Epilogue
⋆.:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆
Applejack
I opened my eyes to hear a soft alarm, the sound of gentle music filling the room. I felt too dazed and drowsy to really comprehend what was going around me. Sleep hadn't shedded from my mind yet.
There was a mumble next to me, and the alarm suddenly stopped. Then the realization kicked in. This wasn't my room.
With panic, I quickly sat up on the bed I was lying on, swiftly looking around to see my surroundings. Calm washed over me as soon as it was all recognizable. This was Rarity's room.
The room was being dimly lit up by purple LED lights, giving a soft violet glow to everything. Across the bed was a desk messily buried with a whole stack of papers. There was a dresser only a foot from me, a small window right beside it. More papers had been laid out all over the ground - it was too dark to see what any of them said. Finally, my eyes stopped once I saw the sleeping figure by me.
Rarity.
Just from her simply being there, everything from the day before caught up to me. I still couldn't believe any of this was real.
After the park, she and I walked to her house and we spent the rest of the day there. She didn't want me to leave her side, so without any hesitation, I didn't. Her parents didn't end up coming home, apparently, there was a 'family emergency' they had to attend to. So I met her younger sister Sweetie Belle, who had a remarkable resemblance to Apple Bloom. This followed with Rarity and I falling asleep next to each other, watching one of her favorite movies on her laptop. And now I was here. Breathing.
I lifted my hands in amazement staring at them. I spent a minute just staring at my fingers, embracing the fact that I was still able to do these simple movements. That my heart was still able to beat in my chest, that I could still get up and walk.
I'm alive.
I actually made it. I survived.
Out of excitement I lifted the blankets and stood up, feeling a bit dizzy from how fast I did this. I didn't care though, more than anything, I wanted to start the completely new day. This would be the first time in a long time I'd have the opportunity to do so.
Looking back at the bed, I decided to let Rarity doze off a bit longer, she was sure to wake up soon. She looked peaceful buried in blankets, the only thing I could see was a few strands of her hair on the pillow.
I made my way out of her room, carefully closing the door behind me and walking down the hallway to the bathroom. Not bothering to turn on the light, I shut the door and stared at myself in the mirror. My hair was a complete mess, my green eyes darkened by eye bags. I was still wearing the same clothes from yesterday there were weird creases in the fabric from sleeping. The only light came from the sun outside which was only beginning to rise.
I turned on the sink, splashing water onto my face. The freshening feeling of the cold water touching my skin immediately woke me up. My brain seemed to work so much better when my mind was clear, it was as if I was cleansing myself from all my dreamy thoughts. When I turned off the faucet, I looked up to see myself.
My face was soaked, the drops came together dripping from my chin and onto my shirt. I took a deep breath, my lungs filling with all the different scents that had been exposed to this bathroom. And when I exhaled, I smiled.
And staring at myself in the mirror, I couldn't tell if the smile was genuine or not.
Sure, I made it out of the deaths. I no longer had to deal with the stress of watching the universe rip itself apart right in front of me.
But the person I had cared so much for was gone. We'd always meet up at the same park, making plans on how we'd get out of there. I expected it to be the greatest feeling when I got back.
And now that it was all over, I didn't know what to feel. I was happy, yet in so much pain.
Before I could think more, the sound of rain from outside caught my attention. I widened my eyes, realizing I hadn't seen rain for a long time. I took a few steps to the window, slightly opening the blinds so I could see.
Rarity's driveway was decorated with rain, a small stream of water ran down the side of the street. I watched as a man walked down the sidewalk with a dog, he had a bright purple umbrella and was trying to stay as dry as possible. The little puppy dove right into the puddles formed by the heavy rain. And seeing the happiness from the dog, made me finally genuinely smile.
I could hear the rooftop serenaded by the rain's touch, the drumming on the windows. It had been so long since I had heard these sounds, seen the rain falling from the sky so heavily.
The loops had completely torn apart my life, leaving me with barely any energy to even sob. And then they took the only one person who understood what I was going through. The first person who I had ever opened up to.
