I realised that I haven't dedicated this book yet therefore on behalf of my friends.
I dedicate this book to 'the depressed lunch table'
Yes this is what life has come to.
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2:00am.
No one had slept.
There was way too much question and confusion in the air for that.
And no one but Christian or Stefano could answer our questions.
Yet they wouldn't.
We all sat silently in the family room amongst the mess. I had never experienced an atmosphere more deserted and...tense.
"Let's play charades. Christian please kindly act out what the fuck is going on." Dominico warns him.
"I hate charades, I never win!" Diego complains.
"Quelle dommage bitch." (What a shame). I interrupt, finally shutting them up.
It was clear that we were going to gain absolutely no answers from Chrissy over here.
The idea of 'no answers' didn't sit right for me.
I'd find some, even if they were wrong.
"I need some air." I get up cautiously walking out the room.
Because I'm a hot bitch.
I didn't know where to proceed after that.
My room didn't seem like the right option and outside? No, I don't quite fancy hypothermia right now. Perhaps tomorrow.
I wandered around the house taking in its solitary nature. I didn't like the feeling I gained from it. I felt like I was back in New York. Trapped in that apartment. Alone.
Knocking on my fathers office door, I am greeted with abstract silence.
I knock yet again and gain the same silence.
Knock knock bitch.
Nope? Still silence. Nice.
Opening the door, I view my father sitting by his desk simply staring at a photo frame.
I knew exactly what picture he was looking at.
It was me and Adriano in a headlock while Christian had gripped both of our hoods yanking us up while Stefano had a gun to his head.
"Can I come in?" I catch his attention.
"No, fuck off." He sarcastically jokes.
I chuckle entering the deathly room and shutting the door behind me.
Sitting on the seat opposite him, I impulsively stare at him as he awkwardly stares back. He knows I have questions and I am completely aware that he won't fail to ignore them.
"You can blink you know?" He enlightens me.
Gosh father, why I had no idea!
"What's going on?" I demand.
"Do you count your shots when you shoot a gun?" He asks me avoiding my question.
What the fuck?
"Of course I do?" I answer confused.
"And why do we do that?" He adds.
Dude. Escobar. Pablo.
"So you know when you're about to run out." I recite rolling my eyes.
"How do you disarm someone when a gun is held to your head?" He questions.
"Dad I learnt this when I was a child." I raise my eyebrow at him.
"Answer it." He demands scaring me.
"Volt up vertically with your dominant arm catching their wrist and twist it anti clockwise because it's more painful." I sigh answering the question.
He nods his head staring at me.
"Dad, what's going on?" I ask for the final time.
He opens his mouth beginning to speak when the door barges open and i am greeted with Leia.
"Oh my god bitch I was about to find out." I jump out my chair angrily facing her.
"Sorry Sienna. I need to talk with your father." She adds.
"Go and sit on the chair outside, think about what you just did and wait your turn!" I stubbornly answer.
"Sienna, go back to the family room. I'll be there in a second." He kindly asks.
"This." I point my finger in his face. "Is not over."
I stubbornly walk out shutting, well slamming the door behind me.
Jumping on top of Dominico and Natalia I throw my head back in frustration.
That frustration is fuelled when I see Diego playing charades with Xavier.
He makes circular motions with his hands.
"Balls?" I call out
"God no!" He sighs dropping his hands aggressively.
"Your balls haven't dropped?" I guess again.
He stares at me with murder written in his eyes.
I hate this game.
My head falls back on Dominico's chest as I grunt angrily.
Leia is holding some serious smoke. I was SO DAMN CLOSE.
He runs his hand through my hair gently. I didn't realise what an effect it hand on me until now. He made me feel safe.
After much failure and a shard of glass flying through the air, Diego and Xavier decide to give up with their game of charades. Thank god because it was beginning to give me brain damage.
My gaze was focused on Fiorella whose eyes were plastered on Christian. I felt terrible because I knew she wanted to help him but I don't think he would have opened up to anyone, including her.
"I'm going to check on Aiden." She tells us before exiting the room sorely.
"I'll help." Adriano proceeds to get up but Dominico's large hand shoved him right back down.
"I think you've done enough." He adds.
Thank god for that. The therapy that boy is going too need will run our money dry.
The tension engulfing us snaps with the footsteps of my father entering the room.
Heavy fuck, why does he walk so loud?
I couldn't bring myself to speak nor could anyone else. Christian's head was harshly in between his hand hiding his face from the rest of us.
"Did you get engaged and promote Adriano as your best man? Is that why he's mad?" I roll my eyes.
No one answers me.
Well this is awkward.
"I have something to tell you all." He at last announces.
Well you don't say dad.
At the sound of those words, I notice Christian's head rise slightly and come into contact with his piercing, bloodshot, red eyes though I can't tell if they were the product of alcohol, marijuana, tears or all three.
Christian cries?
