"Oi, fook off!" I yell, throwing the bill at the poor pizza delivery guy. The kid looks terrified. Can't really blame him. I haven't showered in three days and my cheeks are sunken in. My eyes dull with dark bags underneath them and my hair a rat's nest on my head. I'm just wearing a pair of sweatpants, so all my tattoos are on display. My face is probably sporting a pretty angry look as well.
His brown eyes are wide open under his green cap. I probably shouldn't have snapped at him like that, but I'm hungry and he was asking me why I look half dead. Can't it just be the latest fashion trend? What's wrong with being dead? We all die in the end, right? The question is when.
I give him a once over in his yellow t-shirt with a green name tag. His name's Gregory. Gregory has dyed blue hair under his cap matching his blue jeans. "Listen mate. M'srry for snapping at you like that. I just don't like it when people get all up in my business" I explain calmly, watching some of his anxieties disappear.
"Oh. M'srry sir, thank you-"I cut off his mumbling before he can embarrass himself further, "Just take the money and go." Gregory looks back at me with confusing written all over his young features.
"G'night" I singsong as I shut the door in his face. I really hope he didn't recognise me. He probably didn't. One of the few perks of being the least famous out of us. Also not being a 6 feet giant comes in handy from time to time. No! Do not think of him. I am going to eat my avocado free pizza and think about what I can do for the fans. I won't let the thought of them ruin yet another night.
I take a deep breath before turning around and walking back into my living room. I put the pizza down on the glass coffee table. Already having a plate, I plopped down on the grey couch. I let myself enjoy the soft furniture for a second. This is the same couch I had when I lived with him 5 years ago.
This couch along with a box hidden away in the closet is the only l kept from that apartment. I threw the rest away and moved out. Just the thought of staying where I used to be my happiest without the one who made it a home was just unthinkable. Especially after the way he left.
With my eyes squeezed shut and bottom lip between my teeth, I try to calm myself down. I really can't afford another meltdown right now. When I have myself under control again, I reach for the remote. Once friends is playing I lean back on the couch with a plate full of peperoni pizza on my lap.
My apartment is pretty small. One bedroom and two bathrooms. A kitchen, living room and a study I turned into a music room. It's all I need. It's cosy. And I don't have room for anyone to stay over. All I want is to be back with them again, but when that won't happen, this is the next best thing.
I have Clifford, a place to write songs and make music, all I need to survive and a TV. I don't need a girlfriend or a boyfriend. I don't need friends. What I need is Harry, Niall and Liam. I need Zayn too, but I'd never admit any of it out loud. When I can't have them, I'm better of alone.
To take my mind of my regrets and pain, I pull out my phone to tweet something. I take a bite of my pizza. Not bad. It's a lot better than I expected. The flavour and smell filling my senses as I finish my bite. And for once I don't have to worry about Clifford eating the entire thing. I think it's Sunday Lottie was supposed to bring him back home.
Once I'm full I lay down on the couch and close my eyes. Hoping to for once get a good night's sleep without the nightmares.
-
A vibration and a pling next to my face wake me up from a deep sleep.
My eyes open slowly, seeing the TV is still on. "Why?" I whine. Not really feeling like moving a lot, I just lifted my hand to turn the screen on. I squint at the sudden brightness seeing a text from a contact name I haven't seen in a hot minute.
Neil: Hi Lou. Was wondering if you wanted to talk. It's been a minute.
A minute must me just as big of an understatement as 18 months. And the contact name. I used to tease him by calling him Neil instead of Niall. He'd call me Lewis, so we were even.
Deciding not to think this through, not giving me time to overthink what he might want to talk about, I type out a quick reply before nervously wait.
Me: Ello mate. It really has been. Missed you Nialler. What did you want to talk about?
I press send before practically throwing my phone away. It lands in the kitchen. Thank god for screen protectors and phone cases.
Slowly, I let myself sink back into the couch. Getting lost in my own head. I'm pulled out of it when my phone buzzes again. With shaky hands I go to get my phone and just settle on sitting down on the tile floor in the kitchen. My hands are starting to get clammy.
It's weird to be so nervous. It's only Niall. The Irishman I spent five years with. We spent every day together. But then the hiatus came. And when no one called or said anything after 18 months I just assumed they didn't want the reunion like I did. They were all thriving as solo artists. Zayn too. No surprise there. I haven't really spoken or hung out with them privately like we used to ever since the hiatus. The last time we were all together was the day before Zayn left in 2015.
Shoot me it would hurt less.
Just rip the bandage off. And with that I unlocked my phone again and read the text. And it was a long one.
