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Story time
⚠️TRIGGER WARNING!!!!⚠️
🚫GUYS THIS CHAPTER CONTAIN MILD ABUSE.🚫
I'll post intimation too, so that you can skip if you're uncomfortable.
Taehyung's POV
I locked the door behind me and followed her who has now seated herself on the edge of our bed. Her fingers were interlaced with her hands not with mine like usual. I heard her say "Now tell me Tae," in a calm voice, who was looking at me expectantly. I slowly took her hands in mine intertwining them together.
It's time to face the past, that I had been avoiding all these days by running away from it and cloaking it up with anger. I can't lose her and I would never ever afford such thoughts. I took a deep breath before I started speaking. "I had a great family Aria. Each and everyday was filled with happiness. My parents drowned me in their love. But there was this specific day that changed everything, completely destroying my family and my alive, happy self.
Flashback
Author's POV
There was a father who was playing with his son in the backyard of a beautiful house. The sight was welcoming as the father tickled his 5 year old son who was laying on his back on the grass. They both had a smile that indicates nothing but happiness and adoration.
"Tae, come here baby. It's time for lunch," softly called a woman.
The loud giggles and laughter made the woman's voice sound proof to their ears.
"Moon Hwo and Tae both come here now," yelled the woman again with sternness visible in her tone. The father was still on top of the boy, tickling him with bliss. The family didn't know that it would be the last time they would laugh like this ever.
"Moon Hwo," they heard a yell above them. His dad immediately stopped and lifted him in his embrace. The woman was playfully glaring at us. They both said in unison "Sorry Momma," which made her smile. She was his mother. Kim Taehyung's mother. Moon Hwa's wife. The only lady that made his father learn love and made Taehyung despise love.
His mother lifted him from his dad's embrace and showered her kisses on her little toddler making the little guy giggle merrily.
" Is my baby hungry" ?, asked his mom.
The little boy Tae nodded cutely at her. "Come let's fight with the little rats in my baby boy's tummy,"said his mom with her bright smile.
Little Taehyung's POV
Never in a million, I thought that would be the last time I will get to see her smile at me. I nodded at her with a smile, giggling at my parents as they kissed my cheeks. I was playing with my toys as she fed me some salads.
"I want some chocolates mommy, please," I pouted at her. She went to get me my chocolates from the fridge as I played with my toys.
I was playing with a real gun which I found in my Dad's coat a while ago. Even in my wildest dreams I never thought it to be a real gun. The big metallic object refused to stay on my little hands slipping away from me to the ground. When I picked it up again, I dropped it down again. I irritatedly took it and took ahold of it with my both hands. My index finger crawled to the small hold that had a trigger.
As I didn't know how to use it, I accidentally pulled the trigger thinking it to be my water gun. Due to the bullets force I fall back on the floor with a thud. The bullet hit our family photo frame that hung on the wall of the living room. The frame crashed to the ground along with my family, just like the uncountable pieces scattered there my family broke apart.
My Dad rushed to us with a panicked face while I was shocked with the new toy. I looked up when my mom lifted me up dusting me up and she snatched the toy away from me dropping my chocolates to the ground. I looked at her with a pout while my mom checked me, later my toys. My dad looked at the photo frame, the gun in my mom's hand and me. I never expected that one bullet would forever change my life. Dad checked me and my mom frantically to see any of us are hurt.
Mom asked me, "Where did you get this from?" in an angry voice that made me shiver.
" Maa I found this in dad's coat while playing," I said in my tiny voice.
I don't know what happened next as they left me in my room and locked me inside. I heard yelling outside. They weren't talking with me properly. At that time, I didn't know what to do nor I understood what was going on. The only thing I figured out was Mom and Dad were fighting for God knows what reason. I cried every night to sleep because I heard them yelling non-stop. My once warm and caring parents were gone instead they were cold and distant towards me.
After a week, when I returned from school I found Mom and Dad yelling again. I cried looking at them. I don't know why suddenly Mom yelled, "I want a divorce. I can't live with a killer," she had a bag in her hand and was about to leave the house. I crawled up to her and held her leg crying. At that age I didn't know the meaning of divorce but all I know was she was leaving me behind.
"Mamma noo.. Don't leave me Mamma. I can't live without you mama. Taetae loves you mamma. Mamma please mamma please. Don't leave to the nightmare, they were chasing me all these days. Don't leave me back to them," I begged her.
"Taehyung let me go,"she said to me in a cold tone.
