I own NOTHING
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Zuko's POV: 3 years later
Sitting down at my desk I begin thinking of what I should write to my beloved. We've just reached the south pole after running through all of our leads and each passing day my hope for ever returning dims. After three years at sea I can't help but wonder how Mai has changed. There's a part of me that wants nothing more than to run into her arms but there's another part of me that's scared. I'm scared that when she sees me she'll be disgusted or come to her senses. She doesn't deserve having to put her life on hold for me. I don't know what else to do but to tell her how I feel.
Dear Mai,
When it hurts so bad,
why does it feel so good?
I wish this all made sense,
I wish I understood.
Not having you here with me is tearing me up inside,
but I can't stop thinking about you no matter how hard I try.
You know how I feel about you,
and I know I want to spend the rest of my life with you,
but it's so hard to do when I can't even be next to you.
Why does it gotta be so complicated?
Loving you feels so right,
but at the same time,
knowing I can't have you keeps me awake at night.
I just want this to be simple,
I just want you here with me,
to look into your eyes,
be held in your arms...then I'd truly be happy.
Through these three long years your letters have kept me afloat whenever I feel I'm about to drown. Your love and care is something I one day wish to deserve. I can't stop this feeling though, that I'm holding you from reaching your fullest. with each passing day I'm sailing further away with still no luck of coming home. I must capture the avatar but I no longer know how. I'm scared of not being able to ever see you again, but I'm also scared of what seeing you might mean. In these years I've changed and though I'm sure you have as well I fear I have changed for the worse. I now bear the mark of a banished prince, a horrendous scar across my face making me unlovable. Believe that if there were chance I'd be allowed back home I'd take it but now it seems more like a fools errand. A wild armadillo-goose chase. It is my wish for you to be happy, it is my deepest desire. It is now why with great sorrow in my heart that I ask, whatever bond you have to me whatever hope you have that I'll come back. lose it. For your own good for there is no happiness in false hope and waiting. Find someone who will love you even the smallest fraction of my love for you and they will love you to the sun and back 100 times over.
Where I am now it is cold, the southern water tribe hase the harshest weather and torturous waters. Yet its beauty is something to behold, the snow shimmers in the light like crystal and the icebergs stand alone like islands of their own. The waters glimmer in Agni's light but become wrathful by Tui's night. There's a vastness looking out, that makes me feel like the only being here for miles on end but there's a familial loving warmth within the people here. Uncle says that by observing and understanding how different people lead their lives we can learn to become more well rounded people and thus better in our understanding and knowledge. Sometimes I wonder why all those people had to die. Why so many families had to have been broken. It can't have been for nothing right?
These thoughts are leading me down a treacherous path and I need your guidance. You've always helped me, you've always understood what I need, who I am. I need to know what I'm doing is right. I feel like I'm being pulled every which direction by what other people want me to do and everyone say their way is the right way is confusing me. Do I have a responsibility to my father even if what he's doing is wrong? Or should my loyalty lie with my people? Is there truth to uncle's ramblings that I need to listen to and follow? Help me make a decision Mai, you're the only one that's ever been truly honest with me.
yours forever and always
~Zuko
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After setting my letter out to dry I head back to the deck of the ship to get some fresh air as I'm pretty frustrated with all my thoughts clearly running through my head. As I walk past Uncle my gaze becomes captivated by an incredible beacon of light.
"Finally...Uncle do you realize what this means?!"
"I won't get to finish my game?"
"It means my search is about to come to an end"
Uncle sighs
"That light came from an incredibly powerful source. It has to be him!"
"Or it's just the celestial lights, we've been down this road before prince Zuko. I don't want you to get too excited over nothing. Please sit, why don't you enjoy a cup of calming jasmine tea"
"I DON'T NEED ANY CALMING TEA! I NEED TO CAPTURE THE AVATAR! HELMSMAN! HEAD A COURSE FOR THE LIGHT"
"Prince Zuko-
"I'll be in my room uncle, I must prepare for the avatar's capture. I expect another fire bending lesson when I return"
With that I march back to my room.
As soon as I get inside my room I open my letter writing box and and take out the materials needed and write;
Dear Mai,
I believe I have found the avatar, if I am correct upon their capture I should be home in no less than a month. I might just be coming home my love.
yours,
Zuko
I roll up this letter along with the others written today and last night and place them in chronological order. Once rolled I bring it with me out of my room and start looking for Xiu to send the compiled letters to Mai.
