Words 2047
TESSA.
It's silent on the way to school. Emery's head is against the window and Auden is half asleep. I insisted on taking them to school today.
How am I supposed to get better if I don't start doing normal things? Anyways, Emery was relieved I wanted to drive them. She didn't feel like driving. I don't blame her.
I drop Auden off first, hoping to maybe talk to Emery before school. I grip the steering wheel tightly as I turn out of Auden's school's parking lot. It takes me a while to get the courage to speak. "I think maybe you should get a job. Don't you think?" I ask casually, turning on the blinker and pulling into the parking lot.
She lets out a breath, shrugging her shoulders. "I don't feel like it." She says shortly, fiddling with her fingers. I park the car and glance over at her.
She doesn't move to get out, she just stares out the window. "I think it would be good for you. It'll be something to look forward to. It might be the first step to getting over co-"
"I don't need to get over him." She shoots me a warning glare. "What I said last night was dumb and... I should've never said it. I did the right thing, leaving the airport." I don't think I've ever heard her sound so distant, and that's a lot coming from me, who has only experienced distance between her.
I don't reply, I just nod my head. "Even if you don't need to get over anyone, a job would be good." I leave it at that, nodding my head at her.
I don't say anything more about it, I just wish her a good day at school and I wait for her to walk inside before exhaling and tightened my grip on the wheel. It's a hurt and sort of intense feeling when you realize your daughter needs you but she won't open up. I realize she has done that to me since she was sixteen but this feels different. I don't think I've ever seen her so sad. It reminds me of myself when I moved to Seattle. I had been waiting forever to go to Seattle and when I got there, it didn't feel the way I thought it would. The only thing I could think about was how Hardin was more than three hours away. Of course, when I moved to New York it was tough too but I seemed to have way more closure in New York than Seattle and New York kind of became my new home. It's even better with Hardin beside me.
After a couple minutes of sitting in the parking lot I let out a small breath and beginning my journey to Laura Layton's house. Laura is an old high school friend that reached out to me about her wedding.
She lives in the outskirts of Manhattan, at least thirty minutes from here but I insisted to come visit because we were really good friends back then. She had a mother like mine, always pressuring her to succeed the way her mother wanted her to. It made me feel less alone sometimes. Noah was a great friend, but his parents weren't as strict as my mother.
When my GPS says I'm getting close, that's when I really focus. I swear these cities are the scariest to drive in. The cars hardly move half the time, but sometimes, if you go at the right time, they move somewhat smoothly.
I just now missed that time, so I'm stopping every few seconds. I huff, pulling my phone out to text Laura. I end up calling instead,
"Hello?"
"Hey Laura, I'm going to be a bit late. Traffic is heavy out here." I chuckle lightly and I hear talking in the background.
"That's alright, my neighbors are over having some cookies and milk I made." She says cheerfully. She is one of those people who sound happy and cheerful all the time. I can't help but think about how annoyed Hardin would be with her. He doesn't like being around those kinds of people. He says they make him uneasy.
I can't help but let out an amused huff at the thought, "okay, I will be there in hopefully five minutes."
◉‿◉
It takes twenty minutes... definitely did not want to waste that time sitting in my car staring at a dusty truck that someone had fingered "fuck the rear, not the front." into the dust. What does that even mean?
Hardin would get a kick out of it though, so I wasn't too annoyed.
My legs take short but quick strides across the sidewalk, fiddling to strap a pen to my planning binder, one slip and my binder collides with my abdomen, making me stop and squeeze my eyes shut.
A small pain shoots through my abdomen and I take a deep breath, gathering myself. It's not a big deal, Tessa. It'll be gone in a few weeks and you'll be fine. My subconscious tells me, and this time I think she's right. Of course, it's still annoys me when I accidentally poke my wound. I hardly realize it's there, unless if I move a wrong way or— in this case— jab it with the corner of my binder.
I smile lightly. I was stabbed almost a week ago by a maniac and now I'm back to work. Feels good to be alive right now.
I begin to walk again, about to climb the concrete steps to Laura's door when she opens it, screaming a hello in a high pitch whine.
Ah yes, I have missed her. I start to scream as well, trotting up the steps and clashing into her for a hug, careful of my wound, of course.
"Okay, before we begin, we have to catch up!" She says wildly, her smile huge on her face as she grabs my elbows and shakes me lightly.
"Oh- ohh-" I mutter as she shakes, but when she stops I get my reply out, "okay." I try to match her smile but I'm not as enthusiastic like her. I don't think it's possible to be as elated as she is.
"Oh!" She shouts, twisting around and dragging me into her living room, which is just around the corner. "My neighbors are still here."
