Song of the chapter: Two- Sleeping at Last
Truthfully- I hated the fact that Draco needed to save me. I was perfect competent but I was grateful he was there anyway.
He had his hand around me arm, gently pulling me along down the hall after saving me from the two Death Eaters.
It wasn't until we were back in his bedroom that I noticed his cheeks were wet with tears.
"Draco!" I exclaimed, turning myself towards him and wiping the wet streaks off of his face. "What's wrong?"
He shook his head, begging me not to ask. But I couldn't have that.
I didn't have the chance to persuade him to tell me because only seconds after he sat on the edge of his bed he broke out into sobs. His breathing came in so fast I wasn't even sure he exhaled at all.
"I'm dying," he breathed, his eyes wide with fear.
"What?" I asked, terrified at his sudden outburst.
"I can't breath. I can't- I can't breath," he was practically screaming.
Was there anything I knew about panic attacks that would help him? I'd had very few in my life and all of them had only stopped because I'd let them fade out with time. I didn't think this one would stop anytime soon so I searched my brain for any kind of consolation I could give.
"Draco," I said quickly, trying not to panic.
I put my hand over his heart and moved him until his back was resting against the headboard of his bed.
"Take a deep breath, okay? Just focus on your breathing."
I wasn't sure if this was the right thing to say but I had to try something. It didn't help, he was trembling, eyes wide, mouth open pulling in all the air around him but barely getting enough.
Hours seemed to pass in a matter of seconds, a feeling that I can most accurately describe as having the wind knocked out of you.
Finally, after minutes of panic and pain; pain, for he'd pinched his wrist so hard it drew blood, I did the one thing I hadn't thought to try. I curled myself into his arms and took both of his hands in mine, holding them steady, praying this would work.
"Tell me what's happening," I whispered after a few minutes.
"I d-don't want you to get h-hurt," he said in between sharp breaths.
I sat up to look at him.
"I'm okay! I'm okay see?" I tried to convince him.
His tears poured faster out of his eyes, his breathing, which had slowed considerably in the past minutes, becoming faster yet again.
"You might not have been."
"Draco, hey. Hey look everything is okay."
But he was loosing himself again. His whole body shook with sobs and I froze.
I suck at this.
Maybe there was a spell? I thought back to all the afternoons spent in charms classes but nothing came to mind.
Could there possibly be some type of potion? But I shook this thought out of my mind quickly, I wouldn't have enough time to make one, Draco was about to combust in front of me.
What do muggles do?
Then something hit me.
I took a deep breath and tried to remember my mother comforting my father one late evening.
This was how I started.
"What do you want to do about it?" I asked softly.
He stopped crying for a moment in surprise but instead of responding, his panic attack continued.
"Do you want to know our options?" I asked softly.
He nodded, unable to speak a word.
"We could stay here for the rest of break, do our own thing mostly. You could show me more of the gardens and grounds, we could only come inside when we get too cold and then go back out to explore. Or we could go back to Hogwarts and spend Christmas there, I'd give you my present and we could eat tons of sugar from Hogsmeade. I could show you more muggle snacks and games you might like. I could also go back and you could stay here if that's best."
He shook his head roughly, telling me he wouldn't leave me over the holidays. I smiled to myself but kept my face straight for the sake of his hurting.
"We could get a room in Hogsmeade, walk around the town every day and have snowball fights every night. We could go get warm butterbeer from The Three Broomsticks and buy random sweets we don't need. There's also the leaky cauldron, we could stay there and spend Christmas in Diagon Alley, window-shopping and spending every day together."
His breathing had slowed a little, his eyes closed, maybe he was imagining all of the scenarios.
"It's your choice, Darling," I told him, using his nickname for me.
There were a few moments of silence in which I thought he might've been dead. I leaned closer to his face, trying to see if he was asleep, dead or trying to choose between the options I'd given him.
Then suddenly:
"Hogsmeade," he whispered, opening his eyes and looking guilty.
I smiled and let out a strangled laugh of relief.
"Hogsmeade it is then."
I rested my head on his chest once again before remembering with a sudden jolt that Draco's wrist was bleeding from where he's pinched it.
I stood up, leaving him clouded in confusion, and walked to the bathroom to get a wet towel, returning moments later with it in my hand.
"Hand," I said suddenly.
He seemed to understood and held out his left wrist to me with a smirk on his face.
"There are spells for that you know," he taunted.
"I'm aware."
His eyes never left my face as I gently rubbed the blood off of his arm and dabbed at the wound he'd created.
Something inside me was angry at him for hurting himself. Something inside me wanted to yell at him and make sure he knew that hurting himself, even in such a small way like this one, was not ever going to be okay. But I remembered his face only minutes earlier and shoved these feelings deep inside, hoping they'd melt into stomach acid.
