His dark-ice eyes met mine from across the room as he studied me carefully. His right leg was crossed over his left and on top of the table. The first two buttons of his school shirt were unbuttoned and the tie wrapped around his long neck, loose. With a movement of his hand, he dragged the tips of his hair away from his face.
He was startlingly handsome.
"Mixed up the rooms?" he asked cockily as he shut the book and placed it on his lap.
What does that even mean?
I took a step closer and looked over the nightstand--it was still open. I wonder if he realised I took a slight peek at the letters.
Probably not though, he would've hexed me by now or something.
"What?" I questioned him, as I tuck a strand of hair, that was bothering me, behind my ear.
He sighed "Thought you were looking for his room" there was a husk in his tone.
His? Why can't he be just straight forward for once. Why does he always have to talk and formulate phrases with holes in them.
Either way, I'm not going to make this a big deal and focus on why I came here.
It's not about me, it's about him. It's always about him. Everything I do is tied to him.
It's as if he's my son and I have to put up with his shit. When I think about it now I honestly really don't have to and even though hypothetically speaking he was my son, I still wouldn't have to put up with him.
Does Narcissa put up with him?
Every time I think about the way he treats me and all the shitty things we've been through, I remember some of the good times we've had together and those moments are what I live for.
"Who's room?" I sighed as I sat at the edge of his bed.
"The twin" his dark, long eyelashes stood out in stark contrast against the chiseled bone structure of his pale complexion.
Of course he meant Claudio.
"Why would I go to Claudio's room Draco?" I asked impatiently to finish the conversation, so
I can start what I came here for.
He licked his lips as he leaned further back on the couch "Oh I don't know.. For him to show you the many things he can do with a knife" he looked uncomfortable finishing the second half of his sentence.
Really?
"No," I shook my head.
Is that really what he thinks of me? That I'm just this object that throws herself to any guy that offers me sexual relief...
"Well, didn't hear you say that to him when he asked you" he said matter of factly.
I scoffed "Didn't really have the chance to after your immediate reaction.."
"My reaction? I didn't even touch him.." he stiffened in his seat.
Well.. as he should..
"You shouldn't even need to have a reason to touch him in the first place.." I crossed my arms and gave him an incredulous look.
He sat up straight and leaned forward, placing his weight on his elbows "You don't get it do you?"
How does he expect me to get anything, when he doesn't explain shit to me?
"Do you even talk to me for me to get you? I'm sick of trying to analyze and understand the reasons for your behaviors, I'm not a psychiatrist for fucks sake" I snapped as I sat up straight.
"Then stop analyzing me!" he loosened his tie even more and scratched his forearm.
That exact spot.
The mark.
The words he's a death eater, he's a death eater, he's a death eater ricocheted back and forth around my skull.
"Do you even hear what you're saying? How do you expect me to get you when you don't tell me anything. You just close yourself off from the world and don't give anyone access to enter the little cave you've created around you!" Our voices were getting louder each second that passed.
"What do you want me to do?!" he exclaimed.
"To talk to me!" I exclaimed as I took one step closer from where he was seated.
"What do you expect me to do?! Act as if nothing happened and everything was normal just like fourth year? Act as if THIS didn't happen!!" he bared his forearm and shoved it in my face.
The mark.
I kept looking into his eyes. I didn't flicker over to the mark.. Not even once.
"Nothing you say makes sense right now! You first insinuated that I don't get you. Then you say that you don't want me to understand you and now you're just masking all your behavior behind your mark!" I snapped back "Even if you're going through something really difficult right now, and I am by your side by all means, I won't let you excuse your mistakes on it!"
I was fed up with him and all the feelings that I bottled up since the first day I came back to Hogwarts stumbled out of my mouth messily.
"Get out" his whole demeanor was closed off. I had never heard him sound so cold and distant when talking to me..
I breathed in and out slowly. As slow as I can manage. So this is how it's going to be then.
