9 YEARS AGO
Akaashi was silent the whole time as he eat across Inoue, while Inoue was telling him things that are going on in his life. Akaashi did not care, all he's thinking about is how is he going to fix this kind of situation, and return everything back to normal.
Akaashi stopped eating and looked at Inoue who's smiling in front of him, while talking.
"Inoue.." Akaashi calls.
Inoue glanced at Akaashi, "Yeah?"
"You need to stop doing this." He stated, pertaining to Inoue always threatening Akaashi to take his own life.
"Doing what?"
"You know, always calling me here and telling me that you'd end your life if I don't come. Maybe for you it's fun, but for me it's not." Akaashi admits, he heard Inoue dropped his utensils gently and stopped eating.
"Why? Am I interrupting something while you come here?" Inoue asks.
Akaashi did not even hesitate to nod as a response, "You are interrupting the way I usually do my daily routines."
"And in that routine, Bokuto is included?" Inoue asks.
"Bokuto has nothing to do with this, you're the problem Inoue. Stop doing this thing, if you want me to come you can just properly ask me. Stop threatening me that you'll end your life, it's not funny."
Inoue stopped what he was doing and stared at hid plate, placed in front of him. Akaashi can't figure out what he's currently thinking, nor read the expressions plastered in his face.
"Why are you letting yourself be manipulated by Bokuto?" Inoue asked Akaashi.
Akaashi was even more confused, "What are you saying?"
"Bokuto is clearly manipulating you to avoid me, did you not notice? You started to drift away from me ever since you met Bokuto!" Inoue started spurting out absolute nonsense.
"What? Are you out of your mind?" Akaashi asked.
"No, think carefully! You are not like this before! You're always by my side before, and you always follow what I say! But now...now that you're with Bokuto, you started to rebel from me!"
"I am not your property, Inoue! You can't just treat me like an object." Akaashi was furious, just by hearing all those things coming from Inoue.
"No! You're mine Akaashi, you're mine to begin with. But you are starting to drift away from me! You're supposed to listen to everything I say-"
Akaashi stood up causing a loud noise coming from his chair, and stopping Inoue from what he was rumbling about.
"Let's not see each other for a while," Akaashi said and looked down to meet Inoue's eyes.
He was clearly surprised with what Akaashi just said, "What? Do you not care for me anymore? What if I die?"
Akaashi took a deep breath, "Let's take a break from all of this Inoue. Please don't contact me anymore."
"Akaashi, you can't do this to me. I'll really kill myself this time if you do this!" Inoue started to panic.
"Inoue, you're my friend and I really care for you. But, I can't let you destroy my relationship with anyone for your own benefit. Please, stop this. Just contact me if you're already fine," Akaashi said.
Inoue went quiet and just looked at Akaashi, with so much pain in his eyes.
Akaashi can't even explain how painful it is to see your friend being like this.
"Contact you if I'm already fine? What do you mean by that?"
"If you're not being like this anymore, if you go back to what you were before." Akaashi says.
Inoue pressed his lips together, "So you think I'm also crazy? That there's something wrong with my head?"
"I did not say that!"
"But what you're trying to say is also like that! I know my self, I am fine. There's nothing wrong with me." Inoue mumbles under his breath.
Akaashi sighed, "Let's just stop this. You need time to think for yourself, you can contact me after that."
Akaashi turned his back away from Inoue and started walking out from their house. Akaashi heard Inoue's footsteps behind him but he's not saying anything.
Akaashi just proceeded to exit their house and leave Inoue.
Akaashi opened the door and heard Inoue say something.
"I'll go back to normal, only if you break up with Bokuto." He said, it's almost like a whisper but loud enough for Akaashi to hear.
Akaashi turned around to Inoue, "No."
"If you leave this house and leave, I'll end our friendship."
Akaashi froze on his feet when he heard what Inoue just said, what?
