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- Continuation of flashback -
Six years later,
(Author's POV )
"Taehyung-ah! Dinner is ready come downstairs!"
The upstairs door creaked open as twelve year old Taehyung came out of his room descending downstairs.
The female with a brim on her face started serving food on his plate.
But Taehyung didn't even bothered to look at the plate and started wearing his winter coat ready to jog out.
His mother noticed it and blocked the passage before the preadolescent could exit.
"Where are you going?" Eunjae had enough of it. Like it became Taehyung's daily routine to skip his dinner and spend whole night outside. This dysfunctional behaviour of him started worrying Eunjae.
"You care?"
Rolling his eyes, he tried to push his mother from the door but she refused to move.
With a glare she grabbed Taehyung's arm and made him sit on the dining chair.
"I have enough of your bratty behaviour. Now quietly eat your dinner then head to your room and study." The woman said sternly while serving herself on the plate.
"Why do you think I'll listen to you?"
"Cause I'm your mother." Eunjae replied without looking at him.
Taehyung scoffed getting up from the chair abruptly,
"I am glad you remember......that you're my mom.....but-" his words died subsequently as eyes became gloomy. Eunjae became liable watching her son tearing up overlooking the comment his son just made on her motherhood. Can a mother ever get offended on her own creation's criticism.
"Taehyung-ah...." she walked towards him and started caressing his head endearingly.
"Are you okay Adul (son)? You can share it to me baby I'm your mother." She asked expecting his son to open up but instead got pushed away by him.
Taehyung stood in his place crying silently as his mother helplessly watched him breaking down infront of her. Tears gathered in her eyes too but for Taehyung, he doesn't seem to give a fuck.
Taehyung pressed his lips together to suppress his sob but subsequently failed.
"I want to say yes..but I'm not. I want to be...I thought I could be but- no!" He looked up at his mother whose chin was wobbling in sorrow.
"I'm suffering. Every day I'm being bullied. I just can't take this anymore...I-I try my best to change people's perception towards me, for that I study hard and always score the highest, do my best in sports and other curricular activities but no use! I can never get rid of this! I can never get rid of this life!!...." dropping on his knees he started crying hard.
"Never did wrong to anyone but yet here suffering for someone else's sin-"
"Taehyung-ah!"
Taehyung scoffed wiping his tears,
"What mother ain't I a mistake?" A mokering smile spread it's way on that twelve year old latter's face tearing still draining from the sides of his eyes.
"Don't call yourself that." Eunjae muttered under her breath feeling so feeble at her own failure to provide his son a healthy environment.
A respectable one...
Watching his mother going through guilt trip made his blood boil in anger. Swiftly getting up from the ground he towered his height over his mother. Even being a pubescent, he is much taller than an average adolescent boy.
"Why can't I? I'm not a kid anymore that you'll manipulate. In the society we live everyone judges. If you knew that why did you gave birth to me in the first place! exactly knowing people will judge me for being......illegitimate..why didn't you just go for an *sob* a-abortion.."
"Do you think I have been able to live without you? I lo-"
"For your selfishness you ruined my life." Taehyung murmured wiping his tears with a blank stare.
Eunjae's heart stopped beating for a second. She felt her whole world crush infront of her. She could see her son walking away from her but she was too dumstruck to stop him. The last sentence of him made her completely body frozen.
Taehyung stopped before looking at his mother for the last time full of resentment.
"Neither could you give me a good father nor you're able to give me a respectable life."
Saying that he stormed out of the room not even looking back at his mother whose knees dropped on the floor and started crying her heart out.
On the other hand Taehyung didn't know where his legs would take him but all he is peace for now.
A quiet place where no one could reach him.
A place where no one could recognise him.
All he wants is to just disappear from the world if that's what it takes him to get rid of all the pain his poor heart is being going through from so long.
Next day,
Striking rays of sun penetrated Taehyung's eyelids interrupting his sweet comfy slumber. Unwillingly he opened his eyes to find himself under an oak tree near a melancholic streaming river. A place away from civilisation. A place which he always used to visit to get rid of the chaos in the slum.
Yawning Taehyung lazily looked at his wrist watch which was showing exactly 11:00 am. He abruptly stood on his feets as panic started to invade in him. No matter how much he had quarrel with his mother but no one can deny that his mother matters the most for him.
She's the only family.
No doubt Taehyung yesterday brusted out on her but he also loves her the most.
Taehyung looked down feeling guilty for making his mother cry. He didn't want to but anger issues gets the best of him. Which sometimes creates trouble in his life.
He looked at his pocket and found 6,000 won which he earned yesterday by helping a man to set dumplings in his stall.
With that money he brought a beautiful sculpture of laughing buddha and smiled. He brought it for his mother who have a heavy faith in God inspite of the difficulties she faces in her day to day life,
She never loose faith from god.
Maybe after seeing the gift she might condone him for his yesterday's behaviour. He grinned and made his way towards the slum where they live.
