Chapter 36
I cried my eyes out while leaning on his chest. Nandito lang kami sa loob ng kotse niya, hindi siya nagsalita at hinahagod lang ang likod ko habang umiiyak ako.
Nung mapagod na ako'y pinunasan niya ang mukha ko ng panyo. Umalis ako sa pagkakasandal sa kanya, nakaramdam ako ng hiya.
"Thanks..." I wiped my tears.
Tinitigan niya ako bago napangiti.
"Your welcome. Gutom ka na ba? Gusto mong kumain?" he cupped my chin and continued wiping my tears with his handkerchief.
Umiling ako.
"I'm not hungry..."
He sighed.
"Okay. We'll eat." he said in finality.
"I said, I'm not—"
Pinanlakihan niya ako ng mata sa pabirong paraan. Natakot naman ako. Ginagawa niya iyon noon pag umaalma pa ako sa pagkain. I used to be so strict in my diet, and he doesn't like that.
"Fine, you win," sabi ko.
He smiled and assisted me to the front seat. Hahayaan ko munang libangin niya ako dahil parte rin naman ito ng pagpapanggap kong ayos na kami.
Nakatulog ako sa kotse, gawa ng pagod. I woke up to a familiar place. The night felt breezy and calming. Namangha ako nung makitang nandito na kami sa tambayan namin noon.
"Hey..." he smiled. "Fries?"
Nanlaki ang mata ko nung makitang may bahay ng tinatayo sa tabi nito. It's kinda huge, foundation palang ang tinatayo kaya di ko pa rin masabi kung gaano kalaki ito.
There's more huts around now. Tons of fairy lights scattered around the place and more marble benches. Ang ganda ng lugar, gumanda mula nung huling punta ko rito.
He got some fries and inserted it inside my mouth. Napatawa siya roon at dahan-dahan kong nginuya iyon.
Tumingin ako sa harap namin at may nakitang malaking projector. Huh?
"What's that?" I pointed at it.
"Projector," sagot niya at kinain ang fries niyang BBQ flavored.
Ngumuso ako at kumuha sa fries niya. He smiled and wiped the side of my lips.
"I know," inikot ko ang mata.
He chuckled.
"I brought it out to watch a movie. Ano ba gusto mo?" kumuha siya ng fries at sinubo ulit iyon sa akin. I accepted it willingly. Nagugutom na ako dahil sa pagod at lahat ng nangyari ngayong araw.
Tumunog bigla ang tiyan ko kaya yumuko ako at nag-iwas ng tingin. Nakakahiya!
"I have some thai food here. Is that okay?"
Tumango ako.
Lumabas siya ng sasakyan, kaya ganoon rin ang ginawa ko. Giniya niya ako patungo sa may wooden table na naroon. I sat on the stool while watching everything. Ang ganda na talaga.
Tahimik kaming kumakain, saglit na nawala sa isip ko ang lahat-lahat. Pagod na nga ang utak ko sa kakaisip nung mga nangyayari, tapos ganon pa? Guguluhin niya nanaman ako ulit?
When can I live a life of peace without all of them? Yung kami lang ni Ardie at wala ng ibang mangugulo.
Prince watched me worriedly while eating his food. He pushed a large milktea in front of me. Ngumiti siya at inabot sa akin iyon.
"It's your favorite... large, cream cheese milktea without pearls and 25% sugar." aniya at pinasok ang straw.
My lips parted a bit. He still memorizes my favorites.
"Thank you," tipid akong ngumiti at tinanggap iyon.
I sipped on my milktea while watching him. He's wearing a formal suit, like a well respected lawyer. His hair is brushed up as usual, wala ni isang hibla ng buhok na humaharang sa mukha niya.
He looks so professional and hot at the same time. I haven't seen him on court, but I bet he's good. Siyempre, dahil top 1 nga siya ng BAR last year.
"Did he hurt you?" he asked calmly. "Si Troy. May ginawa na naman ba siya sayo?"