"Are you crazy? You'll end our friendship just because of this?" Akaashi asks.
Inoue nods, "Choose Keiji. It's either you lose me, or you lose Bokuto."
Akaashi's forehead furrowed and realized only one thing, Inoue's not the same person he is from before. He's different.
Akaashi turned his back from Inoue, "If you're really my friend you won't make me choose like this."
Before Akaashi knew it, his friendship with Inoue ended. It was painful but also he felt relief in his chest.
They were friends for years, but just for that reason he would make Akaashi choose? That's messed up. Also, Bokuto did nothing wrong from all that's happening. It was Inoue's choice himself, to be like that.
Bokuto has nothing to do with how he acted.
Days went by, followed by weeks and months. Everything went alright, Inoue didn't bother them anymore which is a very good thing.
"Akaashi!!" Akaashi heard a familiar call coming from Bokuto who's running towards Akaashi with papers in hand.
Akaashi smiled at how cute he looks, "Yes?"
"I passed!! I passed the test, I am not taking summer classes!! We can hang out during summer now!!" Bokuto cheerfully said with a bright smile plastered in his face.
"Really? Congrats, Bokuto-san."
"Thankfully, Kuroo taught me in chemistry it was so confusing but I passed anyway!" Bokuto said with his smile never fading.
"You should treat me lunch later because you passed," Akaashi said.
Bokuto laughs and gave Akaashi's head a light pat, "Of course, sure. You pushed me to study after all, so it's also thanks to you."
"Wait really? I was just kidding."
Bokuto laughed, "Really! I'll treat you lunch later, we should bring Konoha along."
Akaashi smiled a bit, "He'll complain for sure."
Bokuto laughed, "For sure!"
"You'll be in your 3rd year soon..." Akaashi said and leaned on the wall behind him.
Bokuto's smile vanished, "Yep! It's going to be my last year in highschool."
"Yeah. Where are you planning to go in college?" Akaashi asked Bokuto, not looking directly to him.
"How about you? Where are you planning to go?" Bokuto asked..
Akaashi laughs a little, "You're the one who's going to graduate first, why are you asking me?"
"Nothing, just answer it.."
Akaashi smiled, "Kyoto."
Bokuto nodded, "Okay. Then I'll go there."
Akaashi was surprised and quickly turned to Bokuto's direction to see his face, "Wait. Are you serious?"
Bokuto nodded, "Yup! I'll wait there, for you." He said and smiled widely.
Akaashi was overjoyed when he heard Bokuto say that, he chuckled a bit, "Then you'll need to study hard in your 3rd year. Kyoto's entrance examination is hard, I heard."
"Heh, don't worry I'll pass for sure!" Bokuto proudly said and laughed.
"Is it okay? Is that the best choice of college for your future field?" Akaashi asks.
"It doesn't matter where really, since I'll be playing pro volleyball in the future!" Bokuto says.
"You love volleyball that much?" Akaashi asks.
"So much. It's literally my life! No volleyball no life," Bokuto chuckled. "Also, No Akaashi no Life."
When Akaashi heard that he felt his face warmed and can feel his heart beating so fast.
"You like me that much?" Akaashi tried to tease Bokuto.
Bokuto nods, "Yeah."
Akaashi chuckled a bit, "Me too. I also like you that much."
"Should we live together in college?" Bokuto suggests with a bright smile in his face.
Akaashi nodded, "That would be great. Will your parents be okay with that?"
"Yep, my Mom isn't strict and she's always supportive with me. Also my sisters already know about you, Kuroo told them."
Akaashi smiled with that, "My Mom is okay with everything too, Dad is kinda strict but it'll work out."
"That's a relief.." Bokuto said.
When classes were over, Bokuto and Akaashi attended their volleyball practice like usual. Then walked home together like they usually do.
When Akaashi got home, their house had an awful mood just right after he entered. It seems like his parents are fighting over something he did not know about.
