11
«True friends stab you in the front»
—Bring Me The Horizon
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Waking up was like trying to benchpress 50 pounds using only her eyelids, a deep heaviness rendering her still on the floor, pinning her limbs in place and eliminating any bodily function.
The first thing she saw through half-cracked eyelids was Jean's face. It was quite jarring, and from what Jo's half-drugged brain could decipher in his expression, he was finding the sight of her lying flat on the floor of abandoned dungeons equally jarring, if not more.
After a good six minutes of slurring incoherent words, traces of the drug started to recede and Jo could finally sit up, every inch of muscle prickling as her senses awakened from their unresponsive state.
Jean kept asking if she was okay, if she had been injured. Jo did not answer. She only stared aghast at the large, gaping crater left in the wall where Eren escaped, the breeze from outside blowing in concrete ash that covered the floor like a dusty carpet.
She expected to feel bitterness, or at least a stinging regret at having been overpowered by the Jaegerists. But she realizes now, as the Levi squad and Hanji near a local restaurant on horseback, that she is filled with nothing but emptiness.
"If one of the Jaegerists was working as a nurse on the medical unit, it would make sense that Eren got a sedative from them. Perhaps chloroform..." Hanji ponders aloud.
"Bastard knew he'd have to drug me otherwise he wouldn't stand a chance." Jo mutters under her breath as they hop off their horses.
"I think it's more than that," Armin says thoughtfully. "Maybe... he couldn't bear to fight you."
Jo disagrees silently. Yes, Armin has a knack for looking at things from a different lens, and its helped bring to light obscured truths before, but this to her just sounds like wishful thinking. It's hard to believe Eren cares about her still. If he did care, he'd stop all this Rumbling crap.
Right?
He wanted to save humanity before. Before they discovered the ocean and other nations. Back in those simpler times, Eren wouldn't deny anyone's right to life. Now he's sacrificing human lives in order to save others. So what changed his mind? I mean, who is he doing all this for?
Himself, I guess. Jo mentally answers her own curiosity.
"Keep an eye out for any suspicious activity," Hanji says as they approach the restaurant's entrance.
They're here to quell what Hanji described as "a hunch" on her part. Revelations about Yelena's true intentions were aired out earlier during an interrogation with Pixis. Her and some of the Marleyan volunteers have been working with the Jaegerists to catapult Eren and Zeke's plan, which mainly involves the Rumbling, into action.
But they've been planning ahead for a long time, allowing for room to get creative. Darius Zackley's death was orchestrated by them. And other facets to this Rumbling scheme are yet to take place, but Hanji thinks she's got her finger on one.
And strangely enough, it's got something to do with the Marleyans working at this luxurious dine-in restaurant.
"Hanji?" Niccolo emerges from the kitchen doors, stepping into the lobby. He takes a gander at all of them. "What are you guys doing here? I'm busy cooking for some important guests..."
"Don't worry," Hanji puts her hands up sheepishly, "we're not here to interrupt your work. We'd just like to have a little chat once you're done!"
Jo watches deductively as a reproachful twitch crosses Niccolo's face. He hesitates, somewhat reluctant.
He doesn't seem particularly happy to see us... she thinks.
"About what?"
"Oh you know," Hanji improvises, not wanting to come off too strong, and starts pulling lame excuses out of her ass. "Just a heart-to-heart. We should catch up and—"
Onyankopon butts in. "It's about how the volunteer soldiers were arrested. We need you to answer some questions."
Niccolo takes the hint and leads them down the decorated halls to an empty dining parlor. Inside are multiple tables with fancy mantles, high-back chairs and two cupboards with an array of different wines on display.
Johanna ambles around. She doesn't know what Hanji is expecting to find here— and the scientist hasn't been cooperative when it comes to explaining what to look for. But hopefully the objective makes sense in Hanji's head. Jo stops at the cupboard and lights a cigarette. She reads some of the labels on the wine, checking for any exotic teas they might have stored in here. Maybe she can tickle Niccolo's generous side and bring some back for Levi.
Hopefully he's doing okay.
