That night, as I lay in my bed, tears threatened to come to my eyes, but I forced them back, and forced Äsal out of my head.
I did not sleep.
Grey dawn crept through my window and I lay in bed, heavy as if a great load had been laid on my shoulders, and I was helpless to remove it. I sat up, and looked at the table next to my bed. Äsal's letter lay on it. I reached out and took it, crushing it in my grasp, then flinging it into the heart of the fireplace. My breath came slow and heavy. The fire flared, but inside me all was cold. Even if he wasn't dead, he was dead to me now.
I dressed and went down to breakfast. Iio sat at the table alone, eyes red. I sat next to her, and took a slice of meat and some cheese. Her food was untouched. I ate in silence, both of us still in the sunlight streaming through the grand windows.
Finally, she spoke. "Ësal left this morning. He went to our station in the Greatwood."
I put down my fork. "To investigate?"
She drew a long breath. "To investigate." She looked at me. "How are you doing?"
I looked at my plate. "Fine. Father has arranged a marriage for me with a Free Elf prince, so I'm going to be busy today."
Iio dropped her fork. "What?"
I swallowed, and concentrated on my plate. "Father has arranged a peace treaty with the Free Elves, and I will be the seal apparently."
She grabbed my hand, and I met her tearstained eyes. "Do you think this is wise?"
I snatched my hand away and stood, knocking my chair to the floor. Dust swirled around me in the sunlight.
"I have made my choice."
"But, you always loved..."
"Do not say his name." I turned and strode from the room, leaving the sunlight and Iio behind. Every step I took echoed down the hall. I passed by the library door, and stopped, but I had no desire to read. I walked on, passing the door to the gardens, and the ballroom, and the music room. Everything was empty, and I needed to fill it with something.
"Wait!" Iio's voice echoed after me. I stopped, and she caught up. I looked at her. Her eyes filled with tears, but she took my hand. "Are you sure you're fine?"
"Perfectly." I smiled, but it felt so fake I'm sure the effect was less than comforting.
.....
In the next few weeks, there was no word from Ësal. The castle was busy though, with preparations for the party of Free Elves that would be coming. Father sent his fastest courier with the acceptance to the treaty, and they had sent word back that the wedding could take place within the month. Every day I dreaded that the party would get here, and that I would meet my future husband, again. I hadn't seen him since the dinner party. I had to push Äsal from my mind less and less every day. I was too busy dreading my fate, and having dress fittings, and choosing flowers for decorations, and evading Iio's questions.
.........
It was sunny and fresh outside, and the roses were blooming and filling the air with fragrance. I walked in the rose arbor. There was a vine of white roses twining a gate, and I reached out and plucked one, touching its velvet petals.
Far away, a horn blew. I whirled around. A shout rang out from the castle. Something about a group of elves.
They were here.
I flew inside the castle. Iio was inside, and she dragged me to my room.
"You have to change! Here, put on your blue dress, no, not that one, the dark one. No, the other one. Yes, that one. Hurry up! Can't you even put a dress on? Wait, don't tie the belt like that, let me do it. There. It's better that way. Now, take your hair down, and do it this way, stop touching it, you'll mess it up. There you have your crown, now you are done."
I looked at her desperately. "I don't want to do this."
She grasped my shoulders, turned me around, and pushed me out the door. "Go."
I took a deep breath, and made my way to the throne room.
The walls were high and made of a sweet-smelling pale wood, and the sunlight danced through the open windows and over the room, but today it seemed harsh and garish. I went to my throne on my mother's right hand, and sat, my skirts rustling in the dead silence. Courtesans lined the walls on either side. Father and Mother were both there, and they smiled at me. I managed a half smile back, and smoothed my skirts. My breath seemed unable to make its way into my lungs.
The tall doors at the opposite end of the room opened.
"His Royal Highness King Aratel and Her Royal Highness Queen Luvitana. The seventh son of King Araquminas II, his Highness Prince Raön of the Free Elves."
And there he was again. Tall, noble, broad-shouldered, shining in the sun, dressed in vivid blue and green with silver armor. I couldn't look away as he strode across the room towards me. His hair was an unearthly white in the sunlight, braided and free down his back. As he moved, it was as if he was the king here, not my father. I watched his face. His skin was browned and his face noble and handsome, but it was also wild in an unnerving way. As I watched, he met my gaze. I froze. His eyes were far bluer in the daylight. Bluer than the sky and harder than steel. They softened, and he smiled slightly. I wrenched my gaze down to my hands, but it was drawn back up.