Lumunok ako at naalala ang nangyari kanina. Kahit ilang beses niyang akong hinalikan kanina, all that I felt is pain and anger. I really loved him, but all of that love is gone. Lalo pa sa ginawa at sinabi niya kanina.
"I'm sorry... it's okay if you won't answer it." umiwas siya ng tingin.
"He asked me to bear his child," I mindlessly said. I scoffed, fists clenching. "Tangina niya, anong gusto niyang mangyari? Na matapos niya akong lokohin, papayag lang ako na magpaanak sa kanya?"
Pumikit ako at pinigilan ang galit. I didn't want to overshare to him. Baka may masabi pa akong di niya dapat malaman.
"He said... it's the only way to stop our families from fighting." umiling ako.
"There's still another way..." Prince replied.
Tumingin ako sa kanya.
"What?"
Sumeryoso ang tingin niya, nag-iisip at parang ayaw sabihin ang naiisip.
"I talked to Dad... he told me he wouldn't do it..."
Umawang ang labi ko. Ano pa nga ba inaasahan ko? Who would take up a case that's beyond hopeless?
"I begged him. I tried my best, Elisse. But he doesn't want to be involve in such—"
"That means the deal is off, right?" I interjected. "Hindi mo natupad ang isa sa hiling ko. We can stop this, already!"
Umiling siya.
"Hindi pa ako tapos..." he told me.
Kumurap ako. Seryoso lang ang titig niya na parang ayaw na akong pakawalan.
"If my Dad won't do it, then I will."
Namilog ang mata ko.
"Prince!"
"You are left with no other choice. I can drop one of the cases, I'm handling for this. I think I'm credible enough to represent your father. Hindi rin naman—"
Paulit-ulit akong umiling.
"Ayoko! The deal is to have your father represent mine in court! Paano ako makakasigurado na kakayanin mo 'to, ha? You're just new! You may have won a lot of cases now, but it's different from Tito Aurelius!"
He gulped a bit and jaw clenched. I know how much he hates to represent murderers. Maski ako nga na anak ni Daddy ay naniniwalang siya talaga ang pumatay.
"You hate murderers... baka imbes na makawala si Daddy, ipatalo mo lang ang kaso..." kinuyom ko pa ang kamao at pumikit ng mariin bago tiningnan siya ulit.
"I won't," he looked at me. "Because I love you and finishing this case will bring back your peace of mind. I'm willing to gamble and forget my morals. Basta, matahimik ka lang at mapayapang mabuhay kasama ang anak mo."
My lips parted, hindi ko inaasahang sasabihin niya iyon. He's doing this for me?
He smiled. "I told you that I'll do everything for you, right? Nasasaktan ako pag nakikita kitang ganyan. So don't think about it too much, I'm in this too. I'm willing to protect a murderer for you and I'll do everything to get your father out of there..."
Nanginig ang kamay ko at napalunok. I planned to fool him and drop him again because he has hurt me in the past. Akala ko, katawan ko lang talaga ang habol niya sa akin. But now, that he is saying this...
A person who's only after my body wouldn't go through this extent. Kapalit ng peace of mind ko ay ang kanya.
Damn it... tama pa ba 'tong ginagawa ko? Tama ba na idamay ko pa siya rito? Was I really right to bring Ardie away from him?
Nakakainis. Sinaktan niya ako, pero heto at iniisip ko pa rin ang kapakanan niya. I will always have this soft spot for him. Dahil siya rin ang unang lalaki na minahal ko ng sobra.
"No," mariin kong sabi. "Don't get yourself involve. Deal's done. We can handle this on our own. Wag mo na idamay ang sarili mo."
Ngumisi siya at naiiling. Kinakabahan ako. Meron na ngang banta sa buhay namin dahil makapangyarihan ang mga Marchelli. They have politicians and family members who can put you out in seconds.
I'm just worried that something might happen to him. He's a Montereal, but anything can happen.
"Ngayon mo pa sasabihin iyan, kung kailan naimbestigahan ko na ang lahat?" his brow raised. "I've been trying to look into it, Elisse. Ever since I saw the threat in your life, I was even more determined to do everything to protect you."
