*Hello readers sorry for the long wait. There was a death in the family back in March and it was very shocking and unexpected so I have taken some time to myself for a few weeks. I'm back now and hope to produce more chapters to make up for my two-month absence. Hope everyone is staying safe.
- LunaMoon 5/16/21
(Original Author's note 3/4/21) Hello readers! With Out of the Woods coming to an end soon, I am here to officially announce book four's title! It will be called "Into The Light" inspired by @Caramelyfox 's comment "Into The Sunlight". Thank you for commenting, because I would have never thought of a title as fitting and amazing as this one!
I hope you enjoy this chapter! Remember to vote and comment, it is always appreciated!
Until next time!*
-LunaMoon
Magnus carries Ambrose out onto their balcony, setting him down on one of the wooden chairs. He was reluctant to let go of his mate, afraid he would have another fit of terror. But he'd asked to be alone and Magnus wanted to respect his space.
It was cold outside like it always was. But the Northern Wind blowing through the kingdom made the frosty bite of the air a tad bit worse. The air smelt of snow and pine, a hint of smokiness floating in from the town, the people gathering at night in front of fires to keep warm.
He had no idea why Ambrose would want to sit outside in this weather. But he insisted on being brought out to the balcony, something about wanting fresh air.
Magnus grabs a thick blanket from their bedchamber, wrapping it around Ambrose so he wouldn't catch a cold sitting outside. He had no wolf to protect him now, his immune system as feeble as a human's.
He rubs along Ambrose's shoulders, the gentle friction causing the area to warm. He keeps on rubbing, noticing how Ambrose's face relaxes, a soft smile grazing his lips. He loved to see Ambrose smile, it was nice seeing an emotion other than the usual fear or anger that marred his delicate features.
Magnus felt like a terrible mate. All this time Ambrose was suffering and he was too blind to see that, all of his attention going to Senna. She wasn't even his own pup, to begin with. He was foolish for letting Senna into his heart so quickly. He couldn't help it though. The thought of Ambrose having his pups made his heart swell. So it wasn't any surprise that Magnus had attached himself to this pup so suddenly.
He longed to see Senna one last time before she left the palace. But he wasn't sure that Ambrose would like it all that much. His mate was his priority now and he couldn't let himself stray. Especially after all that Ambrose had been through in the past few months.
He couldn't believe that he didn't think of a plan to help Ambrose. He knew better than to sit around while his mate was suffering. It was all his fault, Ambrose had been suffering because Magnus couldn't speak up about his abuse.
It must've hurt Ambrose to know how much Magnus loved his daughter. To see how he held Senna with such care while he was suffering in silence. Goddess, Magnus couldn't stop messing everything up!
Ambrose decided where Senna was going to stay while she grew up. When presented with the idea, King Bowyn had outright refused. But once explained, he had no choice but to agree.
Magnus still wasn't convinced that where they were sending Senna was a good idea. But if Ambrose was positive that it was safe, they would have to take his word for it. Ambrose was set to deliver the pup himself, which made Magnus worry greatly.
"Magnus," Ambrose says, making him blink slowly. He was still holding tightly onto Ambrose, hands still rubbing up and down the expanse of his arms. He focuses on his mate's face, noticing how his forehead was slightly creased. His eyes shone with worry, hands reaching out to stop Magnus's movement.
"You seem to be lost in thought," Ambrose comments, looking deep into the older man's eyes. "Is something troubling you?"
Magnus only smiles, shaking his head no. He shouldn't trouble Ambrose with his thoughts, it would only worsen the already somber mood.
"You've nothing to worry about, Rose," Magnus says, his smile wavering as Ambrose's forehead creases further. Worry written within those lines.
Magnus smooths the back of his finger against the space between Ambrose's brows, rubbing softly to make the lines disappear.
He leans down, pressing a tender kiss to Ambrose's lips before pulling back to gaze into his lover's darling hazel eyes.
"You'll be alright? Out here alone?"
"Of course," Ambrose smiles, placing his hand on Magnus's cheek. "I just... need to be alone now. I need time to process things."
"Then I'll leave you be. Don't worry, I will not stay in our bedchamber, I can find somewhere else to stay for a few hours. Perhaps I will visit the library. Or the-,"
Ambrose says something then. So soft that Magnus couldn't hear what he'd said.