Akaashi entered their living room only to see his mother's puffy eyes.
"Mom, why are you crying? What's happening?" Akaashi asked with so much worry in his voice.
He dropped his bag and quickly sat beside his Mom and looked at his Father who is sitting across them.
"Dad? What happened?"
Akaashi's father sighed, "We went bankrupt."
"What? How? I thought the business was going good? How did this happen quick?" Akaashi asked.
"We don't have any idea, our investors suddenly withdrew their investments. Our sales dropped significantly, we tried everything to save the company but..nobody is willing to accept any of our partnership requests." His father explained.
Akaashi did not know what to say or how to console his parents.
"But..Inoue's mother offered a partnership to us. It was a great deal, it will aid our company's loss." His mother spoke.
Inoue's mother? This is happening so quick.
"But we won't accept it. I know how that family works, their mind isn't sane." His father said firmly.
Akaashi kept quiet, he doesn't know what to say and do about this situation.
"Don't worry about us Keiji, just focus in your studies. We will figure things out, we can't let our business down. We worked so hard just for this." His father said with a small smile in his lips.
Although his father did say that to him, as day passed by and every tomorrow comes. His parents grew tired and spent. They were arguing almost every single day.
The usual warmth that he felt in his home disappeared, it was replaced by emptiness. His mother aren't even greeting him home anymore, his father always go home stinking with alcohol.
It was painful. Very painful for Akaashi. The happy and joyful family he had disappeared, just like that.
"Your parents are fighting again?" Konoha asked when he got out of his room and saw Akaashi just leaning on the wall outside.
Akaashi nodded, "Yeah.."
"Am I starting to be a bother?" Konoha leaned on the wall beside Akaashi.
"No. Mom and Dad would never feel like that, you're like a family to us ever since before."
Konoha snorts, "I applied for a job. Don't worry, it's far from our school so they won't know about it."
"I am planning to get one too, any ideas?" Akaashi said in a low voice.
"I'll send you the address for the restaurant I am working to," Konoha said.
"Thanks. Just don't mention any of this to our parents." Akaashi says, and smiled a little.
"Of course, they would scold us for sure. But don't worry, this mouth is sealed."
Akaashi let out a small laugh with what just Konoha said. He's thankful that he have Konoha in his side, even though he can't comfort his parents. Akaashi will do everything just to lessen their burden, and Konoha felt the same.
"What? You started working?" Bokuto stopped eating and looked at Akaashi, completely shocked.
Akaashi nods, "Yeah. I need to work, so that I won't ask money to my parents anymore. We're really having serious financial problems at this moment.."
Bokuto chewed his food slowly, "Oh..I see, I understand. Then we will not be able to have our Sunday dates anymore?"
Akaashi shook his head, making Bokuto frown.
"Sorry...I have Saturday day off but..we have volleyball practice." Akaashi said.
Bokuto nodded, "It's fine. I understand, we can still hang out after volleyball practice right?"
Akaashi gave Bokuto a nod, "Yes."
"Okay, that will work out.." Bokuto smiled and continued eating.
"We won't be able to walk together home, too?" He asked while eating.
"Sorry...we can't. After the practice I need to go to work.."
Bokuto pats Akaashi's head, "It's alright. No need to apologize about it, but...can you manage?"
"Mhm? What do you mean?"
"You're going to exhaust your body so much with that. Going to work right after the practice.." Bokuto said with worry.
Akaashi smiled, "Don't worry. I'll take care of my body."
Is what Akaashi said but he was wrong, he underestimated the fatigue from working. It was so difficult, he wanted to quit volleyball so that he can focus in his work but...Bokuto will be very sad about that.
He can't take seeing Bokuto sad. It breaks his heart.
Konoha quitted the volleyball club, he said going to work right after practice and working 5 hours straight is too much for him.
Thankfully, it was near their graduation and they can make excuses regarding on why they are always going home late. But there were times that Akaashi's parents weren't home.