Namilog ang mata ko at kumunot ang noo.
"There's a possibility that your father didn't do the crime... and that there is someone trying to cover it up."
Lumunok ako. Walang ibang sinabi sa akin si Mommy tungkol doon. Nalaman ko nalang bigla nung binalita iyon at nahuli si Daddy.
"Did you know where your mother was during that day?"
Kinagat ko ang labi.
"Where are you getting at, Prince?" Bumilis ang puso ko sa kabang nararamdaman.
He sighed.
"The murder happened in a hotel. I manage to get copies of the CCTV on the day of the crime and apparently, some clips were missing..."
Nanginig ang kamay ko. Parang may bumara sa lalamunan ko at hindi na makapagsalita.
"May nakita ka ba? Did you see someone else going inside the room?"
Yumuko si Prince.
"Before your father went in..." he trailed. "Your mother was there first with Lazarus Marchelli."
Mommy? Bakit siya naroon?
"The CCTV they submitted were edited without the part where your mother was the first one who arrived. Sumunod lang si Criselda and your father. Then after a few minutes, they only showed the part where Your father went out of the room, clean without the blood..."
Naguguluhan ako.
"I suspect there has been some tampering with the evidence here. Your mother is a lawyer, panigurado alam niyang—"
"What are you are trying to say, Prince? Na baka si Mommy ang totoong pumatay and Daddy took the blame for her!?"
Why would there be two kinds of CCTV copies? How weird! At bakit doon sa lumabas na kopya ay wala man lang isang anino ni Mommy?
But Prince said... there's another one with her going inside the room with Tito Lazarus. Why?
"I won't believe you until you show it to me. Mommy would never do such a thing! Lalo akong di magtitiwala sayo ngayon dahil si Mommy ang iniipit mo rito!"
He sighed again.
"I'm not putting the blame on Tita Elizia. You can ask your brother. Nakausap ko na siya tungkol dito at nakita niya na rin iyon. Kahit siya'y walang ideya kung bakit nandoon ang Mommy niyo."
Posible nga kaya? But why! Mommy has experienced so much pain from them, but she's not the type to rage out and all that!
Gulong-gulo na ang isip ko. Ang daming mga tanong na di ko masagot dahil di ko alam kung paano.
"I promise to get to the bottom of this. I'll find out the truth for you. Pero kahit ano pa ang totoo, hindi ko ididiin ang pamilya mo. I'll try to find a way out of this..." he reached out for my hand and smiled a bit. "That's a promise, Elisse."
Hindi ko alam ang mararamdaman kung sakaling si Mommy nga ang totoong gumawa non. Was Daddy just protecting her, then? Hindi imposible dahil mahal na mahal niya si Mommy.
Is that why she's panicking? Why she seems so out of herself, lately? Why she chose to defend Daddy and get him out of there, because she felt guilty that he took the blame?
Bakit ba ganito? Those four years were peaceful and quiet. Pinapalaki ko lang si Ardie habang nag-aaral ako. Bakit kung kailan ayos na ako sa buhay ko ay ngayon pa dadating ang ganitong problema?
"Prince..."
Nakahawak pa rin siya sa kamay ko. He kissed my hand again, like he would never let go of me again.
"Yes?" tugon niya.
I swallowed hard.
"If the times comes that you find out the truth and Mommy turns out to be the murderer..."
Parang sinasaksak ako sa posibilidad na baka nga totoo iyon. I love Mommy with all my heart, she doesn't deserve all the pain that she's going through. She deserves to be happy.
"I want you to side with the truth. Don't think about me, don't think about what I would feel. Side with the truth. Dahil iyon ang tama."
Nakatitig ang asul niyang mga mata sa akin, bahagya siyang umiling at hinaplos ang mukha ko.
"I can't do that, baby... if it's you versus everything. I'll still choose you. I would do anything to prevent you from getting hurt," mariin niyang sabi.
I scoffed.
"Are you hearing yourself? You mean, you are ready to cover up a murderer for me? Okay lang sayo na hindi makuha ang hustiya para sa mga nawalan, para lang sa akin?"