I had never seen him hold an emotion so sincere, it scared me.
"Three days ago I received some news. I-." He pauses momentarily to take a breath suppressing all his emotions.
"The doctors discovered a tumour in my brain and due to its placement, they can't operate." He alas speaks.
But those weren't the words I desired to hear.
"Wha- what does that mean?" I question confused.
"It means I'm sick." He informs me unwillingly.
"But you can get treatment, right?" Adriano asks with a crackle in his voice.
"He won't get it!" Christian stubbornly adds.
"What the fuck? Why?!" I almost yell but keep myself collected.
"Because treatment ruins people. I won't be remembered like that. I won't live at that quality." He harshly enlightens us.
"So what does that mean?" Dominico questions, I felt his body temperature increase yet I couldn't tell what he was feeling.
"It means I'm...dying." He unleashes our darkest fears.
My body trembles from the edge of my fingertips right to ends of my hair.
The walls closed in more and more as that sentence went on. The atmosphere was no longer in suspense, it turned melancholy.
I felt it in my heart.
I don't think I really took in what my father had told me.
"Dying? No, treatments help. You'll be okay if you do it. You'll be fine dad stop worrying." I innocently tell him oblivious to the truth.
He smiles with tears pooling in his eyes, "I've seen my father die like that. I'll never make you do the same. I'm surprised I even made it this far in life."
Dude, you're only like 44?
"Dad. What are you talking about?" I finally get up ready to stand my ground.
"You're dying and you won't do anything but accept it? What the hell has gotten into you!" I shout.
"Sienna please-." He attempts to calm me.
"No! You have a chance but your pride won't let you take it. Stop being so prideful and think about how damn stupid you sound." I scold him.
He chuckles at my enthusiastic nature.
"You got that from me."
I did.
"It's not about pride my dear. If I thought it would make a difference I would do so." He enlightens me.
I look at him hurt and confused he sighs adamantly.
"Treatment won't help me. I'm dying Sienna and I don't have long left, I won't spend this little time trying to survive like I've always done."
"But all you've ever taught me to do was survive?" I question beneath my tears.
"You can't survive death cara. You just have to be ready when it comes."
What if you're never ready for it?
What if there's nothing after it?
"How long do you have?" Adriano asks.
He looks down momentarily then back up at us. It would almost seem that he found this humorous yet I know that if he didn't find humour amongst this, it would tear us apart.
"Weeks. A week. Not long." He almost stutters.
A week?
I felt myself wanting to curl up into a corner. I wanted the pain of a thousand people to consume me. Nothing less.
Death had always been inevitable but the death of my father?
I wasn't sure I could survive that.
...
5 days later
Dominico's POV:
My knuckles clashed with Stefano's office door in a subtle knock.
I was greeted with a firm welcoming.
I stared at him. He was still adamant to work the job to his fullest. And that was nothing below perfection.
I don't know why I came here. Closure?
Though now I'm right in front of him I don't know what to say.
"You know I taught you how to walk?" He enlightens me.
I don't think I'll be able to handle a trip down memory lane.
"You also taught me how to kill." I chuckle.
"And I'm proud of the way you turned out." He offers me a smile.
Really?
It hasn't hit me and I don't think it will until he's gone.
"How is Sienna? She hasn't come to see me yet." He sadly asks me.
"I don't think she can find it in her heart to say goodbye."
"She shouldn't have to." He alas says.
"Are you not afraid? Of death, I mean." I curiously question him.
"I can't be afraid of something I've met all too many times." He smiles.
"I just fear for those I leave behind."
"We have each other. There's no reason to fear for any of us." I...ease his mind.
"For a lot of my life I feared for you. I was scared you'd turn into someone dark yet looking at you now I couldn't be prouder."
I didn't fight the tears in my eyes back. The least Stefano deserved was the sincerity of my emotions.
"I feel fortunate to have fathered you like my own."
Ouch.
My arms were shaking so much so I felt the arm rest of the couch shake with me.
"Make sure she comes to dinner tonight. I don't know how long I have left and I want my daughter by my side." He orders me.
An order I promised to full-fill.
Sienna's POV:
I wasn't ready for our lasts.
To think that everything we had previously done could have been our last.
He would never walk me down the aisle or hold my hand as I graduate. My children won't know his heart.
The thought of living a life deprived of a father didn't sit right with me.
I had known him for too little time.
We haven't had time.
I just need more time.
But one thing I have learnt through the loss in my life is that love goes beyond this lifetime.
And though the stars may be my worst enemy they answered my dreams.
I had my father.
And alas I sat down at the dining table ready to consume a meal we would soon learn to be our last.
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This is NOT the end.
However, I feel my story coming to a close so for those asking my guess is that there are about 2 maybe 3 chapters left.
Update: IM CARRYING ON THE BOOK.
More chapters bitches
I'm going to try and write another chapter tonight, if not I apologise.
Though until next time,
Enjoy xx