But little did he know what was waiting for him.
Stepping inside the lane of his colony, a cold chill ran down his spine when he saw the scenario infront of him.
His heart dropped to it's deepest pit when he saw piles of dead bodies scattering all over the place making it look like a scenario of a bloody mess in a war.
His fearful orbs dilated as he felt a sudden urge to vomit watching this amount of dead bodies coated with blood and mud.
Everyone's dead...
Every single people in this slum....except him.
That's when realisation hit him hard.
His mother.
With wobbling legs he made a run towards the direction of his home like a dog run when it's unleashed.
Screaming frantically like a madman, he started looking for for his mother in the piles of murdered bodies. Not caring a bit about the direct contact of his skin with blood and many disgusting substances on the mutilated cadavers, he started tossing the decreases one after another with his bare hands.
But his action stopped as his body froze on it spot when he saw his mother's lifeless body glazed with blood and mud.
Her eyes open as now flies started fleeting around it to lay eggs.
The scenario was so horrifying and heartbreaking at the same time.
Taehyung's knees felt weak. With a loud thud he fell on the floor on his knees as tears started streaming down his cheeks silently.
Everything felt so cold....
So empty...
'Taehyung-ah eomma
will never leave you.'
'I'm sorry Taehyung-ah but
your eomma will do her best
to provide you a good life.'
'My dearest piece of moon.'
"Eomma....."
He crawled towards her body and started tapping her cheeks gently expecting her to wake up.
"Eomma! il-eonajuseyo!!" (wake up please)
He started crying loud like a toddler holding her mother on his lap.
"Pl-please...I'm sorry I will never fight with you...I promise! I'll be a good child....Please.."
"Don't leave me!!" He hugged her mother's cadaver and cried his heart out.
As everything infront of his eyes started withering like a sandcastle.
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- Present time -
(Neum's POV)
"That was the first fight I ever had with my mother...never knew that would be the last."
Taehyung uttered blood gaze stuck on the ceiling. He stared at it blankly with hollowness deep inside his heart.
"Later I came to know my biological father was behind the massacre that took my mother away from me. He hired goons that used to run by the mafia king Han Seungnim, under whom Jungkook used to work before he took his empire to his side. For a fucking piece of land that man mercilessly killed all the people who used to live there in that slum...including my mother..." he paused and shifted his bloodshot eyes on his lap. Unknowingly tears streamed down my eyes after listening to his whole story.
Never in my wildest dream I imagined him to be the victim of any sort of cruelty. My pain now started to feel inferior infront of his ones.
"I wish I would have never left her that day...I wish I spent that day in my mother's embrace and never let her go.....I wish....all I could do is just to wish.."
"That day I became an orphan... that day I lost everything... that day the little bit of humanity left in me got killed." His lips shuddered and a sob took step interfering his voice.
My heart arched for the child, the twelve year old child who lost everything. Watching him made me realise that twelve year broken child still alive in this monster. It's overwhelming for me, the minute I start to feel empathy for him I am reminded that he has done the same sin what his father has done. He was a selfish bastard and now Taehyung is one too.
He's a broken man and he made me broken too.
I don't know should I feel pity for him or me.
He was sobbing while hugging my tummy like a frightened child. Watching him like this made me want to console him, but....I didn't want to.
I felt bad for him but also I didn't.
I feel so frustrated with this conflicted emotion building inside me. I don't know how to react anymore...what is wrong what is right....I fucking don't know.
It's so exhausting.
"You need rest." I said awkwardly trying to remove his arms but he didn't bulge a bit.
"Please...stay here....don't leave me." He whispered. I sighed and sit there in that position and him clinging on me which felt like a decade to me.
But he needed it...a human touch so I didn't protested and let him do what he want.
Many questions rambled on my head. This questions aren't new to me but never felt it necessary to get the answer but today....I felt the urge to get the answer.
I still remember his mother's photo which once I accidentally found in his wallet. I was so shocked to discover her and my face's similarities. I couldn't believe it at first.
That's why he never talked about his mother or his past to me. Adding one and one I also got the idea of why is he so obsessed.
It's because I resemble his mother?
"I.....is this why you are obsessed with me...is it because I look like your mother? That's why you don't wanna lose me cause you think I will too disappear from your life like your mother?..." I asked in a shaky voice. I heard him sigh as he lift up his head to look into my eyes.
I trembled a bit witnessing the sudden change in his behaviour. Just now he was sobbing while hugging me like a child and now staring directly into my soul like a wolf.
He signed and hold my shoulder sensing me becoming uneasy by his stare.
"I am not obsessed with you Neum I fucking love you...I..admit that when I first saw you I was very much astounded by your resemblance with my mother. I felt something weird...after so many years I felt fear...fear of losing you, even though I didn't even know you but I just felt the need to never let you go. Flashback of my mother's dead body started playing on my head and then watching you lying on the road all covered in blood.....it felt like I'm losing myself once again.....I couldn't let that happen..." he said staining his cheeks with tears. I don't know what to feel, everything is becoming so complicated, I looked down but he hold my hand dragging me closer to him.