The first person who I loved.
It was all painfully unfair.
But for now, to be able to live in this new moment, watching the rain fall from the sky,
this was enough.
Rarity
I woke up to the sharp smell of bleach, which immediately made me want to go back to the blissful unconscious state I was previously in. The world was completely silent apart from this loud beeping sound and my breathing. My eyes were open, and I was trying to make out the objects in front of me.
I didn't know what I was looking at, all I knew was that there was a loud beeping noise and everything was the same color. Every time I attempted to focus on the objects, it seemed to get blurrier.
It took a few seconds before I recognized what I was staring at. My heart did a small drop as soon as I realized. A hospital.
I was still alive.
It was all painfully white - the white ceiling, white curtains, white blankets, white bed, all of it stained my mind. I used to love the color white, or the 'absence of color' some might've called it. It was such a simple, yet dignified color.
White, to me at least, represented simplicity yet boldness. I used to wear the color all the time, it made me feel more like myself.
White was fresh, white was calm.
And then the loops happened. Every time I died, I was met by the color white surrounding me as if it was taking me hostage. White was the color of the dress I killed myself in. White was the color of death.
White is cold, white is empty.
I looked at my arms that were wrapped in bandages, the tubes that were going throughout my body. The last thing I remembered was stopping her and the car running into me. Then harsh pain like I have never felt before shot through my body. And everything went numb.
Applejack.
I needed to know if she was alive. I desperately needed to see her face again, just one look was enough reassurement that what I did was worth it. She would visit me in the hospital, right?
What time was it? What hospital was I in? Who brought me here?
Before I could find out any of those answers, darkness filled my vision. And within seconds, I was back to my empty, innocent world.
✧
"I've been looking for you everywhere," she tells me. She's nervous, her hands are trembling, her breaths are shaky. She's worried about what could happen. I don't recognize her, with all the days I've repeated, I have never seen her face.
Naturally, I'm scared. After repeating the same day, again and again, I would have never expected someone new to show up.
Without saying anything, she sits next to me on the bus, making me scoot over to the window. I'm stuck in a trance, so I comply. "L-Listen, I don't know when I'm going to die next, so let's make this quick."
I stop, letting what she just said sink in. "You've been dying too...?" I barely manage to ask.
She pauses, blinking a few times. "Yeah- you might be my only way out." She and I sit in a moment of silence, and even though I've barely said anything to her, I know our minds are both racing with thoughts.
I don't know how to feel about this. I don't know if I'm excited or angry.
She could be the reason I'm in this mess.
"I'm Applejack by the way," she says. I lift my gaze onto her, my heart races in my chest.
"Rarity."
Before we can say anything more, there's a scream from the other corner of the bus. Out of fear she grabs onto my hand, I'm paralyzed in my seat unable to react. Whatever feelings I had before of her don't matter right now.
Because it's happening again.
The screams of terror around me, the anxious wait for death to take me away. I shut my eyes closed, squeezing her hand. Usually, the deaths are painless, but I can't help but feel scared. The bus tilts right, my stomach does a jump.
One moment, the road is completely fine and clear. It's filled with bright hues from several cars, tunes blasting from different vehicles.
One second later and everyone's world is different. The worry of the end for everyone doesn't seem so far. The bright colors from the cars are dulled, the music that was once playing is now deafened by screaming.
It only took one wrong move.
I opened my eyes, the color of blurry white was all I saw again. I blinked a few times, waiting for my eyes to adjust to the world around me.
"You're awake!" an excited voice exclaimed next to me. I looked over to them, a smile formed on my face once I saw her face.
"You're alive..." I was barely able to say. There she sat, her long blonde hair tied in a loose ponytail. On her, she had a flannel that looked as if it were drenched in tears. Her eyes were red, her face was dull. She looked dreadful - but she made it seem like nothing with the smile she wore.
It was a genuine smile, it felt like years since I've last seen it. It made me feel like I was going to be alright.
