To all ships - Good work, team. The naval base hasn't exploded in my absence. Although I didn't come back expecting to find an alliance between the SIREN and Azur lane. What the hell actually happened while I was gone?
To the SIREN - Welcome, you are now part of the fleet thanks to your justified fear for Graf Zeppelin. Please keep the warcrimes I have to cover up to a minimum.
Admiral Hipper - We need those SIREN alive, no matter how much they insulted your chest in past battles. Stop slapping them.
Atago - No, you still only have 1 sister. - "Not blood related" does not make it acceptable. Get rid of the sex toys.
Baltimore - I read your report, but I refuse to believe that giant catching nets are the actual weakness to SIREN technology.
Belfast - Your stalking of Enterprise 1 are entering uncomely levels. I'm not certain if you're just that devoted to serving her as her maid, or if you're just a full blown lesbian.
Bismarck & Akagi - Even with the new alliance, SIREN technology is still out of bounds for you. Don't start another war over that yet again!
Chapayev - Atago and Bismarck have now also started using your methods. That handcuff dealer of yours must have some really good prizes...
Empress III - I'm happy you like your new dorms, but arson isn't welcome. Now that you're here, you'll have to find new hobbies.
Enterprise 1 - Hide the nukes.
Enterprise 2 - Yes, teaching the rats to perform rachmaninoff's symphony no. 2 was very impressive. You've taught them well. Seems it's about time you get out of the prisons already and use that effort on something useful.
Graf Zeppelin - For bringing the SIREN to such levels of fear that they'd rather join up with us, you are to be commended. Now stop with the revolution attempts.
North Carolina - Enterprise 2's rats are indeed impressive, but we have more than enough rodent musicals already. You do not need to train bunnies. Get rid of them.
Observer α - I understand that the tentacles are part of your anatomy. So please stay away from Akashi at a range of 1,000 kilometers at all times. Anime-fanatics like her know certain uses for them.
Purifier - Your arsenal is impressive. It's more than enough. You do not need an upgrade. If I have to bring up this nuclear bombing fiasco one last time, I'll suffer a stroke.
Roon - I will refrain asking you why or where you keep the dismembered heads of your defeated enemies. Just get rid of the ones in the dorms, they're attracting flies.
Taihō - I'm not dumb. I know you followed me during my vacation. You'd better give me my underpants back.
Takao 1 - No, You'll be Takao 1. Accept your new nickname and shut up, or else we'll come up with something much funnier. - Eugen suggested something like "Fuzzball."
Takao 2 (Code T) - We really didn't need another doppelganger. - Fine, you're Takao 2 now.
Tester β - Lurker has been found by Graf zeppelin? - Nope. Give up on her, we're not taking chances.
U-101 - Street races are called street races for a reason. They are not to be held inside the offices.
Queen Elizabeth - Do not attempt to dress the new SIREN into maid costumes. - So 10 Royal maids aren't enough for you?
Z23 - Your suggestion for a base wide event is a great idea to get the new members to warm up to out fleet. How about a book review next week or something?