The aftermath
Sameer looked upto see Aisha along with Raghu sir rushing towards them, their footsteps echoing in the empty hallway.
The drive till the hospital was a blur for all of them. He would not say this to anyone, but the way they found Riya, and when she went unconscious, he felt as if she won't make it. And his hunch was proven right, as per the MEs her heart gave up two times before they stabilized her.
He side eyed his best friend cum Boss who had a permanent blank look on his face. Only his tightly clutched fingers gave away his internal turmoil. Riya had went through a lot, and so did he. Sameer hoped one day Riya knew and realized his friend was in this too.
"Hey," He stood up to greet Aisha, her fingers curled around his arm in panic, "They are still operating on her." He shifted his glance to give a nod to the senior officer, and noticed how Raghu sir stared at Arjun.
"How is she?" He asked. Sameer opened his mouth to answer, but Arjun beat him to it, even though his eyes were still staring into nothing and his frame was frozen.
"There was a lot of blood. She almost beat Sahay to death." Sameer had informed this to Aisha when he made the call. Uncharacteristically, she let out a curse at that, even though both of them expected nothing less than this. Riya always jumped right into storms, and Neel Sahay was her biggest kryptonite. She would do everything in her power to end this, of course.
"Her heart gave away twice." Sameer whispered, looking at concern as Aisha's eyes filled with tears, lowering her head to control her emotions.
"She needs some rest. She will wake up when it's time." This time, Arjun raised his head. The look in his eyes- warning, despair, anger, fear- made them all pause. A strange silence followed and Sameer felt everyone's gaze on his friend.
The second in command proceeded to stare at the floor once again, and nobody spoke a word post this.
(But when the two were alone in the dead of night, he confessed to Sameer, his best friend and his brother, "If she don't make it, Sam . . . if she don't, I will hunt Neel Sahay. I don't care where Rahane has kept him, I will walk in and put a bullet between his eyes. End his story like he has ended hers.
Sameer did not doubt his vow, and felt himself nodding, and praying that it don't come to it. As it turned out, a world without Riya Mukherjee was not something any of them can get through.
"And I will be with you, Brother. I will do the same.")
ACP Riya Mukherjee, ETF officer and heir to a billionaire woke up three days after lots of complications. At first, she did not want to wake up. Her mind had somehow sealed away the experience she had when she was taken, or when Neel had purposely hurt her, or the last bloodbath. She did not want to wake up to a world of hurt, not again.
But she did, and immediately frowned at the person sitting in front of her.
"Hello, at last." Her voice was rough and probably needed water. Her body was mostly likely covered with bruises and bandages so much that the morphine was high enough to make her dizzy, but it was all worth of his face. Her Boss, Arjun Rawte, sat in a chair in front of her, smiling wide which she mimicked unconsciously.
"Took you long enough." He replied, and even though they were always about putting levity into serious situations and had heavy conversations at night, she could see his eyes- happy, warm, relieved.
She hummed, glancing at the room, "Is it my Father's money?" It was a private ward and she could feel the silence around her. For a moment she panicked, thinking about her Grandmother, but at the shake of her Boss's head, she calmed down.
"Generosity of Rahane and his department." Arjun was really out of it in the last three days, but even he could feel a variety of people walking in and out of hospital, or calling his team mates to ask about Riya's condition. The moment she was out of OT, the doctors took her to this lavish private room. He had heard Aisha whispering to others that it was all thanks to Rahane's boss, Dubey. Apparently he was impressed and thankful to Riya, and this is how he decided to repay.
"Huh." Riya let out, her eyes feeling heavy. She smiled at herself.
"What is it?" Arjun asked, and she struggled to keep her eyes open, just to look at him in for longer time.
"I don't sleep. I can't sleep. But I sleep now." She chuckled again, but did not fight as her eyes fell shut. Even when she was almost unconscious, she could feel his smile, how he moved close and ran his palm over her hair, down to her cheek.
"Then sleep." Her mind took the permission and she drifted into darkness once again.
The next time she opened her eyes, it was not someone she was hoping to see.
"You are the last person I thought I will see." She said slowly. On the other side, Rahane sat on the same chair Arjun sat- she was not sure how long ago, and in a way she did not really care.
He crossed arms over chest, "Is that an insult or compliment?"