"Uh, Jo, can you..." Niccolo awkwardly points at the cigarette resting between her fingers.
Jo pauses, and with a disgruntled sigh, she obliges to his request by smashing the cigarette into the heel of her boot. She tosses it lazily into the nearest bin. Oh well. She's been planning on quitting anyway.
"Whoa! It's that wine the brass won't stop talking about!" Jean picks up a bottle of the shimmering red alcohol, holding it in amazement. "The good shit they only serve high-ranking officers..."
"Don't even think about it, you're on duty." Jo says with a roll of her eyes.
"Aw, come on, Jo. Just cause you're an acting lieutenant while Levi's gone doesn't mean you can kill the fun." Connie whines.
Jean grins excitedly. "Yeah, and don't we rank pretty high in the military? We should get to drink something nice once in a while, right? Just a li—"
"Don't touch that!" Niccolo rushes over and swipes the bottle out of Jean's hand.
An awkward silence falls amongst the group.
"What's the problem? We were just horsing around. Don't take it so seriously..." Jean says with a wary laugh.
Niccolo's face turns sour all of a sudden. "Don't touch it! This stuff is wasted on the likes of you Eldians!"
This statement causes Jo to raise an eyebrow. He was so nice these past few years. What's got him so wound up? And why is he clutching that bottle to his chest so tightly?
Everyone looks at the young chef, affronted.
"Niccolo..." Jean says disappointedly. "You're still saying stuff like that? Where someone's from doesn't matter when it comes to alcohol!" He grabs his collar, seeking out the friendly side of him, as if he can shake the hostility away.
But Niccolo only regards him coldly. "Don't touch me, Eldian."
He roughly puts his hand on Jean's and Johanna instinctively steps closer, her own arm twitching with a left-hook ready in case there's a need for defense. But Jean lets go and nods at her that it's okay. A hurt frown sinks into his expression.
Niccolo immediately leaves the room, departing with the wine. The door swings shut again and they are left to digest that dispiriting interaction.
"Interesting." Jo can't help but mutter.
"Agreed." Hanji says in a thin whisper. "But we can't assume anything yet."
"If you're still feeling woozy, you can sit." Jean says to Johanna, and gestures to a chair.
She looks up at him, looks to the chair, and back. She snorts softly. "No, I'm fine, thank you. You've been so sweet lately. Take a day off."
He shoves his hands in his pocket, sighing wryly. "Well you never take days off for being a—"
"a godsend?" She says before he can jeopardize himself.
He pauses. Sincerity shifts behind his eyes, a tiny smile turning his lips. That's certainly not what he was going to say, but apparently he has no problem agreeing.
"Right. A godsend." He repeats.
Seeing a mild happiness soften his features brings something to mind. Johanna pauses, recalling the eve of the attack on Liberio and how strange he'd been acting. "You know, you never told me why you were upset with me. That night..." she says.
The frown makes an appearance again, and his face is sullied by regret. He scratches the back of his neck. "It was nothing. I'm over it."
Jo throws her head back and groans. "You might as well tell me! Maybe I'll ask Connie, you always air out your shit to him."
Jean immediately panics. "No, no, no— don't ask Connie. It's nothing, seriously."
"Ask me what?" Connie pops up.
Jo already has a sassy remark locked and loaded when suddenly a scream from the other room makes them perk up. Hanji is the first out and they follow, winding up at another elegant dining room suite.
Jo assesses the scene, but there's a lot happening all at once. However, it's obvious that whatever pleasant familial situation they had going on has now taken a sour route: Sasha's family stands tense and horrified while Niccolo occupies the center of the room, a knife brandished menacingly in his right hand, his left arm carrying a knocked out Falco while Gabi grovels weakly at his feet.
"The kid who shot Sasha..." Jean says, shocked.
Jo notices Falco's head bleeding profusely and steps forward. "Why is he—"
"Stay away!" Niccolo whips around. He points the large knife at Falco's throat. "I'm just trying to avenge Sasha— that's all I want!"
"Leave Falco out of this, please!" Gabi pleads.