"This is Amy—" I tune her out as I stare at him. Either that or she's stopped talking, also noticing the thick uncomfortable tension in the room. I stare at him for a moment before turning to look at Laura and that's when I realize she is still talking. "And this is Trevor, her husband."
I snap my mouth shut once I realize it's hanging open and I turn to look at Trevor again. My body feels limp, almost as if it isn't my own. I feel like I'm just lingering in the room like a ghost beside my body.
And then he talks, "Tessa!" There's no anxiety in his voice, nor is there distaste. Just pure shock and happiness. He hops up from his seat and pulls me into a hug.
It's an awkward hug. I can barely control my own breathing, how could I hug someone I knew, and stayed away from, normally? We tilt left and right before he releases me, ignoring my silence as he smiles. "Amy, this is Tessa. I used to work with her."
Amy smiles, she also looks normal. Not anxious or surprised, just happy to meet me. How? "Nice to meet you, Tessa." She sticks her hand out, and that's when I finally feel my body start to work as I want again.
I stick out my hand and shake hers, nodding my head with a smile. "Nice to me you too." I say, charging straight for a recliner chair. "So should we begin with the flowers or—"
"Oh no, I didn't know you knew each other!" Laura beams, placing her hand over her heart. My heart beats quickly, begging and pleading that they'll leave soon. I hate that the first thing I think of is how much Hardin would hate him being in the same room as me. And I hate that that's what's driving my anxiety. "This is amazing! Aw, you guys catch up. I'll make more cookies!" She claps, and I slouch into my seat.
Trevor sits, nodding towards me. "So, how is life now-a-days?" He questions, lifting his eyebrows.
"Well, I..." I lick my lips staring down at my binder. "Hardin and I have—"
"So you are still with Hardin?" He nods as if I had just answered a question of his and I nod.
"Yes, and we are very happy." I say, making sure to emphasize happy. "We have two kids. One seventeen and one eleven."
"That's amazing!" Trevor cheers, and Amy puts her hand on his arm.
"We have two for ourselves. One is off to college and the other is ten." She says, smiling lightly.
Wow, he really has his life together. I don't know why that's surprising to me. It shouldn't be, he definitely deserves everything he has now. He has worked very hard.
"Jim is the one in college, he got a lacrosse scholarship and is going to UPenn. So proud of him. And Jay is planning to go to NYU so he can be close to us. He is a daddy's boy." His eyes glow with admiration and Amy rolls her eyes. I can't help but feel somewhat relieved. I don't know why... "What about your kids?"
I smile lightly, "well, my daughter, Emery. She is about to turn eighteen and is thinking about going to college in Pullman like I did." Well, that's isn't totally true but there's no way I'm telling them she doesn't want to go to school at all. Not after how he portrayed his children. Is that heartless of me? Trevor's smile falters, but only for a small second, until they light up in realization.
"Amy, that was her! The one Cole brought to the birthday party. I told you I recognized her!" He says, glancing at his wife as if I've disappeared from the room.
I huff out a small laugh, trying to hide my confusion. "I'm sorry. What?"
"Oh, hey," he looks back over at me. "Do you know Cole Matthews? He's my grandson!"
I feel my chest tighten and my brain, yet again, loses control of my body and my mouth flops open. "What? I don- don't— I don't know his last name. Emery has never— she has never told me." I stutter, wanting so badly to leave. Where is Laura? Is it getting hot in here? It feels like it.
"Well isn't this a small world." Trevor smiles lightly before it deflated into a small line. "Although I've heard him and his mother are moving back to New Hampshire. I'm sure you know."
"I know a little about it..." I mutter, fiddling with my thumbs.
"Well, make sure you tell Emery he'll be back here for Christmas. He was supposed to stay here for a week to spend time with Jim on his break. If that is still happening, I will let you and Emery know." Trevor nods, but I know he's bluffing. He doesn't even have a way to reach me, and I know Hardin wouldn't like it very much if he did. Which is a good thing because I know Emery wouldn't like that either.
We talk for a while longer, but all I can keep my mind on is what I'm going to tell Hardin...
◉‿◉
𝙰𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚛'𝚜 𝙽𝚘𝚝𝚎
So, I've been writing a Cole x Emery short story. I'm basically rewriting a twenty one pilots short story I made a year ago, but of course I'm making it better. It's going to be based off of The Proposal with Ryan Reynolds and Sandra Bullock. Such a great movie!
I'm hoping to be finished writing that short story before I finish publishing this book, so when I'm writing the second book I'll have something to post between then. If that even makes any sense ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Oh, happy April fools! What I said wasn't a lie tho^
Chapter sixty six: April 1, 2021