I shook my head no,"Mamma sorry. I will not play with my toys nor stain my clothes. I will do my homework and never eat chocolates. I will be a good Boy Mamma. Don't leave Appa and me."
"I said let me go," she yelled again trying to free herself from me.
I cried harder saying " Momma please mamma. Appa needs you mamma. Tae needs you mamma. I will not play with my watergun anymore. I will never trouble you mamma, please mamma dont leave me," I begged her again.
Her eyes showed me an expression which I could not understand. I was a way too small and the things happening were beyond my understanding at that age.
She pushed me harshly and yelled," I can't think I have given birth to dirt like you. You are not my son and I hate you. You are his son. His blood, his killer blood runs inside you. I save life while he kills people mercilessly. Hear me I HATE YOU KIM TAEHYUNG. Don't you dare call me your mother," She stomped past me leaving me in a puddle of tears.
I went to my dad who stood frozen in his place mirroring my tear drenched face.
I called him "Appa,"and hugged his legs. He pushed me harshly and took my right arm in his fist tightly making the tears pour uncontrollably again. I whimpered, "A-pp-a..it- s hu- rrti-ng...A--ppa."
He spoke as tears flowed his cheeks once again,"It's because of you. It's because of you your mom left me."
He slapped me hard on my cheek as I cried in agony. Dad pushed me to the floor and walked away leaving me in my own mess. Both of them left me in the dark world of loneliness, pain, hurt, despair and desolation. They promised to be with me forever but they left me in a time when I needed them the most. They said they loved me so much but they were all lies. Love was fake. They never loved me.
I cried and cried but none was there to comfort me or to stop those endless tears. I slept on the carpet. After that I never saw Mom. Dad came home drunk. He was angry, breaking things and I was locked in my room crying.
I hate you KimTaehyung was running in my mind. Uncle Kim (Namjoon hyung's Dad) came and talked to dad. Dad was searching mom using all his resources every single day but we could not find her. One day someone kidnapped me when I was coming back from school. They made me unconscious by smacking something against my nose that I fell limp on the strangers arms. I woke when I left like I was jiggling in the air.
A man who was almost my dad's age was holding me roughly by my shirt pointing a gun at me. Infront of me stood my dad who was yelling at him to let me go which was all deaf to the stranger who was manhandling me. My eyes sprung with unshed tears but never once I let them fall or begged him to leave me. His tight grip around my fragile body caused them turn dark purple, but never did I atleast let out a squeak nor a noise. I saw my dad was holding a gun against a man. He shot the one who was holding me and saved me.
Then he came, Max. He was also a Mafia don which I came to know when I grew up. I closed my eyes and pressed myself to my dad's chest. There was a commotion in there. Many gunshots were heard, people yelling and running in all directions. It was a whole lot of blood and mess. I heard a gunshot again as we were running out. Suddenly I heard a woman's cry which seemed familiar.
The voice was similar to my Mom. My dad stopped in his tracks when he heard her. I looked up from my dad's chest. I found my Mom.
I yelled, "Momm."
My dad yelled, "Nayeonnnn."
Tears streamed both our faces as we watched her getting shot in front of our eyes. Her pearl white skin drenched in her own blood. Her shining eyes that lost their spark as she landed on the floor closing her beautiful eyes forever.
I screamed, "Mamma..."
My dad was about to run but stopped my Uncle Kim and his men. We tried to go near her but they took us away there saying it was dangerous for us. I cried all my way along while my dad shouted and yelled, punching and breaking things. Uncle Kim dropped us back home after 3 days of Mom's death.
⚠️Trigger warning scenes.⚠️
That night dad came home drunk. I was in my room crying. He entered my room with his belt. I shivered at him because he was not looking like my dad. He looked scary and his features screamed animalistic hurt.
"Tae come here," he growled at me. I went towards him shivering. Tears were pouring endlessly from my already bloodshot eyes.
"Why did you do this? Why did you do this he yelled ? Why did you take her away from me?," saying this he whipped me with his belt. I yelled as the pain went through the soft skin of my body. The pain was beyond words that made me scream after each hit. He left the door when I fainted from all the pain. I myself woke up the next day and found red markings on my body. That was the start of hell in my life.
Flashback end.
The flashback is based upon a 5years old POV. This is what he observed. You will see the elaboration of the flashback in the upcoming parts.
