'moving on is good, but however revenge is sweet i'm not gonna play nice, bitches'
- Ædri
Avani's pov.
"Alpha, our ally Alpha Christian is here to report of the latest rogues attack on Rivermoon pack" my gamma David report, yes he is my new gamma as jaden is promote to being my beta.
Sighing i rub my forehead it's a real tiredsome being alpha especially with Jaden leaving the pack for a mission,don't take it that way its true that i still like him, but what i meant here is that as my beta he helps me with almost half of the paperworks but now , all is left to myself.
"Dave, how's Joyce and our little peanut ?" i ask as i kiss his cheek, joyce is his wife also one of my friend in my pack, they met one year ago when our pack and Rivermoon were to sign a treaty. "She's fine and our baby is healthy as ever", i smile sadly "i'm sorry that i didn't even come meet you guys even once" he smiles, "its not your fault, and we know that you really want to come,so we never blame you not even once", we chat a little more before we went down to business.
If your wondering, four years has passed, we made alliance with some trustworthy packs and raise an attacks on the cruel packs, the world didn't yet know us so as our enemies , they named us 'the dawn canines' its cool though, rogues knew better than to stand in our way because they know that once we mark our target, we eventually get it, but the stupid ones just didn't know where to stop that i have to killed two rogues in most unfavourable ways and since than, they didn't even dare to come near me or my allies. During those past four years i learned to control my emotion switch as well as my powers, there were times that i'll tired out myself so much that i wouldn't wake up for days. Every time i failed, the scar on anna's neck came to my mind and tortured me with different possible ways. And even more you know, two weeks ago i healed anna's scar by transfering my own body healing cells, her neck is still bandaged so i can't see the result yet.
I always made sure that, everyone in my pack gets equal treatment and got the best training on each of their levels.
From this instance its very clear that we're mo match for the others, but we never let the confidence come in between our training.
The evening came to an end after long hours of working, but i still had to do my daily routine.
"Alpha, i know that you've not sleep at all for two days in a row and now you're finally getting some free hours, so why don't you just sleep and not go there" David suggests, i'm tired i agree but that doesn't mean that i shouldn't visit it, "David,thanks for your concern but i have to , no i must visit it daily, no matter what" i tell him, he nod his head afterall he knows that i'm too stubborn for his own good.
After i came back from my visit I drag myself to my room, take a quick shower and drift off to sleep knowing my alarm would soon start blasting around.
***~~~***
i wake up and went downstairs, unlike any other day the pack house is so quite a very sweet smell reach my nose that automatically pull my body to it source.
The smell is soo addicting, its familiar but i can't remember where? when have i smell this before?
I came to faced with the smell source, a man is standing a few feat away from me his back facing me, but anyone could tell that the sweet smell is reeking out from him. I want him to turn around, i have never craved this much to see the face of the man who i never met before, i took a few step but stopped my heart start hammering with the unknown emotion, the feeling of unwanted rush through my whole body .. The man is indeed my one and only mate, Andrew Govins, i took a step back as he came towards me all my confidence i have built in those years turned nothing, i hated how weak i am i want to be strong i want to show him that i'm not just some pathetic weak half human ,
but the truth is i'm scared to hear his painful voice , these past years i am accepted by the people surrounding me and so i forgot the feeling of rejection that i used to live in my past, i'm scared to be the rejected again, i cried hard, very hard like a pathetic bitch.
***~~~***
I sat up, with sweat covering my whole body. Its a dream, just a dream i calm myself down qiv tried comforting but it didn't help at all, i'm slowly losing my sanity, i don't want to be alone i don't want my past to come back
i want this current life, i hate him i hate him with all my might.