She shrugged, trying to sit up. Rahane was beside her in a lighting, adjusting her pillow and holding her carefully as she leaned behind. Such a small action, and even though she felt no pain, her heartbeat gave away her tired her whole body was. She was not used to feeling so weak, and did not like the feeling, exhaling a sigh of impatience.
"Unlike me, you can't just walk out of this right now." He gave her an once over as he stood near her, hands in his pocket, "You need healing." In a lot of ways, but he did not say that. From the look on her face she understood the hidden words, nodding at that.
"He is in custody. We are making papers. We had a lot of meeting in the last 4 days." Riya looked at him in surprise, "Yes, 4 days. Someone said you will wake up when you are ready, and he were right, I see."
She wondered who that person was, but she did not feel ready at all,. Pushing aside thoughts, she looked at his sternly, her voice steel, "Is it over?"
He nodded, sighing in relief, "It is."
"Haqqani?"
"He is going to stay here for a long, long time." And he will enjoy the interrogation. There is no Anita Desai to stop him now.
"You can go to his grave now." He jerked at the words, "Jackson Horatio Harper."
"You remember?" He was surprised. It felt like a lifetime ago that he carried his friend's coffin, stood in front of his family, promised the ACP that he will shield the people she cared about.
Riya closed her eyes, head falling on pillow, "Though nothing can bring back the hour
Of splendour in the grass, of glory in the flower;
We will grieve not, rather find
Strength in what remains behind " She remembered the poem in his grave, how Rahane said one day his fate will be like this. At least nobody died in this giant, colossal fuck up. The Agent stared at her in wonder, then shook head to clear his thoughts. The ACP was unexpected and different, since the first time they met.
"We cracked Neel's laptop too." He spoke in a rush, the next moment chastising himself at the tone as the former flinched. Softening his words, he added, "Got a lot of evidences about their plan."
"I know a bit too. Will file it in reports."
"It can wait, you rest." At that, she cracked a smile.
"So generous, are not you?" He narrowed his eyes at her in mock- offense, then she was coughing. He immediately reached out for the glass of water and handed it over, and watched the water falling all over her hospital gown. Looking through the drawers, he cursed when he found no tissue papers. Making his mind to give the nurses and wardboys a piece of mind, he ran outside.
When he moved back, his feet paused at the door. Director Kapoor and the senior officer, Rathore was beside the ACP's bed. The woman fussed over her, dabbing tissue over her wet dress as the officer stood amused. He said something and the Director glared at him with no heat, but before she could say something the ACP laughed, the room echoing with a sound Rahane had never heard before. Rathore and her pumped their fists, and the Director shook head at the two, then sat beside her on bed and asked, their fingers interlinked.
She had a lot of people who cared about her. He was not needed.
Riya's eyes met the agent's as he stood outside. He gave a final nod, which she returned, with a small smile on her lips.
Goodbye.
Rahane threw the tissue papers on his way out.
Riya was order at least a month of bed rest and no straining physical movements post another month, and nobody consulted her when the ETF team, with the blessing of her Grandmother decided she is better suited in hospital. Every single day someone from ETF visited her- Shree fixed her phone and gave an official tablet so that she can play game and don't get bored, there were unlimited supplies of food from others till nurses started to ask if there was any need for lunch, dinner or breakfast for the VIP patient. Everyone collectively decided there should not be any mention of cases, or what happened back in lodge. That left very little room for conversation, and surprisingly it resulted in Riya getting to know a lot about her team mates.
Like for example Shree, despite being the cousin of Arjun Rawte, left in a Men's PG. His roommate stank and took his clothes without asking but the guy had a graveyard shift, and he got the room in night, hence he never thought about changing the place. Sameer had, unofficially, moved in with Aisha. He had his things there and none of them spoke about it. The maid in Director Kapoor residence is working overtime these days thanks to Riya, making extra food everyday which was especially supervised by the two. Arjun Rawte had an apartment, fully paid by his own money. He never took work home, played soothing music the moment he stepped in to calm himself down. Chotu still lived in his childhood house, in slum with his Mother. He had crush on this girl who used visit a PCO everyday at 11.30 am, but it turned out she was in love with someone else and used to talk to him. Chotu shrugged when he narrated that story, should have seen that coming.
Between hourly check ups and appearances from ETF members, there was not much to think about what happened to her which led her to this hospital, so it took her by surprise when the break down actually came.
