"I'm a pretty good what?"
You lifted yourself off of him, shifting your position so you weren't even touching him.
Shifting himself, he sat upright furrowing his brow.
"A pretty good actor. Why'd you move? I was pretty comfortable."
You scoffed.
"Yea so was I. Obviously a bit too comfortable." you muttered underneath your breath.
A bit taken aback by your sudden hostility he tried moving a little closer to you again, but you moved back.
"What's wrong? I literally just complimented you."
"So you're acting too?"
"Huh?"
He pulled his legs in, now sitting in a criss-cross applesauce position while he ran his hand through his hair.
"I mean yea, that's what this is right? A fake relationship."
You bit your lip, internally telling yourself not to have overreact to what he was saying.
"Yea, fake.." you murmured, turning away from him while standing up.
"where are you going? The movie was just about to get good-"
"I'm gonna get a sprite."
He knew you were lying though, you had a half full can of sprite on the coffee table. So he stood up and followed you.
You walked out of the house, grabbing your keys as you pulled on your coat. He followed behind you.
——
You'd been walking for a for around 15 minutes, aimlessly wandering. You didn't even know where you were going. You just needed some space. His words kept echoing in your head, and you internally scolded yourself.
There was a reason for your walls. There was a REASON you didn't mindlessly let anyone in. Yet you made an exception for him. Just because he seemed genuine, when in reality he was just a talented ass actor. In a month and a half, you let yourself develop feelings for someone who was just with you for publicity.
You were simply an idiot.
"GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER Y/N!" You yelled at yourself in the middle of the sidewalk. Causing Kenma to flinch.
"You're a grown ass woman, hell you're fucking 21!? You don't need to worry about a man." You yelled out loud, trying to boost your confidence.
"But I'm lonely and I want one."
You facepalmed yourself and soon reached the convenience store.
The one you and Kageyama would always go to after his practice. Scowling you walked in anyway.
Just to be met with another old friend.
"Long time no see Y/n."
Smiling, you replied.
"Hey Ukai."
"How's life been?"
You walked up and down the isles while talking to him.
"Well I thought it was going pretty well until tonight."
"Oh yea? What happened?"
"Just boy drama. Another guy who I thought cared about me somewhat."
Kenma stood outside listening to the conversation. His expression one of confusion.
"Who's the guy this time?"
You plucked a case of beer off a shelf and stalked to the counter dropping it in front of him.
"Kenma Kozume."
He rung up the case while raising his eyebrows.
"Thought you don't drink?"
"Old habits die hard." You pointed at the half empty case of cigarettes.
"Haven't stopped?"
"Nope."
"Want a beer?"
"Eh, sure why not. One wouldn't hurt."
He drank his beer and you drank three.
————
"And his hair is so soft too! I wonder if he'd let me braid it if I asked..."
It's been twenty minutes, Kenma simply leaned on the wall outside, listening to you drunkenly rant about him, good and bad qualities.
"AND THEN HE CALLED ME A GOOD ACTOR!!!! CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT? I'm so not letting him bang anymore."
"You guys have fucked before?"
You thought for a second before shaking your head.
"Nahhhhhhh, but don't friends fuck each other at some point? I'd let him do whatever he wants to me." You slurred before taking another gulp of beer.
"Well. Thanks Ukai buddy. I should be heading home now. The dickwad is probably waiting for his co-star to come back so he can play with her head again." You put the empty beer bottles in the recycling, one of them his, five of them yours, before saluting him and walking out.
You were so out of it you completely passed Kenma, not even acknowledging his existence. He just stood there blushing from all he'd heard, this one a genuine blush.
At that same time, you bumped into a muscular middle age man, towering over you at around 6'5.
"Ayeeee, watch it big guy." You grumbled rubbing your head.
He looked down on you raising an eyebrow.
"Well sorry little lady. You out here alone? You should go back inside, call someone to pick you up, you're obviously dead drunk."
Ignoring his suggestions you scanned his body, he had a fairly attractive face, looked more like 28 then 35, and his build was nice. What surprised you the most was the bulge in his pants.
"...you wanna fuck?" You mumbled, staring at his area.
"I-"
"Y/n! Babe!"
Kenma jogged over to the two of you, finally snapping out of his trance.
"Babe-"
"Ewwwww, it's youuu. Don't call me babe, looking like a bumble bee headass." You grumbled swatting away his hand.
The guy stepped in between you two, raising an eyebrow at Kenma.
"You sure shes your 'babe'? Imma need some proof before I let her go with you."