The prince bowed, but only slightly, as if he was bowing to an equal. "I am honored to be here in Cilliria, King Aratel, Queen Luvitana." His voice was dark, but not in key. He met my eyes. "Princess Lilya."
So yeah, he pretended not to have met me before. Ha.
"You are welcome here, Prince Raön." Father stood, and reached out his hand to me. I stood reluctantly. He led me towards the prince, and placed my hand in his. I suppressed an urge to snatch my hand back, but he held it gently, and at least his hands weren't clammy. I shuddered.
"Here is my daughter, your betrothed."
My eyes widened. I wanted to sink through the floor, or explode, or do anything but stand there in front of the whole court holding the hand of Prince Raön of the blasted Wild Elves, no matter how handsome he was. I made the mistake of looking up at him. He was smiling at me, blast him. I looked at my father, and tilted my head, glaring.
Then my eyes caught something behind Raon. Prince Ryoc was standing there, eyes hooded, fixed on me, a black leather jerkin dark against his skin. I felt my skin crawl. He tilted his head up, and smiled slowly, shaking his head slightly. You're wasted on him.
I gritted my teeth.
Then the prince bent and kissed my hand, and looked up to meet my eyes. "Again, I am honored beyond words, your highness." His eyes seemed to laugh at me.
My mouth opened, but nothing came out. Now that sounded sarcastic.
Father rescued me. "If you would like, we could talk further in the gardens."
Prince Raön inclined his head, and offered his arm to me, and Father led the way out of the throne room, leaving the court whispering behind.
As we walked through the halls, the sun shone through every wide window, and a breeze threatened to twine my hair. I glanced up at the prince. He looked as if he expected me to make small talk. Right. I'm certainly not going to ask about the weather.
"So." The prince looked down at me. "Is the weather here always so cool?"
I choked, then had to cough. He looked at me oddly. "This is the hottest part of the year." I managed to say.
"Oh! Back home this is as cool as wintertime." He smiled, and his bright teeth flashed. "I'll have to get used to it, I suppose."
A shadow fell over my thoughts. At least Father didn't want me to live in a jungle. I closed my eyes for a moment, and pushed back the urge to cry. I had agreed to this. Even if it didn't make it any less terrible. At least it wasn't Prince Ryoc, with his hard eyes and disturbing threats.
I straightened, and fixed my gaze ahead. The hallway in front of us was empty.
I sucked in a breath. Where had Father gone?? The gate to the garden path was ahead, so I walked faster. But the prince merely matched my stride with his long legs. I fought the urge to run, and gritted my teeth. We reached the gate and the prince reached ahead and opened it for me. I smiled, but made sure it didn't reach my eyes.
Outside, the glorious summer day hit with full force, humid and breezy. Bright flowers waved in the breeze, and the stream ran merrily on its way through the whole garden.
It was a magnificent garden, with multiple levels, hanging vines everywhere, and hidden paths and shelters all throughout. You could easily get lost, as the bushes and plants and waterfalls and twisted paths made it difficult to see further than ten feet in any direction. The first level was mostly rosebushes and vines, twining everywhere and filling the green with bright yellow and scarlet and pink and pure white blooms. The second level, ten feet below the Rose Arbor, was reached by a hidden staircase, and was filled with waterfalls spreading mist, with vines and trees and wildflowers everywhere, with the sun breaking through here and there to spread its light. It was my favorite. We walked there, but the sweet flowers and waterfalls had no charm for me now. Clouds began to roll over the sky.
Father was nowhere in the gardens, and I became angrier the more we walked, and an awkward silence grew. Presently, we came upon the stair to the hedge maze, which was the third level of the gardens. I went to the top, and tried to look over the maze, but couldn't see anything.
"Why would you torture me like this?" I muttered.
"Beg pardon?" Prince Raön came to my side.
"Oh! Er, I was wondering if you would like to see the hedge maze?" I cringed slightly. I had never actually been able to find the exit to the maze, in all my many years of trying. This did not bode well.
Idiot.
"If you are not tired of my company."
I stole a glance at his face, but it was perfectly polite. My eyes narrowed, but I said brightly, "Of course not!"
"Then by all means," His eyes seemed to be laughing at me again. He held out his arm, and I took it, and we went down the stairs. I took a deep breath as we fell under the cool shadow of the hedge. I looked up at the sky, and felt even more uneasy. More clouds were rolling in, covering the azure blue.