Showering was a challenge- both for her and the nurses. The latter wanted to help as she was too weak and would not know if stitches came out, the former was stubborn to do it her own. She had spent more than two decades of her life on this earth and bathed herself, she won't let anyone to help, especially now that she had physical evidences of the war all over her body. She wont want anyone to see, pity or gossip about it.
Two weeks after her hospital stay, the nurse had finally given up, grumbled and left the ACP all alone in the bathroom. Riya moved out of her hospital gown carefully, extra cautious not to meet her eyes in the mirror- she knew she looked like shit. Once the dress was off, her fingers traced over the scar on stomach- it was the main culprit. The doctors said the hasty patch up led to infection and they had almost lost her.
She did not want to think how she almost died twice and would not be standing here unless there was some miracle.
Sighing, she looked up- and it was the mistake. The bullet wound on her left side, she had forgotten all over it. Did not even feel when it hit her.
When he shot her.
Her wide, scared eyes looked back at her from mirror, there was no escape from this trap her mind and body had put her in. She did not feel her walking backwards, or the scalding hot water running all over her. All she could think about Neel. Scream about him. She bit down on her hands to stop screaming, feeling an onslaught of mental breakdown was coming and trying to prevent. Her whole body shook and she struggled to breath, and she leaned on the wall to calm herself down. It's all over- she repeated to herself, she was all away from him, probably will never see him, and it was truly over. And yet she was back in that room of Ravi lodge, spending nights agonizing over him, and the very place where she almost beat him to death.
She looked down on her hands- bandaged, now wet, bloody and bruised. She had loved him, once upon a time. A lifetime ago. And she hit him, hurt him. Rahane did not tell her how he was, nor she cared about him in that particular moment. Her heart beat fast- what if she had permanently damaged him somehow? Will he be okay? And then she put her head in her palms in shame, cowering into herself. Why the fuck should she care? He is a terrorist, he committed treason. Why the fuck would it matter if her blows had damaged him somehow? If he lost an eye, broke his nose, or damaged his arms till its irreparable?
She wanted to ask someone, ask him. Scream at him, beg him- why would you do it? Did you ever think about me? Was I a mean to an end, all these time? She wanted to ask him, this time without any pretense. She hates him, she loved him, and yet questions wont stop. How can she ask him, how can she ask someone else? What would they think- pathetic mess of a woman, who always showed how strong she was. But look at her, still having feelings and asking about her boyfriend. Weak!
Nobody will understand. And she won't ask.
So when Arjun Rawte burst through the washroom door, covered her in a big towel and ushered her outside, the panicked nurse in tow as she looked on, Riya stayed quiet and asked nothing.
Arjun felt strangely calm in that moment.
He knew this was coming- trauma has a way of showing and she was handling it for so long, absorbing it so that she can go through another day. Now that it was all over, she had to feel it. His heart ached thinking about her, what he saw- her shivering under hot water, head down and teeth sunk into hands as she tried not to scream. When he pulled her away and covered her, she did not move, did not even look up.
He never saw her like that, and never wanted to. And he knew there was nothing he could do to free her from the trap her mind put her in. He can whisper comforting words, be near her, look out for her health. But once again, it was her war. She needed to overcome it.
The nurse had changed bandages and dried her, and put her in a big fluffy white robe. Riya walked in, head hung low and quietly sat on the bed. The nurse gave one look at the ACP, and left the two alone.
Arjun hesitated, but brushed it off and took her hand. It was still shaking slightly, and by now her fingers had become cold and numb to touch. The skin over her finger tips had become wrinkly and his fingers rubbed over them gently, "It's okay. It's okay."
She looked away, her hair obscuring her face. But he wont let her hide this time- brushing away her hair, he cupped her face and made her turn. She obliged, but still won't look at him.
"You can talk. You should talk." He whispered and seeing her face almost made him choked up, "Director Kapoor can help. She was your friend, she is your friend." At the mention of her name, she shook her head.
"Why?"
"My mistake. My responsibility." She answered after a while, her voice hoarse. He could not help chuckle brokenly- even after all this time, she will look out for others. Not burden them with her issues.
"That's not how it works sweetheart." He gently tucked her hair behind ear, "So many people have come forward to help. They all share this journey, this grief, this relief. Maybe partially, but you can try. You should." At her shake of head, he sighed, "What about someone else? Outside this circle."