Hypocrite of me to say that when I wanted his father to defend mine, despite the fact that he is a murderer. Pero sa mga nalalaman ko, parang mas mabuting pumanig nalang sa katotoohanan dahil iyon ang tama.
"Yes," his jaw clenched. "Nothing is right for me, anymore."
"My feelings! Feelings ko lang 'yon, Prince! How about Cairus and Larraine who lost a father? Cairus is your friend. Are you willing to go through these lengths for me, huh? How did you become a lawyer if you think this way!?"
Umiwas siya ng tingin.
"Si Cairus ang nagsabi sa akin na unahin ka bago ang lahat. He's the one helping me out here, so I'll stand by my word..."
Lalong nanlaki ang mata ko. I'm confused! Bakit naman kami tutulungan ni Cairus?
"W-What?"
Hinalikan niya ulit ang likod ng kamay ko at hinawak iyon sa mukha niya. Wala na akong maintindihan.
"There are some things that I can't tell you now, but I want you to trust me. Trust me that I'll do everything to get you out of this. I can use all my connections and I won't stop 'til everything else is back in place..."
Kumunot ang noo ko. Wala sa sarili akong tumango bago niya ako niyakap ng mahigpit.
"If anything happens to me, one day. Please do know that I did it all for you," humigpit pa ang yakap niya sa akin.
Bahagyang nanlaki ang mga mata ko.
"Don't say that!" I cried.
Mahina siyang natawa at pinunasan ang luha ko.
"Why? Scared to lose me, baby?" he kissed my nose and tucked a portion of my hair behind my ear.
No. I'm just scared that Ardie will lose his father.
Kahit pa di ko na siya ipapakilala ay ayaw ko rin namang mawala ang lalaking nagbigay sa akin ng pinakamamahal kong anak.
He made him possible and despite my anger towards him, he gave me the best gift I could ever ask for.
"Just be careful. I don't want to go to a funeral. I don't have new black dresses to wear..." palusot ko at lumunok.
He chuckled and kissed my forehead.
"Damn, baby. Alright. I will be careful, para isang puting gown naman ang suotin mo kaysa sa black..." he smirked.
I looked at him coldly. Kanina ay seryoso kami ngayon ay nagagawa niyang magbiro.
"Masaya ka?" sarkastikong sabi ko at tumayo mula sa kinauupuan ko.
Tumayo siya at pinulupot pa lalo ang mga braso sa akin. The warmth of his touch sent different feelings throughout my whole being. Namiss ko ito, at hindi ko aakalaing hinahanap-hanap ko rin ngayon.
"Sobra... ngayong kasama kita, mas masaya pa ako sa pinakamasaya..." he dropped a kiss on my cheek and swayed me a bit.
Hindi na ako nakasagot at hinayaan siyang yakapin ako. All of this will soon past and once it does, I hope that we'll part ways in a better way and you'll be happy without me.
Nanood kami ng movie, hinayaan kong hawakan niya ang kamay ko na parang bumalik kami sa dati.
He would kiss my hand and chuckle afterwards. Hindi ko mapigilang ngumiti tuwing ginagawa niya iyon. I felt like I'm falling all over again and that's not good.
Ang gusto ko ay lokohin siya gaya nung ginawa niya sa akin. To make him feel that I love him and drop him in the end. Just like how he played me from the start.
Pero dahil sa sinabi niya kanina, na handa siyang isuko lahat para sa akin... it made me feel guilty and rethink my choices. Parang gusto kong mahalin siya ulit at ipakilala si Ardie sa kanya.
Pero hindi pwede, dahil pag ipinakilala ko na anak namin ay wala na akong choice kundi ang pakasalan siya. And I'm still not open with the idea of marriage. Ayoko talagang makasal kahit kailan.
I was traumatized with the idea of it. People cheating and going behind each other's backs... parang walang silbi rin ang kasal kung ganon. It will just bring legal complications in terms of property and children.