"Repeat that, please," Magnus asks, leaning closer to Ambrose.
"...Go see her," he says again, making Magnus's eyes widen. He wasn't sure he'd heard Ambrose correctly. His voice was so small, Magnus convinced himself that he'd heard wrong. But just to be sure...
"What? Rose, I-,"
"This will be your last chance to spend time with her. At least for a long while. You shouldn't worry about staying with her too long, I don't mind. I want you to have these last few moments with her alone, you've seemed to connect with her. It would be unfair to you to let her go without a proper goodbye first. I promise I won't be upset if you choose to go see her."
Magnus's heart thrums wildly in his chests, eyes stinging as he gazes down at his mate. He was touched by Ambrose's kindness, allowing him to share a few more precious moments with Senna before she is taken away.
Magnus wraps his arms around Ambrose, squeezing tightly as he murmurs soft 'thank you's' over and over again. Tears spill out of his eyes and drip onto the fabric of Ambrose's robes. The omega reaches out for his mate, tugging him closer than before. He could practically feel the happiness pouring out of Magnus in waves.
Magnus presses his lips to Ambrose's once more, the kiss more passionate than the previous.
"I love you, Rose," Magnus whispers, making Ambrose's heart skip a beat. He would never tire of the man saying those words to him. "I promise I'll be there to hold you while you sleep. But do not wait up for me, I'd hate it for you to lose sleep. You need to rest for your body to heal properly."
"I'll be looking forward to your touch," Ambrose murmurs, pressing his lips against the older's cheek. "Give her a kiss for me."
Magnus's eyes widen at the words. He wanted Magnus to kiss Senna for him? He thought that Ambrose wanted nothing to do with the little pup. He looks at Ambrose, noticing how the omega's eyes were downcast.
"I-," He starts, biting his lip softly. "I wish I could love her just as much as you do. I wish I could look past the fact that she is a part of Johnathan. I would give anything to be able to hold her without going into a panic. But I can't... and this is what's best for both me and Senna. Now go see her while you still have time."
Magnus presses one last kiss to his mate's forehead, exiting their bedchamber in a rush. Ambrose watches Magnus leave through the glass of the balcony door. He couldn't help the laugh that escaped him at the sight of Magnus stumbling into the hallway. A muffled 'thank you' was thrown out as the door swung shut behind him.
He felt happy with his decision to let Magnus see Senna one last time. He didn't feel betrayed or saddened because he knew how much it meant to his mate. He was prepared for Magnus to be upset after Senna was sent away. Which is why Ambrose was determined to spend the rest of his life making it up to Magnus.
Ambrose sits out on the balcony for a long while, until his cheeks were flushed a soft pink and his body shivered gently with each gust of wind that brushed against him. Even though he was freezing, he refused to go back inside where it was warm. Though he couldn't walk, he was perfectly capable of crawling back inside, which is why Magnus was alright with leaving him alone. Perhaps choosing to stay in the cold was a way of punishing himself for deciding to give up Senna.
He breathes in deeply, the crisp air filling his lungs before he releases it with a sigh. The familiar creak of the balcony door causes Ambrose's eyes to fly open, heart pounding frightfully in his chest. His body tenses, immediately preparing for the worst.
He nearly sobs in relief when he sees his mother standing in the doorway, worried eyes trained on his eldest son.
"Mama..."
"Magnus asked if I could check on you... I think it would be best if we got you back inside. How about I settle you in bed under the covers? I can tuck you in just as I used to when you were a pup. I'll even read you a book if you'd like. Please will you allow me to take you inside?"
Ambrose only nods, assuming his mother would clear a small path through the accumulated snow so that he wouldn't have to crawl through it to get to his bed. But he is shocked when Tabari hooks his arm under his knees and behind his back, hoisting him up into his arms.
He stumbles at first, regaining his footing by leaning against the balcony railing. Ambrose clings tightly onto him, praying that Tabari wouldn't drop him.
"Oh my, you're not a pup anymore," Tabari comments, taking one trembling step at a time as he makes his way back into the bedchamber. "It was much easier to carry you around when you were just a little thing."
Ambrose giggles, making Tabari smile, joining in on his laughter. It was so nice, seeing him genuinely smile again.
