Fanculo alla Polizia

By loljootishot

30.3K 1.3K 2.1K

After losing her job and the encounter with one too many weirdos, a 19 year old, with both mommy and daddy is... More

Bad Boys
The Shade
The Demons
The Proposal
Mistrust
Hot Napoli
Double Dare
Sweet Leaf
Clear My System
You've Ruined It For Me
Wheels On The Bus
Shut Up And Behave
meth<3 and broken legs
Sorry, I Don't Speak 'Dumb'
leave me alone I'm not emo
nah he tweakin
Yeah, I'm taken. Taken as a joke

Awake And Alive

1.5K 82 272
By loljootishot

"Trust me, you'll be fine." Bucciarati reassured me as he guided me inside the restaurant.

"Mr. Bucciarati." one of the waiters greeted him. He then looked at me, slightly surprised. "(Name)! Haven't seen you around in a while." he said with a kind smile.

I returned the gesture, acting like I didn't just lose my shit right before entering Libbeccio. Bucciarati insisted that I should meet the gang and eventually get on with them before moving in and 'experimenting their animalistic behavior on my own skin'. Maybe he should have warned me about that before accepting me to be part of his team. Not like I had a choice...

Bucciarati had a hand on my back, slightly pushing me forward when I would almost stop walking. He kept doing that until we arrived in one of the private rooms of the restaurant. I mean, he arrived. I decided to stay in the doorway, my nervousness getting the best of me.

The people at the table were loud... Really loud. Two of them were threatening each other while the others had an argument about how awfully tall one of them was. Bucciarati allowed himself to sigh loudly as his presence was getting ignored, while I took a deep breath. He cleared his throat loud enough for the others to hear him and stop talking. They all looked at Bucciarati like he was some kind of God. Basically scared for their lives, probably because they were familiar with his mother-like nature and two-hour long lectures. I'd lie if I said that I didn't get a few of those myself.

"You're so loud I can't even hear my own thoughts..." he mumbled before putting on his big boy face. "I brought here the new member I told you guys about." Bucciarati said as he held out his arm towards me, motioning me to enter the room and stop acting like a little kid. I did pass the doorway eventually and the people I saw... were not the people I expected. "Everyone, this is-"

"(Name)!" a blonde boy shouted as he suddenly stood up, almost knocking his chair over.

"Do you guys know-" unfortunately for him, Bucciarati got interrupted once again by another one of his team members, the one known as Mista.

"S-She's the girl- the lady th-the , FUCK! She's that woman you almost killed me for!" he shouted pointing at Fugo. The two started rambling about how Mista almost lost an eye after Fugo didn't let him say my name for the 5th time in one longass sentence.

My eyes trailed off to the man on the far left, whose features hit me like a bus. Not only was he one tall and scary man, but he was also the ex cop who decided to ghost on me. He looked... so different. His hair grew; a lot, actually. It suited him more than the army buzz cut, to be completely honest. His eyes were wide and so were mine. Neither of us expected the other. Sure, Bucciarati's description was pretty vague, but if I put my mind to it, I could at least imagine that one of his teammates was Abbacchio.

"(Name)..." he hesitantly pronounced my name, like it harmed him in any way. Now, what do people do in a 'my old cop friend watches me silently while I join the Italian mafia and his team' situation?

"Who the fuck is (Name)?!" the more childish one shouted, making Fugo turn at him.

'The woman Bucciarati brought here, you idiot!"

And now three of them were arguing on God knows what while Abbacchio kept looking at me.

"Will you guys be quiet?!" Bucciarati let a shout of his own be heard and they all stopped.

I watched the scene in front of me almost terrified. Two of them looked like they were worshipping me, one seemed to plan an assassination strictly for me and the other one just didn't know what was happening. Neither did Bucciarati. He gave me a confused look before scolding the four.

"What are you? Animals? That's no way to greet a new teammate or a woman! Let me introduce her properly, for God's sake! This is (Full name) everyone! Try to make her less scared of you all, will you?"

Bucciarati sat me down at the table, forcefully, more or less. He took a seat beside me as the table fell silent. I didn't even need to raise my eyes from the wooden table to know that they were all looking at me.

"May I know how you all know who she is? (Name)?" Bucciarati asked us for an explanation.

"She bought me a meal a few months ago. That woman I told you about... it was her." Fugo explained.

"I guess it's not hard to see how kind she is." Bucciarati said as he grabbed my hand under the table, giving it a light squeeze.