"Are you okay?" Akaashi heard Kenma asked.
Akaashi looked up to Kenma, who's silently sipping on his milkshake. "I'm tired."
"Figures. The bags under your eyes are horrible." Kenma said, observing Akaashi's physical appearance.
"I'm so exhausted. Physically and mentally." Akashi said and dropped his forehead on the table in front of them.
"Why don't you just quit volleyball? That would save so much of your time." Kenma suggests.
"No.." He immediately refused.
"Why?"
"Bokuto will be sad."
Kenma sighs, "He'll understand. Just tell him the reason why.."
"I'm scared Kenma..what if he grows tired of always understanding me? He's always the one understanding me, and he never tells me the problems he's going through, it's always me telling him my problems and him comforting and understanding me.." Akaashi mumbled.
"He'll grew tired of me...he's always the one understanding me." Akaashi added.
"He already know your situation and how hard it is right now, I'm sure he can understand it. It's also for your own good, and I know Bokuto-san will do anything for your good." Kenma pointed out.
"No, it's okay. Summer is near, classes will end and I will have more time to work and rest.."
Kenma sighed, "You never listen. Don't wait until your body gives up on you, Akaashi."
Akaashi let out a small laugh, "Yeah. Thanks for the reminder, I guess. How are you and Kuroo-san?"
Kenma's expression change entirely from beingn serious to a flustered one, "We're fine I guess. He's currently dating Tsukishima."
"Oh. But I though him and Yamaguchi..?"
"I thought so too, I guess Tsukishima is dating Kuro because he wanted to make Yamaguchi jealous. Who knows.."
Akaashi smiled, "And? How are you handling it? You like Kuroo-san right?"
Kenma chuckled a bit, "It was fine I guess. He tells me all their lovey-dovey moments and I just listen not saying anything."
"It's frustrating but it was fine, I can manage."
Akaashi laughed and had a very good talk with Kenma, them telling each other their problems and giving each other advices.
Talking with Kenma lifted a great weigh from Akaashi's chest. It felt good to let out all of his frustrations.
After a long day, Akaashi stepped out of the school gym after their practice. He waited for Bokuto to also come out so that they can exit the school together, like usual.
"Bye! I'll see you guys tomorrow!" Akaashi hears Bokuto saying goodbye to their teammates.
Bokuto stepped out the gymnasium and spotted Akaashi waiting for him, he instantly smiled and walked towards Akaashi.
"Let's go." He says and held Akaashi's hand.
"How's work?" Bokuto asked Akaashi while walking to the school's exit.
"It was fine. I spoke with Kenma yesterday." He tells Bokuto.
"Mhm..take a good care of yourself okay? Don't overwork your body, and always take a rest if you can." Bokuto reminds Akaashi, it was the same reminder he was saying since the day he started working.
It was so sweet of him. "Got that."
When they reached the school's exit Bokuto gave Akaashi's hand a tight squeeze before letting go.
"I'll go home now.." Bokuto says.
Akaashi smiled and nodded, "Okay. Take care."
"You too." Bokuto said and leaned close to Akaashi to plant a kiss on his forehead..
"I'll see you tomorrow," He said and pats Akaashi's forehead before turning his back away and started walking away from Akaashi.
Akaashi was about to get on, on his bike when he saw a familiar figure walking towards him. When he realized who it is, he instantly froze.
He was nailed on his feet as Inoue walkes closer towards Akaashi.
When their eyes meet, Inoue gave Akaashi a smile but it never reached his eyes.
"Hi, Keiji. It's been a long time.." Inoue greets Akaashi and leaned on the tree, creating a distance between them enough for them to communicate.
Akaashi gritted his teeth, "Yeah. 3 months."
"That long huh? How were you?"
"I am alright. You?"
"Fine too, I guess. I heard about your family's business." Inoue instantly brought it up, not even thinking of how will Akaashi feel about that topic.