Pulling out his phone he showed the guy his home screen, the picture of you kicking your mailbox.
"Stalker?"
Kenma sighed, opening his snap going to memories. Showing the guy his phone again he slowly scrolled, allowing the guy to see the selfies of drawing on your face while you slept, baking, streaming together, you stuffing your mouth with pie, even one of you licking some whipped cream off his cheek.
The guy broke his character, smiling at the pictures.
"We just had a small fight, I'll take her home now."
You went with him, but not without a fight. He ended up having to call a cab.
——
"LET ME GOOOOOO!" You whined slapping at Kenmas hand on your waist.
"Y/n-"
"NO! Release me at once you bastard! Because obviously there was some sort of misunderstanding on my end!" You let out some sort of cross between a whimper and a whine.
He had called Hana and Hinata, telling them it was probably best for them to go home, since it would be tiresome to take care of a hungover person and a drunk person at once.
"What are you on about-"
You stopped trying to resist him bringing you to your room and slumped against him, resting your head on his shoulder.
"I thought you liked me." You mumbled, suddenly emotional.
"Y/n-"
"You know I was engaged to Kageyama? You know, the Karasuno setter?"
He stayed silent but you continued to ramble.
"I liked him a lot ya know, started dating him in our third year. He was a 2nd year, but he treated me well. We would go on a lot of dates, each one of them perfect. He doesn't really seem like a romantic guy, but he's really thoughtful, proposed to me with this really pretty expensive ring after a perfect day together."
You put your hand out in front of you, examining your bare ring finger.
"If I do manage to seduce you into liking me, I don't want much, as long as you love me you can buy whatever ring, but your rich, so don't try and slack off and buy me anything under 5000." You murmured, snuggling a little closer to him.
He didn't stop your rambling, he liked hearing you talk. It put him at ease.
❗️⚠️TW⚠️❗️ABUSE,SELF HARM
"But that Mei bitch went and told him I was cheating on him, even photoshopped some really convincing photos. He wouldn't listen to my side, cut off the engagement and left me alone. Even stopped Hinata from talking to me as much. Worst part is I had no one to go to when my parents fought."
He raised an eyebrow at the last sentence, he'd never heard this before.
"You know why I moved here? My mom was abusive. Hit my dad, and him being the angel he was he never hit back. Eventually he left, I talk to him now and again though. Started a new family, the new girl is cool. But mom started dating ANOTHER guy, and they were abusive towards each other. When she was gone, he was abusive towards me."
He stiffened up a bit.
"And you know, there's always that special person who takes your mind off of those things. He stopped me from hurting myself. When he left I had no one to really talk to, Hana was obsessed with Kuroo so we didn't talk as much. I love her dearly but she would talk about herself. So I just kept my trauma a secret. So I started again."
Pulling up your sleeve you revealed an arm full of self harm scars, not normal ones, ones in the designs of flowers, birds. It was like a tapestry of suffering on your arm.
Then he realized. You always wore long sleeved shirts, never took off hoodies in front of him, even if you were sweating. Now your drunken self was spilling all your well kept secrets to him.
"isn't it pretty..." you hummed, tracing a flower.
"I always knew they would leave scars, but I wanted my scars to be a reminder of how far I've come when I look back on them. I didn't like looking at the uglier ones." you whispered. You started swinging your legs on the side of the bed, like a child who's feet couldn't reach the floor under the dinning table.
"I don't know why I'm telling you all this. Maybe if you pity me you'll stop acting right?"
He sat there, on your bed, you sleeping on, just processing everything he'd just learned.
"Can I braid your hair?" you hummed, shaking his arm gently to get his attention.
"Oh-, sure" he pulled his hair out of the scrunchies it was in and put them on his wrist. You moved farther onto the bed, so you were behind him, and you kneeled into the sheets running your hand through his hair.
"Soft..." you murmured, before getting to work, braiding his hair into two french braids.
"there we go." you leaned into him, resting your forehead between his shoulder blades, letting the urge to sleep consume you.
When he came around, you were passed out, so he shifted you so you were laying on the bed. Your clothes reeked of beer, and he was hesitant to try and change you. Instead, he just peeled off your shirt and replaced it with the hoodie he was wearing, so at least you didn't completely smell.
Sitting on the edge of your bed he just gazed at you. Still surprised about everything he'd learned in the past two hours. Standing up, he pulled the sheets over you, before lying down on the couch in the corner of your room, going to sleep.
!disclaimer!
before anyone says some typa shit about me romanticizing self harm half of y/ns trauma is based on MY trauma so stfu and enjoy