How many times has this happened again?
I took one last look at all of him and left in disappointment.
I didn't want to go back to my room. I needed some fresh air, so I started walking without having a destination in mind. But, I quickly realised that my feet were dragging me towards a very familiar place.
The walls surrounded by this place have seen me in my worst state. It was my comfort place now.
The one and only Astronomy Tower.
Merlin bless who designed this place.
As I entered the tower, I saw someone at the edge holding onto the railing. I couldn't tell who it was from their back.
As I got closer, a scent reached up my nostrils. A very familiar one.
The person turned around and it was Theo, with a joint in between his fingers.
"Ahh let me guess boy trouble" I saw a grin edging it's way onto his lips.
"What makes you say so?" I asked as I stood next to him and took in the dashing view.
He placed the tip of the joint in between his lips and took a hit "I can tell by the look on your face" he turned to face me "Because I have to same look on mine"
My eyes flickered "Are you?"
"Gay" he finished for me "Yes.." he offered me the joint and I took it from him.
"Wow" I smiled as I observed the view. "I'm surprised.. I didn't know"
He sighed "Trust me I am too"
I took a hit and immediately coughed.
"Beginner?" he asked as our eyes met.
"Nah. Just haven't smoked in a bit" I answered and he gave a short nod "So.. Who's the lucky boy?" I elbowed him gently to tease him.
He rolled his eyes jokingly and I saw his cheeks flush.
"Now that's confidential information that I can't release to the public" he took the joint from my grip and took another hit.
"The public?!" I asked, offended "So I'm the public now?"
"Well.. In this situation I'm afraid you are" he exhaled the smoke right to my face.
"Oh come on. Tell me.. If there is one thing you should know about me is that I will forever bother you until you tell me who it is" I said matter of factly as I snatched the joint back from him.
"And this is supposed to scare me?" he scoffed.
"Well it should" I took an additional hit and didn't cough this time.
"Yeah well I'm sorry to disappoint you but I'm not frightened" he said as he zoned out whilst looking at the railing.
"Ok let me guess then" I offered.
He chuckled "Well good luck to you then, because I guarantee you there is no way in hell you're gonna be able to" he said with confidence.
"I love challenges" I smirked at him as I passed him the joint.
"Not this one"
After thinking for a bit "Is it.. Blaise?" I asked. Honestly if it were Blaise I would really ship them. I love their friendship so much and they would be a really cute couple together.
"Oh god no. He's been like my brother since I barely can even remember being able to talk" he got all defensive.
"Bummer" I sighed as I felt the wind breeze past us "Is it..Marcus Flint?"
He turned his face and looked directly into my eyes "I'm offended you even asked me that question.. I have taste you know unlike you"
"Now that hit deeper than the joint. Noted, so I'm guessing Draco, Claudio and his twin are off of the picture then"
He didn't say anything and simply shrugged.
"Is he even in Slytherin to begin with?" he shrugged again but I could see a smile come to surface in his expression.
"Hmm.. So he isn't in Slytherin.. Interesting.. I don't really see you with a Hufflepuff to be honest. So I'm guessing the mystery boy is either in Gryffindor or Ravenclaw.."
He still didn't respond and inhaled the last hit.
"Give me a tiny hint" I begged and he shook his head "Oh come on! Am I at least on the right track?" I insisted.
"Fine.. Seeing how desperate you are I'll give you a hint. I hate to admit this but you are indeed on the right track" he admitted.
"Neville?"
"The plant guy?" he looked surprised "No although he did once offer to grow plants for me"
Neville growing plants for him? He's so nice..We really don't deserve him.
"Hmm.. Goldstein?" I honestly didn't really think it would be him, but I still gave it a shot.
"Hell no.. He's so creepy"
"Yeah didn't really think so to be honest.. Ahh this is getting difficult " I confessed.
"We could always stop you know.." he offered.
"No I won't stop until I find out.. Is it Ron Weasley?"