"Yeah, and I heard your Mom offered a partnership." Akaashi said.
Inoue chuckled, "I told her to offer one."
"Why?"
"Mhm? What do you mean? I'm helping you. I heard you started working, and I don't want you to suffer like that." He said calmly, but the way Akaashi interpreted it had a sense of threat for him.
"What do you want?"
Inoue smiled, "Good thing you asked."
"I did what you said. I did not contact you until I am alright, I thought about it deeply for the past few months and I realized that what I did to you was horrible. I shouldn't destroy your relationship with Bokuto, right?" Inoue says.
Akaashi should feel relieved, but he didn't. More like he was scared.
"During those thinking, I realized my feelings for you. Keiji, I realized that I love you, ever since in middle school. Crazy right? I tried to cover up my feelings by using our friendship but it made me feel worse. So, I realized to be upfront about it, and stop treating you like a friend."
"You heard about my feelings, how about you Keiji? Do you feel the same?" Inoue asked.
Akaashi closed his eyes for a moment to keep himself calm and composed, "I don't. Bokuto and I are still together, and I don't have plans on changing my feelings just for you."
Inoue let out a laugh and tried to hide his smile with his palm, "Alright. I can't do anything about it but..."
"I'll do everything to destroy your relationship. Better be prepared, I guess?"
Akaashi did not know what's the meaning behind what Inoue just said to him earlier but after a week he got called into the principal's office, shocking him the most.
When he entered the office he already saw Konoha inside and his parents too, and Akaashi instantly knew what's the fuss all about.
"Mr. and Mrs. Akaashi, one of our students reported that Keiji-kun and Akinori-kun are secretly working for a part-time job, miles away from our school." The principal spoke.
Akaashi squeezed his own hands together and waited for his parents to say something.
"What? That's impossible, our kids are busy studying for their tests and projects. They don't have time to work." Akaashi's mother said.
The principal cleared his throat, "The final tests for this semester is weeks away and I believe the teachers are not giving the students any projects for this semester yet."
Akaashi can feel his parent's eyes to him. Akaashi did not dare to look up and meet their eyes.
"Is there any problems at home? I believe I can't tolerate this because it will be unfair for the other students."
His father let out a loud sigh, "No. There's nothing wrong with our family, I apologize for their mistakes. I'll surely talk to them at home."
Akaashi and Konoha received a good scolding from their parents. They expected that, but it was horrible when it happens.
"I understand your concerns but don't meddle yourselves into this problem. You need to focus at school and have fun, us, adults, will find a way to solve this problem. Please don't cause more problems for us, Keiji, Akinori..." His mother pleads.
Akaashi's father washed his face using his hands, and sighed out of disappointment.
"We'll accept the request."
"What?" His mom was shocked.
"We'll accept the partnership request from Irie."
Shirofuku Irie, Inoue's mother.
"But you said you won't?" His mom asked.
"We have no other choice. Our children are making ways to lighten our burden, I can't let that happen. They're supposed to live comfortably by our support."
His dad accepted Shirofuku Irie's partnership request. Akaashi thought that wouldn't do much, but their business went back rolling when they accepted the partnership. He thought it was a great idea afterall but, it became more complicated for Akaashi.
"Akaashi! Hurry, he's in the clinic." One of the upper-class men said to him.
Akaashi hurried to the school's clinic, ignoring the bell's sound signalling for another class. Bokuto is much more important for him.
When he teached the clinic he instantly went inside and saw Bokuto laying on one of then beds.
"Bokuto-san!"
Bokuto's face brightened up when he saw Akaashi. "Akaashi!!"
"What happened? Are you okay? I heard you were brought here.." Akaashi continuously asked and sat on the edge of the bed.
Bokuto smiled, "Oh..I don't know much since I lost consciousness but I remember seeing Inoue."
What? Inoue?