After that day he started abusing me daily. And after that day I neither screamed nor cried when he whipped me up on a daily basis. I would be covered in blood most mornings. I will limp myself to the bathroom and stand up on the bathroom cabinets and do my first aid my mom taught me to do. I once went unconscious for days and my neighbour picked me up and admitted me in hospital. You know what? Even then my dad was blaming me for my mom's death and never bothered to check up on me in the hospital. I was again forced to enter hell again after a week when my dad came to hospital just to drag me back and beat me to death.
No one could file a complaint or anything because the whole town was aware of my dad's social status and that he was a mafia. The hospital chief informed my Uncle who rushed to face my half dead form. When Uncle Kim came to visit me and found dad hitting me like a mad man he lost it and hit dad making his drunk form stumble. He thought I was dead as I laid so still on the carpet. For 3 years I lived in that hell and I have even wondered how I ever survived that.
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End of triggering content.
Uncle Kim took me to his place fighting with my dad. Pain, hurt, anger, frustration, hatred was all that was running inside my nerves. My bones were broken, my heart was beyond repair and mind locked and sealed every possible emotion from reaching my heart. I lost everything in a blink of an eye. Everything. There was no form of me living except me breathing and blinking my eyes.
I had nightmares and I suffered a lot to get through them. That cost me my alive self and turned me to someone cold and heartless. I developed anger issues and hyungs helped me through. They were my only family who never gave up on my impulsive and rude ass. Dad was recovering but he never once came to visit me. When I was 9 I came to know that my mom got together with another guy after leaving my dad.
That day Max not only kidnapped me but also my Mom. Dad didn't know that and he killed my Mom in front of our eyes for God knows what reason for. Later Dad got photos of Mom being with other men. Again he went back to his old self getting drunk and wasted.
I hated her. I hated everything about her. From her sweet smiles, her ove willed eyes, for soft voice to her betrayal. Every single thing haunted me in my dreams strangling me and squeezing my soul. I promised to hate her. Well that is what I told myself. She promised that she will never leave me and my dad at any point of life.
It was her betrayal that made him addicted to drugs, which once almost cost his life. Even after leaving him, cheating on him, my dad could not hate her. His love was too strong and his emotions were too hard for her to throw away..
He was madly in love with her. No still now he loves her. He didn't trust anything. He blindly believed her and took pain willing just for clinging onto her memories. I saw him going through all those pain all alone.
Why can't she trust him when she says she loves him? Within 1 week of leaving my dad she got together with another man. Everything seemed fake. How can someone throw away a relationship within a week? Men were fooled by women.
I hated love and relationships. I disgusted women with no discriination. No one was true and no one was willing to last their relationship life long. As I grew, women fell on me. Even married women would wait for a hook up with me ditching their husband.They act all lovey dovey in front of their husband but behind their back they try to hit on me.
I thought all women were the same until I saw you. When I saw you I was immediately drawn towards your innocent self. I admired your bold attitude and your daring nature. You were so pure and innocent like an angel from heaven like your face said. After meeting you for the second time my gut told you will be the death of me. I ignored all the signs because I was scared of love.
And when you asked about my mom that day. I was reminded of the horrible past. To protect my heart I was acting all stupid and inconsiderste, hurting you to protect myself from love because I know I was already bewitched by you. I was scared of the control you had over me without even trying. My mind and heart was always wandering over your thoughts without my concern.
I never expected a girl would make me this weak. When I grew up I made sure I was never attached to anything except my brothers. Falling in love was never possible to even think of but when you entered my life everything I feared happened and I started to fall for you. And the thing was I wasn't even aware of it. You took your place in my heart that can never be taken or replaced. The more you pushed me and ignored me the more and more I was drawn towards you.
The attraction that pulled me towards you made me angry thinking you will never feel that way. So I hurted you in every possible way, trying to build a conversation with you. You never tried to initiate a conversation, ask me to dates, or try to seduce me like the other girls did. You were a beautiful butterfly that attracted the once closed gates of love inside me to open with your bewitching spell.
When you finally accepted me I was so happy but I was feeling restless again what if you leave me like my mother. My mom left my dad after knowing that he was a mafia. She got scared of him and decided to end their relationship. I was scared that you will leave me like my mom. Each and every time I asked you whether you were intimidated by me was just because I never wanted you to be. I always want you to feel only loved. I never want you to get scared of me. I swear that was the only reason I hid this from you.
I was frightened that I would lose you. I can't lose you baby.
I can't...
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A/N
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That was a heartbreaking chapter guys. Taehyung had the worst tragedy a child could ever face.
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ublished on 28.03.2021