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Chapter 50
Duck
"Jax..." I called. "Are you really dating Claire?"
I've been meaning to ask him this. Gusto ko lang sanang malaman kung ano ang totoo.
Jax looked at me like I was a mere stranger. Like I wasn't the person he loved before... And it's breaking my heart.
"Why do you care?"
Napalunok ako at hindi inaasahan ang sagot niya. I can feel the water in my eyes already.
"You're already jumping to one Saavedra to another, what more do you want from me? Saan mo pa ako gagamitin?"
My jaw dropped. I really never expect words like that from him and it hurts.
"Can't we even be friends?" I asked, trying so hard for my voice not to break.
Kahit iyon na lang. Kahit iyong kausapin manlang niya ako. Hindi pa rin niya maibibigay iyon?
Jax slightly shook his head. "I don't want to be friends with you."
I felt a pang in my chest the moment he turned his back on me. Agad akong napahawak sa dibdib ko. I was about to check my heart rate pero nagulat ako dahil hindi ko pala suot ang watch ko. Oh no!
I quickly went back to our room to find it but it wasn't there! Nasaan na kaya iyon?
Bigla kong naalala iyong game kanina kung saan tinanggal ko iyon. Oh my God! Pati iyong necklace ko hindi ko na nakuha! It was Jaxith's gift!
I quickly went back to the field where we played. Madilim pa naman na. I got my phone and opened the flashlight. Halos atakihin ako nang tumambad si Grant sa harapan ko tapos may hawak pa siyang libro.
"What are you doing here?" I asked.
Tinapat ko pa iyong flashlight sa mukha niya.
"I don't like crowded places," Grant said.
As expected, bato.
I rolled my eyes. "Samahan mo na lang akong hanapin 'yong necklace and watch ko!"
Hinatak ko siya kaya wala na siyang choice.
"Saan kaya 'yun napunta?" I whispered to myself while trying to find it. Lumingon ako kay Grant. "Alam mo naman itsura ng hinahanap natin, 'di ba?"
Umiling si Grant kaya napa-facepalm na lang ako.
"My watch, it's a like an almost color pink strap," I told him. "And my necklace... Umm..."
Napatigil ako dahil hindi ko alam kung paano iyon sasabihin.
"The Pereira one?" he asked without looking at me. Nakatingin lang siya sa lupa at naghahanap-hanap.
"Mmm..." I simply agreed.
Seryoso niya akong tinignan at may bahid iyon ng pag-aalala. "Kaya ka ba umiyak?"
Agad akong umiling. "I didn't cry!"
"Your eyes are red, stupid."
They were? Agad akong nag-iwas ng tingin. Natahimik kami pareho kaya naisipan kong magkwento na lang tungkol sa nangyari kanina. I can tell anything to Grant anyway.
"You know I tried talking to him earlier..." I said while walking beside Grant.
Parehong naka-on ang flashlight ng phones namin at nakatutok iyon sa nilalakaran naming dalawa.
"And?"
"It seems like he is really dating Claire..." I said. "Were they close the past years? I mean... Are they like laughing with each other, going out..."
"How would I know?" tamad na tanong ni Grant. "I really don't care about the people around me."
Inangilan ko siya. Kasi oo nga pala! He doesn't really care about anyone and anything! I shouldn't be surprised at all.
Pag lulubog ang barko tapos papipiliin siya kung sino ang ililigtas niya, sigurado akong dalawang beses niyang pipiliing iligtas ang sarili niya. That's Grant Saavedra.
Medyo blessing pa na kinakausap at tinutulungan niya ako.
Malalim akong huminga habang naiisip na baka si Jax at Claire na nga talaga.
"He didn't even wait for me..." I ranted.
Grant looked at me like I was pitiful. "Maybe he didn't, but someone else sure did."
Mahina ang boses niya kaya hindi ko iyon narinig masyado. "What?"
"Wala, sabi ko, panget ka kasi."
Inirapan ko siya at nagpatuloy na lang sa paghahanap. Tignan mo ang pag-uugali!
"I told myself that I'll accept it if he already loves someone else. That I'll be happy for him... But why can't I do it now?"
Malalim na huminga si Grant. His eyes were dark, like it was saying something that I couldn't comprehend.
"We always say na kung saan sila masaya, roon tayo. Pero ang nasa isip natin is bakit hindi na lang sa 'tin?" Grant said and looked at me intently. "Bakit hindi na lang sa 'kin?"