"What do you enjoy doing?"
I looked back at Prince Raön, trying to read his expression. "Generally, reading."
His mouth quirked up. "You are trying to read me, are you not?"
I clenched my jaw. How dare he? I contented myself with a pointed glare.
"I had heard that you were very clever, but no one thought to tell me how lovely you were when irritated."
Rage burned up my chest. "And I had heard that the Free Elves were wild, but no one thought to tell me they were low and impudent as well." I jerked my arm free of his, and walked ahead. The light fled, and dark clouds covered the sky completely now. I walked faster. A flash of lightning split the sky. I rushed around a corner, and faced a fork in the path. Not wanting the prince to catch up, I ran through the right one, then a left one, as raindrops splattered on the path. I ran and ran, glancing behind me now and then. Where was the end of this blasted maze? I took a left, then another right. The wind picked up, whirled the leaves and made the hedges lean. Thunder crashed all around.
My skirt dragged behind me, sopping wet. I could barely see through the rain pouring all around. The lightning flashed all around, and I ran ahead. The end had to be soon. I tripped, but kept on. The rain ran into my eyes, but I shielded them, and ran faster. I dodged a puddle, but ran straight into a hedge. I screamed as the branches scratched my face and chest and arms, and fell to the ground, blinded by the rain running into my eyes. A flash of lightning struck the ground with a deafening crack, seemingly right in front of me. I threw my arms over my face, and pressed back into the hedge.
A hand grasped my arm, and I was pulled to my feet. Through the rain, I saw the prince. He wrapped an arm around me, sheltering me from most of the rain, even though we were both soaked by now.
"Where is the other end of this maze?" He shouted over the thunder.
I cringed. "I don't know!"
"What?!" His face was inches from mine.
I drew back. "I'm sorry! I've never actually been through the whole thing!"
"Then why..."
"It was not from a desire to be in this position at all, if you were wondering." I snapped. "If Father hadn't left...if you hadn't been so rude."
He bit his lip, and had the grace to look rueful. "I am slightly sorry about that one."
I raised a brow. "Oh really?"
He gracefully ignored that comment, and me as well. I reciprocated.
A bolt of lightning struck the ground, close to us, blinding and deafening.
The prince grabbed my hand and dragged me back the way we had come. We went around corners and through arches, but I felt like we were only going in circles. The rain pounded the mud, and with every step I took mud soaked my feet to the ankles. We rounded a corner, and I saw a staircase.
"There!" I pointed. I bolted up the steps, dragging the soggy prince behind me. I heaved a breath at the top, looking over the garden until I saw a cave. I dropped his hand and ran into it, plopping on the rocky ground.
The prince ducked his head and came and sat beside me. "If it's all the same to you, let's not go into the maze again, with your strange northern weather."
The rain created a sort of curtain over the mouth of the cave, with drops falling and pattering. I edged away from him. "I agree." I looked at him. My word, he wasn't even breathing heavily. I decided to try and discourage any conversation, and examined my nails. I could feel him watching me, probably with that irritating look of amusement. The rain lessened some, and in a sudden break in the clouds, the setting sun filled the cave, brilliantly igniting every raindrop, and setting the clouds a rich purple. I caught my breath, and stared. The clouds began to dissipate, each one rosy gold or pink or purple, with a painfully blue sky beyond. Every green was deeper, the spiderwebs were made of glass and diamonds, and mist rose from the ground to fill the air. I stood, and ran to the mouth of the cave, but a movement behind me jerked me back to reality. The prince came and stood beside me. I glanced at his face from the corner of my eye. His eyes were fixed on the sunset, bluer than the sky, and a smile played around his lips. Then his eyes flicked to my face. I looked forward.
"The rain stopped." I said.
"Yes."
"We must get back."
"Of course."
I looked back at him. He was laughing at me again, for sure. I looked ahead, then tore out of the cave without looking back, and ran up the winding path leading to the Rose Arbor, went through the arch, through the Arbor, rose bushes snagging at my skirts, and finally came to the castle door. I took a deep breath, and opened it, going through and closing it behind me. I leaned against the door, shivering. The candles along the hall had been lit, and the windows closed to the cool air.
There was a knock. I sighed. I could lock it and leave the prince to get in some other way. I could walk away...
My conscience stabbed me. The prince was just as wet and cold as I was.
I opened the door.
And there stood Äsal.