Her eyes narrowed, lips almost curling upwards, "Do you mean a psychologist?"
"Maybe. A therapist. Department appointed, or someone else." He spoke impatiently, and when her face became blank again he sighed, leaning forward until their forehead touching, "Anyone. Just do it. Let it out."
He moved away after a long time, and saw the familiar expression on her face- curious, thankful, warm and something else. Like she had figured a thing out and looking at him in amazement. He wanted to ask, and at the exact same time his phone chimed.
Duty called.
Two months later, ACP Riya Mukherjee had rejoined the ETF team. It was the third day and some paper work needed to be done, and once again the others had decided she was not fit for venturing outside. So she was sent to Dr. Liza's lab as an excuse to fetch forensic report on the latest case, and Riya rolled eyes as she informed the Dr. Word by word what Director Kapoor told her. Liza almost laughed, then looked at the ACP- the bruises had faded from her face, her hand was still covered in a light bandage. Her face looked like she was exactly like before- flippant, sarcastic, attentive at everything. But the eyes . . .
The eyes looked faraway. As if she was not even here. As if she had aged a thousand years.
Liza was mostly in lab and doing paperwork in the aftermath of Ravi lodge massacre (that's what Sameer Rathore called it and they all had picked it up) and could not go to meet the ACP, but spoke on phone and sent flowers through Shree. She wanted to apologize, and yet she could not look her in eye. Apart from Director Kapoor, nobody knew how to behave with the ACP. Shree and Chotu stood away as if to give space, Sameer spent more time in files than speaking to her, Arjun Rawte looked in sympathy and cautious as if the ACP was about to hurl something at wall. Director Kapoor behaved and talked to her like she used to- sarcastic, warning against any stunts, giving mounts of paperwork and exchanging verbal wars. Maybe she did not know how else to behave, or this was her way to hover near her friend. But there was this giant size Neel Sahay hole around them, and the more they ignored it and avoided it, the bigger it grew.
ACP Mukherjee muttered something about 'Babysitting duty' and Liza started laughing. There was this strange relief in the former's eyes and the Dr. Decided enough of hiding. They both took solace in what was in front of them- a bag of bones. Hours later, Liza had got the mail about the bone's DNA and possible dead person it belonged to and forwarded the mail to Director.
"Now it's your turn. Fine out how or why he died and get the culprit." The Dr. Turned to the ACP who looked down at the floor with a strange look on her face.
"Might not be around for that." The former frowned at that and the ACP looked up, shrugging in response to her silent question.
"Why?"
"Thinking to leave." Liza sat down on a nearby chair in shock at the reply. For a few moments, she just opened and her closed her mouth to say something but no words came out. Holy shit, she thought to herself. ACP Riya Mukherjee was leaving, and she was probably the first one to know. What she do- tell others to stop her? Convince her herself? Freak out?
"Why?" All she could do was repeat her question. Riya gave a small smirk at that.
"It was the original plan all along. When it all . . ends." Her hands gestured.
"I thought the plan has changed." The former did not reply for a long time, lost in thought. Liza almost chewed her nails in tension, but then the ACP jerked up as if coming back to reality, her old flippant look was back.
"I definitely need a vacation, hospital visit don't count. Might as well do it now- the paper work is pending."
"Does anyone know?" Liza knew the answer but asked anyway. She did not know what to think when the former shook her head in No.
"When are you coming back?" Or If.
Riya did not reply.
Goodbyes are the hardest- Riya will know it. She had mastered the art of leaving, starting over, and leaving again. But this one hurt the most- Aisha was crying her heart out, and she felt her own eyes getting warm.
She wondered why she does this to herself, hurt people. Enter their lives, turn it upside down. And then like a coward, leaves without any trace. Only to resurface again. Sravan bhai did have a point, she realized it then. She is selfish- and in that moment she wanted to be anything but that.
Riya glanced outside at the team mates- ACP Rawte was nowhere to be seen the moment she told them she was leaving. Sighing, she crouched down and held onto her best friend's hands. Aisha gripped them tightly in response.
"I understand. I understand why you feel the need to leave." Aisha started, her voice surprisingly strong, "You want to be away, go over what happened. Take responsibility, try to put it to rest, for the final time." She looked into her eyes then, "But I also know that you walk out of that door, and that will be the last time I will ever see you."
"That's not true." The ACP whispered softly.