My mouth formed a circle because he was right. Grant was right.
We always want happiness for the people that we love, but we can't help not to think about why it can't be with us?
Malapit na kami sa dulo ni Grant pero bigla naming nakasalubong si Xuri.
"Saan ka galing? Kanina pa kita hinahanap! Malapit na ang finale song!" Xuri said out loud.
"Nawawala kasi yung necklace and watch ko, I think I lost it kanina sa game..."
"Hala!" Xuri shouted and grabbed my arm. "Naku, bakit mo kasi hinubad pati 'yong monitoring watch mo? Tara, hanapin natin!"
Naghiwahiwalay kaming tatlo para mas mabilis ang paghahanap. It's been a few minutes at nakakaramdam na ako ng pagod pero wala pa rin akong nakikita.
Hinanap ko ang dalawa pero mas nauna kong nakita si Grant. Nakapaluhod siya sa isang sulok. I was immediately touched. Aw, he's so invested on finding my things!
Umuwang ang bibig ko nang makitang hindi pala siya naghahanap. He was petting a duck. A baby duck! Oh my God, Grant Saavedra!
"W-What are you doing?" I asked, still very shocked and surprised.
"I found a duckling," he said and madly starring at it. The baby duck was starring at him too like they have a deep connection!
"Are you serious?"
Tumayo siya at nginusuan ako. "She's following me everywhere... I can't leave her behind."
Mas lalo akong napanganga. "How did you even know that it's a she?"
"I just assumed..." he said and even carried the duckling.
Grant looked like he was so attached to it already. Parang ilang minuto lang kami na naghiwa-hiwalay, ah! My gosh!
"Grant, leave the poor duckling alone. Baka hinahanap na siya ng parents niya!"
Masungit akong tinignan ni Grant. "What if she's the embryo that we didn't eat earlier?!"
Oh my God. Seriously?
"Pag ikaw sinugod bigla ng mga parent ducks kasi kinukuha mo 'yong baby nila, lagot ka!" giit ko pa. "Leave it there, okay?"
"Fine!" aniya na parang masama ang loob.
Hinanap ko na si Xuri pero natatawa pa rin ako kay Grant. Parang like gusto niya pang i-uwi 'yung duck! Gosh!
Mamaya malaman pa ng keeper na nagkulang iyong ducks, i-sue pa ang buong academy!
"Nahanap na?" Xuri yelled when she saw me.
I shook my head from a far.
"Dapat pala sinama ko sina Chance para natulungan tayo sa paghahanap," ani Xuri.
Doon ko lang ulit naalala na tatanungin ko nga pala siya tungkol sa kung anong mayroon sila ni Chance!
"Xuri!" I put my hands over her shoulders. "What's really going on between you and Chance? I know you're not really dating!"
Agad na tinakpan ni Xuri ang bibig ko. "Shh! Baka may makarinig!" aniya at parang nag-panic pa kahit halos kaming dalawa lang ang tao.
"What nga?"
Xuri crossed her arms at parang tinatantsa pa kung sasabihin o hindi. She then pouted. "I'm trying to make Gelo jealous!"
My jaw dropped. "W-What? I don't get it!"
Gelo? Jealous? What?!
I was so confused. "Does Gelo like Chance?!" tanong ko pa.
Biglang napa-facepalm si Xuri. "Oh my God, Calixta!" aniya na tila problemado sa akin. "Me! I think he likes me! I think he's not really gay! Or maybe just 50%, but not 100% gay!"
I did not expect any of this at all. Was Xuri imagining things?
"You're crazy, Xuriella! How can you say that?"
Mas marami pa ngang crush si Gelo na boys kaysa sa aming dalawa!
"I'm not like you, Cali! I can feel it... The way he is about me? It's just really different! Pero ayaw niya kasing aminin!"
Agad na kumunot ang noo ko sa una niyang sinabi. "What do you mean you're not like me?"
"Hindi ako manhid gaya mo!"
"Huh? I'm not manhid!" giit ko at nagpamaywang pa.
"Manhid ka! Ni hindi mo nga alam na may gusto sa 'yo si Grant!" Xuri said. Nagugulantang ako sa mga sinasabi niya!
My mouth was left wide open. Okay, now she's being ridiculous. "Grant doesn't like me! Come on! 'Yun pa?"