"After talking and spending time with you I started falling for your personality...I wanted to have you all for myself....but I never thought things would become so messed up....it pierce my heart when I see hatred in those eyes of yours...but you might not know that sparkling eyes of yours give me hope too....." he paused and hugged me.
"To live...you're my hope, my life..my everything..I can't imagine my life without you..." he said with a kiss on my forehead.
I didn't reacted. He smiled endearingly and reached for the glass of juice for me.
He brought the glass infront of my lips but instead of siping a question slipped from my lips making him froze on his spot.
"Where is your father now...?"
There was a eerie of silence between us. Nor did he reacted a bit neither did I blinked.
He placed the glass on its original spot and stood up from the bed.
"Take rest I have to go." He demeanour changed into a confiding one as he turned his heel to walk out but in mean time I caught his wrist.
"Taehyung.."
"Please don't force me....I just want to forget everything... everything related to him.." he whispered backfacing me. I looked down in disappointment releasing his wrist.
"I won't...sorry."
"The pain of losing something...who can know better than me.....I faced that circumstance once in my life," he murmured finally turning around to face me. His eyes were glittering with unushered tears as he crouched down to my level, forehead of ours almost touching each other.
"I won't be able to endure it once again.....It would be better for both of us if you stay away from your ex husband and try to work on our relationship..."
He said with pleading eyes which failed to send any sort of sympathy in my heart this time.
"I don't want to harm anyone...anymore.."
Hearing him unintentionally a scoff left my mouth which didn't go unnoticed by him but he chose to act unaffected.
I don't know what's going on inside his mind but I'm done with this. I don't want to believe any of the promises this man makes.
I am so mentally exhausted right now.
"I'm am trying to understand you...I hope you do the same.." he mumbled and walked out of the room leaving her alone all in cold.
Another lone tear escaped from her shut eyelids,
"You can never understand my pain....even if you try....you are incapable of understanding anyone."
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(Author's POV)
Next day,
Jungkook's eyes shot away from his smart phone when the limo came into halt. Looking out of the black window at the building of elite school he rolled his eyes.
Clearly pissed off from today's charity function at school he let out a sigh. The chaos happening in his life clearly dysfunctioned his life in a mess. Not getting a sleep from past few days started making him uninterested in everything. All he could think about is Neum and the guilt of doubting her condition, started eating him alive.
But he can't let his personal life affect his professional life. Today he is being invited as a chief guest, he have to deliver an inspirational speech to encourage young people to be like him...
successful and graceful.
'To be like me....I would never wish someone to have a rotten fate like me.' - Jungkook thought and smiled.
Taking a deep breath his veiny hand travelled the handle of the door as he unlocked it getting out of the car.
The principal and director of the school approached him with a wide grin on their face as they respectably bowed to him.
Jungkook nodded bowing a bit in response.
"We are honoured to have you here sir!" The principal said excitedly somewhere finding it hard to believe 'The' Jeon Jungkook accepted to attend their school's event.
"Yeah thank you for make out time for attending our school function from your busy schedule. We are grateful." The director joined the conversation too.
"No problem." Jungkook brimmed. As they started walking towards the entrance, specifically Jungkook's eyes caught someone specifically out of all the walking crowd of children wearing same uniform.
A small kid was sitting on a seesaw all alone in mundane while other kids were busy in with their activities.
Jungkook stopped as he found the kid familiar to him eventhough his back was facing Jungkook.
"Sir?" His bodyguard called out to grab his attention which was fixed on someone else.
"You go..I've an important call to make." Jungkook replied without looking at him. They all nodded and left.
It felt like a unknown string which started to pull Jungkook towards the kid. His feets unconsciously started moving as he felt a weird feeling of attachment towards the unknown kid.
Crouching down to his level Jungkook gently tapped on his tender shoulder.
The kid became alert and swiftly turned around. Jungkook's mouth became 'o' when his doe chocolatey eyes came in contact with another doe eyes who had same expression as his.
Jungkook's heart swelled with an euphoric feeling when he saw that doe eyes again which he never really expected to see again.
A wide grin soon appeared on the little one's pink baby lips as he plunged on Jungkook's neck recoiling his tiny arms around him, hugging Jungkook tightly.
"Bunny uncle!!"
"Even if I see my own reflection in you, I always see the man I wanted to become. I don't know what our connection is but your smile is the antidote of all my sorrow."
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A/N : so many emotions and drama in one chapter phew.
Damm boi made me cry I'm depressed ಡ ͜ ʖ ಡ.
Btw which part was your fav in this chapter? Jk meeting Seungyo? Taehyung's past? Or Taehyung and Neum's convo?
And also suggest which song might suit today's chapter.
Thank chuu for reading ✿♥‿♥✿