"I met her after you sent me to get Fugo for the Caprese mission." Mista admitted himself.

"I have no idea who she is and I'm really confused." said the boy with a headband.

Abbacchio was no longer looking at me. That only made me feel worse. Just why was he acting like that? I personally felt happy to see him after so long. Didn't he feel the same?...

"Abbacchio, do you know her?" Bucciarati asked, seeing that he wasn't going to say anything on his own.

Abbacchio allowed a small groan to escape his lips as he shifted in his seat. Slightly leaning on the table, he supported himself on his elbow. He gave me a look I could not read, which made me worry somehow. Did I do something wrong?

"Unfortunately, I do. We used to...work together." he said, almost like he he had regrets about it.

"I see... Seems like you're quite the star, (Name)!" Bucciarati said, squeezing my hand once more.

"Yeah..." I said absent-minded.

Just what were the chances? This can't be all a coincidence. Or maybe it was? I was really confused, either way.

"Sooo" the headband boy started. "since everyone but me knows you I'll have to receive an explanation, miss."

"Uh..."

"Why didn't you meet me too?! Man, I feel left out!"

I looked at him slightly shocked, not understanding where was he coming from.

"Oh, all right... How about this...? Let's do this thing again. I'm (Name)." I said, holding my hand out for him to take. "And you are..."

He shook my hand excitedly, repeating 'Narancia' over and over again.

"Cut it off, will you!?" Fugo shouted, grabbing Narancia's arm and pulling him away from me. "You could hurt her, you dumbass!"

"Oh, it's fine, Fugo! I can handle it. I used to fight people that were quite the definition of 'strong'."

I couldn't even finish talking because Narancia suddenly shouted "So you think I'm strong?!" with a large grin on his face. I looked at the others and they only smiled as I nodded my head.

"Hey, Bucciarati! Why can't we order some food?" Mista eventually said.

"Because we're not staying. We'll have dinner at home. All of us." Bucciarati responded, checking his wrist watch. "We should probably get going now or I won't be able to cook everything."

And we were off. I was surprised to find out that the car survived 2 whole days and we had a way to get to the mansion. (😀👍) Neither me or Bucciarati expected that.

"(Name) needs to get some stuff for herself." Bucciarati announced the others as he kept his eyes on the road, not wanting to see any of them roll their eyes. "And one of you guys will go with her."

When I tell you that they even stopped breathing when they heard that- needless to say, they didn't want to do it.

"I can go on my own, Bucciarati." I said, hearing all of them sigh relieved.

"I know you can, but I want you guys to be close to each other. You need to become a team before we can go on any more missions." he justified. He did make a lot of sense, which clearly annoyed the boys.

"Narancia should go with her. They never met before." Mista said.

"Hm... You are right..." Bucciarati approved, earning a whine from Narancia. "But I do recall you only talking to her once. Isn't that right, Mista?"

"I-I... It-it's not... I mean... Yes? Kind of?"

"It's settled then! You will both accompany her. And don't you roll your eyes at me! Don't forget that I had to go to the same exact store with each one of you! Just take the money and do as told!" Bucciarati threatened. The boys only approved quietly, probably scared shitless.

He dropped us off at the mall, like we were his children he wanted to get rid of. I've been part of the team for literally one hour and I already felt like the annoying young sibling, for some reason.

"Let's get pizza!" Narancia said, showing the money off.

"Don't hold those bills out like that! What if someone steals it?"

"Yeah! I really need some pajamas!" I said, not wanting to sleep another night in some baggy shirt that didn't belong to my musty self.

"Come on, Narancia! Stop it!" Mista shouted, ready to grab the money from Narancia's hands.

In just a matter of seconds, the money was gone and the boy was left dumbfounded, looking at his now empty hand.

"H-hey! I just had the money! Did you guys see anything?"

Oh, I did. But I was way too busy running away from them as my eyes were fixed on one youngster whose hand was holding the money we were supposed to spend on some dumb shit. I heard the two shout behind me but easily ignored them as I got closer to the boy in front of me. Almost in a cat-like manner, I jump from the ground and on top of the boy, making it impossible for him to move anymore. He tried looking at me and I got a chance to see his features.

"God fucking damn it..." I mumbled as I took the money from the boy and got off of him.

The culprit was none other than the Giorno Giovanna, the 17 year old I somewhat encouraged to pickpocket people since he was shit at robberies. He looked almost as surprised as me, but he made it hardly visible. A more overwhelming feeling was his fear when he saw two weirdly dressed gangsters walking our way, ready to blow some brains out. I knew for some reason that whatever I would've told them about him wouldn't stop them from doing something I would eventually regret. I had to get him out of there.