"See! Manhid!" ani Xuriella Ocampo at inirapan pa ako.
"I'm not! Gusto mo tanungin ko pa si Grant!" laban ko pa.
"Ah, basta... Ako, malakas ang pakiramdam ko. Alam ko 'yong mga ganyan ganyan." Xuri even shook her head like she was tired of me!
Si Grant magkakagusto sa 'kin? No way!
"Having crushes is like my hobby!" Xuri proudly added. "Maniwala ka sa expert!"
"Let's just find my necklace, Xuri!" natatawang sabi ko dahil hindi naman ako naniniwala sa kanya.
We spent another minute walking around the grassy field. Isang oras na ata kami paikot-ikot diro pero wala pa rin talaga!
"Where could it be?" I asked myself.
"Ito ba ang hinahanap mo?" Claire suddenly appeared from nowhere. She threw something on the ground. Lumapit ako and I saw that it was my necklace and my watch!
Kukunin ko na sana iyon pero nagulat ako nang biglang niyang pinag-aapakan.
"Are you crazy?!" I shouted.
I was about to push her when Xuri came and pulled Claire's hair.
"Sumusobra ka na!" malakas na sabi ni Xuri.
Agad ko namang inawat si Xuri kaya naman nabitawan niya na ang buhok ni Claire na sobrang gulo na ngayon.
"You know what, Xuri? I really want to be friends with you before... Pero hindi na ngayon! Look at you? Mayaman ka nga, pero wala ka namang class."
Xuri was about to attack Claire again but I held her arm.
"Excuse me?" Xuri raised her eyebrow. "Meron kaya akong class! 8:00am to 4:00pm, magkaklase pa nga tayo, ilusyunadang 'to!"
Kinuha ko iyong watch at necklace ko na inapak-apakan ni Claire. My watch did crack, pero buti na lang at hindi nasira iyong necklace ko. Kahit papaano, nakahinga ako ng maluwag.
"Cali, let's go," Xuri called.
Tumayo ako at hinarap si Claire, labis ang pagkairita.
"You don't deserve that necklace. Hindi ka na babalikan ni Jax! Live with it, you spoiled brat!" asik ni Claire
I tried to be calm as much as possible. Tinignan ko ang relo ko bago siya ulit tinignan.
"You should pay for this," I said and showed her my watch. "But I'm afraid that you might not afford it, so I will let this one pass."
They want a spoiled brat, I'll give them a spoiled brat.
Tinalikuran ko na siya at susundan na sana si Xuri nang magsalita pa si Claire.
"You're so sheltered, Cali!" ani Claire kaya napahinto ako. "You have no idea what life's really like."
Unti-unti ko siyang hinarap. What does she mean by that?
"Influence works better than money," aniya. "Hindi ka na babalikan ni Jax, tandaan mo 'yan!"
Hindi iyon nawala sa isip ko hanggang makauwi kami from the retreat. What was she saying? I don't understand her at all.
Napalitan na rin ang heart monitoring watch ko. Sinabi ko na lang na nabasag iyon sa laro, medyo nagalit ang Mommy dahil baka raw masyado kong inaabuso ang lakas at katawan ko. She warned me again about having body guards that follows me everywhere in school and not just around the gates.
Back in the academy, I felt like I needed to breathe. Malapit na ang feasibility study and in the next few months, practicum naman. Ang dami kong iniisip, dumadagdag pa si Claire at Jax.
I went to the Pad's rooftop to breathe. I really, really missed it here. The cold breeze of the wind, the blue sky, and the whole view of the academy. It was so beautiful and relaxing.
Napatingin ako sa langit at parang inaanyayahan ako nitong sumigaw. I stood up and put my hands around my mouth, ready to shout my heart out.
"Hindi lahat kasalanan ng nang-iwan! 'Yong iba, napilitan lang iwan dahil patuloy lang na masasaktan!"
Para akong tanga. But it was a good shout, pakiramdam ko, gumaan ng kaunti ang bigat sa dibdib.
Ilang saglit pa ay may narinig na akong nag-qua-quack quack! Halos mapatalon ako nang makita si Grant na may kargang bibe.
"Oh my God!" I yelled.
Yumuko si Grant at ibinaba 'yong duck na panay lang ang buntot sa kanya. What's happening here?
"I-Is that the duckling you found on the farm?!" I asked hysterically.