Niccolo looks down at her, overtaken by insanity. "Is this brat special to you? Well I had someone special, too. A dirt-blooded Eldian, a descendant of devils! A woman who enjoyed the food I cooked more than anyone I'd ever met! She saved me from this shitty-ass, pointless war! She showed me that the person I'm meant to be is a man who brings people happiness through cooking! Her name was Sasha Braus, and YOU STOLE HER FROM ME!"
Gabi lifts her chin up indignantly. "I've lost people too! Your Sasha Braus shot two friends of mine! She gunned them down as they tried to protect me!" Her voice cracks tearfully, "She's the one who started it!"
"SHUT THE HELL UP!"
"Niccolo," Jo warns as the knife moves perilously against Falco's throat.
But Gabi continues, "Wake up! You're a Marleyan soldier! That she-devil must've bewitched you somehow! We can't let the devils win!"
Mr. Braus extends his hand. "Niccolo, give me the knife."
For a moment it is unclear what his motives are. Jo holds her breath, ready to leap forward on any rash movements. Mr. Braus inspects the knife thoughtfully, his face grim and hard.
Hanji raises a nervous hand. "Listen, Mr. Braus, this isn't right. Please drop the knife... or— or just set it down..."
"... I raised Sasha to be self-sufficient." He says suddenly.
They stagger at the sobriety of his tone. But he continues and they listen, hanging on every word.
"I taught her how to use a bow when she was young. Before long, she could hunt for food in the forest. The forest was our way of life... and we didn't ever want to give it up. But after Maria fell, I knew we'd have to change with the times or die with our old ways. So I sent Sasha to join civilization. Then... the world just kept getting bigger. Sasha left our forest and island behind to fight some distant enemy. To shoot and get shot. Thing is... she left our forest, but it turns out she just traded it for a bigger one. The same rule of kill or be killed still applied. I reckon Sasha died because she wandered in that forest for too long." He carefully passes the knife to his wife, who turns sorrowfully and places it on the table.
He sighs, the wrinkles in his brow deepening, "We've got to get our children outta the forest. Or else the cycle will simply continue."
He looks at Niccolo, the young cook left in a stupor by his wise words. "I say, when it comes to shouldering the sins and hatred of the past, that burden should fall to adults like you and me."
Mrs. Braus speaks up in a gentle voice, "Please, Niccolo. Let Ben go now."
Choking down a wet knot in his throat, a wave of shame threatening to drown him, Niccolo slowly releases his hold on "Ben" aka Falco, and the Braus family lowers the boy to the floor. As Niccolo sways with delirium Jean and Connie help him steady, the two unable to hide their scorn at the chef's actions.
Jo kneels and takes a look at Falco's head injury. It appears to be embedded with bits of glass. She lets out the smallest, most feeble of sighs. She's got to stay level-headed and sharp. But her heart is heavy with the truth of Mr. Braus's words.
Children... are being raked into the sorrows of this unforgiving world. The brutality of human kind is taking its toil on the young. As someone who grew up lost and wandering, and joined the military corps in foolish hopes to find fulfillment, Jo's experienced brutality first-hand. They all have. And when she really thinks about it, her and her friends are as much children as Falco and Gabi.
Children masquerading as soldiers.
Her gaze unintentionally trails over the Braus kids. The three of them stand together huddling and quivering.
Wait... she realizes, weren't there four?
Gabi lets herself be comforted by Mikasa, seeking out the Braus parents' kindness. "I don't understand... you really don't hate me?"
Jo catches a flutter of a pink dress racing across the floorboards. Her heart stops.
"MIKASA!"
The Ackerman's reflexes save the day— Mikasa raises a rigid hand and catches the fourth Braus's wrist, the clutched knife in her little plump hand hovering dangerously close to Gabi's skull.
All eyes fall on the little girl in the pink dress, her bloodshot eyes staring Gabi down with utmost loathing. The room is eerily quiet except for her labored breaths.
Gabi stutters, "K-Kaya...?"
Kaya's face twists horribly as her parents yank her away, kicking and screaming in a fit of grief. "You killed my sister! How dare you say my name! I thought you were my friend!"