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Mai's POV:
Walking through master Piandao's armoury I can do nothing but appreciate the level of craftsmanship this man has and wonder if I'll ever be able to master all of them. In my one year of training with Piandao I've mastered: the jian, the sai, shuriken, darts, archery, the crossbow, calligraphy, the combat sickle and scythe, the spear, the longsword, the war hammer, the dual axe and the dart knife. There are more I'm still in the process of learning but being here has made me the happiest I've been in a long time. Zuko suggested asking my parents again to train in Shu Jing but this time I convinced Azula it was somewhere I should go to learn more about the blade and once the princess agreed my parents had no choice but to say yes. Plus being back home is too stressful and boring. I don't have to hide my letters to and from Zuko and I no longer have to stress about being the perfect daughter. Especially now that my parents have Tom-Tom their basically rubbing it in my face how much they would've preferred me be a male fire bender and how little they care for me now that I'm no longer of use to them.
"Lady Mai, I figured I'd find you here"
"Master Piandao, you should know by now this is my favourite room at your estate, Thank you again for training me here and showing such hospitality."
"Any friend of Zuko and Iroh's is a friend of mine, though the amount of letters we're receiving from the young prince makes me think your friendship is much more than I initially realized. How is my old student now anyway?"
"I never tried to hide my relationship with Zuko, especially not whilst here. As for how he's doing I should be expecting a letter from him within the next 2 or 3 days, maybe sooner if he has something he can't wait to share." I let out with a sigh
"Would it make you feel better if I told you that you're my best student so far."
At this I feel my mood spike up in my chest if only for a moment and a feeling of pride in my accomplishments. I can't wait to tell Zuko.
"Thank you Master Piandao you have been to kind to me, it is an honour to receive this praise from someone of your mastery and caliber."
"Enough with the formalities Lady Mai, I think you've earned it"
"Very well, so long as you call me Mai "
"What were you thinking about right before I walked in? You seemed to be in deep concentration and if it were possible even mildly surprised."
"I was just wondering if I needed to pick up a new weapon or get better at an older skill. I need a better distraction, it seems that while my parents aren't here to control me their letters are starting to make it feel like they are."
"Well we do have a Yuyan archer arriving in a few days time perhaps a crash course in archery and stealth ought to excite you. Who knows, with your skills you might even get recruited."
"I don't doubt the excitement it'll have to offer but I would probably have to decline any offers for the time being. My parents do not yet know the lengths of my knowledge and training and I believe they'd prefer me being married off to some rich nobleman whom I know nothing about to the idea that I'd be fighting. Also you know as well as I that this war is not worth the sacrifice of life."
"I couldn't have worded it better myself Mai" Piandao says as Xiu approaches then bows
"Lady Mai, I've just received a letter from Prince Zuko. Master Piandao, Fat has a letter for you from General Iroh"
"I'd better go see what new Pai Sho strategies and tea blends Iroh has come up with. I'll leave you to your letter Mai, do inform Zuko to practice with his swords" he says whilst walking away.
"I will Piandao. Follow me Xiu to the sitting room"
It was a hassle to convince my parents to let Xiu come with me, apparently they thought we were lovers but after tracking both Xiu and mines movements for a little over a week they realized that was not the case. Thank Agni Zuko had already started sending his letters to Piandao's castle or else they would've learned of the letters and force me to end communication. Once they were convinced of no ill intentions I simply made up the excuse of Xiu being able to protect me should anything bad happen, and told them he is my most trusted male servant. That appeased them and they let him come with me.
"Of course Mai."
As we reach the sitting room and become seated Xiu hands me the roll of 2 days worth of letters. The first 2 letters are from Aimashi for Xiu which I hand back to him and the 3 left over are from Zuko to me. Looking through the letters I start with the shortest as it was obviously written hastily and has me a bit concerned.
I believe I have found the avatar, if I am correct upon their capture I should be home in no less than a month. I might just be coming home my love.
I have found the avatar, if I am correct upon their capture I should be home in no less than a month. I might just be coming home my love.
if I am correct upon their capture I should be home in no less than a month. I might just be coming home my love.
I should be home in no less than a month. I might just be coming home my love.
I might just be coming home my love.
"He's coming home" I whisper
At this Xiu's head snaps up
"Lady Mai?"
"He might've just found the Avatar. He's going to be coming home"
At this revelation I have to actively hold back my tears but it's proving to be difficult
"Congratulations, Mai"
"I think I'll spend so time reading his letters and writing back, please tell Master Piandao that I will not be joining him for any afternoon lessons today and bring my lunch to my room when it is prepared."
"Of course, Mai"
and with that I was off.
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