Don't tell me it's the same duckling? He brought that from Zambales?! And how did he even went to school with it? Pets are not allowed!
Grant nodded his head like it was nothing.
Mabilis ko siyang nahampas. "Are you baliw? Baka hanapin ng may-ari!"
"I bought it!" giit niya pero kahit doon ay nabigla pa rin ako. He seriously bought a duck?!
"For how much?" I asked curiously.
"Ten thousand," Grant simply said.
My eyes widened. What?! Ang mura naman ata?
"They want me to have it for free, but I insisted to pay even just for a small amount."
I rolled my eyes at him. "You can just buy a dog or something!"
Dog or cat... O kahit isda na lang sana! Why would he even want to have a pet duck?
He's suddenly so attached to ducks! I can't believe this!
"I told you, she kept on following me! I can't just leave her behind..." Grant said while looking at the bibe like it was the most precious thing ever. "I think she thinks that I'm her Dad."
I was speechless. I have nothing to say or I can't think of any.
"What's her name?" tanong ko na lang.
"Naiam," Grant said and pointed at me. "Nyeam," he then pointed at the duck.
I can't. I just can't with him! My God!
Habang nakatitig sa baby duck ni Grant ay bigla kong naalala iyong sinabi sa 'kin ni Xuri na may gusto sa akin si Grant. It's really nonsense!
I was about to ask him about it when Jax suddenly appeared at the rooftop.
"Jax..." I called.
His eyes threw daggers. "Ms. Gonzalez and Mr. Saavedra, this rooftop isn't a dating place."
Unti-unting umuwang ang bibig ko roon. "We're not da–"
"The rooftop will be closed as of today," Jax said and turned his back on us. Malalim at may diin ang kanyang boses.
What's with him? He's pulling off another Master Sergeant act!
Nag-alala naman ako para sa baby duck ni Grant na si Nyeam. Where will she hide if the rooftop was closed?!
The next day, the students were all gathered at the big hall. I have no idea kung ano ang announcement or kung may event ba sa araw na ito, but flowers can be spotted everywhere in the school.
We're now waiting for the new headmistress.
"Ano ba ang meron?" I curiously asked Xuri.
Xuri looked at me worriedly. "It's the death anniversary of Jaxith's mom."
Umuwang ang bibig ko roon at natulala na lamang. I was completely shocked that my heart started to hurt.
"D-Death anniversary?" paglilinaw ko kay Xuri.
Did I hear her correctly? Baka naman mali lang ako ng dinig!
Xuri nodded and my knees suddenly felt weak.
"I'm sorry we didn't have the chance to tell you earlier. We thought that the news will be too much for you, Cali... I'm really sorry."
My eyes started to water but then I started looking for Jax. I can't see him anywhere in the hall. Agad akong lumabas. I looked for him in the greenhouse, in the library, in the lab... Pero wala siya roon. I was running and getting tired already but I want to see Jax. I need to see Jax.
I went to the Pad Building but the light indicator outside Jax's door says that there's no person inside. Where could he be?
Pababa na sana ako sa elevator nang bigla kong naalala ang sinaradong rooftop kahapon! He might be there!
Dali-dali kong pinindot ang elevator paakyat sa rooftop. Panay ang takbo ko. When I finally reached the top floor, my heart completely shuttered when I saw him there.
Nasa isang sulok lang si Jax, nakaupo sa sahig at nakasandal ang ulo sa sariling mga tuhod.
My tears started to fall down my face.
"Jax!" I called and went to him right away. Pumaluhod ako sa gilid niya.
Mas lalo akong naiyak dahil nakikita ko siya sa ganitong kalagayan.
Unti-unting bumangon si Jax at kitang-kita ko ang pamumula ng mga mata niya. He was crying so much.
"She left me just a year before you did..." he said in between sobs. "I have no one else since then."
Napahikbi ako at agad siyang yinakap. "You have me. You always have me."
I was caressing his head while hugging him. I can feel his pain and all I want was to take it all away.
"I'm sorry..." I cried. "I'm so sorry."
He slowly put his arms around me and it warmed my heart. Mahigpit ang yakap sa akin ni Jax pero ramdam ko ang matinding pag-iingat.
"Pwede bang gamitin mo na lang ako?" his voice was filled with pain. "Please, gamitin mo na lang ulit ako. Okay lang sa akin. Basta kasama kita, okay lang lahat sa akin."