"It is! I did not even know you were in this city until Raghu sir made you come back."
"I will send you post cards." Riya joked, and was met with a semi glare from her friend cum boss. She reached out to brush away her tears but Aisha caught her wrist.
"Why you want to leave?"
"Cause I can't breathe, Aisha." The former confessed, looking down as to not show tears streaming down her face, "This city was my home. I left everything to be here. It gave me everything- career, friend, love. Embraced me like I was it's own. But now I look outside and I feel nothing. It doesn't feel like home."
Neel had tainted everything in this place. Every memory, every people, every place had his mark now. Her own co-workers treated her like she was a glass doll, ready to break. Of course she had given them reason to- she was weak, she had no energy left to fight anymore. So flight it is.
Sniffing, she quickly wiped her tears and looked at Aisha, expecting a response. They both knew nothing could stop her now what she had made up her mind, but Riya still looked at her expectantly.
"You will message me everyday." Her voice was strong.
"Done."
"Tell me where you are. Just a location. Everyday."
"Okay."
"Don't be a stranger." Her voice broke again and tears fell. This time, Riya was allowed to wipe them away.
"Never."
Goodbyes are the hardest, and Riya Mukherjee had went through them somehow. But her eyes searched for her boss, her friend, her almost- he probably would not give this to her. She had made him suffer enough so this is her punishment, she accepted it. She walked into the conference room for the last time, tracing her fingers lightly over the big round desk and his chair.
When she looked up Arjun Rawte stood at the door. No words were exchanged, and she ran into his arms, both of them holding on tightly.
"Thought I will be deprived of this, Boss." At her words, Arjun let out a sob and buried his nose in the crook of her neck, breathing her in.
She dropped the bomb out of nowhere and he just could not take it. He had lived through almost three days of a world where she did not exist, and now she wants to leave forever so that it can happen again, over and over, each and every day. He almost could not breathe thinking about the possibility. There was a time she did not exist for him, and then she was everywhere. She stole his heart and ruined his sanity and he almost lost her to death, now he will lose her to their destiny and her tragedy.
And yet, he could not bear the thought of not seeing her- especially if it was for the last time. He had ran like his life depended on it, and was relieved to see her still in the building, standing in the dark corner of ETF conference room.
"Will I ever you see again?" He asked. In response her arms tightened around him, then fell away. He knew his time was up, but he would not move. Could not.
"Thank you." She whispered in his ears. He squeezed her one last time, moved away enough to look at her face. Take in every line on her face, crinkle near her eyes and smile around her lips. Take in the heartbroken expression for the last time.
He could not breathe again. The next moment, she would be gone. He won't have her the next moment, tomorrow, for the next week or month.
How the fuck he was going to make it.
She moved a few steps away, and just when he was panicking, extended her hand for a handshake. He laughed in disbelieve, then indulged her by shaking it back. Cool metal touched his palm and he frowned, when their hands parted he saw it was her ETF badge.
His eyes were glued into it, and Riya took the cue to leave. She walked past her team mates- her friends, her family, people who saved her life- the familiar desks, the bullpen, the support staff. Brushed away when Chotu wanted to see her off, waited for the elevator to come up.
She got in, and just before the door was going to close stuck her head out to look at them, one last time. ACP Arjun Rawte still stood in the dark room, his back towards her.
Goodbye.
There was a media circus the moment Neel Sahay emerged from the SUV, secret agents and special guards in tow. They pushed each other to shout questions, take pictures, touch him, but the guards stood like a wall. They escorted him inside the solitary confinement, maximum security prison. Once the giant metallic door closed, the noise died down and a pin drop silence followed.
IB- RAW liaison officer Vir Rahane stood straight, his sharp eyes taking in each movement of Sahay. Gone was the confident, murderer and intelligent 'Magician'. He was terrified, he did not know what the future hold and nothing worked out like he planned. Seeing him like this made Rahane warm from the inside- this is where you belong. This is how you end.
The prison door opened the closed behind Sahay. Rahane turned around and walked out, smirking to himself at the special gift he had left for the hacker.
Neel sat on the thin, hard mattress and looked around, for the first time in forever feeling out of depth. The silence was deafening, until . . .
"Hello, Neel." Haqqani's soft murmur echoed inside the room.
Heart in throat, all he could do was to stare at the grey walls around him.
The end