Tabari finally reaches the bed, gently depositing his pup onto it. He is careful to tuck him in, making sure his ankle bandages were secure.
"I haven't had a proper chance to talk with you in a long time," Tabari says, settling next to Ambrose on the bed. Ambrose turns to face Tabari, grabbing hold of his hand. "We haven't been alone together since you've come back."
"I know, I'm sorry," Ambrose responds, nuzzling their entwined hands. "You wanted to speak to me on my birthday and I completely forgot to go to you. I was with Johnathan and... do you remember what you wanted to speak with me about?"
"I was going to finally voice my opinion on Johnathan," Tabari says, making Ambrose's eyes widen. "I had a gut feeling, something was off about him. If only I'd listened to my instincts further, you might not have had to suffer."
"It's not your fault mama," Ambrose says. "Johnathan would have tried to hurt me anyways. He told me that he wanted to kill omegas. He'd been planning on killing me since the day we met."
"The night that you were saved, the authorities in Abingora searched the entire house for anything they might have missed in the initial rescue. In a hidden room imprinted with scent blockers, there were piles upon piles of bones. Decomposing bodies, some fresh, others Goddess knows how old. So many slain omegas it was sickening to look at. Both the King of Abingora and your father saw this as a terrible crime that could not go unpunished They came to an agreement that we will be responsible for both Johnathan and his mate Zaire if they are both punished. In any way we see fit, but they must be punished nonetheless."
"What?! That's ridiculous! Zaire hasn't done anything wrong, he's the victim too! Johnathan did the same thing to Zaire as he did to me! If not worse! Why is he being tried as a criminal when he's done nothing to deserve that title?! Father wouldn't stand for this, it isn't fair! Mama, we have to stop-,"
"Ambrose," Tabari interjects, tightening his grip on his hand. "Abingora isn't an enemy to our kingdom, but they aren't our allies either. We need to continue to stay neutral with them, as they are a strong pack as well. From what we gathered, Zaire tried to kill you. We know that Johnathan must have ordered him to do so but the King of Abingora saw what Zaire did as a terrible offense. He attempted to murder the crowned prince of the Northern Isle. If anyone else tried to do what he did, they would have been tortured and killed. Your father doesn't plan to torture him or take away his children. But he is still seen as a danger and will have to be kept away from the royal family and the only way to do that is to have him work for one of our retired warriors. He would help with housework and whatever else needs to be tended to. It is the mildest solution we can offer in this situation."
Ambrose pales, leaning back onto the pillows behind his head. It didn't sit right with him. Zaire should be able to have a good life. Raise his pups and be happier than he's ever been. To finally be free from Johnathan, the man who hurt him the most. He shouldn't be forced to waste the rest of his life working for someone with no payoff. It made Ambrose extremely upset.
"Can I at least talk with Zaire?"
"You will have to be supervised by a few guards."
"But mama-,"
"You will be lucky if I can get you near him at all. I've met Zaire and I think he's a sweet boy. But your father is still wary of him and I doubt he will let you anywhere close to him. Take what I can give you and be appreciative of that."
"Yes mama," Ambrose whispers, head hung in submission.
He was still upset over the whole situation but he knew his father would not be swayed. Once he's made his decision, it is extremely hard to get him to change. He needed to speak with Zaire to see how he felt in this situation. But for now, he still had many things to ask his mother about.
"Mama," Ambrose says, the tone of his voice making it clear to Tabari that he was changing the subject. "Can I ask you something personal?"
Tabari nods tentatively, noticing how Ambrose had become more hesitant.
"How did you cope with it all? Was it hard or..."
Tabari's face pales. He knew what Ambrose was going to ask deep down, and he had no desire to answer. He never wanted any of his children to know of the horrors he went through as a child. But since Ambrose could now relate to him in some aspects, he could only offer his input to help his son.
"It was extremely difficult for me to lead a normal life after my experience. And I haven't necessarily gotten over my trauma either. It is more like your father has made accommodations for me. He doesn't require me to be around lots of men especially alone. Though it sounds silly, I have a fear of red apples. It was a trigger for me, seeing them would send me into a panic. So your father limited exports of red apples into the kingdom and they are not allowed in the castle. Most of the apples in the kingdom have a golden or green color. Very few are red. The first day I was beaten and assaulted I was trying to sneak more food to your Uncle Akio. I saw an apple on the table and... if only I hadn't seen it I wouldn't have gone into the room and..."