His cheeks started blushing. Was it really him?
I honestly can't really see them together.
"The mystery guy is Ron?" I inquired, slightly shook.
"No. No" his cheeks were getting rosier by the second.
"Then who? Or wait.. Is it his best friend? It's Harry isn't it!"
He didn't say anything and pressed his lips into a thin line in order to prevent himself from smiling.
"Oh my god!" I did not expect that "The chosen one huh?" I teased.
"Oh stop it" he was blushing.
"Wow.. I have to admit I did not see that coming"
Honestly I'm really happy for him, but I don't know if Harry feels the same way about him.
"Too bad.. He never even looks at me" the smile plastered on his face started to fade away.
"You never know"
"Don't give me that bullshit optimism" he tried reasoning.
"It's really possible though. When I think about it I never really saw Harry with a girl so far. He never even talks about girls.. We're not best friends but I know him quite well now and he surely would have at least mentioned once if he was interested in a particular girl. Also you know what, when I think about it, I witnessed Ginny try to flirt with Harry a couple of times during lunch but Harry never really flirted back. He was always just polite. Of course this doesn't particularly indicate that he might be interested in men and just means that he doesn't like Ginny in that way, but you never know.."
He gave me a smile so unsure that it never reached his eyes "We talked so much about my miserable love life and never really got the chance to talk about yours.." he pointed out, "What's wrong?"
"Honestly talking to you really made me take my mind off things. I'm not really upset anymore and plus you seem like you're out of weed so we'll leave that discussion for another time" I smiled.
"One thing you should know is that I'm never out of stock and second yeah I'm getting kind of tired as well"
We both started walking back to the Slytherin common room. As we were about to head in opposite directions to go to our rooms Theo said "Give him time"
I gave him a half smile and nodded.
....
I was late for my classes so I hurriedly rushed to the Great Hall to grab a cup of coffee for it to wake me up a bit, I still felt a bit high from last night. There were only a handful of people having late breakfast.
I poured some steaming hot coffee, almond milk and three shots of espresso into a paper cup and started walking to my classes when I caught a glimpse of Claudio eating cereal alone while reading the Daily Prophet.
This time the front cover said 'THE DARK LORD ATTEMPTS A COUP IN ROMANIA'
All my problems seem so minor when I see what the Dark Lord is doing. We are literally in the middle of a war and I'm worried about some guy. I'm pathetic..
"42 hours," Claudio said as he shoved a spoonful of cereal in his mouth.
I hate this countdown he's doing, it makes me anxious.
The funny thing is that he's doing it for nothing..
I acted as if I didn't hear him and started speedwalking to potions class.
Thankfully Slughorn didn't say anything about me being late as I quickly took a seat next to Hermione.
"Hey. What did I miss?" I whispered to Hermione.
"Nothing important. He was just talking about academic integrity and how apparently a couple of students had very similar answers for the test we did two weeks ago" she informed me, as she hinted motioning her head towards Pansy and Crabbe.
"Oh.. Yeah I'm not really surprised" I admitted and took a sip of my steaming hot coffee.
"Please tell me that's coffee" she said and I offered it to her "Oh thank god. I was up all night to study for finals"
"Wait, aren't finals three weeks from now?" I inquired as she took a huge gulp and my gaze flicked over to him.
He was staring mindlessly at the potions rack as if he were memorizing all of their spots and analyzing the structures of each individual potion vial.
Then he suddenly caught me staring at him. I didn't look away like I normally did, neither did he.
"Yeah they are. I always start studying at least a month in advance, I'm even late than usual this year" she said as my eyes were still on his. He gave me the same look he did last night, cold and distant.
I hated it. I absolutely hated it.
It felt like there were dementors sucking my soul and the only thing I could feel was the cold.
He snapped me out of my thoughts as he rose up from his seat and left the room.
Did he despise me this much that he couldn't even bear to stay in the same room as me?