"Don't let them see you, dumbass! Go!" I advised him as I saw my companions get closer and closer. "Did you hear me, Giorno? I'll scold you some other time. Go now!"

The boy looked at me both confused and scared but eventually left in a hurry, probably scared for his life when he saw Mista pull out his gun.

"Why'd you let them go?! I was about to teach that bastard a lesson." Mista whined, putting away his gun.

"Yeah, no shit! You can bet he saw that, too. Leave him be. It was just a child." I said, slightly glancing in the boy's way. "Let's go already. Bucciarati will get mad if we're out for too long."

"Can we still get pizza?" Narancia asked once again, earning an half-assed 'shut up' from Mista.

We did get pizza.

As we were walking our way home with a box of pizza and bags in our hands; bags that mostly weren't mine; the boys eventually opened a subject that made me pretty uncomfortable.

"So, (Name)..." Mista started. "Has Abbacchio always been this, I don't know... aggressive, I guess?" he asked hesitantly, as if Abbacchio was there to kick his ass if he talked shit.

"How does that information help you?" I asked him back, not really wanting to talk about the man's past.

"Uh, with nothing, really. I just thought that maybe if you two worked together he would've acted differently when he saw you earlier today."

"We were... not that close." I lied. I wasn't about to tell them how I helped the wreck that he was that one night or how I kept a bullet away from his head more than once. It looked to me like he didn't want them to know about me at all, which I didn't know if I minded. It was his choice, after all.

"So what brings you in a gang full of teenagers? You don't look like you're doing that bad."

"Thanks? I somehow managed to lose my job, get locked up and transported to a mental hospital, from where Bucciarati kidnapped me." I informed him, although I didn't even understand the situation myself.

He just looked at me in a weird way. Maybe I shouldn't have told him all that. I didn't want to look crazy or anything.

"I can't believe we all went to jail." he said amused. "Although we never met someone who was kidnapped from a mental hospital. Must've been cool."

"I didn't even get a chance to step inside. He just kind of pulled me into the ground. I bet those cops are still looking for me." I shared his amusement.

"Nah... Bucciarati only needs to make one phone call and you'll be out of their files in less than a minute." Mista assured me.

Now that I was talking about it, it did sound almost unbelievable. I was pleasingly surprised to see that neither Mista nor Narancia were judging me or asking about whatever I did to get to the present point.

"What's your story?" I eventually asked, hoping to get to know them quick enough to actually go on missions with them.

"Bucciarati saved both of us. After he took me under his wing, I knew one thing for sure: I was never going to prison again. Man, it was horrible." Mista said dramatically, as if he had been tortured.

"Shut it, will you? How much were you in there? Like, 10 minutes?" Narancia shamelessly exposed him, making me chuckle slightly.

"It wasn't 10 minutes! I could be traumatized right now, you know?"

"How about being traumatized for a year straight because of some fake-ass friend? Damn... Bucciarati did save my life. If it wasn't for him I would've probably died because of that eye infection."

It was no mystery that they were more than grateful for Bucciarati. He was a good man, after all. Although, like all the gangsters, his hands must've been dirty too. Not even I was innocent anymore. To think that I used to be an actual cop... Just where would I have been if it wasn't for Bucciarati? How could I betray that man after he'd done so much for me? I didn't understand what Risotto had planned one bit. I was way too close to giving him up at the moment. But, to be fair, I was one selfish human being. I was doing this whole thing to get my job back, after all.

I was brought back from my thoughts right when we arrived in front of one massive building. The size of the mansion wasn't that surprising, though, judging by the number of people in the team, but it still felt illegal, for some reason. How could I even step a foot in that fancy-ass place with these weirdos living in it. Man, Polpo really was picking favourites.

The boys walked before me, Narancia casually opening the door with his hip, holding the pizza box in ore hand.

"We brought food, you lost causes!" he shouted and I chuckled slightly at his words.

Mista stepped aside, allowing me to enter first in the spacious living space. It was pretty clear that Bucciarati lived there, as well, since the decor reminded me of the small and welcoming house I spent a few good weeks in.

Leaning on a wall, Fugo looked at Narancia as if he had done something wrong.

"I don't mean to be a pain, but wasn't the money supposed to be for (Name)? Why did you get pizza, again?" he asked the boy, who only now realized what he went to the mall for.