He brought me home to our mansion that night, I tried not to say thank you because I'm still keeping up with the cold treatment towards him. I should not let my guard down just yet, kahit pa bumalik na ang pagmamahal ko sa kanya ay ayaw ko pa rin.
"Elisse?" tawag niya bago ako pumasok sa gate.
Lumingon ako.
Ngumiti siya at nilagay ang kamay sa bulsa. He walked towards me shyly. May maliit na ngiti siyang pinipigilan.
"Can I meet him? Your son?"
Umawang ang labi ko.
"Why?" I asked coldly.
He shrugged. "Nothing, I just want to meet him..."
Nanatili akong nakatitig sa kanya. I didn't know what to think.
"He's a part of you, and I want to meet him. He's my nephew after all. He's an Asuncion by blood." he said like a bitter taste in his tongue. "Kahit hindi ako ang ama niya, gusto ko pa rin siyang makilala..."
Hindi ko alam kung nararamdaman niya ba na malapit lang ito sa amin. Ardie's probably asleep in our bedroom and his father is just here. Does he feel that lukso ng dugo thing? Totoo ba talaga iyon?
"I heard his voice when I brought you here, weeks ago. I didn't see him though, mabilis rin siyang tumakbo sa loob kaya di ko na naabutan." aniya at yumuko. "So, if it's okay with you? Can I meet him?"
Humigpit ang hawak ko sa gate.
"T-Tulog na kasi siya..."
He nodded and smiled.
"Okay. Some other time, then."
Sandali kaming nagkatitigan bago niya ako hinila palapit at siniil ang labi ng halik. It was soft and mellow, I kissed back a bit. Bumitaw siya at nakaawang ang labi habang nakatitig sa akin.
"Good night, I love you..." hinalikan niya ang pisngi ko.
"I love..." napatakip ako sa bibig nung mapagtantong muntik ko nang sabihin pabalik iyon.
Nanlaki ang mata niya bago natawa ng mahina at kinagat ang labi.
"I love you too," he kissed my cheek again.
Ngumuso ako bago pumasok sa loob. Nakakahiya! I almost said those three words to him! Masyado akong nadala sa I love you niya!
Ardie was up early for the next day, imbes na gisingin niya ako ay pinagmamasdan niya lang ako sa pagtulog. He's playing with my hair with his small hands. He looks so amazed with my hair while trying to braid it.
"Mommy? How come my hair is not of this color?" he asked when he saw my eyes opened.
I recently changed my hair color to strawberry blonde. Naisipan ko lang iyon dahil matagal na akong di nakakapagpakulay.
"Hmm? It's because it's not Mommy's original hair color, baby."
"You can change hair colors!?" mangha niyang sabi.
I chuckled and pinched his cheeks. He's so cute!
"Yes, baby... you can when you're a little older..."
"Is Daddy's hair like mine, then?" his eyes grew wide a bit in excitement. "I mean, my real Daddy! Not Daddy Troy!" dagdag niya.
I tried not to show a frown and smiled instead.
"You got everything from him, baby. Even your hair color and blue eyes..."
His mouth formed an 'o'. Napangiti ako nung makita ang malawak niyang ngiti na halos kamukha ng ama niya. He's really a mini Prince. My prince.
"I'll wait for him to come home. If Daddy comes home, can I finally go out freely, Mommy?" he grabbed my hand and looked at me with hopeful eyes.
My heart felt hurt for my son. Ngumiti ako at tumango.
"Kuya Joax and Kuya Theo told me that there's lots of beautiful places in the Philippines! I wanna go there, Mommy! But I'll wait till Daddy comes so we can go there as a family!" masayang aniya bago ako hinalikan sa pisngi.
I could see the longiness and wonder in his eyes. I'm sure he'll cry, once he sees his Daddy. Pero mukhang hindi na mangyayari iyon at hindi ko na makikita ang kislap sa mga mata ng anak ko.
It was a selfish thing, but I still stand with my word. Hindi sila dapat magkita. Hinding-hindi.
I'm okay with only Ardie in my life and nothing else could change that anymore.