"What is it?" Draco asked, still using a voice that sounded teasing.
I shook my head, cursing myself. I must have made a face.
"You don't like blood?" he asked.
"It's fine," I said meekly, hoping he'd give it a rest.
"Oh my goodness! Is Evangeline Claire Grey afraid of blood?"
"I don't give two craps about blood. And I'm not squeamish," I bit roughly, suddenly loosing my cool for a second.
His face changed for a moment. Was that sadness? Surprise? Anger? I wasn't sure. But it returned to its condescending smirk I adored only moments later.
"Evangeline," he murmured softly, it gave me butterflies, the way he said my name.
"Draco Lucius Malfoy I swear to god if you don't shut your mouth right now I will hex you."
"What did I do?" he poked.
"You hurt yourself," I said finally.
"Only a bit. Only a pinch," he replied.
"Enough. Enough to make me have to wipe the blood off your arm."
He gazed at me curiously. I could only imagine what was going through his head.
Is she really mad at me right now?
Why does she care?
It's only a little bit of blood for heavens sake!
Does she care?"
Then he sighed, a drawn out exhalation that made me nervous he was going to retaliate by yelling at me.
He didn't.
"I'm sorry Darling," he smiled.
I smiled, satisfied.
Draco was strong, he could have a panic attack and be scolded a moment later without breaking down into nothingness. He was like me.
"Are you okay?" he asked, running his fingertips over my neck. This confused me, what had happened before all this?
Fenrir.
Lucius.
I remembered.
Bile filled my throat and I choked it back. The last thing we needed was another mental breakdown.
"I'm fine," I said, trying to make him believe it.
"You have a bruise on your neck," he informed me.
"It seems that I always do, doesn't it?" I asked, remembering the time when someone had attacked me in the corridor at Hogwarts.
His face changed. He looked pained, like he hated the memory, or like he remembered it too well.
Draco's POV:
I knew she could see me cringing away from the memory of that night. The one where I'd seen her attacker and done absolutely nothing. I hated myself for it, berated myself for it.
Here she was, a witch with so many passions. One who treated everyone as if they were equal, even the strange kids, even the ones who were supposed to be dangerous. This was something I'd almost never seen before because even Harry Potter looked down upon the Slytherins and kids who had... interesting, hobbies. Even I saw them as inferior. She didn't. Anyway there she was being a saint, and there I was, not even bothering to tell her that I knew who had tried to murder her.
I forced my brain to remember the better moments. Like when I'd gone looking for her and seen her and Luna, both with strange glasses on, in the corridor talking and pointing at the air.
I smiled, everything was alright back then.
I opened my eyes to see her face, her beautiful face, staring at me curiously.
There were things I couldn't describe about her, like the way that if I squinted, everything around her got lighter instead of darker like they should have. Or how her feet move soundlessly from stair to stair, even the creaky ones didn't make a noise.
They were things that had nothing to do with the way I felt about her. They were things that just happened, things that made me think there was every possibility that she was spelled, protected.
The worst part?
I think her attacker saw them too.
A/N
HAIIIII!!!! Ok so like I kinda hate this chapter but it had to be done because big stuff is happening soon! Also quick question... what's a good ship name for Evangeline and Draco? I can't choose one and I need help.
Also quick news flash this book is almost over! I know it seems like nothing has happened yet but trust me the next few chapters will make up for that! I'm really excited for it to end so I can move on to my next stories but also I really like Evangeline and any other writers will know how attached we get to our characters. I'll miss her.
ALSO I STARTED REIGN LIKE A WEEK AGO... TELL ME SOME OF YOU WATCH IT? I'M OBSESSED! MARY IS SO POWERFUL AND AGHHHH I JUST LOVE HER!
ALSO I GOT THAT COOL COPY OF HARRY POTTER THAT HAS ALL THE COOL ART AND POPUPS AND STUFF IN IT! I LOVE IT!
OHOHOHOH I got this plant the other day from green things and the lady was like "I like your outfit I'm giving this to you for free." IT'S A LITTLE SUCCULENT I LOVE HIM! WHAT SHOULD HIS NAME BE?
OK THIS AUTHORS NOTE WAS CHAOS BUT WHO CARES THIS IS WHERE MY BRAIN IS AT RIGHT NOW. AND WE WONDER WHY I TAKE SO LONG TO UPDATE MY STORY.
ANYWHOOSLES (THANK YOU FOR THIS TERM. ) I don't want to make my authors note super long so I'm cutting it off here but please vote and comment if you're enjoying the story! Also comment or just let me know if you see a typo or grammar mistake because I probably won't go back and read over these chapters again. I kinda hate reading my writing.
I LOVE YOU ALL VERY MUCH :) HAVE A NICE DAY OR I GUESS NIGHT FOR MY INSOMNIAC READERS!