"I should be the one who's happy you're alive," Applejack whispered, her voice cracking. She lifted her hand as if to wipe tears from her eyes. "You saved me. And instead of me in that hospital bed, it's you. A- And I don't even know you."
I felt a part of me sink. That's right... she didn't know me. I knew Applejack better than I knew myself, and here - why, she barely knew my name.
There was a moment of silence of her just looking at me. Her fragile eyes seemed to glow - as if with one blink a new set of tears would be running down her face. "What happened?" I finally asked.
She was quiet for half a minute, thinking. "I-I'm still not sure myself, and I was there..." There was more silence before she spoke again. "I was racing with someone, and then you came out of nowhere. You pushed me out of the way, and the car hit you i-instead."
She put her head down, grabbing hold of my hand. "I watched your body get hit. I thought you were dead, Rarity... The doctors thought you were dead." It felt as if someone had dropped a rock onto me as soon as she said this. I blinked, tears threatening to roll down my face.
The thought of someone's body getting hit by a car suddenly filled my thoughts. She had to watch me, a stranger who saved her, almost die.
Why was I alive then? If such a thing were to happen during the loops, I'd be a goner. What were the chances that I was to survive a car hitting me?
"How? You had to of known somehow I was going to get hit," she suddenly said. "And even though I yelled at you that morning... you still saved me."
It was after this sentence she broke. Tears raced down her cheeks, her blonde hair covered her face.
"Thank you for staying alive," I whispered. If I had strength, I would have sat up and hugged her. I wanted to feel her arms wrapped around me once more, her scent was always comforting.
Instead, all I could do was watch her silently cry beside me. Seeing her so weak wasn't something I was used to. Applejack normally hid her emotions. When she discovered that her mother killed herself, she pushed her feelings down. She tried to distract herself with anything, she took me into the city to see the mall. While she told me everything was alright, her eyes spoke the truth.
I let these memories run through my mind as we sat in silence. My eyes remained on her until they curiously trailed over to the large window on the other side of the room. And when I saw the drops of rain falling from the sky, it felt as if all my worries were erased.
I couldn't recall the last time I saw it rain. When you were forced to repeat the same day over and over again, you forget all the little things about life. You get used to the same sun shining in the same places, the clouds staying in their same little formations.
As I stared out the window, watching the rain pour, my eyes caught this mountain that was located in Canterlot. Dark clouds overcast it, and for some weird reason, I couldn't take my eyes off it. It was as if I was pulled towards the piece of land.
I looked back over to the blonde girl who sat next to me. She had stopped crying a while ago, she was staring at the wall numbly. Her mind must have been filled with several thoughts, but even with that, my hand remained in hers.
Before the loops had occurred, I would've dismissed this thought right away. But the thought of staying the same place I was held captive made me feel nauseous.
"Take me to the mountains," I suddenly said. She stopped and looked at me with a confused expression.
"When I get better - I mean," I quickly added. Still, she sat there hazy.
It took her half a minute until she settled for a gentle nod. "Yeah, yeah, I'll take you there. I promise."
I gave her a soft smile in response. Before I could add anything, the doors of the hospital room opened. A doctor walked in and right as she saw me, her jaw dropped. "It's a miracle," she whispered.
Applejack saw what was happening and let go of my hand to get out of the way. She stood up, stepping out to stand next to the window. The doctor started to talk to me. I knew words were coming out of her mouth, but I seemed to only be able to focus on Applejack.
The door swung open once more, and this pink cotton-candy-haired girl ran and wrapped her arms around Applejack. She chuckled, yet the laughter seemed choked up because of the hug she was being delivered. Another doctor walked in to yell at Pinkie, but all I could do was smile.
Because across the room, the one I loved was happy. She was the small hint of color in this gray world.
We were both finally safe.
Every time I blinked, I was reminded of what we previously were. When she guided me through the streets of Canterlot in pure excitement, the times when we'd meet at the park. She was the only person who stayed with me for it all.
And I knew deep down I knew I'd never get to see that exact version of her anymore. I knew that all the conversations and feelings I once had were now irrelevant in this reality.