Hanji lowers herself next to Jo. "Get Gabi out of here."
Jo nods and the rest is a blur consisting of multiple sobs filling the room, both from Niccolo and the members of Sasha's family. When Jo blinks she's already somehow pulled Gabi out of the intimate, mournful scene with Armin and Mikasa at her heels.
What a shit-show this has been... she thinks.
"In here," Mikasa says and opens another door further down the hall.
They shuffle in and advise Gabi to sit. The child does as told, rather numb and robotic.
It seems she's realizing the world isn't black and white... Jo thinks.
Mikasa gently inspects Gabi's punched face. "Let me see..."
Jo volunteers, "I'll get some ice for that."
She leaves the room, the door clicking softly behind her. The sound of urgent footsteps alerts her.
"What's going on..." She spots Hanji and Jean in the middle of carrying Falco's limp body into a wash room.
"Zeke's spinal fluid is in the wine!" Hanji informs over her shoulder, "Don't go anywhere near that stuff!"
Jo struggles to digest this information. Spinal fluid... in the wine? The fancy imported wine that high-ranking officials have been drinking for the past month? That means... a good chunk of their military is at risk of being turned into titans...
Eren... she thinks to herself, why are you doing all this... what is it for?
It takes her 2 minutes to find the kitchen thanks to every door being labeled respectively in bronze plating. She steps inside, checks around and seeing no one she follows the dull humming of the ice machine until she finds it. Picking up a random clean bowl she fills it up with ice and a splash of cold water. She spots a small white towel and grabs it so Gabi can wrap the ice in it and press it against her face without it stinging. It's not much... but hopefully this will be enough to reduce the swelling.
Jo turns—
"Don't make a sound."
— and drops the bowl, shattering on the floor.
Eren stands a few feet from her. The sight of him shuts down her lungs, his unexpected presence elevating her pulse.
His hand is raised, the palm open to show a bleeding cut. He takes a nonplussed glance down at the shattered ceramic.
His mouth is stiff, somewhat displeased but not surprised. "Should've known you don't follow directions easily."
Jo heeds the dripping blood on his hand. He can transform at any moment he wants. Back in the good old days, the mere thought of him endangering her with his power was laughable. But now...
She can't be too sure.
He steps closer, the bits of ice crunching under his shoes.
"Lead me to Armin and Mikasa."
A small scoff precedes her reply. "What? No magic word?"
"Now." His frown deepens as he approaches. "And if you try anything—"
"I know, I know— you'll kill me, it'll be ugly— I've heard the villain routine before." She drones saltily.
As she turns he holds both her wrists behind her back, ensuring that no sudden movements will go undetected. She starts leading him out the door.
"Never thought I'd hear it from you, though." She adds lowly.
To this, he doesn't reply. His expression, however, seems weighed down once they arrive at the room.
Johanna waits for him to open the door. But it doesn't happen right away.
"What? Getting cold feet?" She says.
Sneaking a glimpse out of the corner of her eye, his face is overwrought with distant forlorn.
"Do you really think I'm the villain?" His voice is dead as a gravesite.
Johanna hesitates. She didn't expect him to react.
"Give me one good reason why I should think otherwise, Eren."
He pauses and chooses his words carefully. "Something... bad happened."
Jo can't help but roll her eyes a little, more disappointed than irritated. Why can't he just make sense? Is this the best he can do?
"Everything bad that's happened, has happened because of you." She whispers to the door, her wrists still held in place behind her, copiously aware of his body heat radiating against her. "Liberio, Zackley's murder, and now this fiasco with the wine—"
"No. Not that. Nothing like that." He interrupts with eyes closed in desperation, as though his brain is painting a heart-wrenching memory known only to him. "Something really bad. You..."
The rest of his sentence disappears in the air, traces of what he wished to say hanging indecipherable between them.
Jo waits. "What?" Her silver eyes, piercing and austere under the warm restaurant light, lock with his dispassionate ones. The fact that he didn't continue causes a dash of alarm and a suspicious gut feeling.
"Eren... I, what?"
"Forget it."