Neil: Ok, so here's the thing. I miss you guys like crazy. I miss being One Direction. And I know we may have grown out of it. But hey! We could always rebrand. We could be Five Direction, Old Direction, One Direction 2.0. Hell! We could finally be Niall And The Potatoes. That would be AMAZAYN! See what I did there?😉 Anyways, I've been thinking about the whole 18 months thing. I sort of just assumed that you guys didn't want to reunite again since I never heard from any of you guys. So I'm you made the same assumption?
Well, unless I am TOTALLY delusional, I'd say that means we should do something now. You're the first one I'm talking to cause I had a feeling you'd be slightly easier to persuade than Haz and Li. So my plan is to sort of ambush them. I'll ask Harry to meet up. He can't refuse cause he owes me big time for the time I gave him all my food cause he hadn't gotten time to eat that day. You and Payno get along just fine still right? No fights about avocados? Good!
We'll agree on a time and place next week. We'll meet them and remind them of all the good memories we have. And I know that this reunion will happen because of the contract, better now than in another five years. Cause that's what will happen if we don't do something. We're acting like we don't know each other or are terrified of each other when we're not in the eye of the public. And that's just wrong. We're brothers. You and Harry would've been married if it weren't for that bloody contract. Ziam would also probably be a real thing. MY SHIPS WOULD SAIL!
Back to the plan. We've convinced them, right? The only thing left to do then is to reunite!
Wow. That is a lot. I take a minute to process everything he said.
Could he be right? He obviously wanted and still wants us to come back. But Liam and Harry. Did they also want to? Have we been on hiatus for 5 years instead of 18 months because we didn't talk like we promised each other? This is a lot for my tired, sleep deprived brain to process.
Niall seemed really enthusiastic and hopeful about it. He seemed like the Nialler I've always known and loved. Am I the only one who changed after we split? I really hope that's the case if changing means that they feel like I do.
I'm in. I am definitely in. I am worried about Harry. He just left after we were officially on hiatus. He packed a bag and left when I was out. I came home to note saying he was sorry. If anything, he should be scared of me. But we both know wouldn't hurt him even if I could.
Is Zayn gonna be there?
Zayn left because his mental health got so bad. And we didn't do enough to help him. We didn't fight management enough. We didn't protect him like we should have. We let them scold and punish him for his anxiety. Bullying him for his weight. I am so ashamed. We were his best mates. His brothers. We were supposed to protect be there. I failed him once. I won't let him go without trying again.
My arse now hurts from sitting so long on the cold, hard floor. I flop back down on the couch and text Niall back.
Me: I agree with everything you said. It's time we bring whatever we're called back. And I'll let you know, that long arse, weirdly wise text was read on a very hard floor. So, it's your fault my arse hurts. But back to the plan. I have wanted to get back together again ever since we split. So you're right about that. I'll call Payno. Have no idea what to lure him out with, but I'll think of something.
Harry is all you. After we've convinced them we need to discuss management. We can not go back to SYCO or Modest. I just got out of there. Another thing we need to do. Just you and me for now. I don't think Lirry is ready for it yet. At least not to pursue it themselves. But we need to get Zayn back.
I know he left the band. He might not even want to come back. Hell! He might hate us. We've all been awful to him ever since he left. Yes, he said some things that weren't okay, but we don't know if he had a choice in that. We know very well that the people in charge only care about making money.
I've forgiven him for leaving like that and not showing up for my X-factor performance. Have you forgiven him? Cause I will find out where he is and go talk him into coming back. I failed him once. I won't lose him again.
So what do you say? First we get Zayn, then Li and Haz, then we all become friends again.
Neil: When do we start?
I can picture him laughing that laugh of his with a shit eating grin on his face thinking about us all coming together again. We don't even know what we're gonna do as a band again. But what I know is that I am not giving up until I have my brothers back. At this point it doesn't matter if Harry and I are boyfriends again.
All that matters is getting them back.
A/N
Hey again!
TRIPLE UPDATE..
I'm really bored today and have literally nothing better to do.
I'm not going to hold my chapters hostage. I'll upload them when I've finished them. I am waaayyy to impatient to wait.
What do you think about the characters so far?
Do you think their plan to bring the band back together will work?
How do you think the boys will react to the ambush?
Also, if the characters seem really similar, I apologize for that. I am trying to learn how to make each character stand out. I'm also trying to practice dialogue.
If you have any tips or anything, PLSS comment or message me!!
Also, I LOVE I don't Mind by Zayn. I've heard it before, but not really listened to it. I love it when I listen through their music album for album. I always find something new to listen to.
Any who. I really hope you like this story so far.
And again, if you've made it this far...I LOVE YOU
My messages are open if you need someone to talk to or just to rant :)
- Emily xx
(Please vote and comment)