"Are you sure? He's not suppose to be in the campus. He's already kicked out." Akaashi said, starting to feel nervous and unsettled.
Bokuto smiled, "It's fine. I just twisted my ankle nothing more."
"Your ankle? But you can't play volleyball while still recovering then?" Akaashi asked.
Bokuto showed Akaashi his usual bright smile, "It's fine! It's just my ankle, it'll heal. I'll be able to play once everything's fine."
Akaashi took a deep breath, "Let's go to school together starting tomorrow, and don't ever leave my side."
Bokuto smiled, "Are you that worried?" Bokuto grins.
"Idiot, of course I am! Who wouldn't be?!"
Bokuto sat up and embraced Akaashi and started patting his back, "It's alright. I'll take care of myself more. I'll be fine as long as you're here."
Where did Akaashi ever go wrong? Did his choices hurt others around him? Is it that hard to be with the person you really love?
Akaashi thought the incident of Bokuto twisting his ankle isn't a big deal. But seeing Bokuto laying down on a hospital bed, unconscious. He can't help it but blame himself.
"Who are you?" Akaashi heard someone say, when he look at that direction he saw a familiar two-toned hair and golden eyes.
"I'm Akaashi Keiji, Bokuto's..uh..partner." Akaashi introduces himself.
The woman's eyes glimmers when she hear that, "Oh! I'm Kou's mother. It's nice meeting you."
Bokuto's mother sat on the couch facing Akaashi who's sitting on the stool beside Bokuto's bed.
"What..happened?" Akaashi took the courage to ask.
"We don't know. The students who found him said they saw him lying outside, near the school, unconscious and bleeding." His mother explained.
Akaashi clenched his palm into a fist and tried to held back his tears.
'Ah..it's all my fault. Bokuto don't deserve this.'
"He woke up earlier, but he kept finding someone named Akaashi, I guess it's you?"
For a second, his heart warmed. Knowing that Bokuto's still thinking about him the moment he woke up. Akaashi felt so loved by Bokuto.
"I don't know what's happening with Kou, did he have enemies in school? I know my Kou is a very good kid. I know he won't encounter troubles in school, but I don't know why did this happen.." Bokuto's mother said with so much melancholy in her voice.
Akaashi can't say a word, he knew he's the reason why it happened. He knew it was because of him, and he knew it was Inoue.
"N-No..Bokuto-san is such a great person, I believe he would never have enemies. Maybe it's just a misunderstanding.." Akaashi did not know how he managed to say it without trembling.
"Ah...he's a very kind kid. Why did people have to do this to him..." Bokuto's mother mumbled under her breath.
Akaashi can feel his heart clenching and tightening so bad.
"I-I'll find a way to protect Bokuto-san.." Akaashi said and smiled.
"No. It's fine, just stay with him and he'll be fine. I already contacted the school and reported it to the police to try and investigate what happened.." Bokuto's mother said with a smile in her face.
But Akaashi knows, the authorities won't help. They won't do any good.
'They're so kind..how can they be so kind?'
After that day, Akaashi went straight ahead to Inoue's house. He can't let this things continue to happen, everything's getting messier and messier.
Bokuto's hurting! Not only emotionally but also physically, just what is he trying to do!? Is he trying to kill Bokuto!?
"INOUE!" Akaashi called out Inoue with his whole voice.
"Oh? You're here?" Inoue peeked in the living room to see Akaashi standing there.
"Just why the hell are you doing this to us!?" Akaashi asked, angrily. He can't contain any of his emotions anymore.
"What?"
"Don't act clueless to me now! You harmed Bokuto! Did you know what you just freaking do to him!?"
Inoue went quiet and looked at Akaashi, "You cried?" He asked worried.
"Just answer me! What the fuck is wrong with you, Inoue?! Are you that lonely that you need to mess with someone's life just to have fun!?"