I want dem or Jaden, to hold me they're the only ones i know who adores me the most i'm safe with them. My body ache, i want to destroy something to vender out my anger , i attack the huge tree just as i enter the thick forest pretending it as my ex-mate i pounce on it tearing out its bark, my nails grew larger and my fangs grew sharper by every passing minute , i didn't felt satisfied even after the tree fell down because i want more i want to get hurt as i kill them. I felt arms holding me down, i'm pissed but i fight my own sanity from hurting any one of them , even at my last breath i want to protect my pack, my people just as i had promised . Lena help me clean my sweat off, i just melted down when she would look at me pitifully with her loving eyes, just like mama darcy used to look me i sat up and hug her tightly she return my hug in an instance, "lena, i see him.. he's going to drag me back to my past. I don't want to go, i hate that feeling of being all alone.I don't want to lose you guys" i cried, she rubs my back and leave her kisses on my head several times "so, you'll let him do it?" she ask, i quickly pull myself away and look at her "no, ofcourse not" i said, "then, why did he manage to let you cry when he didn't even use his fingertips? If you let him manage to hurt you, then that means you allow him to do you in anyhow he wants." i shake my head frantically, no i don't want him to step over me "Then show him who you really are, that you're not under him.Show him that you are strong and loved by many, that you don't need him to be happy" i hug her again, the people i barely met for some years could love and support me this much while my own pack fellows turn their backs on me at my poorest condition.
I directly went to my office, although i still got time to sleep for two hours, anyway i don't think i'll be able to sleep anyway.
'ann, remember that even if everyone turn their backs on you, i will never that's a promise ' qiv said out of nowhere, i smile hearing her sweet promise , i want to tease her 'are you sure qiv?' , 'of course i'm sure ann i will always take your side' she quickly replies, 'even if i don't talk to a hot guy you have your eyes on?' , 'Avani Hella Silvermoon!! you mean bitch, i was trying to comfort you' she yell, i laugh so hard that i almost fell off my chair while she glares dagger at me.
We chat some more about somethings before my ringtone interupts us, a smile spread on my face just as i see the callers name on the screen,
"hello, ava" his manly voice runs shiver down my spine
"hi jaden, how are you doing?" i heard him chuckle
"aren't you going to ask when we'll be back? i guess you don't miss me like i do" he teases
"of course i miss you .. i mean.. i miss all of you, everyone missed you guys" i quickly correct myself
"i heard about you from lena, wanna talk about it?" i can feel the tension in our conversation start changing , "its nothing, really.." truth i wanna talk about it but i don't want to sound like a pathetic crybaby to him or anyone , its fucking 2 a.m for heaven sake
"what if i insist to hear about it?" he ask, "no jaden, its just some shitty nightmare its not like he could come and drag me away or so.." i start blabering but jaden cuts me off, "him? did you mean that fucker ?" i sigh and answered yes, "now tell me all about it" he orders so i tell him in full details about my nightmare,
... "ava, don't ever tried thinking that yourself unwanted , because we all love you don't let your past or that asshole ruins your bright future, they're not worthy of your happiness, we'll always want you, i will always want you"
i feel my face reddened like a ripe tomato at his last sentence, i can feel qiv doing her happy dance inside my head. After we bid goodbyes i went back to my work with qiv teasing me now and then, man its not easy at all.
Work is a lot these days as we just raise attacks four times this month, of course not there's lot of works but not just as many as this few weeks, i barely have time to myself like i do the other times, i heard from Miss Jocelyn, a head teacher at the kindergarden that the kids have been complaining non stop that jaden and i aren't visiting to play with them anymore, they're such cuties i really miss them and i'm sure that jaden would miss them even more than i do afterall he's always spending his free time with the kids.
I suddenly think about my nightmare, and one thing i realize is that i have been such ungrateful daughter and alpha, i'm so comfortable with my current life that i completely forgot about the promise i made, to avenge my father and my people i'm so selfish that i forgot about all the suffering my people had went through because of their loyalty, back then although i always see hope in their eyes i'm so weak that i can't do anything about it, but now i'm strong yet i still don't do anything for them, i will surely avenge for their bloods Danielson fucking Govins i will never spare you or any of your accomplices you've been living free for too long now its time you pay for the consequences.
Well,well,well now let's start planning on my first step of revenge. Here i come bitches however i might not be the same little girl you bully like you wish ..
love ya'll
Adriana
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