tonight. You didn't come with a phone, so here's one so you can call your family." The problem is, my family is dead and I don't know Rayna's or Lane's phone numbers — or anyone else's, for that matter. So, this is basically useless. Setting it down on the table next to the bed, I drift off to sleep, unaware of how exhausted I am.
Waking up, I smile as soon as I remember that it's Christmas. It may not be my real Christmas, but this one I get to spend with all of my friends instead of alone. I miss my family, but I love the holiday, the music, and all of the joy that comes with Christmas. At least, all of my presents were wrapped before I was taken here.
"Merry Christmas, Erika. Here's a little gift for you from us nurses. It's not much, but I hope you like it." Nurse Olivia hands me a little red, green, and white bag that has the words "Merry Christmas" in cursive across the front of the bag and I smile, taking the bag and seeing a little plush dog and a note.
"Erika,
Have a Merry Christmas, and we hope you get better soon. We know you're on Choosing Right, so good luck! All of us here are rooting for you to win Lane's heart!
Love,
Nurse Olivia, Nurse Hannah, and Dr. Penelope Amanj" How sweet. And they knew it was the day of the TV Christmas, which was really nice.
"Thanks, you guys. You didn't have to get me anything." I say, a grateful smile on my face.
"It's your Christmas. It's the least we could do. Well, I think Dr. Amanj has finally signed your forms, so who do you want to contact to bring you back?" Great question. Considering I know nobody's phone number, I have no clue.
"Who signed my forms?" I ask.
"Landon Jameson." Interesting. He used his real name.
"Can I get his phone number?" I reply, and she recites it to me slow enough to allow me to punch it into the phone. "Thanks." Letting the phone ring a couple times, I hear a female voice on the other side. Okay, Lane.
"Hi, this is Ellie. Who is this?" Elle. Oh, thank god. A familiar voice.
"It's Erika." I hear a little gasp in her voice.
"Yay! When are you coming back? Everyone misses you."
"Can you get Landon on the phone? I'm coming back once I have a ride, and your brother will be a big help." I say, and she immediately goes to find Lane, who is on the main floor, handing the phone to him once she finds him.
"Is it really you, Erika?" He hopes, and my heart melts slightly. Lane must get so many prank calls that he actually has to make sure it's me.
"Yes. Look, I am being released from the hospital, and kind of need a ride." I explain, and he realizes it's actually me.
"I'll get Kindrah to pick you up. Is that okay?" Okay? It's amazing. I just want to see all of you guys. Not that it'll be any easier to do that in a wheelchair, but it doesn't matter.
"Sounds good." I reply, and after exchanging goodbyes, he hangs up. "Nurse Olivia, it'll be about an hour."
"Alright, sugar. You wanna try to walk before you head out?" She offers.
"I might as well." I reply, and she helps me out of the bed, and the moment my feet hit the icy floors, I nearly fall to the ground, the only thing stopping me is Nurse Olivia. Letting my legs adjust, I eventually get to a point where I can stand on my own for a few minutes, which just happens to be when Kindrah arrives. I might have made it a few steps earlier, but it feels like I'm just backtracking now. I hope I am able to walk before the next elimination.
"You seem to be doing well, Miss Taylor." He walks in to see me standing, and after a few seconds, I have to sit down because my legs can barely support me.
"Well, just sign these forms, and you can be on your way, Erika." The nurse hands me a clipboard and a pen, and I scribble my signature on the line, and wheel me to the car, where I attempt to get in on my own, and barely make it. "Keep the wheelchair. It's the other half of our gift to you."
"Thank you. Have a merry Christmas, Olivia." I smile, and we head back to the Palazio Grande. Most of the hour-long ride home we sit in silence, just listening to a radio show host talking about how this winter is so dry, before Kindrah finally speaks up.
"Who did this to you?" He wonders with only ten minutes left of the car ride.
"It doesn't matter. I just want to get better." I reply, tears welling up in my eyes. I know exactly who tried to — and nearly did — drown me.
"I know you'll get better eventually. You're a strong girl. I've heard the boys talk about you." The boys all talk about me? I am shocked. Mostly because I feel like they would talk about the other girls here, not me. "We're back. Do you need any help with anything?"
"Can you get the wheelchair for me?" I ask, and he immediately gets out of the driver's seat to help me into the wheelchair, which is so much help. There's a few steps, which after making the trek to them, I realize I need help with.
"I'll get that for you, Erika." He's still following me? Wow. I make my way up the three shallow steps one at a time, while Kindra carries the wheelchair up with ease.
"Thank you." I'm not ready to see anyone right now. I need to face the music, though. There's no avoiding it. Taking in a shaky breath, I ring the doorbell and wait for one of the producers or Rayna to come to the door.
"Who is — Erika! Oh, come in." Thank you, Rayna. I don't think I could live with myself if one of the producers opened the door. "How long are you going to be in that?"
"The doctor said it should only be a week." I recollect and she nods, thinking for a moment about what to do with me. Letting me inside, I notice it's eerily quiet. Where is everybody?
"Everyone's in the garden. Do you want me to get your gifts from your room?" She offers.
"I'll need to come up with you because some of them are really well hidden." I was definitely paranoid that people would see them if I kept them in plain sight. "I can walk some, but I'll need help. Can you get one of the boys?" She comes back with the guy I least expect, Zain, who is happy to help me get up the stairs.
"I'm so sorry this happened to you." He says, basically dragging me up because my legs are in so much pain.
"As I see it, I think it just puts my life in perspective. I need to live life the way I want. Not the way I think I should."