"Oh, Bokuto huh..." Inoue sat on the couch. "Yeah, I did order some people to confront him and hurt him...a little."
"But I guess they overdid it?"
Akaashi can't believe what he was hearing, he just stood there and looked at Inoue.
"Stop this. Just stop this madness, Inoue. Do you seriously think you'll make me leave Bokuto!? You're just making me stay with him even more!"
Inoue laughed, a very unusual laugh that Akaashi ever heard. "Damn right."
"You love him, and? So what? I don't care. I'll do anything to have you back. If you want me to stop, then break up with him, as easy as that. Then be with me, just like how you're always by my side before." Inoue said.
"No, why would I want to be with you?"
Inoue's facial muscles relaxed and sighed. "I guess I have no other choice then...."
"Did you know? I'll be inheriting my mother's business next year. I'll just have to remind you that, once I own that business, I have the right to cancel your parents' partnership anytime."
"And what will happen? You guys will go bankrupt again, then what? You'll work again? But I don't care. That won't stop me from harming Bokuto, because I don't want to harm you. Then I'll just harm, everyone around you.."
"Who knows who's next? Maybe Konoha? That guy don't like me from the start after all.."
Akaashi just stood there and memories of his parents fighting all over and over again rushed in his mind. The tired look from his father and mother from working so hard trying to save their business.
And how Konoha felt like a burden when those times happened, and how he spend less time with Bokuto because of that incident. He can't go over that again..
Inoue smiled, "Choose properly Keiji. Be with me, and just lose one person. Or be with Bokuto, and everyone around you will be messed up."
That night, Akaashi couldn't sleep. More like he wasn't able to sleep a wink. He was thinking about it all night. He talked about it with Konoha.
And Konoha was freaking out about what Inoue is plotting.
He planned on telling his parents, but...that would make them cancel their partnership with Inoue's mother immediately because of Akaashi's situation. They would be in a rough situation once again.
Akaashi's not even sure if reporting it to Inoue's mom would help.
After class, Akaashi went to the hospital where Bokuto is recovering. He made up his mind. But as he gets closer to Bokuto's room, he felt like his feet are being dragged.
His steps were heavy. His heart is aching. Even though he's still not seeing Bokuto, his eyes are already watering.
Akaashi took a very deep breath and knocked at the door before entering.
"Akaashi!!" Akaashi was greeted by Bokuto's wide smile.
His arm, in cast. His head had bandages all around it, and his ankle is still sprained and recovering from the last time. All those injuries made Akaashi finalize his decision even more.
"Hey, Bokuto-san.." Akaashi said with a smile.
He saw Kuroo inside, he also looks so worn out and tired. Probably keeping watch with Bokuto all the time, Kuroo smiled at Akaashi a little.
"Kuroo was about to tell me something, do you want to listen to it?" Bokuto said while chewing an apple.
Akaashi looked at Kuroo, "Kuroo-san. I'd like to talk with Bokuto alone.."
Kuroo nodded and left the room immediately, it was unusual for Kuroo to be so quiet. He must be thinking a lot of things right now.
Akaashi sat on the stool, Kuroo was sitting earlier.
"Hey Akaashi, how's school? Your eyes are red, did you cry?" Akaashi asked.
Akaashi smiled at Bokuto, "I'm okay. Bokuto-san, how about you? Are you okay?"
Bokuto nodded, "Very okay! I'm okay now that I see you."
"Mhm.."
"Kuroo was seriously so serious earlier, I don't know what he was trying to say though but I guess I'll have to hear it later.." Bokuto said and smiled at Akaashi.
"Bokuto-san, are you okay?" Akaashi asked, once again.
"Huh? Of course, I am. These injuries are nothing, as long as you're here. I'm fine, as long as you're here."
Akaashi clenched his fists, "Bokuto-san..I'm not okay..."
Bokuto's smile vanished when Akaashi said that, "What? Are you okay? Is something hurting with you?"