Ambrose places his hand on Tabari's shoulder. He hadn't realized he'd begun to shake until Ambrose had pulled him back into reality. Ambrose was sitting up now, staring directly into Tabari's glossy eyes.
"I'm sorry mama, you don't have to continue," Ambrose says softly, rubbing his hands gently up and down his arms.
"No, I want to continue if it means I can help."
Ambrose nods slowly, biting his lip gently. There were so many things he wanted to ask his mother. He didn't know where to start. He didn't want to upset him so he decided to stay clear of asking about Tabari's childhood.
Ambrose flushes, averting his eyes from his mother. He knew what he wanted to ask next.
"Did you and Daddy have a difficult time doing it after? Or was it easy?"
"We've never...mated for pleasure," Tabari says, making Ambrose's brows furrow.
"Both your father and I wanted more children and we knew what had to be done to produce them. At first, I was terrified and we couldn't do much. It took us three tries to get me pregnant and that was enough to make me never want to mate again. I felt no pleasure whatsoever. Your father found it difficult mating with me because he felt horrible doing it when I wasn't being pleasured. But we wanted children and... I never felt afraid of him, only the act we were taking part in.
"Giving birth wasn't easy either. I screamed and wailed and threw a fit when they tried to get me to push. But I was stubborn, I wouldn't do it. So the doctors were forced to cut my belly open and take the pups out that way. It is extremely dangerous to do even with our healing and medicines. But I refused to push one bit. Just the thought of pushing a child out from me would trigger memories of my assault. So that is how I gave birth to all four of your siblings. They'd cut me open and take them straight from my womb. My chances of dying during childbirth were higher but I much preferred that over giving birth naturally."
Ambrose had no idea that his mother was suffering that greatly from his experience. Would it be the same for him and Magnus? It was hard to tell because he had no previous experience with sex. His first time and thereafter had been non-consentual. Would every time bring back violent memories for him? The thought terrified Ambrose. He didn't want to be afraid to mate with Magnus. He was so upset he could cry.
Oh, the hold Johnathan had on him...
"Although," Tabari starts, a blush spreading from his cheeks to his ears. "More recently we've been trying to make things more pleasurable for me. I'm more comfortable with your father as we should be after sixteen years of marriage. We are working on developing a healthy sex life and it seems to be working. Every person is different in this world. And that goes with how we decide to handle our trauma as well. Some people are quick to pick up the pieces of their life and move on for the better. Others may take years and years to get to a good place. And some will never overcome their trauma. We all handle situations differently. Tell me, do you feel as if you can trust Magnus with your body? With your heart?"
"...Yes, I trust him. When I think of mating I'm not afraid of Magnus. I'm afraid that it won't be with Magnus. Does that make sense?"
"It makes perfect sense. You don't want to experience pain again. It's normal to be afraid of someone who isn't your mate touching you. The most important thing for you to do now is to heal. Focus on healing yourself before you do anything. You need to be sure of yourself before you make any decisions. You always want to do what's best for you and always make sure you feel comfortable in any situation you may face in the future.
"I've never had to give someone advice about this before," Tabari continues, pulling Ambrose close to him so his head lays on his chest. "But I hope I did well."
"You did, mama. It helped me, talking about your experience. Thank you for sharing, it must have been hard for you."
"I want you to be safe and protected always. Remember you can come to me for anything and I'll always be there for you. I love you so much, Ambrose, and I'm so sorry this had to happen to you. If only I could take away your pain, I would do it in a heartbeat."
Ambrose settles completely into Tabari's embrace, his eyelids feeling heavy. Tabari strokes the top of his head, smoothing down his golden hair. He felt as if he was a little pup again, back in his parents' bedchamber, snuggling close to his mother and father. He felt warmth radiating off his mother, further calming him. He felt as if he could finally relax. With a few final words, he drifts off to sleep.
"I love you too, mama."
*I hope you liked this bonding moment between Tabari and Ambrose! Tabari's always been my favorite character I've written. Again, sorry for not updating in a while. Also sorry for so many author's notes. :,) *
-LunaMoon