And then he shoves the door open.
Armin, Mikasa, and Gabi's conversation reaches a screeching stop. Their faces pale.
Armin takes note of how Eren's holding Jo. His brows furrow in innocent confusion. "Ere—"
Eren shows his cut hand. "Sit."
That severity is back in his voice. They obey, slightly affronted and disbelieving. Jo feels a sharp nudge on her back and she takes it as her cue to sit with the rest.
She circles the table and takes the seat next to Gabi with a stiffness in her muscles that she can't shake away. She doesn't know why Eren wants to talk to Armin and Mikasa, but she doubts its to wave a peace flag and make flower crowns.
Gabi trembles in her seat. Jo silently sympathizes but doesn't say anything. The young girl talked so big when it came to Eren— saying she'd make him suffer. The reality is much different.
"Hands on the table." Eren orders.
They exchange looks of disbelief. Nevertheless, you don't really question someone wielding titan-shifter powers.
Eren takes a seat as well. And for a long moment it is uncomfortably quiet. Jo keeps her composure collected and her bottom lip screwed shut, choosing instead to focus on the blood from Eren's hand as it corrupts the white table cloth.
"I want to have a nice, calm talk." Eren finally announces, lacking the decency to even look at them. "We don't need to fight to solve Eldia's problems. Don't worry about Hanji and your friends, we're just moving them somewhere else, that's all."
Jo can't help but notice his word choice there. Your friends... like they're foreign to him.
"We've also wanted to talk to you." Armin says, a little relieved. He leans forward in desperation, "Why did you attack Marley on your own? Did Zeke and Yelena convince you to join them?"
The four of them are forced to wait for an answer. Eren seems to have existentially lost himself in the stitching of the table cloth.
Finally, his lips part. "I'm free."
This catches Jo's attention. She listens, eyes narrowed.
"No matter what I do or how I do it, I'm acting of my own free will."
Armin's forehead creases skeptically. "Even what you did after meeting with Yelena? That... was your own free will?"
"No," Mikasa interjects. "You're being manipulated."
Eren spares her a tired look.
"You'd never get innocents or children involved, even those from enemy nations. And you care about us more than anyone else!" She implores, rising from her chair and leaning on the table, "Am I wrong? When you saved me in the cabin, back when we were kids! You wrapped this scarf around me because you're a kind per—"
"Hands on the table. Don't make me say it again." Eren growls.
Mikasa resists flinching at his tone. But she meekly obeys and sits again, hands on her lap. Jo can't help but be affronted. She's never witnessed Eren be so cold towards his childhood friends. It almost seems like a sick farce.
Eren resumes, "When I was in Liberio I spoke with Zeke. He knows more about Titans than us. Armin you're still seeing Annie, correct? Is that your own free will?"
Now, this is news to Jo. "You're seeing Annie?" She repeats.
Armin stutters in embarrassment. "What— What are you—"
"If memories dictate who we are, then part of you has become Bertholdt— an enemy soldier in love with another of our enemies. Armin... he's taken over your brain. You're the one being manipulated." He chastises.
Mikasa gives a noise of objection. She looks between her two friends frantically, "Eren, what are you—"
"You're no better." He snaps. "The Ackerman family was formed to protect the king of Eldia. The day I saved you, you obeyed my orders in a life or death situation. Fight. You're instincts were awakened. Ever since then you get impulses to protect me."
"That's not true!" She refuses.
"When an Ackerman's power awakens, they supposedly experience sudden headaches. It's because their original self is trying to fight the Ackerman compulsion of protecting the host." Eren rebuttals. "Sound familiar?"
Mikasa's eyes go round and frightened.
"Bullshit." Jo speaks up, her voice slicing like sharp ice. "I'm an Ackerman, I've never experienced any of this stuff you're talking about."
Eren glares at her. "You're a quarter Ackerman, it's not—"
"Oh so we're measuring like it's a recipe now?" She scoffs.
"Alright, since you're so skeptical. Ever wonder why you've stuck with Jean for so long?" He challenges. "He might be a good person now, but he wasn't always such a saint. I don't think I need to remind you, but he sure was a self-centered piece of shit in our training years!"