"Oh, that's right... She did get some pajamas!" Narancia said, pointing towards me. "Show him the bag, (Name)!"

Out of seven, or maybe eight bags, I pulled out a small one and showed it to Fugo, as asked. He let out a hum of approval.

"That's good. What else did you get her?"

I can't even describe the deadly look that appeared on his face as he eyed both Narancia and Mista down, almost like he was going to come for their necks.

"Hey, Fugo! There's no reason to jump to conclusions now. She got what she needed. If there's something else she needs, we'll just go and-" Mista tried explaining before Fugo rudely interrupted him by grabbing the bags from his hands and looking at the items inside.

It was needless to say that he was fuming with rage. He kept his tone calm, though, probably in a attempt not to scare the newbie that I was.

"You bought...video games? 23 different ones?"

They both looked terrified as Fugo walked into the kitchen, setting the bags onto the counter, from what it sounded like. He eventually came back, but when he did, he held...a spoon?

"Bucciarati keeps all the knives away from us now. The forks are also pretty boring nowadays. I'll just use this spoon. I believe it's Narancia's favourite." he mumbled, loud enough for the boys to almost piss themselves. "I won't do anything unless I have a good reason to, though. Maybe that filthy lie of yours is actually the truth and maybe she turns out to be very picky, although she doesn't seem to be." said the boy with holes in his suit before giving me a kind look. "May I check those, too?" he asked me. I pursed my lips as I looked back and forth from him to the other two, who were ready to evacuate the room and possibly lock themselves in their bedrooms. I believe that Fugo found out what was in the bags from my silence. He took a deep breath, almost like he was calming down. It looked like it, at least. I was damn wrong. The very next second he launched at the two with a God damn spoon. "I'll take your fucking eyes out! I'll feed them to Abbacchio, you morons! Let's see how you're going to play those video games, you stupid fucks!"

The living room was now filled with Fugo's battle cries and Narancia's and Mista's screaming. 'You can't be serious...' I thought as I watched them fight right in front of me, not giving a shit about how I would react. Fugo certainly wasn't going to take their eyes out, though. Hopefully, not now.

I just kind of stood there, tightening my grip on the bags I was still holding. Just what was I supposed to do? I didn't think about it that much as I basically got between them, in a attempt to get Fugo away from the other two. As I tried my best to get the damn spoon from him, I figured it was useless since he barely acknowledged me there.

Now, I've always wanted to give orders to people, usually hating when I had to follow them. Especially if my superior was an absolute asshole. I guessed that it was my only chance to fulfill my so-called 'dream'.

I took a few steps away from them before straightening my back and inhaling deeply.

"Listen here, you weirdos!" I shouted, making them stop for a second to look at me surprised. "You'll stop this absolute nonsense right now, or else I'll attack all of you with things I didn't know I had in my pocket! Choose your next move carefully because I've been dying to slice people up lately." I threatened.

They looked at me in a way that only showed what I hoped to be fear or anything closed to it, or else I've been destroying my throat for nothing. Fugo started slowly retreating, putting the spoon away. The other two seemed scared for their lives, probably being aware that Fugo was going to go for their necks right after the zone was all clear again.

I fixed my eyes on Fugo, kind of intrigued by his words earlier.

"Does Abbacchio really eat eyes?" I asked with a dumb smile, holding my hand out for him to give me the spoon. He let out a breathy chuckle as he gave me the spoon.

"Not that I would know."

"Sounds about right." I took a second to face everybody. "About our little problem... How about I buy all the stuff I need on my own next time? No more headaches." I suggested.

"That's not fair!" Fugo said, anger towards the two starting to take over him all over again.

"What is?" Bucciarati's voice echoed in the room and all the heads turned in his direction.

He was walking down the stairs with a stern look on his face, eyeing the four of us down.

Oh, we were in trouble.

"Those two spent all the money you gave (Name) on video games." Fugo informed him, to which Narancia gasped.

"Fugo, you snitch!" the boy shouted.

Of course, they started fighting again. I wasn't really sure about what they were trying to do, though. Without the spoon, the scene looked pretty much childish. It wasn't like they were actually going to hurt each other. They seemed to... act like brothers.

"Stop it, you two!" Bucciarati intervened, separating the two. "(Name)! Find Abbacchio and ask him- no, tell him to walk you to your bedroom. I'll handle then."

Cool... Now I had to face him again.

---

This has to be the most chaotic thing I've ever written.

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