But that didn't stop me from loving Applejack. Even if I wasn't in the picture, I needed her to be happy and safe.
She saved me.
Applejack
I turned the doorknob of the front door, slowly opening it. The smell of the fresh autumn air filled my lungs as I took a step onto the front porch. I closed the door behind me, taking in the view that was presented.
Water droplets fell from the roof of the home, creating little splashes at the end of the porch. The morning dew had complimented the area well as if the small trees were finally shining with life. It was also as if they also hadn't seen rain for so long - they took what dark gray clouds that were above us excitedly. The air was humid, the scent of petrichor was strong.
Rainfall made it feel like a new beginning. As if all my previous feelings were washed away.
A sharp feeling of cold shot through me as my feet touched the chilly, but dry, wood. I hadn't bothered putting on any shoes. Slowly I walked towards the driveway, which wasn't protected from the water like the porch was.
Before I knew it, I was standing there, rain soaking the clothes I was wearing. The only sound to be heard was the pouring sound of the water. I shivered, my hoodie and leggings were suddenly so heavy and numbing against me.
Yet, for some reason, I was paralyzed in place. I stared up at the sky, at the endless miles of dark clouds covering me. Until I saw something familiar.
Before I could really focus on the landmark, I heard the front door shut behind me. I turned around, immediately recognizing the person standing there.
"What are you doing out here?" her posh accent asked. Her voice didn't seem to hold any emotion, it was simply put as a question. Her purple hair was tied in a low messy bun, she had on a long sweater with pajama shorts. Even though she looked barely awake, I still couldn't get over how beautiful she looked.
Worry suddenly struck Rarity, her sleepy mood disappearing. She ran out to me with bare feet against the rough cement which made her cringe, but she didn't stop until she reached me. "Are you- are you leaving me?"
"No!" I responded almost right away. She was surprised by the volume of my voice so I took a deep breath and continued. "Sugar cube, of course not. It's just... I haven't seen rain in a while."
"It only rained about a day back," she responded lightly.
"That feels like forever ago," I mumbled.
"How long do you plan to be outside then? I don't want to mess up my pedicure," she asked. I felt a part of me chuckle at the pedicure bit. Things have been so serious, it felt good to get a small laugh out. Even if a pedicure really did mean a lot to Rarity.
"I don't know," I replied honestly. "I just need some time to think. And the rain just reminds me of... things. You can go back inside, I'm not going anywhere. I promise."
And at that moment, I expected her to nod and walk back inside. Maybe get some food or wrap herself in blankets and fall back asleep.
But to my surprise, she didn't move. She instead looked at what I previously had my eyes on when she caught me outside. And then I felt her grab a hold of my hand.
With no words exchanged between us, we looked up at the sky. The landmark I was gazing at before met my eyes, and once I saw it, I couldn't look away.
In Canterlot, there was this high mountain that my friends had once hiked to a long while back. I remembered Dash and I racing to it, and how it took us several hours to get to it. And once we made it to the end of the trail, we saw the breathtaking peak up close. The mist from the falls that washed over us, the wildlife that surrounded us.
How in the distance, we could see the big city. I could stand there and watch the small buildings for hours. Time was completely still where we were, the serenity that would overcome us, the songs the birds would sing. It felt like heaven.
Rarity rested her head on my shoulder as I stared out at the mountain. "Thank you for saving me," she told me.
She felt so warm against me, I could tell she was uncomfortable standing out here. Her arms hugged herself, I could hear her teeth chattering. She was really cold, yet she for some reason sacrificed that all for me.
"And thank you for saving me," I responded.
I glanced over to her, to see that she had a small smile on. I wrapped my arm around her. Even though we were both shivering, I could feel the warmth of my heart consume me.
Together, we smiled, as the rain poured over us.
"and so there we stood, our hearts beating as one, several worlds apart."
- looped.
— World Count : 3729
— Finished : July 3, 2021
[ happy 3 year anniversary to this account by the by (: ]
[ 51,265 total words ]