"Don't bring him into this!" She grits her teeth.
"You were always defending him even when you knew he was in the wrong. I remember seeing you two parade around together and not understanding it. Well, I guess I do now." His jaw visibly clenches. "Johanna, just admit that you turned a blind eye to his flaws because you had an unnatural bond stemming from your Ackerman dna!"
His words sting like hot metal. She hesitates, incredulous. "He was all I had. Before you, before my father, he was all I had!"
Mikasa seeks reason again. "Eren, why are you saying these things..."
"Because there's nothing I hate more than people who aren't free. You're no more than cattle." He says.
"Eren," Armin warns.
"Just the sight of you made me sick." Eren continues, drilling into her gaze, "Mikasa, ever since we were kids. I've always hated you."
The table shudders under Armin's weight as the blond boy lurches over, clawing savagely at Eren. "HOW DARE YOU—"
And then there's a slam. And Mikasa is holding him down.
A split second of confusion. Not even Mikasa seems to register what she's done.
"See?" Eren remarks blandly. "You're strung along by the whims of your Ackerman blood."
Mikasa steps back, tears streaming down her chin.
Rage flashes across Armin's exterior. He lets out a furious yell.
Jo instinctively jumps out of her chair and pulls Gabi back, the whole table tipping sideways as Armin flings himself at Eren in a violent blow Jo didn't know he was capable of.
Eren bounces back, unfazed. The two engage in a brutal fight that can only be summarized by callous hits, bloody knuckles, and hatred.
Except Armin is the one taking most of the penalty.
"Mikasa!" Jo urges the girl closest to the two young men. But she's stuck rooted to the spot, fresh tears landing beneath her on the carpet.
Eren easily slams Armin into the cupboard, several plates falling and smashing on his head.
Two Jaegerists burst into the room with rifles held at the ready. "Mr. Jaeger!"
Waving them off dismissively, Eren towers over Armin's frail body. "Hey Armin. You know how we've never fought before?"
Armin straightens up again. His face morphs into disgust and he throws another punch— missing.
"Wanna know why?" Eren snarls, and starts pulverizing him with a series of uppercuts. "Because you and I could never have a fair fight!"
The sound of Armin's bones fracturing is enough to spur Johanna into action— she tries to pull Eren away, but the two Jaegerists clamp their grips on her.
"Eren, stop! This isn't you!" She begs and fights against the two men. But she's too distracted by Armin's crippling form to do anything other than struggle. All she hears is crunch, crunch, crack.
Suddenly the butt of a rifle rams into her face and she feels a splitting pain on her lip. She goes slack, falling to the floor with a hand over her mouth, hissing at the pain.
"That'll teach you to be quiet." One of the Jaegerists says, proud of himself.
Eren hears this and he looks up, snapping out his mania. He gives the soldiers a dirty look. "I'll handle her. Get out."
The two retreat sadly like dogs with their tails between their legs. Jo spits out a little a blood. It could've been worse. Thankfully no teeth popped out.
She quickly rushes to Armin now that Eren has stopped. The boy lies on the floor weakly, hacking and groaning. She looks up at her former lover with immeasurable scrutiny. "Are you proud of yourself?" She tells him.
"If you guys tell me where Zeke is, then we won't need to fight." He says.
Johanna discreetly bites her tongue. Other than Hanji, she's the only one that was told where Zeke's location is, mainly because she demanded to know where her father would be stationed.
But she doesn't plan on laying down a trail of breadcrumbs to lead Eren there. No way.
"Come to think of it," Eren raises an eyebrow, "You probably know. The Corporal is dear to you, after all."
"Believe it or not, he wasn't willing to tell me." She lies swiftly.
He doesn't buy it, chuckling. "That's likely."
Eren takes a gander at all of them, including Gabi, who's done an expert job at blending in with the wall.
"You're all coming with me."
Armin wipes his bloody nose, slowly being helped to his feet by Mikasa and Jo. "Where?"
"To where it all began... Shiganshina."
END OF CHAPTER 11