Akaashi bit his lower lip hard. 'How can you ask that when you're the one who's on a hospital bed right now, full of injuries?'
"Bokuto-san, I'm sorry..."
"Mhm? For what?"
"For doing this to you..I'm sorry. It's all my fault..."
Bokuto's face instantly filled with concern, "No. It's not your fault. It's just an accident."
"Bokuto-san...we..we can't be together anymore.."
Akaashi avoided Bokuto's bright eyes and pressed his lips together and tried his best to not let his tears flow.
"Ah..was it because I'm unconscious for too long? Did you miss me that bad? Don't worry, it won't happen again. I'll be here with you always, so don't say that..." Bokuto said with a lot of panic in his voice.
"No. Bokuto-san, let's just stop..I can't do this anymore. I'm tired of this, tired of...you." Akaashi lied. He would never feel like that. Never.
A deafening silence overwhelmed them, and Akaashi took the courage to look up to Bokuto and saw tears streaming out from his eyes.
Seeing that, he immediately had the urge to take back everything what he said and apologize. But Akaashi know he can't, he instantly averted his eyes away from Bokuto.
"Hah...is there something wrong at home right now? If you want I can help you find resolution to this problem, we don't have to end up like that... I can help you."
Akaashi can feel his lips trembling so bad, "N-No, Bokuto-san. I'm tired of this. You're always saying you understand, but in truth you just don't care. I grew tired of it, I hate seeing you pretend like you care when you don't. So let's just stop this."
"But...but I did my best..." Bokuto mumbled slowly.
"Akaashi..I did my best...I did my best to understand everything..was it not enough? Am I not doing my best yet? I can do more...I can support you more, I'll do everything...just..don't leave." Bokuto's voice is already quivering.
"It's not enough. I realized that there are a lot of people who can do more than you, who can understand me best, and who can love me more than you do. It was just so tiring...the way you showed your best to me wasn't enough. It felt like you abandoned me, because you're always just saying you understand but you don't do anything."
"I'm sorry Bokuto-san, but your best wasn't enough."
How can Akaashi say all of that without his voice trembling? Akaashi doesn't know the reason. He tried his best to lie, he tried his best to hurt Bokuto.
It's okay...'I'm okay'.
"Akaashi..let's try again. I'll try to understand you more, and do things for you more."
Akaashi sighed, "Why are you so persistent in keeping me? Let's just end this immediately."
"Because...because I won't be fine, if you leave. I don't know what to do if you're not here with me anymore, so please...please Akaashi.."
"I'm sorry, but I can't be with the person that I don't love." Akaashi lied, again. That was the most painful thing Akaashi had ever said, if he could take it back he definitely would.
"...don't say that...don't lie to me."
"I am not lying Bokuto-san, I don't love you anymore. You're so tiring to be with."
"Then say it while looking into my eyes..stop lying to me Akaashi...you're really hurting me you know.."
'Look into his eyes.' Akaashi gathered up everything, everything he could gather inside him and looked directly into Bokuto's golden eyes.
It was different. His eyes were different, it's not like the usual.
It's not bright anymore, it's hurting.
"Bokuto-san, I don't love you anymore."
Bokuto shut his eyes close, and the tears just kept flowing from his eyes. It's never ending. It was painful.
"Akaashi..." Bokuto calls Akaashi's name. But it wasn't cheerful anymore.
"I love you...so so much. So much that I think I can do everything as long as you're here with me."
Bokuto opened his eyes and looked at Akaashi.
"Akaashi...it's painful."
Akaashi did not know how he managed to end the conversation with Bokuto, how he managed to exit the hospital with his chest tightening so bad and all the tears flowing from his eyes.
He did not know how he managed to act alright in front of Bokuto, the person he loves the most.
Bokuto, where did we go wrong?
to be continued.
・・・
note:
this are all akaashi's point
of view. bokuto's point of
view will be showed soon :)